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Can someone please help me? I think I'm bisexual, but I don't know.....

Opinion by sapherequeen posted over a year ago
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*sighs* So..lately, I'm starting to think or maybe realize that I am bisexual; I'm attracted by both boys and girls.

After thinking about it, there have been signs of this since I was at a young age, like around five years of age, but I never put these clues together until now....

Well...like I said, it all started at five. For some strange reason, a lot of the little kids in my kindergarten class already started having crushes on one another. There were little girls telling each other so-and-so likes you and giggling about it, and there were boys who basically did the same thing. I can even remember a girl and a boy calling them boyfriend and girlfriend already. *sighs* And then there was me. I never felt anything like a crush towards a boy. If a boy ended up liking me, I'd pretend to like him back, but I really wasn't interested in him (I didn't want to be the only girl who didn't have a boyfriend, you know..kid-stuff).

I guess that's not a really good reason, considering five-year-olds are maybe too young to feel things like that.

But the thing that struck me was that I never had a crush on a boy until I was ten and in the fourth grade. I liked this one very gorgeous guy who I was friends with, and I mean liked. But, it didn't last (I don't really want to get into what happened...).

But around that same time, I also liked an actress, Emily Browning. I always thought she was so beautiful and really liked her. I seemed like an ordinary fan of an actress. But even though I was only ten, I began to realize that I perhaps didn't just like Emily. I may have had a small crush on her.
I stopped liking her after I met my friend who I liked.

Well, after my two crushes I basically lived on without having any..special interest in someone. But I definitely may have experienced more signs from ages eleven to almost fourteen.

I did notice that some boys I knew were very gorgeous, and almost got to the point where I liked them. But at the same time, I noticed the attractiveness of some girls as well, I basically saw what maybe a boy would see; if she had great breasts, great butts, if she had a cute face or smile...well, you know what I mean.

I now (I'm in the ninth grade) think I'm starting to form a crush on a girl right now, if I hadn't so already. I think she's very beautiful and...strangely, I wish I could give her a hug (just a hug, though).


*sighs* I'm really confused. I definitely become attracted by boys and girls, but boys a little bit more. It may be something else, I'm not really sure. But...well, I just don't know...


But knowing whehter I'm bisexual or not isn't my only problem.

I fully accept homosexual people and I actually really like things about them; how confident they are, how generous and sweet they can be, and their senses of humor. :)

But...I don't know how to say this without offending someone..but when I picture myself as homosexual or bisexual, it just...it scares me. No not scare, it just really worries me.

I wouldn't know how to handle a discovery that big about myself, and with the people in my life right now, my being bisexual would just make things a hell lot worse with them, too. :(


But right now, I just want to focus on whether I am bisexual or not bisexual.


Please, if anyone knows what I'm experiencing and can explain things to me, please comment. :(
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25 comments

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Ok well I had the same problem see I always have liked boys but theres this friend this year grade nine who I started to have this huge crush on and shed always kiss me on the cheek and stuff. and before that I fell in love with Olivia wilde. and I know I am really worried about it too but I kindof shook it off and started crushing on this guy for the longest time I thought I was bi but I am pretty sure it was Just a stage in my life because I know plenty of people who worried so much that they were bi that they thought they were Bi. I used to notice the nice buts and big boobs. but I think I am over it now. It might be a stage for you too you might be just so worried you think you are. But right now the best thing i would think to do is just dont tell everyone you think your Bi because if that gets out and you find out your not Bi it would be like a gay guy trying to convince his parents he likes girls.
But if you have any questions talk to me kay or ask me ill answer anything!
posted over a year ago.
 
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Cinders said:
CAST THE DEMON OUT! SOMEONE CALL AN EXORCIST!

... I am so kidding. Sorry, but I couldn't resist.

I understand what you mean about the idea of being different from the norm scares you. It scares everyone. You say you admire the confidence of the LGBT community. Maybe one of the reasons you're scared is because you feel like you lack the confidence to make it work. I don't know you well, but I do know you on Fanpop, and you strike me as the type who doesn't want to cause conflict and wants to get along with everyone (apologies if this is an incorrect conclusion about your character). This is a noble desire, and one that, honestly, I kind of share. But it's impossible.

Being gay/bi means that there will be some people who judge you without really knowing you, and I think that's what's scaring you. One of my best friends had a really hard time coming to terms with his own homosexuality. He said he wanted to fit in and be like everyone else. He wanted to have a family, like society tells us we're supposed to have. You know, husband and wife with 2.5 kids and a dog. But if he was gay, he couldn't have that ideal.

This crisis of his happened a long time ago, and now he's far more secure with himself and his sexuality. Regardless, there are still times where he says to me that he wishes he wasn't gay. But these wishes come from petty reasons. For example, he thinks that if he wasn't gay, it would be easier for him to find someone to fall in love with. This may or may not be true, but as a bisexual myself, I tell him that even when one plays both sides of the fence, that real love is hard to find.

Anyways, I think that's what scares you. You want to get along with everyone, but not everyone understands/accepts or even believes in bisexuality. You want to be "like everyone else," but you can't be.

I don't know if I have this belief because it comforts me, or because I really think it's true, but research backs me up when I say that it's a huge possibility that the majority of the world is bisexual to some extent. So maybe knowing that you're actually in the majority, and being honest about it can help boost your confidence.

Also, perhaps this article will help you out.
posted over a year ago.
 
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really does it matter if you are or not i mean i wouldnt care even tho im straight but i would never make fun of someone for that and you shouldnt care about wat ppl think my mom told me that high skool is really bad but you got to fight threw it and things will get better no one fits in at high skool you just have to deal with that and im sorry it that sounds blunt but its true
posted over a year ago.
 
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K5-HOWL said:
i think you are, i am too but i dont tell people.
posted over a year ago.
 
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When you're a teenager, you shouldn't be trying to figure it out. Actually, you should never try to figure it out, eventually the truth will be clear. But whether you are or not doesn't make a difference, you're still the same old you!

I'm in the same basic boat as you, I'm starting to think I am bi. Although I don't have crushes on other guys and I don't really give man hugs, I feel I'm too straight to be gay, and I think I'm too gay to be straight...

As for being accepting towards gays and bi's, that could ust be that you're a nicer person than most. That's definitely nothing to be afraid of! But if you need to talk about something, I'm here.
posted over a year ago.
last edited over a year ago
 
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big smile
Well maybe you just admire some certain girls.. Like Emily Browning, maybe you just admired her beauty.. Theres nothing wrong for having a celeberty the same gender as your role model.. Im straight, but my friend had the same problem she likes my teacher acually but she didnt know what she was. Plus your young,so you have plenty of time to decide.. If you think your bi, your bi.. Dont be afraid of what people think of you.. Hope this helped..
posted over a year ago.
 
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well it's ok to have a crush on a girl i have one on Selena Gomez
posted over a year ago.
 
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angelic
Well it really dosnt matter if your bi or not. You don't choose to be bi/gay/lesbian/homosexual. It naturally happens. Your not alone lots of other people are having the same problem. A girl once in first grade tried to make me bi by making me kiss her and make out with her but it didn't happen. Stephanie told me the advice of you don't choose to be bi/gay/lesbian/homosexual. Let your heart lead the way to what you are. Your still a teenager finding your way to finding the real you. Like everyone is finding their real selves. All I know is I'm straight.
posted over a year ago.
last edited over a year ago
 
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wink
WOW.... I have a friend..or 2 friends that are bi...when the first one turned it was kind oflike wow then both of my friends start going out. Its weird when there bo-h together but when there seperate there the same people ....most bi, or homo people are the best friends you can have so if your feeling some kind ofnway justgo with it ..........It will be okay
posted over a year ago.
 
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Coolchill said:
NO... Don't be discouraged... Do you actually realise something? Of all the ages you said that you started forming crushes and some sort, you ARE at the age of puberty. So there's nothing to worry about. It happens all because of yr bodily changes and it's normal. The effect of bodily changes varies. So it's perfectly normal. CHEER UP!
posted over a year ago.
 
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smile
Most people your age go through opposite and same-sex crushes. I guess i'm roughly the same age as you, give or take a few years, and i've just gone through a very similar experience. From what I can tell you are probably bi/lesbian. This isn't something to be ashamed of. Even if it later turns out to just be a phase it's still something everyone goes through at your age. If you decide to come out people will most likely be supportive, if not then they are not worth being around. Hang in there. If you need any more advice on the subject feel free to message me at any time.
posted over a year ago.
 
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smile
Allthough i am not bi i think it does not matter if you like a gril it your personality just nos whats right for you Its your live
posted over a year ago.
 
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wink
try kissing a girl and try kissing a boy and see which one you like more.if you like kissing the boy your straight.if you like kissing the girl your lez and if you like both your bi.
hope it helps
posted over a year ago.
 
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zomeister said:
I had the same problem, a few months back, when I started waking up to orgasmic dreams about a really good friend of mine. A girl. It tortured me, knowing that I've kissed girls and that I've liked it. But I thought I liked it because it was fun. But no. I am attracted to girls. Maybe more to boys, but the girls are still in my head.
I thought about it and questioned myself, and only came to one conclusion: who the fuck cares? Seriously, it's okay to be attracted to any sex. I admit I'm bi, because it's amazing. You have twice more options for dating!
Maybe it's just a phase, because maybe sometimes you feel it fading away, but even if it's permanent, it's fine! It's awesome! Just accept yourself the way you are, no matter the changes in your heart.
posted over a year ago.
 
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smile
snapes-lover, it would kinda depend on who the people are and how good kissers they are, no?

But yeah, I'm kinda the same. (this was written 2 years ago, but I'm in 9th grade too) I'm mostly attracted to guys, but some girls are just..... :) IDK. I've never kissed anyone, I want to find out if I like it. Guy or girl.
posted over a year ago.
last edited over a year ago
 
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smile
You know, it really isn't a big deal. Everyone is different and I can see why u r scared. But, really, who the fudge cares?
posted over a year ago.
 
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wink
It's normal to feel like that. Just ignore your fear and get on with life…not saying that in a harsh way but honestly, once you find "the one", you'll have way more confidence. Accepting something about yourself can be really hard but usually if you do accept it, you don't really have to do anything about it.

You know discovering your sexuality is sort of like homework, put it off to the last minute! Lol, seriously though, you don't have to worry about this until you really have fallen in love with someone and even then everything becomes less complicated.

Oh, and don't worry about the hugs, everyone likes hugs right?
posted over a year ago.
 
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laugh
What am I on? 2 months ago…ignore me!
posted over a year ago.
 
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big smile
Well it's normal and I'm bisexual and how did I figure that out?well,I just felt attracted to my opposite and non-opposite sex.so if you feel the same way,go ahead and say that you are bi.no body is going to have a problem with that,they are not gods people,because God made you this way and they are not acceptable.but,anyways you go ahead and do your thing no body is going to stop you from being you.
posted over a year ago.
 
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posted over a year ago.
 
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Pick up a Bible, and read it a while. The answer will come to you.
posted over a year ago.
 
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taini said:
in the end it doesn't matter. you might be or you might not be. it doesn't change who you are. you are still you just...have other likings. im straight but I can tell you right now that if you are bi it doesn't matter. I have a friend that's bi, he went thru what you more or less went thru. going thru that stage doesn't necessarily mean you're bi it just means that you're confused. maybe you just think your gender or other genders look good. doesn't necessarily mean you're bi but so what if you are? people think it is a sin but hey! god created everything in this world. im sure he created this too because he wanted to see how we would react. i'm sorry if you don't belong to a religion like that. if you are bi then embrace it knowing that you will have people that will be by your side. I'm a stranger sure but hey im on your side. if you are straight and this is just a confusing stage for you then hey im still on your side. if you want advice from someone who is bi, gay, lesbian or etc then check out the I think it's the marriage equality group or gay rights. you can talk to some of them on there. they can give you advice. if you don't feel alright with talking to strangers then talk to someone trust worthy. maybe im not the best person to talk to since I never went thru that but know that you have me. I fully support people liking their genders and other genders.
posted 12 months ago.
 
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LGYCE said:
Homosexuality is wrong in many, many ways, and if anyone wants to argue that point with me, I am always up for a good debate. As for your bisexuality, I think that you probably are bisexual, but if the idea of being with another girl scares you, then be with a guy. While I disagree with same-sex relationships, the government doesn't (depending on where you live), so it's really your choice. But men and women are naturally meant to be together, so that would be the best option in my opinion. It is your life however, so do what you want.
posted 8 months ago.
 
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I know this was posted over a year ago, but I'm having the same problem... :/ For basically my whole life I've known I like boys, but I just started high school and I'm starting to question my sexuality. My school has over 2,000 students so there are lots of cute guys and girls everywhere and it's so confusing :( My mom is in a domestic partnership and I live with her and my step mom so I know they would be supportive if I told them, but it still scares me to death for some reason... Like it feels weird to tell my lesbian mom that I might be bi... I think you should see what happens because you're a teenager (like me) and you still need to figure out who you are and stuff... I don't know if anyone will read this cause this post is kind of old, but I just needed to say this to someone even if no one is listening.
posted 7 months ago.
 
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fandomfan said:
I'm having a similar issue. I don't have any particular girl/guy I like, but I cannot figure out if I'm jealous of beautiful girls or if I'm attracted to them. I don't really feel any different about guys or girls... I think I'm asexual/bisexual? When I was little I had crushes on guys, but I didn't actually like any of them, I was just going with the thing where girls like guys so I thought I had to like a guy... then I creeped on all the guys in my grade and realized I was a weirdo lol
posted 4 months ago.