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Biggerstaff Family Opinion Article

as long as we're saying things...

Opinion by lucius_malloy posted over a year ago
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-yes, this is kinda late-
so I just saw Best's article.
no offence to anyone, but like Boo said, I miss the times when it was only the original family tree, the one in the banner. that was back when we all knew each other from Reasons, and we were all really close -- all, cause there was only like 15 of us. even family tree point two was great -- the one in Best's article, I mean -- cause it had some newbies, and they were the ones we'd already gotten to know. then came the fight with bees and all that other, and before I knew it there was a million and a half of us, which was so never the point of the family. it just kinda goes against the word family. now we're like an extended family -- I know I'm related to everyone, but I barely know them by sight, if that, like I would an estranged second-cousin. and I don't like it.
I can't count the number of times I've said this, but we're a family, not a hospital emergency room. we're supposed to care about each other, but how can I do that when I don't even know half the people? and you can say that "oh, it's okay now, we're gonna stop letting newbies in," but the truth is if we've tried that once, we've tried it a million times, and it never works, cause there are always people who either don't know or don't have the heart to turn away people who come knocking on our door. and so we keep expanding, and the original Biggerstaffs keep feeling more and more left out.

in a way, I think, this might be a sign -- in the very least, it's a small-scale model of life. time passes, families grow and parents are shoved aside in favour of new people, new places, new adventures. but if it is, indeed, a sign, it is in no way a good one; it would be telling us, the excluded, original Biggerstaffs, that maybe it's time we back off and leave the spot to the newbies. in no way do I want to do this, but neither do I want to spend my time on a spot full of people I don't know.
even Reasons isn't a sanctuary like it used to be -- I come back after two weeks and it, too, is full of people I don't know... one of them even told me "welcome." as if I was some kind of newbie. I've been there over a year, for Chrissakes, and two weeks is enough time for the thread to seemingly forget about me entirely.

two weeks is enough time for everyone to seemingly forget about me entirely. when I came back after the two or so weeks, I went through all the wall posts from my abscence -- plenty if new people, but not a single mention of me. I didn't get a single wall post or PM enquiring as to whether I was even alive -- and if this sounds like complaining, it isn't. it's merely stating facts. facts like in her comment on Best's article, Luna said she noticed all the disappearances. then there was a list of names, but guess what? no me.
and okay, maybe when I came back and wall-posted, people said of course I noticed you were gone! noticed, maybe, but did nothing about it. if this is the amount we care about each other... I just don't know any more.

so I guess what I'm saying is Best and Boo, you aren't alone in your feelings of not belonging, or that we have way too many Biggerstaffs. I wish we could go back to the way things were around Christmas.
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103 comments

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Oh Malloy :/ I shouldn't be saying this, becaise I'm no original, but I know how you feel. I miss the times when I was the newest Biggerstaff, because I knew practically EVERYONE, and I was forming better friendships with the ones that I didn't know as well. Now I see a bunch of people I don't know, and don't actually WANT to get to know. I know I'm a terrible peraon because I have no right to be saying all that, but it's just how I feel.
posted over a year ago.
last edited over a year ago
 
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I always forget you aren't an original o_O
posted over a year ago.
 
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NUUU I WANTED TO BE FIRST COMMENT D:< *working on a long one btw*
posted over a year ago.
 
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Aww, I take that as a compliment :D
posted over a year ago.
 
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And I HAVE BEATEN BEST >:D
posted over a year ago.
 
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you should, Tonks<3 and Best, be quickkk :p cause I want (NEED) to see what you haz to say but I also want (NEED) to sleep...
posted over a year ago.
 
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Now I feel bad, cause I wasnt an original, I'm not even in the Family Tree #2, but I've been here for two months. And i DONT want you to leave I dont want anyone to leave. Though I DO miss the time when I was a newbie. the ONLY newbie on here
posted over a year ago.
last edited over a year ago
 
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Luna -- at the risk of souding petty and bitter, you were quick to a) forget me and b) claim yourself the title of biggerstaff family tree updater, which has been mine since before you were here... plus you even complained about it :p not that I mind (much), it's just that almost everyone on here is so damn contradictory sometimes :)
posted over a year ago.
 
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I feel kinda guilty, or even stupid, because I used to watch the Reasons, a lot. Like some sort of stalker, but I never spoke to any of you guys. I watched you grow into a family and I never had the guts to say anything to you guys, and now I don't know where I am. I'm not exactly a newbie, because I've been here awhile, but I'm not an original, which makes me feel even more left out to be honest.

I don't say anything when people leave, because I've done it for a couple of weeks or so, so I keep thinking they're going to come back, but then months go by, and they're still gone. By this time everything is put out of my head, and I think of all the new stuff that's recently happened in my life.

I used to feel right at home, when I first had to guts to actually talk to you guys and ask to join. I thought I might anger you in asking to join, so I just spoke to a few members first, and then asked a couple of weeks later. It used to be that the originals were all closely-knit and awesomely family-like.
Now, it's like a thousand newbies and a couple of originals and semi-originals. :/
When I first saw this spot, it only had about twenty fans. One hundred and twenty fans up and you realise that the family has grown A LOT.

It reminds me of that time I went to some anniversary of a couple on my mum's side, and the place was full of loads of people I didn't know, a few of people I recognized, a couple besides my mum, dad and brother that I knew well, and I was related to all of them, through blood or law, but I was related to them all the same.

So I agree with you, but not being an original I feel like I can't really say much about too many newbies.
posted over a year ago.
 
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First, I think we all need a hug. *hugs*
Okay, now that's out of the way, I'll respond to your article.

1. I like family tree point two (one in article) the best, cause that's when it felt most like a REAL family, almost like my family in rl, but awesomer. I know we're a family, and I know we're supposed to be close, but a REAL family, in real life, is pretty big too. And yes, "not letting newbies in anymore" doesn't work. Cause we just can't turn them down. Which in my opinion makes us very nice people. But that also means our family tree is growing so much it isn't a family anymore, or at least not the kind of family we want it to be. And I think all the originals miss the feeling we used to have...

2. I don't want to leave... This spot and reasons is where we all first became friends. It's, like, monumental. This place is were everything started, and I don't want to leave it. If I leave this place, then really, there's nowhere else I go on Fanpop. Which would defeat the point of staying on this bloody website. :L

3. NO ONE has forgotten about you. You're EMMA FREAKIN' BIGGERSTAFF. You're the bestest mommy in the world. Remember that time reasons was going slow and everyone was saying? "oh, just wait till Malloy comes back, everything will be okay then". And didn't I contact you? :L I sometimes think people are afraid to speak out and say they notice someone missing... Dunno why though. But everyone does care... You're always the one saying "I LOVE YOU GUYS TO BITS AND PIECES AND EVEN SMALLER CRUMBS", remember? ^^ We all love each other. And I've made really good friends with some people who came here but aren't on tree one or two... At least I think they aren't... It's too hard to keep track :S


But I too wish things could go back to that... I used to have the tree memorized. Now, I'm a great great great great aunt? Not sure.
posted over a year ago.
 
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Vamp, I do count you as an original, or at least a semi :) You've been at reasons for a long time...
posted over a year ago.
 
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I feel that I don`t belong. I try and get on here when I can. I created this spot and everytime I come on here I see that its growing to the point were I start to wonder does everyone know everyone else. I feel like noone cares that I am even here. i have a hard time trying to get to know everyone because of ADHD and Aspergers Syndrome. I am getting to the point were I don`t know if I should keep coming on here.
posted over a year ago.
 
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Cissy, what's funny is that while I was writing my comment, I was thinking, "Cissy created this spot, she should get a say in too, but I have no idea where she is :/" and then you commented. :P You definitely should keep coming.
posted over a year ago.
 
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I'm sorry. I just said it because no one else was doing it. If you want to do it again, then go ahead. And I actually DID notice, i just never said anything. you were gone for like more than a week and I was wondering where you had gone. I'm sorry for sounding contradictorial
posted over a year ago.
 
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vamp -- you're on the second tree, you count :) but that anniversary thing? exactly what I'm talking about.

best -- *hugs back* I think we needed that too :p I miss when we all just told each other random stuff about our days and so on, and people actually cared :/ now there's so many of us, people don't know anything about each other, so it makes it hard. remember when we all knew everyone's ages, countries and almost everyone's first names?
2. that's exactly what I've been thinking, but I still don't know what to do... on the one hand, I wouldn't exactly be lonely if I just quit Fanpop altogether... on the other hand, I would, because the original Biggerstaffs, the ones I know well (tonks and vamp, this includes you) are still hella important to me, never mind that I haven't talked to some of them properly in a while.
3. no, to be honest, I don't remember that o_O was it when I was in brazil?
and yeah, I did used to say that... weird, I'd forgotten until you mentioned it. oh, the follies of time...
posted over a year ago.
last edited over a year ago
 
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I have been busy. My dad has stayed with me my mom and my brother. I wanted to spend time with him. I hadn`t seen him for almost three years. That`s why i haven`t been here. My dad just left today, but with school starting up soon I am trying to figure out when I am going to get on. I will try and get on here as much as I can.
posted over a year ago.
 
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cissy -- we're all in the same boat then, aren't we? no one knows who anyone is :(

luna -- we'll see... I was actually thinking we should maybe give up on the whole family tree business, cause there is no way it works out any more :/
posted over a year ago.
 
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This stuff is started to really make things complicated, and it's really depressing to see our family having these problems. We can never get things right; if we don't let any "newbies" in, then we seem mean and...well, that incident a while ago was just that, and that wasn't fun.

On the other hand, all these people are just strangers. I try to be nice to everyone, but it's so hard. I miss when there was hardly over 25 Biggerstaffs, and everyone knew everyone and we were all great friends. We are all still friends, but for some, it's more distance, because of so many people here.

But I don't want to leave. I don't want any Biggerstaffs to leave. You guys were the greatest friends on here, even in my saddest days in my life. I was on the Reasons forum for a while before this spot was created, and now I feel like the Reasons spot has been taking over by strangers, too!

But now I feel like I'm hardly a person on here. I'm not special to anyone, especially not now, because of so many people on here. I won't stop coming, but it's just hard to get on here because of what was so long ago was too special to really forget.
posted over a year ago.
 
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*hugs* I haven't seen my own Mommy in like, a week! Where has she gone? ACCIO ACCIO!
posted over a year ago.
 
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I agree, Dark :(
posted over a year ago.
 
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Mommy -
1. Yes, I remember. It makes it harder to confess anything here, because there are so many people you aren't extremely close to, making it hard to say anything... We used to use the wall almost like Twitter lol, talking about everything that was going on in our lives. But we hardly know anything about anyone now :S
2. What about creating another spot? One for the newbies and one for the originals? I personally hate that idea :/ A family shouldn't be divided like that. Then again a family should know about each other too...
3. Oh >.< It might've been, I'm not sure, but I was complaining about you not being here and then you came and were all "aww, you guys really thought that? thanks, love you too :D" or something XD I have a strange memory. :P You used to say that often when the talk was of leaving, esp when Accio said she wanted to leave :/
posted over a year ago.
 
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Dark, are you sure we're not the same person? o_O
so here's what I was thinking... we should create some place for only the "originals" (I'd say up to Luna or so, cause she has been here for ages) -- if not on Fanpop, then somewhere else (God only knows where). we could recreate the originalish family there and leave this spot to the newbies and only come visit once in a while... kinda like parents do when kids move out :p
are you guys getting me?
posted over a year ago.
 
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Best if you want me to create the one for the newbies I can but if not then ok I hate when a family is divided a family should know each other.
posted over a year ago.
 
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@Malloy-I do get what you are saying. I'd feel bad about the newbies that we would leave them, but isn't that how real families are? Leaving when it's time and coming every once in a while. Well, perhaps you're right and that it is time.
posted over a year ago.
 
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Dark -
Agreed.
1. It's hard being nice when you just want to snap and someone and start crying and yelling how you wish everything could be like it should.
2. I don't want to leave either, I don't think anyone really does. This place is where I made SO MANY of my closest friends. And Reasons, too. That forum is the only reason I joined Fanpop.
3. *hugs hugs hugs* Same...
posted over a year ago.
 
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I agree with you guys...It kinda hurts, but family is FAMILY, not reality TV.
posted over a year ago.
 
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Mommy I don't wanna leave! :(((
posted over a year ago.
 
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maybe Emmy's idea isnt that bad, I mean, if we dont do something, this family is gonna fall apart completely
posted over a year ago.
 
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I remember Best was the first one to talk to me on Reasons :D *hugs*
posted over a year ago.
 
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IzzyOzera said:
I feel bad cause I'm not an original... I'm not entirely sure what family tree I'm on... :'(

The reason I didn't notice Emmy wasn't here was cause I wasn't here either...

Oh and Accio's gone to Haven, I'm not sure if she's still there but the last time I spoke to her she said she was going to go....
posted over a year ago.
 
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kris10853 said:
Okay Ive been kinda watching and reading this quietly but now I wanna say something: Theres gonna be problems if we split into 2 groups. God only knows what willl happen. Id also like to add in that I like talking with people from originals and newbies, s=and thats gonna get much harder if we split up. People are only gonna wanna talk to there group.
posted over a year ago.
 
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Izzy -
You're on tree point two, pretty sure. And I don't really care, we were friends before Biggerstaff Fam started, remember? ^^ *hugs*

I HATED WHEN YOU WERE GONE :((

And Accio what?
posted over a year ago.
last edited over a year ago
 
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IzzyOzera said:
She's gone on holiday to Haven...

I missed you too *hugs*
posted over a year ago.
 
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tonks, I remember when you were still lovemarauders o_O
so, we're doing it? the only question is where, I suppose... we'd never get Gems on FB, so that's out of the question...
posted over a year ago.
 
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kris, all due respect and so on, but I'm pretty sure I have no idea who you are...
posted over a year ago.
 
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Izzy -
Oh, cool, wherever that is... xD *hugs back*

Tonks -
Awesome :D *hugs* I love youuuu ^^

Mommy -
I hate facebook >.<

Kris -
I know what you mean. Two Biggerstaff families makes even the name seem less awesome. And I'm still going to talk to you ^^
posted over a year ago.
 
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kris10853 said:
Malloy: Ive been here for almost 3 months
posted over a year ago.
 
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so that's another problem :l
and I never said we'd leave here for good, just that we could have a place where it's kinda like old times :)
posted over a year ago.
 
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kris, really? cause I left around the end of june and I'm pretty sure I have little or no memory of you...
posted over a year ago.
 
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:O I was getting worries about Mommy <\3 I'm glad you tols us that Izzy :D

Malloy, I still don't know why that accoubt was suspended XD I think it still is...

Where can we gooo? ;(
posted over a year ago.
 
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I don't knowwwwwww
posted over a year ago.
 
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Kris,are you sure? Havent I been here longer than you?
posted over a year ago.
 
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kris10853 said:
Yeah. Youve been longer. But I joined in June sometime.
posted over a year ago.
 
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june? oh so I've been her for 4 months, not two.
posted over a year ago.
 
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Wait, it was longer than four months ago... Nevermind...
posted over a year ago.
 
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Where did my other comment go? xD
posted over a year ago.
 
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must've been just after I left, then... hi, I'm Malloy. nice to meet you?

also, I'm going to bed now for reals :p
posted over a year ago.
 
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crying
I feel like a terrible person, as a newbie, reading this. I've been here for like a month, and it was mostly my fault that the newbies came. I let leak a few Biggerstaff comments on other spots, and suddenly, more newer newbies came. :/ And you're right, it was probably a lot better back when there were only a few people. :(
So, I do apologize. I was like, oldish-newish newbie #2 or something. But with all due respect toward my children/Kris's children, I never should've shown you this spot. I'm really sorry. *tear*
posted over a year ago.
 
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@malloy-Alright-y, then. Night! I have no idea how we're gonna settle this, but we'll try.
posted over a year ago.
last edited over a year ago
 
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kris10853 said:
Malloy: Nice to meet you too? But I think we've talked at least once before.
posted over a year ago.