So I was recently digging through some papers I had in one of my drawers and came across some old 24 stuff back from like '06. I was a HUGE member of the 24um and I had found a thread that fans started called "Why did the chicken cross the road? Responses characters in the show would have." I have NO idea why i printed it off the computer but I am so happy i did because obviously, it no longer exists.
I decided to share it here with you guys because I didn't want it to be lost forever :) Lemme know if any of you happened to be one of the people who came up with these answers, or if you were a 24umer and remember it!

Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Teri: What do you MEAN the chicken crossed the road??
Nina: Relax Teri, just because the chicken crossed the road doesn't mean we can't get him back.

Jamey: I needed the money, the chicken promised me $300,000 if i helped him cross the road.

Heller: But if the chicken crossed the road, that means he would be on the OTHER SIDE!

Audrey: Please, Jack, don't hurt the chicken.

Kim: I'm sorry, Dad, I can't give you the chicken right now.

Chloe: The chicken probably used a Minkowski Algorithm to calculate the easiest trajectory to cross the road.
Jack: Dammit Chloe! Just tell me where the chicken is NOW!

Bill: That chicken has proven it deserves its autonomy!
Submitted by user GreenPatriot

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Chloe: Why the hell do we care about a stupid chicken anyway? Can't you just let me do my job?
Edgar: Chloe, my mother lives on the other side of that road. I can't let the chicken get there.

Logan: Martha, if i don't let that chicken get to the other side these people are going to start killing off the other farm animals!
Martha: Charles, you just don't care what happens to the people on the other side do you? You and your stupid farm animals!
Submitted by user Palmerfan12

Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chickens are all running away from the 24 writers....they want to live.
Sumbitted by user desslergirl

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Chloe: Fine! I was gonna cross the road anyway!
Submitted by user jebm24

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Marie Warner: I told it "You think you'll will be safe on the other side of that road? You won't be"

Andre Drazen: Because the sun went down and the sudden darkness disoriented the chicken

David Palmer: I told that chicken to stay on the other side of the road. Damn it chicken, why are you defying me?!


Logan: I have no idea. Mike, why do you think he crossed the road?

Aaron Pierce: Why is the chicken on the other side of the road, how did he get there and why was i not informed?
Submitted by user ctuSanDiego

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Sherry: David today is either about chickens crossing the road, or winning the primary. It can't be about both.
Submitted by user IDreamOfJack

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Kim: Oh my gawd Dad...why do the chickens around you always die?!
Submitted by user Canada Ctu

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Kim: The chicken crossed the road bec-*Kim gets kidnapped*
Submitted by user rundll32

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Shari Rothernburg: I need to get to the other side before the rooster inappropriately touches me.
Submitted by user Gatsby

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Meanwhile in the situation room....
Buchanan: Hello, Mr. President. You're on with me, Lynn McGill, Chloe, Edgar, and Audrey Raines. Also Jack Bauer in the room.
Logan: So what have we got guys?
Buchanan: Right now we're tracking a chicken that happens to be our only lead. We just observed the chicken has crossed the road over the live satellite feed.

Logan: Do we know why the chicken crossed the road?
Buchanan: No, not yet. But our best intelligence so far indicates that the chicken's crossing of the road does indeed have something to do with today's events.
Logan: I need you to find out why that chicken crossed the road.
Buchanan: We are investigating that right now.
Jack: Give me the chicken suit.
McGill: Chicken suit? Absolutely not! Division protocol strictly forbids us from using the chicken suit during a time of crisis!
Jack: DAMMIT! Let me use the chicken suit!
Buchanan: What do you need the chicken suit for Jack?
Jack: I can go undercover. If I put on the chicken suit, I might be able to establish a cover with the chickens down at the chicken coup on the other side of the road.
Buchanan: Alright Jack do it. Edgar I want you to maintain constant satellite surveillance on this operation and pull up the schematic for the chicken coop. I want us in constant contact for when Jack "goes chicken."
Submitted by user Strawman2K

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Jack: Because it was in flank 2 positions on the other side.

Richard Heller: I don't have too answer that! You have no right to ask me that! This is illegal!

Mike Novick: With all due respect, this is a personal matter.

Stephen Saunders: Even if i told you, you wouldn't understand.

McGill: What?! You're wasting my time, so i would appreciate it if you would stop asking me stupid questions and GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE! THANK YOU!!!

Shari Rothenburg: You were staring at my boobs while you were asking me that question, weren't you?
Submitted by user iamnickname

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Nina: Get with the real world Jack-the chicken was paid.

Chloe: Maybe to get to the other side, duh! Now let me scan these connections, I have work to do.


Sherry Palmer: I know how you feel chickey, talk to me. We have common interests here.

Jack: I'm gonna need a fryer.
Submitted by user Vesin

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Edgar: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Chloe: Shut up, Edgar!
Submitted by user Almeidafan22

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Jack: WHERE ARE THE S-EGG-TOX CANISTERS?!
Chicken: Cluck?
Jack: YOU DO NOT WANT TO CROSS THAT ROAD WITH ME!
Jack: *pulls out PDA* Chloe, it's Jack. Upload the schematic of the henhouse, I need to get in!
Submitted by user corsilab


Why did the chicken cross the road?
Jack: Why did you break it off?!
Audrey: Because the chicken wasn't YOU, Jack
Submitted by user GinaT1000

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Jack: Mr. President I believe the chicken is trying to cross the road to pass the deadly bird flu virus.
President: Jack, can you stop him?
Jack: Yes, Mr. President but i think thats all the information you need to know. Chloe, I need you to check cell phone records of the chicken and find out who is giving him information...
Chloe: Jack, I'm already on it but you aren't going to like what I found...
Jack: Chloe, what is it?!
Chloe: Jack, Audrey has been sleeping with the chicken. The chicken caught the virus from Audrey. I talked to a farmer in Iowa and he remembers them being together.

Jack (interrogating Audrey): DAMN IT AUDREY! Why have you been sleeping with the chicken? Why didn't you tell me?
Audrey: I wanted to tell you. It started with a little peck on the cheek and one thing led to another. But i broke it off.
Jack: Why did you break it off?!
Audrey: Because all i could think of was you....
Submitted by user zulran


Why did the chicken cross the road?
Down at the hotel, Sherry Palmer has just destroyed the chicken....
Palmer: Why did you do it Sherry? It hurts me so much to know i was right.
Sherry: What are you talking about David?! It is just a damn chicken get over it! And what do you mean you were right?
Palmer:*Pulls chicken out of his shirt pocket and gives it CPR as it inflates to its original size*
Sherry: How could you David?!
Palmer: Now I'm going down to that press conference and telling them why the chicken really did cross the road?
Sherry: Please David! NO! Please! Think of what you are doing to your family! Not the chicken David, anything but the chicken!

Bierko: Let us kill the chicken and we will leave all you hens alone
Logan: What am i going to do Mike?
Mike: I have some bad news
Logan: What is it Mike?
Mike: The first hen got into the motorcade with the chicken
Logan: What?!
Mike: I'm sooooo sorry sir
Logan: Pray with me, Mike. Pray with me to the all knowing chicken
Mike: Ummmm sir, I'm not a religious man
Logan: Please Mike...
(A few minutes later)
Mike: CTU is on the phone for you
Logan: Hello?
Bill: We just found out that there might be a hit on the chickens motorcade we are alerting secret chickens saving society right now
Logan: Oh, good (hangs up) Dammit now Bierko is going to think I told Bill and he is going to cross the road and kill all our hens!
Submitted by user lizt24

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Henderson: You have my word, sir. I'll make sure that the chicken crosses the road before Jack Bauer and Wayne Palmer can get to it. I will not let you down, sir.
*Shocking reveal of who Henderson's talking to*
Logan: See that you don't.
Submitted by user Viking 2002


Why did the chicken cross the road?
Buchanan: Chloe, we don't have time for your chicken disorder!
Submitted by user damojo

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Miles: Chloe, why did the chicken cross?
Chloe: Are you serious?! If you want details, I'll file a report!
Submitted by user iwfergie24

I hope you enjoyed reading this :)