WHY MEN ARE HNEVER DEPPRESED
Men Are Just Happier People --
>What do you expect from such simple creatures?
>Your last name stays put.
>The garage is all yours.
>Wedding plans take care of themselves.
>Chocolate is just another snack.
>You can be President.
>You can never be pregnant.
>You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
>You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
>Car mechanics tell you the truth.
>The world is your urinal.
>You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is
>just
>too icky.

>You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
>Same work, more pay.
>Wrinkles add character.
>Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
>People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
>New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
>One mood all the time.
>Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
>You know stuff about tanks.
>A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
>You can open all your own jars.
>You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
>If someone forgets to invite you,
>He or she can still be your friend.
>Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
>Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..
>You almost never have strap problems in public.
>You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
>Everything on your face stays its original color.
>The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
>You only have to shave your face and neck.
>You can play with toys all your life.
>One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
>You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
>You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
>You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
>You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
>On December 24 in 25 minutes.
>No wonder men are happier.
>Send this to the women who can handle it
>And to the men who will enjoy reading it.

>___________________________________
>Men Are Just Happier People

>NICKNAMES
>· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
>Laura, Kate and Sarah.

>· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each
>other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman .


>EATING OUT
>· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20,
>even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller
>and
>none will actually admit they want change back.

>· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

>MONEY
>· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
>· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on
>sale.


>BATHROOMS
>· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,
>shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

>· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
>A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.


>ARGUMENTS
>· A woman has the last word in any argument.
>· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

>FUTURE
>· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
>· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

>SUCCESS
>· A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

>· A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

>MARRIAGE
>· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
>· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
 

>DRESSING UP
>· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
>trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

>· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

>NATURAL
>· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
>· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

>OFFSPRING
>· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
>dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret
>fears
>and hopes and dreams.

>· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


>THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
>A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
>remembering the same thing!



>SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it
>....
>and to the men who will enjoy reading it.