I love OTH, don't get me wrong, but here are just a few of the false conclusions I would have fallen victim to if I wasn't such a rational, mature, worldly young woman.lol This is just for fun,I mean no offense to anyone you watches the show religiously, for I at one time did. I'm picking fun at the misguided notions that OTH portrays as the facts of life...Tree Hill Style. Hope you enjoy!
1. There must be no optometrists in Tree Hill. Lucas Eugene Scott clearly needs eyeglasses. He spends approximately 90% of the show with his eyes squinted up straining to see. The simple solution to this would be to go to an eye doctor and get glasses or contacts! But that just wouldn’t be as “sexy” I suppose and wouldn’t have given him that uncanny Broody look! Therefore, we are stuck watching him as pitiful as it is. Note to CMM: the only time your Mr. Broody look is appropriate is when you are having unscripted eye sex with Ms. Cheery. Otherwise you just look like a half blind, possibly constipated, tool bag!
2. Falling down a flight of stairs is a plausible defense and excuse for why a young woman is battered and bruised on every inch of their body. This is also apparently a solid tight justification for why you have a black eye, or 2, because staircases have been known to throw a few good punches here and there if you piss em off enough. But, just to be safe, it would be a good idea to try it first on your love stricken, blind, best friend before you attempt this degree of deception.
3. Birth control options must be illegal or not available in Tree Hill. Case and point…The SCOTT families! I don’t know how many of you realize how unlikely it would be for Haley or Peyton or Brooke, or hell Karen and Deb for that matter, ALL to get pregnant or have these pregnancy scares all the time if they just walked into their gyno and demanded some form of contraceptive! Nearly impossible and here I’m thinking that if you sit on a toilet seat in TH you get pregnant!
4. Dan passed on a genetic mutation of super sperm to Lucas. This is another ill-conceived notion I’ve concocted to justify why at any given moment a certain Scott is impregnating the Tree Hill ladies. You would think, given their history, the new generation would be a little more careful with their peckers, but the recent abomination, the Leyton bastard child proved that suspicion wrong! Maybe you just have to watch out for toilet seats in which Lucas has used?
5. Condoms, if used, must be magically defective. I mean do they have a special condom plant in TH that manufactures condoms that allow ONLY sperm to pass through, by the touch of a button or something? Because, unlike with pregnancy, in which the unintended outcome can only occur during certain portion of the menstrual cycle, disease transmission can occur during each and every act of intercourse for all persons. Then take into consideration that a single sperm has a diameter of 3 microns, yet STD-causing organisms are much smaller--from 1/4 to 1/70 the size of sperm. Meaning it would be physically impossible for sperm, and not other organism to pass through. So with the amount of rampant sex shown in S1, and the apparent heightened pregnancy stats in TH, how the F has no one gotten an STD? Sure, it’s probably not the most appealing a subject matter but heck at least have some real life probability. What will young people think? That you can have as much sex as you want, and even though you may have an over abundant amount of pregnancy scares, nothing will materialize until you are in a serious relationship, and STDs, well that doesn’t happen in TH soooooo? lol
6. Tree Hill must have the lowest “cost of living” of any American city. Why? Well…for one thing, Naley lived alone in a pretty nice apt in high school on minimum wage! Fast-forward…Naley, having had a baby in HS; now live in a VERY nice home, for a while on a teacher’s salary! Sure we can assume that the Scott fortune is some how helping, but come on gimme a break! Poor Jamie ain’t gonna have NO money for college at this rate! lol Not to mention those young people I just talked about probably think not only will they never get an STD, but if they do get knocked up things will be just peachy keen and they’ll live happily ever after...in a million dollar home! Oops, that’s not how it really goes down now is it!
7. It is acceptable if not encouraged to have slept with every one of the opposite sexes in your intimate group of friends. Again, what is television assuming? That its normal for groups of friends to just pass around their significant others, or better its to be expected for ones boyfriend to experiment sexually with your closest friends, maybe even a sister. I mean this sick twisted love heptagon orgy notion that seems to be the standard procedure for OTH is ludicrous and delusional. I don’t know about you but my friends don’t act like that! Plus, what happened to the “girl code”? lol Gosh that’s a knee slapper, “girl code”….riiiiight!
8. Talent and occupational dreams naturally fall into place before you are 22 years old. Now seriously, how unrealistic is this show. By the time most 22 year olds are just graduating from college, these 5 were running multi billion dollar corps, having manuscripts published, going on music tours, having major artists record with them for their own record company, and playing in the NBA. Granted that last one is now D-league, but we were made to believe w/o the accident he would have been drafted first round. Insanity I tell you! I’ve seen bball players who would rape Nathan Scott, as delish as he undoubtedly is in action, on the court, who wouldn’t have a chance in hell at playing professionally. If I was 14 when I watched this show I might be in LA working at McDonalds right now, instead of in graduate school, because I thought that my dream of styling the celebs was an inevitable reality!
9. When in love, or when you just feel like it…PROPOSE…vehemently! Okay seriously I give Naley this one. BC while unconventional at best, with that proposal we saw a beautiful love story continue to emerge, and gained a family. And in all actuality it wasn’t a proposal, more an elopement. Now Lucas Scott, on the other hand, is a proposing gigolo. Episode 6.15 provided the last bit of ammunition of this tirade, as he proposed to Peyton for the 4th time. Need I remind you that he is currently ONLY 22, maybe 23 at the oldest, and that he proposed the first time at freakin 19? Or how bout that time when he proposed to Lindsey after making out with his ex GF? Oh wait…what about the knowledge that he proposed the 2nd time to Peyton out of the blue (after he told her he hated her for ruining his life or more plausibly ruing his life and would have been marriage with Lindsey) over a cell phone message? I mean I could go on but I think you get the picture. I’d suggest putting as much weight behind a Lucas Scott proposal as you would behind a Dan Scott apology. They are both FULL OF SHIT!