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posted by isabelle_905
Email.

Girls Don’t Realize These Things

I'm sorry
That I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you.

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk.

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants.

I'm sorry
That I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised.

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy".

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk.

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things.

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club.

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date.

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy.

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend.

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around.

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work.

I'm sorry
That you can't realize... I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care.

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore.

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am.

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared.

I'm sorry
That I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

***********

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there are never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes that mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to. Maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?".
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, post it as: 'I'm sorry'.

If you're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to post this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' I really wish that more guys were like this, and I bet a lot of girls do too.
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added by benji
The real definition of a man is when he can dance to this song!
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A funny commercial that's targeted to men, obviously.
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The Heart Attack Grill serves up artery clogging (but tasty) food served by scantily clad waitresses (known as 'nurses'). Heaven has found a place right here on little 'ol Earth :-)
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Crazy UK show in which dudes attempt daring stunts. In this clip "Neg" plays a game called "Urban Sprinting" in which you attempt to outrun security guards after setting of the store's "inventory control system". Truly manly.
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Video clip of how you can undress in 7 seconds.
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posted by isabelle_905
Another email.

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.




WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured...
continue reading...
posted by isabelle_905
More emails...

Men Are Just Happier People

Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress - $5000. Tux rental...
continue reading...
posted by isabelle_905
From an email I got.

Rules for Men

1) Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.

2) Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

3) Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

4) If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.

5) Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

6) When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event,...
continue reading...
posted by isabelle_905
More lovely emails!! Guys, pay attention!

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This isn’t...
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posted by isabelle_905
I didn't write this. I got it in an email and it made me smile!!
Sorry guys, I just had to post it! :P



The Why's of Men

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)

5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)

6. WHY DID GOD...
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Godzilla demonstrates good parenting.
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