I will be reviewing and providing commentary using the 30th Anniversary Walt Disney Gold Collection DVD (2001), which features more footage than the VHS and blu-ray releases. Sorry if I lose you for a paragraph or two.
Bedknobs and Broomsticks stars Angela Lansbury as Eglantine Price, a struggling student of witchcraft wanting to use her gift to help in the war; David Tomlinson as Professor Emilius Browne, a scam artist selling fantasies, cheap trinkets, and his winning personality on the street; and Ian Weighill, Cindy O'Callaghan, and Roy Snart as Charles, Carrie and Paul Rawlins, young refugees from London sent to stay with the reluctant Miss Price in her country home.
The film begins with one of those lovely Classic Disney intros featuring some spectacular artwork and an instrumental medley of the songs that will later be performed by the cast. We then enter the small country town of Pepperinge Eye in 1940, during World War II. There's The Old Home Guard, a group of elderly men left behind to protect the town; Mrs. Hobday, the nosy postmistress and chairman of the War Activities Committee; Mr. Jelk, a clergyman/weasel who wants Miss Price's house and land.
Forty-five children have been sent to Pepperinge Eye on the day B&B starts, and there are only three left by the time Miss Price arrives in town - Charles, Carrie and Paul Rawlins. Miss Price and children "do not get on", but as it is her duty to her country, she reluctantly packs the children (and her new broomstick) into her motorcycle's sidecar and accepts them into her home.
Once the children are fed (health food, ugh) and put to bed, Miss Price is able to test out her new broomstick, sent to her by Professor Emilius Browne of London. It's a funny scene with a very uncooperative broom, a lot of hopping around by stunt double, and a very judgemental cat. Miss Price finally manages to take flight, and enjoys herlself for a few minutes... until the crash, which is witnessed by the children, who are in the process of sneaking back to London. Seeing an opportunity, Charles decides to stay and blackmail her. Because what could possibly go wrong with blackmailing a witch, Charles?
Charles attempts a shake-down at breakfast, and dares Miss Price to turn him into a toad. Her spells are wonky, so she turns him into a rabbit instead. Miss Price's cat, Cosmic Creepus, chases him around the house until the spell wears off and the tables turn. Once he's calmed down, they strike a bargain; in exchange for their silence, Miss Price will bewitch a bedknob that will allow them to use a traveling spell.
The creepy clergyman drops by to deliver a letter to Miss Price... and to inspect the sturdiness of her front porch. Hop on your bike like Miss Gulch and be gone, Jelk. Miss Price's letter is from Professor Browne, informing her that her witchcraft course has been cancelled. She pleads with Paul to use the magic bedknob to transport them to London so that she might confront her teacher about the all-important final spell that may be able to end the war.
Miss Price, Carrie, and Paul prepare to travel on the bed, and Charles assumes the role of stick-in-the-mud. He stands to the side and scoffs. While making the bed (you can't go to London on an unmade bed!), Miss Price delivers her first song of the movie, "The Age of Not Believing." The song is mildly depressing, and about losing faith in everything, but ends on a hopeful note.
Miss Price and Paul recite the spell and the bed begins to vibrate. Cosmic Creepus starts closing in on Charles, who jumps on at the last minute to join his siblings and Miss Price on a very flashy and colorful trip across the English sky on a neatly made bed. They land in London and go in search of Professor Browne.
The children find him before Miss Price does, setting up shop on a street corner peddling tricks and charms. He draws quite a crowd with "With a Flair", a song informing everyone that it doesn't matter how full of shit he is, people love him because he has style. (Hate to break it to you, Mr. Browne, but...) The song ends with him screwing up a series of magic tricks - or to use a kinder word, illusions. The unimpressed crowd disperses and he's left with only the children.
Miss Price returns and meets Professor Browne. She's not impressed either. She demands he give her the last lesson from the witchcraft course, and he tries to make a quick exit. Miss Price sics the children on him and turns him into a rabbit with one of his own spells, blowing his mind because they were just nonsense words he pulled out of an old book.
Mr. Browne invites Miss Price to lunch, and he is very surprised to learn that they will all be going there on the bed, using his own traveling spell. The townhouse he takes them to isn't really his, but someone else's vacant house he's been squatting in, thanks to an unexploded bomb nearby.
The children explore the house and find all kinds of treasures in a nursery. Miss Price wants to discuss the spell she needs, but Mr. Browne has other ideas. He wants her to become his assistant, since she can make him look like a star with her powers, bringing us to the song "Eglantine." Miss Price has important work to do and scours the library doing her best to ignore Mr. Browne and his song, which is basically a sales pitch for a magic show he'll take all the credit for. Not gonna happen, loser. Miss Price cuts in on "Eglantine" with "Don't Let Me Down" to inform him that she has no time for his BS, and is dragged around the library in a dance she doesn't want to be dancing. She ends it by turning him into a rabbit again. Serves you right, Mr. Browne!
Mr. Rabbit directs her to the book she's looking for, and she discovers the real reason for the college closing: half of the book is missing. Where could anyone find a thing like half a book? Portobello Road!
The group heads to the street where the riches of ages are stowed. The shoppers and shopkeepers join Mr. Browne and the children in singing "Portobello Road", the liveliest (and longest) song in the movie. On the extended cut, it's 10 minutes of singing, dancing, the children accidentally breaking things, and Miss Price hunting for the other half of The Spells of Astoroth. This is my favorite scene in this movie, and my favorite dance scene in any movie ever.
When the shopkeepers must pack up and go home, Miss Price and Mr. Browne are approached by a shady character who escorts the group to meet The Bookman. The Bookman possesses the other half of The Spells of Astoroth, and they do the reasonable thing: trade halves. The spell they both seek is in neither copy. They discuss the legend of an island full of animals who could talk, created by the sorcerer Astoroth. Paul blurts out that there is such a place, as seen in the book he took from the nursery. Things turn nasty when Paul won't hand over the book, and Miss Price and Co. make a quick exit on the bed, telling it to go to the Island of Naboombu, the place in Paul's book. The bed disappears, and The Bookman and his henchman are left puzzled.
The bed overshoots the landing a little and ends up in an animated lagoon, where they meet a talking fish wearing a suit. The group decides to take their time, enjoy the scenery, and sing a song. "The Beautiful Briny" is the closest thing to a romantic song in the movie. Miss Price and Mr. Browne join the animated fish in a dance competition, winning a trophy. See how much better that dancing thing goes when you're with a willing participant, Mr. Browne?
The bed gets snagged by a fishing hook and dragged to the surface with the children on it, and Miss Price and Mr. Browne hanging on for dear life. The group meets a bear, who tries to throw them back into the lagoon because there is no peopleing allowed on the island. (Like no fishing, get it?) The bear reluctantly takes the group to see the King, who is having a very loud and windy tantrum over a soccer match. The game can't take place because there is no referee, so Mr. Browne volunteers in the hopes of snagging the King's necklace, which holds the spell they've been searching for. You're going to regret it, Mr. Browne.
The soccer match begins, refereed by Mr. Browne. (Or as the English call it, football. It was filmed in Burbank, okay?) There's an interesting assortment of animals playing. It's the yellow team of scary predators, like the lion king (ha), a warthog, a hyena, a rhinoceros, a crocodile, and a gorilla versus the blue team of kinder looking animals, like a kangaroo, an ostrich, a cheetah, a hippo, and an elephant. The medics are two buzzards, who get very excited whenever someone gets hurt, which is pretty often. The King's team plays dirty. There's a bit of recycled animation here, most notably a horn-blowing monkey from The Jungle Book.
Mr. Browne gets trampled many times by the chaos of the game, but the King picks him up and dusts him off. Team King wins, to the surprise of no one. The King and Mr. Browne help each other put on their outerwear after the game, and Mr. Browne snags the necklace containing the spell that the King has been wearing and replaces it with a whistle. The group quickly makes their way to the bed, but once the King notices his necklace is gone, he gives chase. Miss Price turns him into an animated rabbit and they head home.
An excited Miss Price prepares to finally try out the Substitutiary Locomotion spell, only to discover that the necklace has disappeared during their journey from one world to another. Paul claims he knows the words, but is shushed so that Miss Price can concentrate. Mr. Browne and Charles head to Mrs. Hobday's shop to grab dinner.
"Why don't someone ask me?" says Paul, who then rattles off the words of the spell to the amazement of everyone. The words have been in his book the entire time. Mr. Browne and the children provide support in the form of background vocals as Miss Price takes the lead in "Substitutiary Locomotion", a song-slash-spell that gives life to inanimate objects. Mr. Browne's shoes are her first test subject, but the spell gets out of hand and takes over her whole wardrobe.
Mr. Jelk arrives while this is going on, and his hat joins in. He is attacked by Miss Price's nightgown and flees. This is the last we see of him. Byeee.
Mr. Browne attempts to lift everyone's spirits at dinner with a little juggling. He drops an apple and splatters himself with gravy, which was the upper everyone needed after that disastrous Substitutiary Locomotion attempt. Miss Hobday drops by to tell Miss Price that another family is willing to take in the children, but the trio insists that they must stay because Mr. Browne is going to be their father now. This sends him running for the hills, as he is a typical male.
Miss Price cleans up the dinner table and tries to convince herself that she's totally cool with being alone in a short, sad song called "Nobody's Problems".
Miss Price and the children are surprised by a visit from the Nazis while Mr. Browne fantasizes about Miss Price on a bench at the train station. Once he realizes there are Nazis around, he heads back to Miss Price's house, but they are being escorted to a museum where they will be less of a nuisance for the commanding officer. Mr. Browne sneaks in to her workroom, and turns himself into a rabbit to escape.
Mr. Browne, in rabbit form, reunites with Miss Price and the children inside the museum. Charles suggests they use the the armor in the museum to fight the Germans, using the Substitutiary Locomotion spell. Miss Price recites the spell, and all is quiet for a minute... then the drums start pounding and the horns start blowing and the suits of armor draw their swords.
Horseless horsemen and empty suits of armor rise over the hill, stretched as far as the eye can see. Piperless bagpipes start piping. Miss Price appears in the sky, the Union Jack flying proud on the back of her broomstick, commanding the troops. It doesn't get much cooler than this.
The battle begins. Nazi asses kicked by empty suits of armor. The Nazis rain fire into the hunks of metal, who have no problem removing a head or a leg to empty it of wasted bullets. As this is a Disney movie, nobody actually dies, but the armor does lay quite a hilarious ass-kicking on the Nazis.
The Nazis retreat, but not before blowing up Miss Price's house. The explosion knocks her off her broom, ending the spell. All the armor collapses and deflates. The Old Home Guard shows up and fires at the retreating Germans, taking credit for scaring them off. Suuure, old men.
Miss Price announces that her days of being a witch are over, but she's happy to have made a difference. In the final scene, Miss Price's house has been restored, and she and the children wave goodbye to Mr. Browne as he marches off with the Old Home Guard. Charles laments the fun they'll be losing out on now that Mr. Browne is leaving. "Still got this, ain't I?" says Paul, holding up the glowing bedknob.
I really want to say that Bedknobs and Broomsticks has a happy ending. I mean, nobody was seriously maimed or killed, the children have a home and a family, the Nazis have been chased off. But the part of me that always wanted to be a witch is still sad that Miss Price gave up her craft. It was her choice, and she had completed her mission, but it still hurts my inner witch. Mr. Browne has gone off to war. He had a happy sendoff and is proud to go serve his country, but it's still war. Dammit, adulthood, you're ruining everything for me. At least the children are happy. They have a nice home in the country, a very cool guardian, and there's always the bedknob...
Bedknobs and Broomsticks feels like an old movie. Some movies have a timeless feel to them, like they could have been made any time. That's not the case for Bedknobs, but it's not a bad thing. It's set in the 1940s, so you can expect to see those clothes and vehicles. The songs have a classic feel to them, which is why they're still great. This was before Disney tried making their music sound hip and current - like I said, classic. Angela Lansbury, David Tomlinson, and three unknown children gave amazing performances and immortalized one of Disney's best makeshift families.
Where B&B's age really shows is in the special effects. If you look closely, you can see the wires holding up Miss Price on her broom, or in the Beautiful Briny dance scene. These things don't take away from the movie. They add to it. Bedknobs and Broomsticks was made in a time that you couldn't just throw someone in front of a green screen and do everything digitally. Not to knock modern movies, but you can't argue that things are much easier in the industry nowadays. A lot of hard work went into this project, and that's just one of the many things that makes Bedknobs and Broomsticks a classic, and one of Disney's best movies ever.
You'll be witched! You'll be dazzled!
