Buffy the Vampire Slayer Best quotes

amazondebs posted on Dec 05, 2007 at 01:31AM
i love how witty Buffy is, i think my fave quotes are
"The world is doomed" (last line of the first episode)
"The world is most definitely doomed" (before the battle of chosen the last episode)
what are yours?
last edited on Dec 12, 2007 at 06:21PM

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over a year ago Joker said…
Xander: Well, it was dark! And the thing went through the window so quick, and I was a... little shocked when I saw it, and...
Cordelia: Go ahead. Say it. You ran like a woman.
Xander: Hey, if you saw this thing, you'd run like a woman, too.

Couple of minutes later...

Xander: What about me? What can I do?
Cordelia: Well, you could go out to the parking lot and practice running like a man.
over a year ago amazondebs said…
xander- Xander: Angel, Angel, Angel. Does every conversation we have have to come around to that freak? (turns to see Angel) Hey man, how ya doin'?
Xander- he's our friend except that i don't like him
over a year ago Joker said…
Xander - "They really are very good."

Oz - "Their spelling has improved."

Xander - "You know Oz, I look at all this beauty, and these health young women and I wonder why I ever wasted my time on Cordelia. I mean, look at her....she's no better looking than the rest of them."

Oz - "None of them are really my..."

Xander - "Oh my god!! He's looking at her! He's got his filthy, adult, pierce-brosny eyes all over my Cordy!"

Oz - "You're a very complex man, aren't you?"
over a year ago SpikeLuve said…
Okay some of my favorites have already been mentioned but I can come up with a few more.

Tara: Don't hurt the horseys!
Buffy: Don't worry, we won't hurt the horseys. (Turne's to Giles) Aim for the horseys.

Spike: I don't fancy sticking my head in that.
Buffy: But if something bites it off, that'd be a clue.

Dawn: I feel safe with you.
Spike: Take that back!

Spike: Never much for small talk, were you? Always too busy trying to perfect that brooding block-of-wood mystique. God I love that.
Angel: Not as much as I loved your nonstop yammering.
Spike: The way you always had to be the big swingy, swaggerin' around barkin' orders...

I loved whenever Angelus (my favorite character next to Spike) talked but for some reason I can't think of any of his really good ones. Anyone help me out?
over a year ago amazondebs said…
i know it's kind of dark but i like

angelus:they didn't even have chainsaws then

and from when he first turns

Angelus: Well, he moves to New York and tries to fulfill that Broadway dream. It's tough sledding, but one day he's working in the chorus when the big star twists her ankle.
Spike: You don't give up, do you?
Angelus: As long as there's injustice in the world, as long as scum like you is walking... well, rolling the streets... I'll be around. Look over your shoulder. I'll be there.
over a year ago SpikeLuve said…
Oh yeah!!! They're awesome ones!!! Another one I like these from "Soulless" Angel Season 4:

Angelus: Angelus: [to Connor] And now my boy's in love, all hearts and flowers. But, doesn't it freak you out that she used to change your diapers? I mean, when you think about it, the first woman you boned is the closest thing you've ever had to a mother. Doin' your mom and tryin' to kill your dad. Hmm, there should be a play.

(I hate Connor that's why I chose that one hehehe)

Angelus: How did you survive this long, being so retarded?

Angelus: Try playing up the awe and the reverence a bit. The *great* Angelus.
Lilah Morgan: Great, being locked in a cage.
Angelus: Yet managing to display better grooming habits than you. Look at yourself, Lilah. Hmm? All these years wanting to meet me. Couldn't run a comb through your hair? Maybe slap on a little lipstick? Evil doesn't have to mean sloppy.

Angelus: What happened to pedestrians, huh? Human pedestrians? Is there no fast food left in Los Angeles?

Aww Angelus. Okay I have to go watch Angel lol I'll be back with bigger and better quotes! lol

over a year ago amazondebs said…
i just love anything in season 2 where he's mocking spike in his wheelchair!
over a year ago SpikeLuve said…
Aww my poor Spike. lol that's okay he can take it
over a year ago nosemuffin said…
From the Replacement when they're about to merge the two parts of Xander:

Giles, "He's clearly a bad influence on himself".
last edited over a year ago
over a year ago amazondebs said…
season three
giles mocking joyce in a high pitched voice- "oh look at my mask isn't pretty, it raises the dead"
over a year ago redsoxdax said…
I loved the whole exchange between Buffy and Angel at the start of chosen, i loved the jealousy:

Buffy: It's different. He's different. He has a soul now... What?
Angel: That's great! Everyone's got a soul now.
Buffy: He'll make a difference.
Angel: You know, I started it. The whole having-a-soul. Before it was... all the cool new thing.
Buffy: Oh my god, are you twelve?
Angel: I'm getting the brush-off for Captain Peroxide. It doesn't necessarily bring out the champion in me.

Buffy: OK, I'm cookie dough. I'm not done baking. I'm not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I'm gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day I turn around and realize I'm ready. I'm cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat m-... or enjoy warm, delicious cookie me, then, that's fine. That'll be then. When I'm done.
Angel: Any thoughts on who might enjoy... do I have to go with the cookie analogy?

Willow: This goes beyond anything I've ever done. It's a total loss of control, and not in a nice, wholesome, my girlfriend has a pierced tongue kind of way.

Three minutes later...

Dawn: Oh! [nods] Pierced tongue.

Kennedy: Bite me.
Willow: I will.

Robin: That's exactly what The First does. Finds your Achilles' heel.
Faith: Nah, it just talked to me. What? It does a heel thing, too?

Buffy: So lemme get this straight. I'm really back in school because the school board overruled you. Wow. That's like having your whole ability to do this job called into question, when you think about it.
Joyce: I think what my daughter's trying to say is... nyah, nyah-nyah, nyah nyah!

Willow: Have you ever noticed, though, when he is mad, but he's too English to say anything, he makes that weird cluck-cluck sound with his tongue?
[Giles suddenly rises up from behind the counter and looks at them.]
Buffy: Hi, Giles! [raises her eyebrows at Willow and smiles]
Willow: [turns to face him] Oh, hi! Been there long?

Later on...

Willow: Are you mad at me?
Giles: No, of course not, no. If I were, I would be making a strange clucking sound with my tongue.

Gwendolyn: Faith, do you know who the Spartans were?
Faith: Wild stab, a bunch of guys from Spart?

Angel: I'm sorry. I know I have no right to ask you for anything.
Giles: <chuckles mirthlessly> Sorry. Coming from you that phrase strikes me as rather funny
Angel: I need your help.
Giles: And the funny just keeps coming.
over a year ago redsoxdax said…
Joyce: So, Angel's on top again?
Buffy: What?
Joyce: (holding up Christmas decorations) Angel? Or star?
Buffy: Oh. Er, star.

Giles: They're confiscating my books.
Buffy: Giles, we need those books.
Giles: Believe me, I tried to tell that to the nice man with the big gun.

Faith: She got me really wound up. A fight like that and, no kill. I'm about ready to pop!
Xander: Really? Pop?!
Faith: You up for it?
Xander: Oh, I'm up. I'm suddenly very up. It's just, um, I've never been up with people before.


Faith: New watcher?
Buffy & Giles: New watcher.
Faith: Screw that! [walks out]
Buffy: Now why didn't I just say that?

Wesley: Remember the three key words for any Slayer: preparation, preparation, preparation.
Buffy: That's one word three times.

Buffy: Giles, planning on jumping in with an explanation any time soon?
Giles: Well, uh, something... something, um, very strange is happening.
Xander: Can you believe the Watcher's Council let this guy go?

Buffy: You had sex with Giles? You had sex with Giles?!
Joyce: It was the candy! We were teenagers!
Buffy: On the hood of a police car?!
Joyce: [goes to leave, glances back] I'll be downstairs. [exits] You feel better!
Buffy: Twice!?

Giles: I'm glad to see you've recovered from your psychic encounter more or less intact. Feel up to some training?
Buffy: Sure. We can work out after school. You know, if you're not too busy having sex with my mother!
[Giles walks right into a tree.]

[Buffy and Angel bump into each other at the butchers.]
Angel: What are you doing here?
Buffy: Hello to you, too.
Angel: Sorry, I'm just... surprised.
Buffy: Me too, I don't know why though. Where did I think you get your blood? McPlasma's?

[Willow advises Riley about catching Buffy's eye.]
Willow: Then talk. Keep eye contact. Funny is good, but don't be glib. And remember, if you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Have fun.

Buffy: I told you. I-I said "end of the world", and you're like "poo-poo, southern California, poo-poo"!
Giles: I'm so very sorry. My contrition completely dwarfs the impending apocalypse.

Giles: How did you know it was me?
Buffy: Only you can look that annoyed with me, Giles

Xander: Am I right, Giles?
Giles: I'm almost certain you're not, but to be fair, I wasn't listening.

Willow: I wish Buffy was here.
Buffy: I'm here.
Willow: I wish I had a million dollars... Just checking.

Giles: And you're certain she was a robot?
Buffy: Absolutely.
Tara: She practically had "genuine moulded plastic" stamped on her ass... Just trying a little spicy talk.

Tara: Everyone, before we jump all over her, people do strange things when someone they love dies. When I lost my mother, I did some pretty dumb stuff like lying to my family and staying out all night.
Anya: Buffy's boinking Spike.
[Willow and Tara are left speechless for a moment.]
Willow: Oh. Tara's right. Grief can be powerful, and we shouldn't judge—
Tara: What are you, kidding? She's nuts!
over a year ago x-missmckena-x said…
i know its kinda morbid but i love the whole of Anglus's speech at the beginning and end of passion it really makes that episode stand out, and makes it one of the best throughout the whole of ther seris!

"Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping ... waiting ... and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir ... open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us ... guides us. Passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love ... the clarity of hatred ... the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd be truly dead."
over a year ago tisha said…
season 1 Teacher's Pet

Cordelia: I don't know what to say, it was really, I mean, one minute you're in your normal life, and then who's in the fridge? It really gets to you, a thing like that. It was... let's just say I haven't been able to eat a thing since yesterday. I think I lost, like, seven and a half ounces? Way swifter than that so-called diet that quack put me on. Oh, I'm not saying that we should kill a teacher every day just so I can lose weight, I'm just saying when tragedy strikes, we have to look on the bright side. You know? Like, how even used Mercedes still have leather seats!
over a year ago tisha said…
season 1 Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

Owen: What, she doesn't like to dance?

XANDER: Well, it's a little too late to do anything about that. Uh, you should probably know that Buffy doesn't like to be kissed. Actually she doesn't like to be touched.

WILLOW: Xander...

XANDER: As a matter of fact, don't even look at her.

over a year ago tisha said…
season 1 I Robot, You Jane

JENNY: You're here again? Kids really dig the library, don't cha?

BUFFY: We're literary!

XANDER: To read makes our speaking English good.
over a year ago tisha said…
season 1 Prophecy Girl

ANGEL: This way. (looks at Xander) What?

XANDER: You were looking at my neck.

ANGEL: What?

XANDER: You were checking out my neck! I saw that!

ANGEL: No, I wasn't!

XANDER: Just keep your distance, pal.

ANGEL: I wasn't looking at your neck!

XANDER: I told you to eat before we left.

over a year ago tisha said…
season 2 Reptile Boy

XANDER: So, Cor, you printing up business cards with your pager number and hours of operation, or just going with a halter top tonight?
over a year ago tisha said…
season 2 Surprise:

GILES: Seems Buffy needed some rest.

ANGEL: Yeah. She hasn't been sleeping well. Tossing and turning. (everyone looks at him) She told me.... Because of her dreams?

over a year ago angelishot said…
Season 3

Wesley comes up behind her.

Wes: You haven't an enormous amount of time.

Xander: Hey it's Mr. States-the-Obvious.

Buffy: (without turning around) The council is not welcome here. I have
no time for orders. If I need someone to scream like a woman I'll give you
a call.

Wesley comes to stand next to her.

Wes: I'm not here for the council. Just tell me how I can help.

Buffy looks up at him.

Cordelia: That is so classy! (looks around at the others) Isn't he just so

Buffy: It's a start.

Wesley: So there is something I can do? Besides scream like a woman.
last edited over a year ago
over a year ago H2o_James said…
my fav quoste has to be probably
"the hardest thing in life is living in it" buffy i forgot wat episode its in but i love it
over a year ago brosis101 said…
I love the way buffy speaks. One of the most favourite things she says would have to be "Bite me".
When oz goes "i sound pretty sure dont i" in graduation part 2

But spike is the most amusing out of all of them when he says the words like bolics, bloody hell, pet.
Let me refrase i just love his english accent.
over a year ago 0oSquirto0 said…
Here are some of my favourites :D

Spike: Awww, poor Watcher. Did your life flash before your eyes? Cup of tea, cup of tea, almost-got-shagged, cup of tea?

Buffy: This is Andrew, he's our hostage.

Andrew: I prefer guestage.

I also love the end of 'Teacher's Pet' but I can't remember exactly how it goes but somethhing like this:

Xander: I can't believe I fell in love with a Praying-mantus!
Buffy: Hey, the only guy I've had the hots for is a vampire!
Willow: Yeah and mine turned out to be a demon!
Buffy: Lets just face it, we'll never have happy normal relatinships
Xander: Were doomed!
Everyone: huh.....
over a year ago claire-aka-bob said…
Xander: Cordy you should go with Giles
Giles: Why do i have to have... good thinking, i could do with help researching...
Cordy: lets go, tact guy! ♥
over a year ago OTHisWicked said…
when she was bad (season 2).

note being read:

"come to the bronze alone or we make her a meal"

Xander: theyre gunna cook her dinner? ill pretend i didnt say that"

when she was bad (season 2)

giles: well ill consult my books.

Xander: ohhh give it up, i called 10 before youd consult your books about something.

hard school (season 2)

Spike: i find one of your friends first im a suck em dry, then use their bones to bash your head in.

whats my line part 2 (season2)

Xander: i am the bug man coo-coo-cachoo