These ladies prove the old adage that behind every great man is a woman a great man can get behind.
You might have noticed over the years that some of America's great Presidents have had seriously homely wives. The Commander-in-Chief of the forces that defeated the Nazis woke up every day next to a Walrus and poor, poor Bill Clintion has endured over 30 years of unspeakable torment. What's the point of being leader of the free world if you can't parlay your vast executive powers into a quality love life? But the historical record shows that some of our greatest leaders managed to succeed both politically and romantically. Not all of our First Ladies were straight-up brown-baggers. Here are ten women hot enough to make a whole generation of young men run for office.
10. Martha Dandridge Custis Washington
First Lady of the United States 1789-1797
Just look at that bodice. This is a woman for whom the term "bodice-ripper" could have been invented. Although George Washington didn't actually chop down her cherry tree (she had four children with her wealthy first husband), the very first
First Lady set the standard for stately grace and beauty when she kept George Washington's morale up all though the Continental Army's hard winter at Valley Forge.
9. Helen Herron Taft
First Lady of the United States 1909-1913
Before he became known to schoolchildren everywhere as the “fat President,” William Howard Taft was Will Taft, a cute young Cincinnati lawyer. When he met Helen Herron at a sledding party, she thought he was adorable and he thought she looked hot and delicious, like a fresh buttered roll. 150 pounds later, he was thanking his lucky stars that he managed to get a ring on this little snow angel's finger before he ballooned to abominable snowman-like proportions, tipping the scales at well over 300 lbs in the middle of his career.
8. Edith Kermit Carow Roosevelt
First Lady of the United States 1901-1908
Many people remember Teddy Roosevelt as a trust buster, a conservationist, and as the man who recognized the long-term strategic importance of the Panama Canal to U.S interests abroad. Fewer people are aware that he practiced jujitsu and regularly skinny-dipped in the Potomac. Even fewer folks—in fact not many at all—have considered that maybe “rough rider” was a personal nickname given to him by his kinky wife.
7. Laura Lane Welch Bush
First Lady of the United States 2000-present
Kind of like how Darth Vader used the awesome power of the dark side to crush the throats of his underlings when they failed him, Laura Bush was able to somehow use the awesome power of her sexual magnetism to transform her husband from an alcoholic coke-head slacker into the President of the United States. She's always seemed kind of prim and stuck-up to me, but this only serves to strengthen my theory: I've only ever seen her with clothes on.
6. Nancy Reagan
First Lady of the United States 1980-1988
If you could have had regular action with this chick back when she was a Smith College coed hungry to travel to the region of desire where pleasure approaches pain or, even better, when she was a rising Hollywood starlet willing to do anything to catch her big break, you would have been doing all right. Bonus: like all wives of conservative republicans, she seems to have had a thing for black dudes.
5. Julia Gardiner Tyler
First Lady of the United States 1884-1885
Born into a wealthy New York family, Julia Tyler became known in society circles as the “Rose of Long Island.” (Back in 1840, this may not even have been intended as a harsh insult). When she married President John Tyler at 24, she was quite a piece of tail, given that she was thirty years his junior. Some people said he was attracted to her beauty and some people said he was attracted to her charm. Still another group of historians holds that it was her “comeback pussy” that President Tyler found so irresistibly enticing and they cite the seven children she bore him as evidence of their claim.
4. Frances Folsom Cleveland
First Lady of the United States 1893-1897
Critics of President Grover Cleveland say that he accomplished very little during his two terms of office and bemoan his lack of imagination in the face of various economic crises. But he did manage to successfully woo a woman 27 years younger than him. At twenty-one, Francis Folsom Cleveland became the youngest First Lady in American history. And let's get real: if you somehow convinced a twenty-one-year-old who looked this hot that she was into you, you too might cut some policy corners around little things strikes and recessions in order to make time for "family matters." One look at Mrs. Cleveland and one begins to understand how affection can turn into romance, romance into gentle kisses, and gentle kisses and delicate petting into hardcore action to the max.
3. Dolley Madison
First Lady of the United States 1801-1809
With blue eyes, fair skin, a passion for snuff, and a predilection for wearing feathered turbans, sassy Dolly Madison would have been a pleasure to bed. Back in 1818 she was wearing dresses that would be considered low-cut today
. Plus, her husband, James Madison, was 5'4” and weighted around 100 pounds. It must have been like sleeping with a Hobbit. Unless he was seriously out of proportion, if you were even a regular-sized guy, she would have thought you were Superman and begged you to “be gentle.”
2. Grace Coolidge
First Lady of the United States 1923-1929
Grace Coolidge was awarded a gold medal from the National Institute of Social Sciences for “fine personal influence exerted as First Lady of the Land.” I give her a gold medal for wearing a fun red slip dress that shows off her figure, holding up the hem so you can see a little leg, and looking like she kind of wants to try anal.
1. Jacqueline Kennedy
First Lady of the United States 1961-1963
She was born into wealth in New York City. As a girl, her hobbies included reading, painting and writing poems. She loved horses. She studied French. She was named "Debutante of the Year" for the 1947–48 season. She attended Vassar and the Sorbonne. Her first job was as the “Inquiring Camera Girl” for a Washington D.C. newspaper. Taken separately, these facts aren't much. Taken all together, they can only mean one thing: pussy that makes a man want to become President.