for hannah, ask and you shall receive. this chapter i wrote with the song 'angels on the moon' on my mind, for me that song represents Keith perfectly.
… Four months ago…
You never quite expect it no matter how much warning you get, the shock hits you, the disbelief. For a split second you think it's impossible, that there must be some mistake. And then it flows through you, the sad acceptance that it is in fact real and tomorrow you'll wake up again and forget for a second until it rushes back. It will happen more than once, sometimes you'll remember half way through a thought or sentence and you stop and have to come to grips with it all over again. Grief is a never-ending circle. A darkness always there at the edge of your vision.
The thing that happens is you never get use to it; perhaps that is why it always hits so hard no matter how you pretend it doesn't.
They want you to have optimism, hope… they want you to believe you won't be next but each time someone else goes you wonder. Will it be me? Will it be my friend? You look at all the faces around you,...