Buffy the Vampire Slayer Best quotes

amazondebs posted on Dec 05, 2007 at 01:31AM
i love how witty Buffy is, i think my fave quotes are
"The world is doomed" (last line of the first episode)
"The world is most definitely doomed" (before the battle of chosen the last episode)
what are yours?
last edited on Dec 12, 2007 at 06:21PM

Buffy the Vampire Slayer 123 replies

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over a year ago ztara said…
"Its like theres a party in my eye socket and everyones invited!...i shouldn't be able to say words"- Xander
over a year ago amazondebs said…
that one makes me think of
"it's like theres a meat party in my mouth. Wow i'm young and even i know how wrong that sounds"-Dawn
last edited over a year ago
over a year ago ztara said…
do you have a musket? that man has a musket!-Buffy
you made a bear! undo it! undo it!-spike
over a year ago amazondebs said…
Xander:(imitates Dracula's accent) where'd you get that accent, Sesame Street? Vone, two, three — three victims. Mwah, ha, ha, ha!
FanFic_Girl_26 commented…
Yeah, I remember that one. Xander must've remembered Count Von Count from Sesame Street, too. :) over a year ago
over a year ago Joker said…
There's loads...

Can't remember the ep, think it may be Surprise:

"Have I ever told you about the one where I take Buffy out for prime rib...and she cries!?" - Xander

Doppelgangland (when Buffy, Giles and Xander think Willow is dead):

Giles - "She was the best of all of us."
Xander - "Way better than me."
Giles - "Much, much better."

Season 5, the ep escapes me.

Buffy - "What are you doing here, 5 words or less?"

Spike - "Out for a walk...bitch."

Giles and Oz have all the best lines but for some reason every one that I know makes me laugh I can't think of right now...except this one from Living Conditions:

Buffy: "...so then Kathy's like, 'It's share time.' And I'm like, 'Oh yeah? Share this!'"
Oz: "So, either you hit her, or you did your wacky mime routine for her."
Buffy: "Well, I didn't do either, actually. But she deserves it, don't you think?"
Oz: "Nobody deserves a mime, Buffy."
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over a year ago amazondebs said…
i love the mime one my fave oz quotes is

Cordelia: i don't think there can be a crazier plan
oz: we attack the mayor with humus

i also love spike mini speech afterwards to Buffy where at the end he says "and you've got stupid hair too"
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over a year ago Joker said…
Couldn't have a quotes list without a Xander/Cordy exchange, from Innocence:

Cordelia: "This is great. There's an unkillable demon in town, Angel's joined his team, the Slayer is a basket case... I'd say we've hit bottom."
Xander: "I have a plan."
Cordelia: "Oh, no, here's a lower place."

Yoko Factor (Purely for the way Giles says this)

Xander: "No! It was bad before that! Since you two went off to college and forgot about me! Just
left me in the basement to-- Tara's yourgirlfriend?"
Giles: "Bloody hell!"


over a year ago amazondebs said…
anya: i want the dress... What? everyone was thinking it
Giles: i wasn't... i have it in blue
over a year ago ztara said…
in once more with feeling theres a good one

(in song)
spike -first ill save here then i'll kill her
willow (looking puzzled)- i think this lines mostly filler

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over a year ago amazondebs said…
spike: (reading from coat jacket) made with care for randy. RANDY! RANDY GILES? why not just call me horny giles or desperate for a shag giles i knew there was a reason i hated you!"
over a year ago ztara said…
"your not too old to put over my knee you know" -Giles
(in reponce to spike in Tabula Rosa)
over a year ago amazondebs said…
Spike: You Englishmen are always so...Bloody hell! Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks, oh God! I'm English!
GILES: Welcome to the nancy tribe.
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over a year ago ztara said…
After Riley pulls Giles out of the lair of the three sisters

Giles: oh! i left my shoe, silly me i'll just pop back and...
Riley: Ohno! no more chick pit for you!
over a year ago amazondebs said…
dawn:found it, i think it pronounced m'fshnik like mmmm cookies

Xander: or maybe muh'fashnik like muh'fashnik
over a year ago ztara said…
hey everybody its Giles!...with a chainsaw!-Xander

dont't taunt the fear deamon-Giles
why can it hurt me?-Xander
no, its just tacky- Giles
over a year ago amazondebs said…
Giles-Oh, bloody hell, the inscription!
Buffy-What’s the matter?
Giles-I should have translated the Gaelic inscription under the illustration of Gachnar
Buffy-What’s it say?
Giles-Actual size
over a year ago Joker said…
The Puppet Show:

Snyder: Kids today need discipline. That's an unpopular word these days, 'discipline'. I know Principal Flutie would have said, 'Kids need understanding. Kids are human beings.' That's the kind of woolly-headed, liberal thinking that leads to being eaten.

Lie To Me:

Willow: That's Angel.
Xander: He's Buffy's beau. Her special friend.
Ford: He's not in school, right? He looks older than her.
Xander: You're not wrong.

Buffy: This is Ford. We went to school together in L.A.
Angel: Nice to meet you.
Ford: Whoa! Cold hands!
Xander: You're not wrong.

over a year ago amazondebs said…
i love the ending of lie to me!

Buffy: "Does it ever get easy?"
Giles: "You mean life?"
Buffy: "Yeah. Does it get easy?"
Giles: "What do you want me to say?"
Buffy: "Lie to me."
Giles: "Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after."
Buffy: "Liar."
over a year ago em_em said…
I think that Spike and Willows quotes might generally be my favorite, but I love them all!

Spike: I love syphilis more than you.

Willow: A doodle. I do doodle. You too. You do doodle, too.

Spike: It's a big rock. I can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a rock this big.

Cordy has some good ones too.

Cordelia: What's going on? Oh, God. Is the world ending? I have to research a paper on Bosnia for tomorrow, but if the world's ending, I'm not gonna bother.

Oh and I love this bit and the excitement he gets from the thought of what he could do.

Angelus: I wanna torture you. I used to love it, and it's been such a long time. I mean, the last time I tortured someone, they didn't even *have* chainsaws.
over a year ago amazondebs said…
buffy- spike have you completley lost your mind?
spike-well yes! where have you been all night

Xander- Well, give him a break, Buffy. Maybe it's a vicious skin-eating rock cliff.
spike- There's a cave in it. I'm insane. What's his excuse?
over a year ago Cinders said…
Some of mine, both from Season Two:

Snyder: There're some things I can just smell. It's like a sixth sense.
Giles: No, actually that would be one of the five.
(When She Was Bad)

Oz, eating animal crackers: Oh, look! Monkey! And he has a little hat. And little pants.
Willow: Yeah, I see!
Oz: The monkey's the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know that?-- You have the sweetest smile I've ever seen. (Willow is surprised, Oz breezes past it)-- So, I'm wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sorta ripped? Like, is the hippo going, "Hey, man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity!" And you know the monkey's just, (French accent) "I mock you with my monkey pants!" And there's a big coup in the zoo.
Willow: The monkey is French?
Oz: All monkeys are French. You didn't know that?
(What's My Line Pt. 2)

And then, in "Surprise" (in Buffy's dream)

Willow: (about the organ grinder's monkey sitting next to her) L'hippo a pique' ses pantalons.
(Which means the hippo stole his pants) ;o)
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over a year ago amazondebs said…
love the translation! didn't know that


Anya: What a day. Gimme a beer.
Bartender: I.D.
Anya:I'm eleven hundred and twenty years old! Just gimme a frickin' beer!
Bartender: I.D.
Anya:Gimme a Coke.
over a year ago Joker said…
Surprise

Oz: I'm gonna ask you to go out with me tomorrow night. And I'm kinda nervous about it, actually. It's interesting.
Willow: Oh. Well, if it helps at all, I'm gonna say yes.
Oz: Yeah, it helps. It-it creates a comfort zone. Do you wanna go out with me tomorrow night?
Willow: Oh! I can't!
Oz: Well, see, I like that you're unpredictable.
Willow: Oh, it's just it's Buffy's birthday, and we're throwing her a surprise party.
Oz: It's okay.
Willow: But you could come. If you want to.
Oz: Well, I don't wanna crash.
Willow: No, it's fine! Well, you could be m... my date.
Oz: All right. I'm in.
Willow: ...I said 'date'.

Xander: Buffy, I feel a pre-birthday spanking coming on.
Jenny: I'd curb that impulse if I were you, Xander.
Xander: Check, cancel spanking.

over a year ago shelbz_101 said…
a few of my fav funny buffy quotes are

"You're a vampire. Oh, I'm sorry. Was that an offensive term? Should I say undead American?"-said by buffy to angel


Buffy:"My Spidey sense is tingling."
Giles:"Your...Spidey Sense?"
Buffy:"Pop Culture references... Sorry."
-from episode I robot...you jane

Giles:"Why should someone want to harm Cordelia?"
Willow:"Maybe because they met her? Did I say that?" -Episode The witch

Willow:" It's horrible. That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil and skanky. And I think I'm kind of gay." -from episode Dopplegangland (season 3)

Xander:" Hello, excuse me, but have you ever heard of knocking."
Jonathan:" We're supposed to get some books...on Stalin."
Xander:" Does this look like a Barnes & Noble?"
Giles:" This is a school library, Xander."
Xander:" Since when." - from episode passion










over a year ago x-missmckena-x said…
All of Whats my Line parts 1 and 2 is just pure genius heres a few of the goodens but i cunt fit the whole episode on, most of them are xander cordy lines there first kiss, so funny!

Willow: Don't worry, Buffy, we'll save Angel.
Kendra: Angel? But our priority is to stop Drusilla!
Xander: Angel's our friend! Except I don't like him.

Giles: There are forty-three churches in Sunnydale? That seems a little excessive.
Willow: It's the extra evil vibe from the Hellmouth. Makes people pray harder.

Willow: There's a Slayer handbook?
Buffy: Wait. Handbook? What handbook? How come I don't have a handbook?
Willow: Is there a T-shirt, too? 'Cause that would be cool...

Cordelia: Oh, here I am. 'Personal shopper or motivational speaker.' Neato!
Xander: Motivational speaker? On what? Ten ways to a more annoying you?

Snyder: It's worth nothing, Harris. Whatever comes out of your mouth is a meaningless waste of breath. An airborne toxic event.
Xander: Well, I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to be so honest with me. And I can only hope that one day I'm in the position to be that honest with you.

Buffy: You don't have to whisper. Mom's in L.A. till Thursday. Art buying or something .
Angel: Then, why'd you come in through the window?
Buffy: .... Habit.

Giles: You're behaving remarkably immaturely .
Buffy: You know why? I am immature. I'm a teen. I have yet to mature

Cordelia: What am I, mass transportation?
Xander: That's what a lot of the guys say, but it's just locker- room talk, I wouldn't pay it any mind .
Cordelia: Oh, great, so now I'm your taxi and your punching bag .
Xander: I like to think of you more as my witless foil, but have it your way

Cordelia: He looked normal!
Xander: What, is he supposed to have an arrow with the word 'assassin' over his head?

Xander: Oh, here we go. I am the bug man, coo-coo ka-choo

Xander: Okay, he can only be killed when he's in his disassembled state. Disassembled. That means when he's broken down into his little buggy parts.
Cordelia: I know what it means, dork head.
Xander: Dork head? You slash me with your words!
over a year ago Joker said…
Xander: Well, it was dark! And the thing went through the window so quick, and I was a... little shocked when I saw it, and...
Cordelia: Go ahead. Say it. You ran like a woman.
Xander: Hey, if you saw this thing, you'd run like a woman, too.

Couple of minutes later...

Xander: What about me? What can I do?
Cordelia: Well, you could go out to the parking lot and practice running like a man.
over a year ago amazondebs said…
xander- Xander: Angel, Angel, Angel. Does every conversation we have have to come around to that freak? (turns to see Angel) Hey man, how ya doin'?
Xander- he's our friend except that i don't like him
over a year ago Joker said…
Xander - "They really are very good."

Oz - "Their spelling has improved."

Xander - "You know Oz, I look at all this beauty, and these health young women and I wonder why I ever wasted my time on Cordelia. I mean, look at her....she's no better looking than the rest of them."

Oz - "None of them are really my..."

Xander - "Oh my god!! He's looking at her! He's got his filthy, adult, pierce-brosny eyes all over my Cordy!"

Oz - "You're a very complex man, aren't you?"
over a year ago SpikeLuve said…
Okay some of my favorites have already been mentioned but I can come up with a few more.

Tara: Don't hurt the horseys!
Buffy: Don't worry, we won't hurt the horseys. (Turne's to Giles) Aim for the horseys.

Spike: I don't fancy sticking my head in that.
Buffy: But if something bites it off, that'd be a clue.

Dawn: I feel safe with you.
Spike: Take that back!

Spike: Never much for small talk, were you? Always too busy trying to perfect that brooding block-of-wood mystique. God I love that.
Angel: Not as much as I loved your nonstop yammering.
Spike: The way you always had to be the big swingy, swaggerin' around barkin' orders...

I loved whenever Angelus (my favorite character next to Spike) talked but for some reason I can't think of any of his really good ones. Anyone help me out?
over a year ago amazondebs said…
i know it's kind of dark but i like

angelus:they didn't even have chainsaws then

and from when he first turns

Angelus: Well, he moves to New York and tries to fulfill that Broadway dream. It's tough sledding, but one day he's working in the chorus when the big star twists her ankle.
Spike: You don't give up, do you?
Angelus: As long as there's injustice in the world, as long as scum like you is walking... well, rolling the streets... I'll be around. Look over your shoulder. I'll be there.
over a year ago SpikeLuve said…
Oh yeah!!! They're awesome ones!!! Another one I like these from "Soulless" Angel Season 4:

Angelus: Angelus: [to Connor] And now my boy's in love, all hearts and flowers. But, doesn't it freak you out that she used to change your diapers? I mean, when you think about it, the first woman you boned is the closest thing you've ever had to a mother. Doin' your mom and tryin' to kill your dad. Hmm, there should be a play.

(I hate Connor that's why I chose that one hehehe)

Angelus: How did you survive this long, being so retarded?

Angelus: Try playing up the awe and the reverence a bit. The *great* Angelus.
Lilah Morgan: Great, being locked in a cage.
Angelus: Yet managing to display better grooming habits than you. Look at yourself, Lilah. Hmm? All these years wanting to meet me. Couldn't run a comb through your hair? Maybe slap on a little lipstick? Evil doesn't have to mean sloppy.

Angelus: What happened to pedestrians, huh? Human pedestrians? Is there no fast food left in Los Angeles?


Aww Angelus. Okay I have to go watch Angel lol I'll be back with bigger and better quotes! lol

over a year ago amazondebs said…
i just love anything in season 2 where he's mocking spike in his wheelchair!
over a year ago SpikeLuve said…
Aww my poor Spike. lol that's okay he can take it
over a year ago nosemuffin said…
From the Replacement when they're about to merge the two parts of Xander:

Giles, "He's clearly a bad influence on himself".
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over a year ago amazondebs said…
season three
giles mocking joyce in a high pitched voice- "oh look at my mask isn't pretty, it raises the dead"
over a year ago redsoxdax said…
I loved the whole exchange between Buffy and Angel at the start of chosen, i loved the jealousy:

Buffy: It's different. He's different. He has a soul now... What?
Angel: That's great! Everyone's got a soul now.
Buffy: He'll make a difference.
Angel: You know, I started it. The whole having-a-soul. Before it was... all the cool new thing.
Buffy: Oh my god, are you twelve?
Angel: I'm getting the brush-off for Captain Peroxide. It doesn't necessarily bring out the champion in me.

Buffy: OK, I'm cookie dough. I'm not done baking. I'm not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I'm gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day I turn around and realize I'm ready. I'm cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat m-... or enjoy warm, delicious cookie me, then, that's fine. That'll be then. When I'm done.
Angel: Any thoughts on who might enjoy... do I have to go with the cookie analogy?

Willow: This goes beyond anything I've ever done. It's a total loss of control, and not in a nice, wholesome, my girlfriend has a pierced tongue kind of way.

Three minutes later...

Dawn: Oh! [nods] Pierced tongue.

Kennedy: Bite me.
Willow: I will.

Robin: That's exactly what The First does. Finds your Achilles' heel.
Faith: Nah, it just talked to me. What? It does a heel thing, too?

Buffy: So lemme get this straight. I'm really back in school because the school board overruled you. Wow. That's like having your whole ability to do this job called into question, when you think about it.
Joyce: I think what my daughter's trying to say is... nyah, nyah-nyah, nyah nyah!

Willow: Have you ever noticed, though, when he is mad, but he's too English to say anything, he makes that weird cluck-cluck sound with his tongue?
[Giles suddenly rises up from behind the counter and looks at them.]
Buffy: Hi, Giles! [raises her eyebrows at Willow and smiles]
Willow: [turns to face him] Oh, hi! Been there long?

Later on...

Willow: Are you mad at me?
Giles: No, of course not, no. If I were, I would be making a strange clucking sound with my tongue.


Gwendolyn: Faith, do you know who the Spartans were?
Faith: Wild stab, a bunch of guys from Spart?


Angel: I'm sorry. I know I have no right to ask you for anything.
Giles: <chuckles mirthlessly> Sorry. Coming from you that phrase strikes me as rather funny
Angel: I need your help.
Giles: And the funny just keeps coming.
over a year ago redsoxdax said…
Joyce: So, Angel's on top again?
Buffy: What?
Joyce: (holding up Christmas decorations) Angel? Or star?
Buffy: Oh. Er, star.

Giles: They're confiscating my books.
Buffy: Giles, we need those books.
Giles: Believe me, I tried to tell that to the nice man with the big gun.

Faith: She got me really wound up. A fight like that and, no kill. I'm about ready to pop!
Xander: Really? Pop?!
Faith: You up for it?
Xander: Oh, I'm up. I'm suddenly very up. It's just, um, I've never been up with people before.

-----------------------------------------­---­---­---­---­---­---­---­---­---­---­---­---­---­

Faith: New watcher?
Buffy & Giles: New watcher.
Faith: Screw that! [walks out]
Buffy: Now why didn't I just say that?

Wesley: Remember the three key words for any Slayer: preparation, preparation, preparation.
Buffy: That's one word three times.

Buffy: Giles, planning on jumping in with an explanation any time soon?
Giles: Well, uh, something... something, um, very strange is happening.
Xander: Can you believe the Watcher's Council let this guy go?

Buffy: You had sex with Giles? You had sex with Giles?!
Joyce: It was the candy! We were teenagers!
Buffy: On the hood of a police car?!
Joyce: [goes to leave, glances back] I'll be downstairs. [exits] You feel better!
Buffy: Twice!?

Giles: I'm glad to see you've recovered from your psychic encounter more or less intact. Feel up to some training?
Buffy: Sure. We can work out after school. You know, if you're not too busy having sex with my mother!
[Giles walks right into a tree.]

[Buffy and Angel bump into each other at the butchers.]
Angel: What are you doing here?
Buffy: Hello to you, too.
Angel: Sorry, I'm just... surprised.
Buffy: Me too, I don't know why though. Where did I think you get your blood? McPlasma's?

[Willow advises Riley about catching Buffy's eye.]
Willow: Then talk. Keep eye contact. Funny is good, but don't be glib. And remember, if you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Have fun.

Buffy: I told you. I-I said "end of the world", and you're like "poo-poo, southern California, poo-poo"!
Giles: I'm so very sorry. My contrition completely dwarfs the impending apocalypse.

Giles: How did you know it was me?
Buffy: Only you can look that annoyed with me, Giles

Xander: Am I right, Giles?
Giles: I'm almost certain you're not, but to be fair, I wasn't listening.

Willow: I wish Buffy was here.
Buffy: I'm here.
Willow: I wish I had a million dollars... Just checking.

Giles: And you're certain she was a robot?
Buffy: Absolutely.
Tara: She practically had "genuine moulded plastic" stamped on her ass... Just trying a little spicy talk.

Tara: Everyone, before we jump all over her, people do strange things when someone they love dies. When I lost my mother, I did some pretty dumb stuff like lying to my family and staying out all night.
Anya: Buffy's boinking Spike.
[Willow and Tara are left speechless for a moment.]
Willow: Oh. Tara's right. Grief can be powerful, and we shouldn't judge—
Tara: What are you, kidding? She's nuts!
over a year ago x-missmckena-x said…
i know its kinda morbid but i love the whole of Anglus's speech at the beginning and end of passion it really makes that episode stand out, and makes it one of the best throughout the whole of ther seris!

"Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping ... waiting ... and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir ... open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us ... guides us. Passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love ... the clarity of hatred ... the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd be truly dead."
over a year ago tisha said…
season 1 Teacher's Pet

Cordelia: I don't know what to say, it was really, I mean, one minute you're in your normal life, and then who's in the fridge? It really gets to you, a thing like that. It was... let's just say I haven't been able to eat a thing since yesterday. I think I lost, like, seven and a half ounces? Way swifter than that so-called diet that quack put me on. Oh, I'm not saying that we should kill a teacher every day just so I can lose weight, I'm just saying when tragedy strikes, we have to look on the bright side. You know? Like, how even used Mercedes still have leather seats!
over a year ago tisha said…
season 1 Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

Owen: What, she doesn't like to dance?

XANDER: Well, it's a little too late to do anything about that. Uh, you should probably know that Buffy doesn't like to be kissed. Actually she doesn't like to be touched.

WILLOW: Xander...

XANDER: As a matter of fact, don't even look at her.

over a year ago tisha said…
season 1 I Robot, You Jane

JENNY: You're here again? Kids really dig the library, don't cha?

BUFFY: We're literary!

XANDER: To read makes our speaking English good.
over a year ago tisha said…
season 1 Prophecy Girl

ANGEL: This way. (looks at Xander) What?

XANDER: You were looking at my neck.

ANGEL: What?

XANDER: You were checking out my neck! I saw that!

ANGEL: No, I wasn't!

XANDER: Just keep your distance, pal.

ANGEL: I wasn't looking at your neck!

XANDER: I told you to eat before we left.

over a year ago tisha said…
season 2 Reptile Boy

XANDER: So, Cor, you printing up business cards with your pager number and hours of operation, or just going with a halter top tonight?
over a year ago tisha said…
season 2 Surprise:

GILES: Seems Buffy needed some rest.

ANGEL: Yeah. She hasn't been sleeping well. Tossing and turning. (everyone looks at him) She told me.... Because of her dreams?

over a year ago angelishot said…
Season 3

Wesley comes up behind her.

Wes: You haven't an enormous amount of time.

Xander: Hey it's Mr. States-the-Obvious.

Buffy: (without turning around) The council is not welcome here. I have
no time for orders. If I need someone to scream like a woman I'll give you
a call.

Wesley comes to stand next to her.

Wes: I'm not here for the council. Just tell me how I can help.

Buffy looks up at him.

Cordelia: That is so classy! (looks around at the others) Isn't he just so
classy?

Buffy: It's a start.

Wesley: So there is something I can do? Besides scream like a woman.
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over a year ago H2o_James said…
my fav quoste has to be probably
"the hardest thing in life is living in it" buffy i forgot wat episode its in but i love it
over a year ago brosis101 said…
I love the way buffy speaks. One of the most favourite things she says would have to be "Bite me".
When oz goes "i sound pretty sure dont i" in graduation part 2

But spike is the most amusing out of all of them when he says the words like bolics, bloody hell, pet.
Let me refrase i just love his english accent.
over a year ago 0oSquirto0 said…
Here are some of my favourites :D

Spike: Awww, poor Watcher. Did your life flash before your eyes? Cup of tea, cup of tea, almost-got-shagged, cup of tea?

Buffy: This is Andrew, he's our hostage.

Andrew: I prefer guestage.


I also love the end of 'Teacher's Pet' but I can't remember exactly how it goes but somethhing like this:

Xander: I can't believe I fell in love with a Praying-mantus!
Buffy: Hey, the only guy I've had the hots for is a vampire!
Willow: Yeah and mine turned out to be a demon!
Buffy: Lets just face it, we'll never have happy normal relatinships
Xander: Were doomed!
Everyone: huh.....
over a year ago claire-aka-bob said…
laugh
Xander: Cordy you should go with Giles
Giles: Why do i have to have... good thinking, i could do with help researching...
Cordy: lets go, tact guy! ♥
over a year ago OTHisWicked said…
when she was bad (season 2).

note being read:

"come to the bronze alone or we make her a meal"

Xander: theyre gunna cook her dinner? ill pretend i didnt say that"


when she was bad (season 2)


giles: well ill consult my books.

Xander: ohhh give it up, i called 10 before youd consult your books about something.

hard school (season 2)

Spike: i find one of your friends first im a suck em dry, then use their bones to bash your head in.

whats my line part 2 (season2)

Xander: i am the bug man coo-coo-cachoo

over a year ago OTHisWicked said…
H2o_James

"the hardest thin #g in life is to live in it" is actually from two episodes"

buffy- the gift - season 5
dawn - season 6
over a year ago destuctogirl said…
So many to choose from, I think every epidode has a worthy quote, but this one always cracks me up by Spike cant remember the episode of the top of my head

out for a walk bitch, while he is counting off his fingers.

Love it
over a year ago MagicalRose said…
cool
Buffy: Do you wanna hang? We're cafeteria-bound.

Willow: (jumpy) I-I-I'm gonna do work in the computer lab on school
work that I have, so I cannot hang just now. Hi, Ford.

Ford: Morning.

Buffy: Okay, Will, fess up.

Willow: What?

Buffy: Are you drinking coffee again? 'Cause we've talked about this.

laughs out loud

Willow: It makes me jumpy. I have to go. Away. (hurries off)

Snyder: Somebody's got to keep an eye on them. They're just a bunch of
hormonal time bombs. (takes two steps away from Giles) Every time a
pretty girl walks by every boy turns into a gibbering fool.

Giles spots Jenny coming towards them.

Giles: Ms. Calendar!

Jenny: Mr. Giles!

Giles: Well, I, uh, um... Hello!

Snyder: You see the way these kids gaze at each other... all moony.

Jenny: It's good to see you.

Giles: Yes.

Snyder: You think they're thinking about learning?

Giles: Uh, were you headed to the, uh, faculty room?

Jenny: Sounds like fun!

They head off to the faculty room leaving Snyder behind.

Snyder: I try and tell 'em about the important things in life.
Discipline, responsibility, punctuality. Might as well be talking to
myself.

Written by: Joss Whedon
Directed by: Joss Whedon
Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson

TRANSCRIPT PROVIDED BY TWIZ TV.COM
Copyright (c) 1997 Alexander Thompson

~~~~~~~~~~ Disclaimer ~~~~~~~~~~

I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to
the television show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". They were created by
Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui
Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Television Network.

This is not a novelization or a script. It is a straightforward and dry
transcript of the episode "When She Was Bad". It also includes
descriptions of the settings, action scenes and camera movements where I
felt they were needed.

I made every effort to accurately transcribe the dialogue from this
episode. If you notice anything that is transcribed incorrectly, please
let me know and I will post an update. rev 98.09.28

This episode was originally broadcast on September 15, 1997.

~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~

In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against
the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.

The cemetery. The camera pans across it and over to the sidewalk along
the border. Willow and Xander are on their way home. Xander has an ice
cream cone and takes an occasional lick.

Willow: Okay, um...

Xander: It's your turn.

Willow: I, alright, okay, uh... 'In the few hours that we had together,
we loved a lifetime's worth.'

Xander: Terminator.

Willow: Good! Great.

Xander: Um, oh, okay, I got one. (imitating Charlton Heston) 'It's a
madhouse! A mad...'

Willow: (interrupts) Planet of the Apes.

Xander: Can I finish, please?

Willow: Oh! Sorry, go ahead.

Xander: '...house!' (indicates she may answer)

Willow: Planet of the Apes. Okay, good. Me. Uh...

Xander: Well?

Willow: I'm thinking. 'Use the Force, Luke.'

Xander: Do I even have to dignify that with a guess?

Willow: I couldn't think of anything. It's a dumb game anyway.

Xander: Well, what else do you wanna do? We already played rock, paper,
scissors. My hands cramped up.

Willow: Well, yes, if you're always scissors of course your tendons are
gonna strain...

Xander: (interrupts) Y'know, I just gotta say that this has been the
most boring summer ever.

Willow: Yeah, but on the plus side no monsters or stuff.

She steps over to the wall and hops up to sit on it.

Xander: I'm just so restless! I'm actually looking forward to school
startin' up again.

Willow: Yeah, and that wouldn't have anything to do with a certain girl
we both know who is a Vampire Slayer?

Xander: Please, I'm so over her. Did she, uh, mention when she might be
gettin' back? About which I do not care.

Willow: I haven't heard from her. I got a couple postcards when she
went to L.A., but then, like, nothing.

Xander: Well, she's probably with her dad having a good time.

Willow: And you don't care?

Xander: Well, okay, there might be some interest. I'm a man. I have
certain desires, certain needs...

Willow: Uhhh! I don't wanna know.

Xander: I got a movie for ya! (taps her nose with his ice cream)

Willow: (surprised) Xander!

Xander: You're Amish! You can't fight back... 'cause you're Amish! I
mock you with my ice cream cone, Amish guy!

Willow: Witness. (pouty) My nose is cold.

Xander: Let me get that for ya. (leans in to lick off her nose)

Willow: Xander! (stops him)

Xander: I'm sorry, I can't help myself. Your nose looks so tasty.

He reaches up with his napkin and gently wipes off her nose. He takes
much longer than he needs to and looks into her eyes. He brushes his
hand against her cheek. After another moment he starts to move in for a
kiss. She responds in kind and tilts her head. They stop just short of
making contact and linger there a moment. Xander finally begins to pull
back, and when he does he sees a vampire standing on the other side of
the wall. Willow notices his glance and looks, too. She screams and
jumps off of the wall as Xander pulls her away from the vampire.

Xander: Willow, go!

He puts himself between her and the vampire. She doesn't go, but watches
as he punches the vampire in the face. The vampire isn't fazed. He grabs
Xander and tries to bite. Xander struggles with him to keep from being
bitten. After a few moments of wrestling a hand grabs the vampire by the
shoulder and pulls him off of Xander. It's a girl, and she punches the
vampire in the face, knees him in the crotch and flips him over onto his
back. She turns to Willow and Xander.

Buffy: Hi, guys!

The vampire gets up. Buffy turns her attention back to him and kicks him
in the chest, sending him flying into a tree, where he gets impaled on a
dead branch and bursts into ashes. She turns back to Willow and Xander.

Buffy: Miss me?

Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays.

~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~

On the sidewalk.

Willow: Buffy!

Xander: Hey! (hugs her)

Buffy: Hey. Hey, Will! (hugs her)

Xander: (hugs Buffy again) Man, your timing really doesn't suck.
(laughs)

Willow: When'd you get back?

Buffy: Uh, just now. Dad drove me down. And I figured you two losers
would be getting into some kind of trouble.

Willow: I think we had the upper hand. I-in a subtle way.

Buffy: Does either of you even have a cross? Very sloppy.

Xander: Well, it's been a slow summer. I mean, that's the first vampire
we've seen since you killed the Master.

Buffy: It's like they knew I was coming back.

They start to walk.

Xander: So, what about you? How was your summer? Did you slay anything?

Buffy: No. Uh, just hung out, partied some, shopping was also a major
theme.

Xander: Well, you haven't lost your touch. That vampire...

Buffy: I did kinda whale on him, didn't I?

Xander: (notices) I like your hair.

Buffy: (giggles) So, how did you guys fare? Did you have any fun
without me?

Xander: No.

Willow: Yes!

Xander: Uh, our summer was kinda yawnworthy. Our biggest excitement was
burying the Master.

They stop walking.

Willow: That's right, you missed it. (points) Right out by that tree.
(Buffy looks) Giles buried the bones and we poured holy water and we got
to wear robes.

Xander: Very intense. You shoulda been.

Willow: Have you seen Giles?

Buffy: Why would I do that? I'll see him at school.

Xander: Man, I'm really glad you're back.

Buffy: (looks at the tree again) Me, too.

Cut to Buffy's room. Her dad is helping her mom unpack her things. Joyce
opens a suitcase and looks through it.

Hank: Okay, then. This is the last of it. (puts another suitcase on the
bed)

Joyce: More clothes?

Hank: Oh, do shoes count as clothes?

Joyce: How much shopping did you let her do?

Hank: Oh, I just thought I was saving you from the big back-to-school
clothing nightmare. (unzips the suitcase)

Joyce: My nightmares of Buffy in school have nothing to do with
clothes. Did she manage to stay out of trouble in L.A.?

Hank: She did, yeah. She was, um... you know, great.

Joyce: But?

Hank: She was just, I don't know, um... distant. Not brooding or
sulking, just... there was no connection. The more time we spent
together, the more I felt like she was nowhere to be seen.

Joyce: Hence the shoes?

Hank: (hands her the shoes) I may have overcompensated a little bit.

Joyce: Hmm.

Hank: It's so strange. You know, at least when she was burning stuff
down I knew what to say.

Joyce: Well, welcome to my world. I haven't been able to get through to
her for so long. I'll just be happy if she makes it through the school
year.

Cut to Sunnydale High.

Cordelia: It was a nightmare, a total nightmare.

Cut to her and two friends coming down some stairs and walking across
the quad.

Cordelia: I mean, they promised me they'd take me to St. Croix, and
then they just decide to go to Tuscany. (exhales) Art and buildings? I
was totally beachless for a month and a half. No one has suffered like I
have. Of course I think that that kind of adversity builds character.
Well, then I thought, I already have a lot of character. Is it possible
to have too much character?

Snyder: The first day back. It always gets me.

Giles: Yes.

Cut to the two of them walking along the colonnade.

Snyder: I mean, it's incredible. One day the campus is completely bare.
Empty. The next, there are children everywhere. Like locusts. Crawling
around, mindlessly bent on feeding and mating. Destroying everything in
sight in their relentless, pointless desire to exist.

They stop. Snyder looks around, observing the students.

Giles: I do enjoy these pep talks. Have you ever considered, given your
abhorrence of children, school's principal was not, perhaps, your true
vocation?


Buffy:  Do you wanna hang? We're cafeteria-bound.

Willow:  (jumpy) I-I-I'm gonna do work in the co
over a year ago lollygagging said…
Chosen (Season 7, Episode 22)

SPIKE: Most people don't use their tongues to say hello. Or I guess they do, but—
The Killer in Me (Season 7, Episode 13)
BUFFY: BUFFY
No, no, Finn is his last name. Y12eah. Well, did he used to work there and then he got transferred? Oh, is this actually a flower shop, or is this one of those things where I'm supposed to play along to show that I know it's really secret ops? Oh, maybe I shouldn't have said that. Oh, OK, right. Well, if some guy named Finn shows up to buy flowers— Yeah. Thanks. Wrong number. Or a giant government conspiracy, one or the— Spike?

---

(Later)

SOLDIER: Miss Summers. Agent Finn reported that you tried to contact him earlier today.

BUFFY: I knew it! Government conspiracy.

Tabula Rasa (Season 6, Episode 8)

SPIKE: I must be a noble vampire. A good guy. On a mission of redemption. I help the hopeless. I'm a vampire with a soul.

BUFFY: A vampire with a soul? Oh my god, how lame is that?

The Gift (Season 5, Episode 22)

TARA: Willow ... I got so lost.

WILLOW: I found you ... I will always find you. (SO SAD)

Restless (Season 4, Episode 22)

BUFFY: Ah... Well, at least you all didn't dream about that guy
with the cheese.

Graduation Day, Part 2 (Season 3, Episode 22)

CORDELIA: No! No, we'll get a box with the Ebola virus and… and…. Or it doesn't even have to be real, we can just get a box that says Ebola on it and… uhm chase him… with the box…

XANDER: I'm starting to lean towards the humus offensive.

Becoming, Part 2 (Season 2, Episode 22)

GILES: In order... to be worthy...

ANGELUS: Yeah?

GILES: You must perform the ritual... in a tutu.

Innocence (Season 2, Episode 14)

CORDELIA: Well, does looking at guns make you wanna have sex?

XANDER: I'm seventeen. Looking at linoleum makes me wanna have sex.

Bad Eggs (Season 2, Episode 12)

XANDER: Apparently Buffy has decided the problem with the English
language is all those pesky words. You... Angel... big... smoochies?


There are more, but those are the ones no one had mentioned yet.
over a year ago SanciaaaXD said…
The episode Touched?(i think) :

Spike to buffy:
You listen to me. I've been alive a bit longer than you. And dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine. And done things I prefer you didn't. Don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood, which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain. So I make a lot of mistakes. A lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred-plus years. And there's only one thing I've ever been sure of. You. Hey, look at me. I'm not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it's not because I want you. Or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are. What you do. How you try. I've seen your kindness, and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand, with perfect clarity, exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy.

I love most of spikes quotes :) They are so funny :) That speech to buffy was very moving tough :)
over a year ago vampirerose1718 said…
"Season 2 Halloween
Buffy: Angel's a vampire. I thought you knew
Cordelia: Oh, he's a vampire! Of course! But the cuddly kind, like a Care Bear with fangs.

Season 2 What's my line Part 2
"You can attack me, you can send assassins after me, that's fine. But nobody messes with my boyfriend." - Buffy

Season 3 Lover's walk
You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight and you'll shag and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood. Blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it"-Spike

Season 1 or 2 I can't remember the episode
The gang has just turned round and Angel has just vanished.
"That's it. I'm putting a collar with a little bell on that guy" -Xander

Season 3 The Prom
Anya: I have witnessed a millennium of treachery and oppression from the males of the species, and I have nothing but contempt for the whole libidinous lot of them.
Xander: Then why are you talking to me?
Anya: [sighs] I don't have a date for the prom.
Xander: Well, gosh, I wonder why not? It couldn't possibly have anything to do with your sales pitch.
Anya: Men are evil. Will you go with me?

Season 2 Bewitched,Bothered, & Bewildered
Cordelia: You're a sheep. All you ever do is what everyone else does just so you can say you did it first. And here I am, scrambling for your approval, when I'm way cooler than you are 'cause I'm not a sheep. I do what I wanna do, and I wear what I wanna wear. And you know what? [Xander smiles] I'll date whoever the hell I wanna date. No matter how lame he is. [Xander stops smiling]






over a year ago TwerdAlways said…
heart
Xander- I don't know what everyone's talking about that outfit doesn't make you look like a hooker.

Jenny- Okay the first thing we're gunna do is (turns around and sees buffy) Oh buffy
Xander- Am i asleep already?
over a year ago jamboni said…
big smile
"Seize the moment, 'cause tomorrow you might be dead." -Buffy (Welcome to the Hellmouth)
Not sure why, I just love that one... along with many others but they've been mentioned already
over a year ago smms said…
This is from the episode Choices.

Buffy: But you I can't believe you got into Oxford!
Willow: It's pretty exciting.
Oz: There's some deep academia there.
Buffy: That's where they make Gileses!
Willow: I know. I could learn, and have scones.
over a year ago luckygirl21 said…
These are some of mine if you haven't noticed i love angel hes my favorite.



All right, a regular kid and her cradle-robbing, creature-of-the-night boyfriend." -- Buffy
"You know, Buffy, Spring Fling just isn't any dance. It's a time for students to choose, um, a mate. And then we can observe their mating rituals, and tag them before they migrate... just kill me!" -- Xander

It is kind of novel how he'll stay young and handsome forever, although you'll still get wrinkly and die... and oh, what about the children? I'll be quiet now." -- Willow
"That the Slayer?"
"Yep."
"Ain't that Angelus with her?"
"Yep."
"Well, how come she ain't slayin'? And how come he's about to make me blush?" -- Tector and Lyle

"I guess I need help."
"Help? You mean like on homework? No, 'cause you're old, and you already know stuff." -- Angel and Willow

"Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with Dead Boy on this one."
"Could you not call me that?" -- Xander and Angel

"You were my sire, man! You were my... Yoda." -- Spike


"Oh, he's a _vampire_. Of course! But the cuddly kind. Like a care bear, with fangs." -- Cordelia

My diary? You read my diary? That is not okay! A diary is like a person's most private place! You don't even know what I was writing about!'Hunk'can mean a lot of things, bad things. And, and when it says that your eyes are'penetrating', I meant to write'bulging'. And'A'doesn't even stand for'Angel'for that matter, it stands for...'Achmed', a charming foreign exchange student, so that whole fantasy part has nothing to even do with you at all..."Buffy
"I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you."Buffy

"This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you...you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after" Angel

"I love you. I try not to, but I can't stop" Angel


"I don't know nearly enough about this to risk you wearing it. Besides, you got that real cool ax-thing going for you" Angel

She did it! I'll be damned! Angel

BUFFY
Who are you?
ANGEL
Let’s just say I’m a friend.

BUFFY
(exasperated)
Well, maybe I don’t want a friend.

ANGEL
I didn’t say I was yours…




over a year ago thebench18 said…
ANYA: [to a customer who just finished her purchase] "Please go."
XANDER: "Anya, the Shopkeepers Union of America called. They want me to tell you that, 'Please go' just got replaced with, 'Have a nice day.'"
ANYA: "But I have their money. Who cares what kind of day they have?"

BUFFYBOT: [to Willow] "You're recently gay."

WILLOW: "Okay, yeah, you've been with a vampire before, but Angel had a soul."
BUFFYBOT: "Angel's lame. His hair grows straight up, and he's bloody stupid."

SPIKE: [from 'Once More, With Feeling'] "I hope she fries, I'm free if that bitch dies! ...I better help her out."

WILLOW: [to Xander, after he said something to make Angel leave] "See? You made him do that thing where he's gone!"

HARMONY: "Is Antonio Banderas a vampire?"
SPIKE: "No."
HARMONY: "...Can I make him a vampire?"
SPIKE: "No. Wait, on second thought, yeah. Go do that. Take your time. Do Melanie and the kids, as well."
last edited over a year ago
over a year ago indigo_ozz said…
Season 2 Phases
Larry: So, Oz, man, what's up with that? Dating a junior? Uh, let me guess. That little innocent schoolgirl thing is just, uh, just an act, right?
Oz: Yeah. Yeah, she's actually an evil mastermind. It's fun.

Season 3 Band Candy
Snyder: Whoa, Summers! You drive like a spaz!



Season 4 Doomed
Spike: I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy? Is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her! She is the Chosen One, after all. Come one, vampires, rrrr, nasty! Let's annihilate them. For justice, and for... the safety of puppies, and Christmas, right? Let's fight that evil! Let's kill something! Oh, come on!




over a year ago JaneDoe23 said…
My all time fave is from Season 4 "Something Blue" when Spike and Buffy are under Willow's Will-It-So Spell and they get engaged. At the end Buffy tries to get Spike to shut up by being rude and he yells, "I wasn't the one that wanted Wind Beneath my Wings for the first dance!"
Buffy: That was the spell!

over a year ago spikelover150 said…
i dont know this word for word but it goes something like this
"YOu know whenever Giles asked me to do something he always said please and then i got a cookie afterward."-Buffy to Wes
over a year ago bbgirl77 said…
my fav is when spike is like, "Out for a walk, bitch." haha he uses his five words
over a year ago colouredhazel said…
'Out.For.A.Walk...Bitch' haha Lights up my day :)
over a year ago MariksxKitten said…
Favorite quote ever is from Spike and it's actually a wordless quote. It's from the silent episode "Hush" and it's when Spike and Xander are arguing, and then Spike holds up two fingers. I always assumed he was saying something like "sod off" but it had became part of my ritual movements since when I want to tell someone off but not say anything.
over a year ago thevampslayer said…
laugh
(Upon seeing the new menu at the Bronze)
Spike (to Buffy)-"Awwh man! They got rid of the flower onion! That was the only thing this place had going for it..."

LOL!!!!!!!
over a year ago royalgirl65 said…
I love Once more with feeling-
Song-I have a theory
Xander-It could be witches,some evil witches, which is ridiculous cos witches they were persecuted wicked good and loved the earth and woman power I'll be over here.
over a year ago monkeylady72 said…
So many quality Buffy quotes. Some of my favorites, and in case you can't tell-Spike is my favorite:

Buffy:I realize that every Slayer comes with an expiration mark on the package, but I want mine to be a long time from now...like a Cheeto



Angleus: Dear Buffy. Hm...I'm still trying to find the best way to send my regards.
Spike: Why don't you rip her lungs out? That might make an impresson.
Angleus: Lacks poetry.
Spike: Doesn't have to. What rhymes with lungs?



Spike: I'm drownin' in footwear! (Wakes up) Weird dream.
(Chosen)



Spike: I've changed, Buffy.
Buffy: What? That chip in your head? That's not change. Th-that's just holding you back. You're like a serial killer in prison.
Spike: Women marry them all the time.


Spike: I'm not a monster.
Xander: Yes! You are a monster. Vampires are monsters! They make moster movies about them!
Spike: You've got me there.


Spike: If you want me to leave, you can put your hands on my hot, tight little body and make me.


Buffy: You shouldn't have come here.
Spike: No. I messed up your doilies and stuff. But I just got so bored.


Spike: Don't be a stupid git. There is no...
Giles: If I want your opinion, Spike, I'll...I'll never want your opinion.


Spike (talking to Willow): If at first you don't succeed, I'll kill him (gesturing to Xander) and you try again.


Spike (about Andrew): He's a breath of fresh air innt he? Thank God I don't breathe.


Spike: The door was unlocked. You might want to watch that, Rupert. Someone dangerous could get in.
Buffy: Or someone formerly dangerous and currently annoying.


Xander (when Tara's father is trying to take her): You're dealing with all of us.
Spike: Cept me.
Xander: Except Spike.
Spike: I don't care what happens.


Spike: I'm more of a veal man myself. You're too old to eat. But not to kill. (in School Hard-Spike's first episode)


Spike (after being asked to fight a troll): Yeah. I could do that but I'm paralyzed with not caring very much.


Anya: A year ago, I could have eviscerated him with my thoughts. Now, I can barely hurt his feelings. Things used to be so much simpler.
Spike: You know, you take the killing for granted, and then it's gone and you're like, I wish I'd appreciated it more. Stop and smell the corpses, you know.


Spike: Dru bagged a Slayer? S-She didn't tell me. Hey, good for her! (glared at by Buffy) Though not from your perspective, I suppose.


Dawn: You sleep, right? You. Vampires. You sleep.
Spike: Yeah? What's your point?
Dawn: Well, I can't take you in a fight or anything, even with a chip in your head. But you do sleep. If you hurt my sister at all...touch her...you're gonna wake up on fire.


Spike: Well I'm not good and I'm okay


Buffy: There are two things I don't believe in. Coincidences and Leprechauns.


Spike: Are we feeling better than?
Drusilla: I'm naming all the stars.
Spike: You can't see the stars, love. That's the ceiling. Also, it's day.
Drusilla: I can see them. But I've named them all the same name, and there's terrible confusion.


Spike: Angel is as dull as a table lamp...and we have very different coloring.


Spike: And I'm supposed to help you out of the evilness of my heart?


Giles: Oh yes, always behind on the terms. Still trying not to refer to you lot as bloody colonials. (after being reprimanded for calling Native Americans Indians)
over a year ago vampireempire said…
"We're going to need a bigger boat." Xander
over a year ago kalihart95 said…
Xander: I still don't get why we had to come here to get info about a killer snot monster.
Giles: Because it's a killer snot monster from outer space... I did not say that.
- listening to fear season 5

spike:oh so thats all. you've just come to pump me for information.
buffy: what else would i wanna pump you for? i really just said that didnt i?
- once more with feeling season 6

Buffy: Spike and I are getting married!
Xander: How? What? How?
Giles: Three excellent questions.
Spike: [to Buffy] What are you looking at?
Buffy: The man I love. (they kiss)
Xander: Can I be blind too?
-something blue season 4

Buffy: But, when I kissed you, you know I was thinking about Giles, right?
Spike: You know, I always wondered about you two.
Buffy: Oh, gross Spike!
-smashed season 6
over a year ago SeriousSlayage said…
Spike-Well were not having a vhurch wedding
Buffy-Mmmm...I was thinking we could have the ceremony in the park
Spike-yeh great spend your honeymoon with Mr. Big-pile-o-dust

there are so many from something blue, i love that episode

Spike- Spike took a trip to the vet and he doesnt chase the other puppies anymore!
over a year ago SeriousSlayage said…
big smile
ooh! Buffybot quotes

Buffybot (to Spike)- Darn your sinister attraction!
Buffybot- Angels lame. His hair sticks straight up and hes bloody stupid!
Buffybot (randomly mid-conversation with willow)- You're recently gay!
season 5 Intervention

i also love this speech and the music behind it, all patriotic and crap lol
Spike- What's this? Sittin around watchin telly while evil's still afoot. (turns TV off) That's not very industrious of you. I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! (Xander and Willow stare at him)What can't go without you're buffy is it? To chicken? Lets find her. She is the 'chosen' one after all-come on! Vampires! Grr! Nasty! Lets annihilate them. For justice-and for- the safety of puppies- and christmas, right? Lets *fight* that evil!-Lets kill something!....
Come *on*!

over a year ago lostgalaxy said…
By the way, there's this cool site dedicated to vampires only link

Enjoy!
over a year ago VampGirl151 said…
Xander; Angel! Angel! Angel! Why does every conversation we have, have to come back to that freak?
Angel: Hi
Xander: Hey man!
Angel: Buffy
Buffy: Angel
Xander: Xander!
over a year ago wilara26 said…
spike: you want me slayer...well come and get me
buffy: oh im coming im coming right now
over a year ago Rogue-slayer said…
Triangle, season 5

Willow: (Imitating Anya) I'm Anya. I like money more than people. People can so rarely be exchanged for goods and/or services

Xander: I'm gonna run and get Buffy. (to Spike) Or maybe you could fight him!
Spike: Yeah, I could, but I'm paralyzed with not caring very much

sometime in season 5

Anya: (Playing the game of life) Can i exchange the children for more money!

season 4

Willow: Well you know what it's like with a spanking new boyfriend
Anya: Yes, we've enjoyed spanking
over a year ago Rogue-slayer said…
ooh some more good quotes are Olaf quotes

Olaf: Ha ha! Puny receptacle
" ": You fight well although you are a tiny man.

triangle, season 5

Olaf: I do not care for Rannvieg. her hips are large and load-bearing like a Baltic woman's. (to Anya/Aud) Your hips are narrow like a... Baltic woman from a slightly more arid region.





over a year ago Duncan-lover1 said…
" Don't speak because everything you say sounds like good-bye." Dawn says this to Buffy in the last episode. Don't tell but I cried when she said that. And thats my favorite quote. I'm inspired by Dawn her character has a lot of meaning. She was a really big thing being the 'key' and everything, but she hated it and when it was gone she was just a mortal nothing special about her at all. Which made a good connection with Zander. They were my favorite because they remind me of me I was a big deal at school and I made a decition that made a big difference and I'm not such a big deal anymore. But I've deffinitly changed for the better
last edited over a year ago
over a year ago robin931009 said…
The hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Live. For me.

- Buffy Summers, Season 5: The Gift
over a year ago princesscool said…
heart
Buffy:and when im done do i get a cookie?
Spike: do i get a cookie?
Buffy: No

OZ:i hsvent seen you all day
Xander: well she wasnt with me no sir bc we havent been together all day, we definitly werent together in case you thought we were
Willow: so about buffys birthday
Xander: yeah about buffys birthday i was thinkin of my gift
Willow:(coughs)
Xander:what we just got a good topic!......... Oh hey buffy
HAHAHAHAHAHAHi LOVE BUFFY!!
over a year ago srsloveslayer said…
big smile

Andrew Wells: Could we try to keep our secret headquarters a little bit secret? Keep bringing people in, they're gonna see everything. They'll see the big board.
Buffy: Andrew, we don't have a big board.
over a year ago srsloveslayer said…
i changed my mind i like when willow says bored now
over a year ago GemonkDruid said…
big smile
Xander: Gay me up, Willow!
over a year ago wild-bby said…
heart
[R.J's enchanted jacket]
Willow: Well, I have skills. I can prove my love with magic.
Anya: Yeah, right.What are you gonna do? Use magic to make him into a girl?
[Willow's face lightens up]
Anya:Damn...


Anya: (fustrated that Willow and Tara wouldn't wish ill on Xander) What kind of lesbians are you? If you love men so much, go love men!

Xander: Whoa! Giles has a TV! Everybody...Giles has a TV- he's shallow like us!


Xander:You don't hide. You're bait. Go act baity.
Cordelia: What's the plan?
Xander: The Vampire attacks you.
Cordelia: And then what
Xander: The vampire kills you We watch, we rejoice.


Spike: I was actually in woodstock. That was a wierd gig. I fed off a flower person and spent the next six hours watching my hand move.


Xander: It's funny how the Earth never opens up and swallos you when you want it to.

Dawn: I feel safe with you.
Spike: Take that back!


Buffy: You don't know what feelings are!
Spike: I damn well do! I lie awake every night-
Buffy: You sleep during the day!
over a year ago damn_them_vamps said…
smirk
Spike: Love's a funny thing.

Spike: I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.

over a year ago LovingLucy said…
"Must be Tuesday!"
over a year ago LovingLucy said…
S4, Ep: Wild At Heart, Buffy: You eat out this late, you're gonna get heartburn. Get it? Heartburn?"

S6 Ep: Bargaining Pt. 1: Tara: Grr! Arrg!
over a year ago wannabespike said…
Series 6 Episode 3

One of the saddest and most poignant scenes I have ever seen. Made me teary.

"I was happy. Where ever I was, I was happy. At peace. I knew that everyone I cared about was alright. I knew it. Time didn't mean anything. Nothing had form, but I was still me, you know. And I was warm and I was loved and I was finished. Complete. I don't understand theology or dimensions or any of it really, but I think I was in heaven and now I'm not. I was torn out of there, pulled out by my friends. Everything here is hard, bright and violent. Everything I feel, everything I touch.... This is Hell. Just getting through the next moment and the one after that, knowing what I've lost.... They can never know - never."
over a year ago 0emz0 said…
SEASON 6 AMY AND BUFFY:
Buffy: How've ya been?
Amy: Rat.
Buffy: Dead
over a year ago ChelseaS said…
Whistler: In the end, you're always by yourself. You're all you've got. That's the point.

all time favorite
“Passion, it lies in all of us, sleeping... waiting... and though unwanted... unbidden... it will stir... open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us... guides us... passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love... the clarity of hatred... and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion maybe we'd know some kind of peace... but we would be hollow... Empty rooms shuttered and dank. Without passion we'd be truly dead.”
part of that will be my next tatto.
over a year ago rubyelf said…
Buffy: You had sex with Giles? You had sex with Giles?!
Joyce: It was the candy! We were teenagers!
Buffy: On the hood of a police car?!
Joyce: [goes to leave, glances back] I'll be downstairs. [exits] You feel better!
Buffy: Twice!?

Giles: I'm glad to see you've recovered from your psychic encounter more or less intact. Feel up to some training?
Buffy: Sure. We can work out after school. You know, if you're not too busy having sex with my mother!
[Giles walks right into a tree.]

Buffy: It's different. He's different. He has a soul now... What?
Angel: That's great! Everyone's got a soul now.
Buffy: He'll make a difference.
Angel: You know, I started it. The whole having-a-soul. Before it was... all the cool new thing.
Buffy: Oh my god, are you twelve?
Angel: I'm getting the brush-off for Captain Peroxide. It doesn't necessarily bring out the champion in me.




over a year ago JossIsBoss2010 said…
heart
Tara- I am you know?
Willow- What?
Tara- Yours.
over a year ago ScottishChic said…
Buffy: "... you could just, lie down with me and..."
Riley: "Nothing you're about to say will lead to rest."
over a year ago ScottishChic said…
Xander: "I think I liked it better when you were kicking me in my puffy groin."

Buffy: "Oh, no. I've had exactly two boyfriends and they both left, like really left, left town, left."
over a year ago EpicBoredom said…
Principal Snyder: "On the other hand, Sheila has never burned down a school building."
Buffy: "Well, that was never proven. The fire marshal said it could have been mice."
Principal Snyder: "Mice."
Buffy: "Mice that were smoking?"
-----------------------------------------­---­---­---­---­---
Willow: "Oh and Angel, when he found out you were in danger, his face went 'grrr.'. It was the most amazing thing I've ever seen!"
-----------------------------------------­---­---­---­---­---
Cordelia: "Gym was cancelled due to the extreme dead guy in the locker."
-----------------------------------------­---­---­---­---­---
Buffy: "To make a vampire they have to suck your blood. And then you have to suck their blood. It's like a whole big sucking thing."
-----------------------------------------­---­---­---­---­---
Willow: "We can't run, that would be wrong. Could we hide?"
-----------------------------------------­---­---­---­---­---
Buffy: Willow, you're alive.
Willow: Aren't I usually?
-----------------------------------------­---­---­---­---­--
Xander: Willow, did you remember to tape "Biography" last Friday?
Willow: Uh-huh.
Buffy: See? I told you. Old Reliable.
Willow: Oh, thanks.
Buffy: What?
Willow: Old Reliable? Yeah, great, there's a sexy nickname.
Buffy: Well, I-I didn't mean it as...
Willow: No, it's fine. I'm Old Reliable.
Xander: She just means, you know, the geyser. You're like a geyser of fun that goes off at regular intervals.
Willow: That's Old Faithful.
Xander: Isn't that the dog that-that the guy had to shoot...
Willow: That's Old Yeller!
Buffy: Xander, I beg you not to help me.
-----------------------------------------­---­---­--
Anya: Uh, Willow?
Willow: Uh, hi.
Anya: Anya. I'm sort of new here. Um, I know Cordelia.
Willow: Oh, fun.
Anya: Yeah, uh, listen, I have this little project I'm working on, and I heard you were the person to ask if...
Willow: Yeah, that's me. Reliable dog-geyser-person.
-----------------------------------------­---­---­---­---
Buffy: Will, wait. I'm really sorry.
Willow: Buff, I'm storming off. It doesn't really work if you come with me.
-----------------------------------------­---­---­---­--
Buffy: [about Vamp Willow's outfit] Are you okay in that?
Willow: It's a little binding. I guess vampires really don't have to breathe.
[looks down into her low-cut shirt]
Willow: Gosh, look at those!
-----------------------------------------­---­---­---­---
Willow: Well, you know, I have a choice. I can spend my life waiting for Xander to go out with every other girl in the world until he notices me, or I can just get on with my life.
Buffy Summers: [supportive] Good for you.
Willow: Well, I didn't choose yet.
-----------------------------------------­---­---­---­--
Willow: So, Ampata, you're a girl.
Ampata: Yes, for many years now.
-----------------------------------------­---­---­---­--

over a year ago LG194 said…
there are faaar to many..but heres a couple..

"im eating this banana, lunch time be damned"


Giles-"I have a friend coming over and id like us to be alone"
Anya-"what do you mean an orgasm friend?"
Giles-"yes and that is exactly the most appaling thing you could have said"


Ethan-"id say that things are about to..."
Giles-"is someone..?"
Ethan-"oh bugger i thought youd gone"


Giles-"PROFESSOR WALSH?! That fish wife?!"


Cordelia-"Ew. What does this do?"
Giles-"It, um, extracts vital organs so that it can regenerate its own mutating cells."
Cordelia-"wow..what does this one do?"
Giles-"it elongates its mouth to engulf the head of its casualty between its teeth"
Cordelia-"ouch. what does this one do?"
Giles-"it asks endless questions of those with whom its supposed to be working so that nothing is getting done"
Cordelia-"Boy theres a demon for everything.."


"its a sham..its a sham with yams..its a yam sham"


"its the end of the world"
"AGAIN?!"


Giles-"how did you get in here?"
Spike-"the door was unlocked..you ought to watch that rupert, someone dangerous could get in.."
Buffy-"or someone formally dangerous and currently anoying.."


Buffy-"Giles help! hes gonna scold me"


Buffy-"look at my poor neck..all bare and tender and exposed..all that blood just pumping away"
Giles-"oh please.."


Spike-"Passions is on! Timmys down the bloody wells and if you make me miss it il.."
Giles-"do what?! lick me to death?!"

Buffy-"oh my god how bored were you last year?"
Giles-"i watched passions with spike..lets never speak of it"


Dawn-"i told mum that i wish they'd teach me some of the things they do together..then she went all quiet and made me go upstairs..."


Glory-"the slayers a robot..did anyone else know the slayers a robot?"
*smacks with hammer*
Buffy-"your not the brightest god in the heavens are you"


Buffy-"you have fruit punch smelth.."


Buffy-"is there something you wanna tell me?"
Riley-"oh..yes..i am a lesbian"
Buffy-"well its good that your so open about it"


Buffy-"willow, you're a gay woman...and hes not.."
Willow-"this isn't about his physical presence! its about his heart"
Anya-"his physical presence is a penis!"
Willow-"i can work around it"


Buffy-"i think he needs blood"
Willow-"want me to kill anya?"


Cheese man-"these..will not protect you"

"..i saved a little space for the cheese slices"

*shakes cheese slices in the air*

"i wear the cheese, it does not wear me"
Giles-"honestly you meet the most appaling sort of people"


Buffy-"at least you all didnt dream about that guy with the cheese...i dunno where the hell that came from.."
last edited over a year ago
over a year ago hot4spike said…
this is one of my favs from hush
Spike: "Xander don't you care about me."
Xander: "Shut up!"
Spike: "We never talk."
Xander: "Shut up!"
Spike: " Xaaannnder."
Xander: "Shut up!"

over a year ago HouseofNightRox said…
Spike: I'll make her love me for the man I am. I'll tie her up, torture her, until she loves me again.
over a year ago Makeupdiva said…
Buffy:(to Jonathon)"Nooo... I think you're up in the clocktower with a high-powered rifle because you wanna blend in."

Buffy: Aren't you going to introduce me to your... Holy God, you're Willow"

Giles: Let me get this straight: you think I'm evil if I take a group of teenage girls on a camping trip and I DON'T touch them?

Willow: Kiss rocks? Why would anyone want to kiss...oh, wait. I get it.

Willow: That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil and...skanky. And I think I'm kind of gay.

Faith: All men are beasts, Buffy.
Buffy: Okay, I was hoping to not get that cynical 'til I was at least forty.
Faith: It's not cynical. I mean, it's realistic. Every guy from... Manimal down to Mr. I-Love-The-English-Patient has beast in him. And I don't care how sensitive they act. They're all still just in it for the chase.

Giles: I'm glad to see you've recovered from your psychic encounter more or less intact. Feel up to some training?
Buffy: Sure. We can work out after school. You know, if you're not too busy having sex with my mother! (Giles walks into a tree)(I just loved that part, I thought it was like the best scene out of the whole episode.)

Giles: Look, Spike - we have no intention of killing a harmless... uh, creature... we have to know what's been done to you. We can't let you go until we're sure that you're... impotent...
Spike: Hey!
Giles: Sorry, poor choice of words. Until we're sure you're, you're...
Buffy: Flaccid?
Spike: You are one step away, missy -
Buffy: [sarcastically] Giles, help! He's going to scold me.


over a year ago lovebtvs said…
Season 1 prophecy girl...buffy: i may be dead but i'm still pritty. Season 7 chosen....( angel jumps up after being knocked out by caleb) angel: alright now im pissed where is he? ( buffy looks at calebs remains right after cuting him in half) buffy: he had to split( bursts out laughing) im not sure what episode but its from season 5. (Anya xander and dawn are playing monopoly) anya: i have all these annoying children and more money than i can manage... xander: anya. That means your winning. Anya: oh goddy! Can i trade the children in for more money?
Buffyslover84 commented…
they were actually playing the game of life board game over a year ago
over a year ago deathtokennedy said…
Check out this link, the video has similar humor as buffy! Gotta support funny people!

"You'll definitly beat her on the psych test. Just dont check the box that says 'I sometimes like to kill people'" -Willow (from Dopplegangland)

Here's the link-
over a year ago smokestripe6 said…
laugh
Oh I read all of them! and there were good ones. OK then these are my favs
I was made to love you:
Joyce: How does the dress look?
Dawn: I like it.
Joyce: It doesn't make me look to mom-ish?
Dawn:...Oh that was why I liked it.
Buffy: you guys are both crazy. that dress screams 'Randy sex kitten buy me one drink and I'll....' Wait that's not good either.

Haha I love that

Another fav is
Cordleia: That's the craziest plan I've ever heard.
Oz:We attack the mayor with Humus.
Cordelia: i stand corrected.
over a year ago ewiezz said…
big smile
my favorite... Spike said in 'Pangs' - "I'm too hungry to remember everything" ... and sometimes change it and used daily conversation such as "I'm too hungry to cook" especially after back from work and my hubby as me to cook
over a year ago cookie24 said…
cant belive there arent more anay quips. 'people can so rarely be exchanged for goods and or services' also one of my favourite quotes is when they are eating food at the party and anya holds up a little shredded wheat type snack and talks about people making them, every one the same
'that's craftsmanship'
over a year ago InnerMoppet said…
I have a file somewhere where I had been compiling favorite Buffy quotes, but it's on a CD somewhere. I would come in handy right about now! Some of my favorites have already been posted, but here's a few more:

Xander: "I'm twice the fool it takes to do something like this."

Xander: "Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with dead boy on this one."
Angel: "Would you not call me that?"

Faith: "New watcher?"
Buffy & Giles: "New watcher."
Faith: "Screw that."

Balthazar: "You know what I want?"
Giles: "If it's for me to scrub those hard to reach areas, I'd like to request you kill me now."

Willow: "On the other hand, maybe Rodney just stepped out for a smoke."
Xander: "For twenty-one hours??"

Willow: "He was just doing what was done to him."
Xander: "I didn't give him syphilis!"

Joyce: "Have we met?"
Spike: "You hit me with an axe one time, remember? 'Get the hell away from my daughter'?"

Giles: "You never train with me anymore. He's gonna kick your ass."
Buffy: "Giles!"

Giles: "You were right, all along, about everything.... Well, no, you weren't right about your mother coming back as a pekinese."
over a year ago cooldarkness said…
big smile
all i have 2 say is............. buffy rulz!!!!!!!!!!!!
over a year ago tillyblue said…
Giles: you might have let m in on your plan while he throttled me.
Spike: Poor watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes? Cup of tea, cup I tea, almost got shagged, cup of tea?
over a year ago Giles-Wes-Girl1 said…
big smile
Willow: And there's no one in the world who has the power to stop me now
Giles: *walks in, and blasts Willow with magick, sending her flying* I'd like to test that theory.

Giles: Buffy, when I said you could slay vampires and have a social life, I didn't mean at the same time!

Jenny: Did anyone ever tell you you're kind of a fuddy duddy?
Giles: Nobody ever seems to tell me anything else.
Jenny: Did anyone ever tell you you're kind of a sexy fuddy duddy?
Giles: No, actually, that part usually gets left out. I can't imagine why.

Giles: Grave robbery? That's new. Interesting.
Buffy: I know you meant to say gross and disturbing.
Giles: Yes, yes, yes, of course. Terrible thing. Must put a stop to it. Damn it.

Giles: Whatever the authorities have planned for her, it can't be much worse than what she's doing to herself. She's taken a human life. The guilt it's it's - pretty hard to bear. It won't go away soon.
Cordelia: I guess you should know, since you helped raise that demon that killed that guy that time.
Giles: Yes, do let's bring that up as often as possible.

Buffy: Giles, there are two things that I don't believe in. Coincidence and leprechauns.
Giles: Buffy, it's entirely possible that they both arrived here by chance simultaneously.
Buffy: Okay, but, I was right about the leprechauns, right?
Giles: As far as I know.

Giles *to Xander and Willow at the dance*: We have to find Buffy. Something terrible has happened. Just kidding,
thought I'd give you a scare. Are those finger sandwiches?

Giles: You filthy little ponce, you afraid of a little demon?
Principal Snyder: You wanna splash around in the pooh, you're the filthy one!
Buffy: Everybody just stop it! Okay, listen to me! I need help. Okay, Giles, I need grownups. These children are
gonna die if we don't act now, okay, and think clearly. There is no room for mistakes. Besides which, you guys are
just wigging me out.

Giles: [drunk] What am I? I'm an unemployed librarian with a tendency to get knocked on the head.
Ethan Rayne: [suddenly sober] Well, you won't have to worry about that anymore, mate. When you went to the loo, I slipped a small pellet of poison in your drink, you'll be dead in an hour.
[Giles stares at him]
Ethan Rayne: Just kidding!
[they both laugh]
Giles: I'm gonna feel like hell in the morning.
Ethan Rayne: Relax. Enjoy the night. We're still a couple of sorcerers. The night is still our time.

Giles: Bay City Rollers. Now, that's music.
Buffy: I didn't hear that.

Buffy: Giles, share. What is the Mark of Eyghon?
Giles: Hey! This is not your battle. And as your Watcher, I'm telling you unequivocally to stay out of it!

Xander: I'll have you know I was just accosted by some kind of, um, locker monster.
Rupert Giles: Loch Ness Monster?
Buffy: /Locker/ monster is what he said.

Spike: Oh, you have got to be joking. What now?
Giles: It has to access the cerebral cortex via the optic nerve.
Spike: Oh, bollocks. All the rubbish people keep sticking in my head, it's a wonder there's any room for my brain.
Giles: I don't think it takes up that much space, do you?

Faith: *trying to convince Giles she's really Buffy in Faith's body* Giles, you turned into a demon, and I knew it was you. I mean, can't you just look in my eyes and be all intuitive?
Giles: How did I turn into a demon?
Faith: [as Buffy] Oh, 'cause, uh, Ethan Rayne. And-and you have a girlfriend named Olivia... and you haven't had a job since we blew up the school... which is valid lifestyle-wise. I mean, it's not like you're a slacker type, but - Oh, oh! When I had psychic power I heard my mom think that you were like a stevedore during sex. W- Do you want me to continue?
Giles: Actually, I beg you to stop.
Faith: What's a stevedore?

[attempting to cause a distraction]
Giles: Damn it, man, we /have/ to get inside! Our, um, uh... Our families are-are-are in there. Our, uh, mothers and-and, tiny, /tiny/ babies.

Rupert Giles: I'm not supposed to have a private life?
Buffy: No. Because you're very, very old and it's gross.

(After Giles is impaled, and is treated at the hospital)
Xander: How you doin'?
Rupert Giles: It only hurts when I answer pointless questions.

(Dawn, Anya, Xander and Andrew tackle Giles, thinking he's the first)Giles: Gah!
Xander: Touch him! Touch him!
Dawn: Oh, I feel him! I feel him!
Xander: Me too!
Andrew: Me too!
Giles: Good. We all feel each other. Including some of us who don't know each other well enough to take such liberties, thank you. Um, I assume there is a perfectly reasonable and not at all insane explanation, yes?
Anya: We thought you might be non-corporeal evil.
Dawn: We got a call. We couldn't remember you touching anything.
Xander: We had to make sure you were okay. We were worried.
Giles: Oh. Ah. Yes, well, that's very sweet. Now, wait a minute, you thought - you think I'm evil if I bring a group of girls on a camping trip and /don't/ touch them?

Giles: What ever happened to Latin? At least when that made no sense, the church approved.

Giles: Testosterone is a great equalizer. It turns all men into morons.

Giles: (To Buffy) That was hardly the worst mistake you'll ever make... That wasn't quite as comforting as it was meant to be.

over a year ago anderflins said…
laugh
Giles it's the end of the world Willow & Xander: Buffy: We saved the world. I say we have to party. Xander I laugh in the face of danger then I hid until it goes away
Xander: If anyone sees my spine lying about, just try not to step on it.
Willow: We can't run, that would be wrong. Could we hide?
over a year ago Avolette said…
Spike"It's a big rock. I can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a rock this big."
over a year ago daphne23 said…
wink
Here r 2 o my favorites
Drusilla: I'm naming all the stars
Spike: you can't c the stars love. That's a celling. Also it's day
My favorite of all
Buffy: what r u doing here spike. 5 words or less
Spike: out for a walk... Bitch

Last but not least
Spike: a bear u made a bear
Buffy: I didn't mean to
Spike: turn it back turn it back
over a year ago crazilysane said…
laugh
I think Willow and Anya have some of the best dialogue like

ANYA-*something about being scared willow will steal xander*
WILLOW-No I wouldn't!
ANYA-Well why not?
WILOW- Uh hello, gay now!

Or,

WILLOW-This is'nt about his physical prescense. It's about his heart!
ANYA-His physical prescence has a PENIS!

Also, I love Buffy and Amy's reaction tto seeing eachother after 3 years,

BUFFY- Oh, hey Amy. How've yo been?
AMY- Rat, you?
BUFFY-Dead.
AMY-Oh.

AND, I love Willow to Amy,

WILLOW-First, Larry's gay. Second, Larry's dead. And third, high school's kinda over.

over a year ago mimivilee said…
Principal Snyder : Where are you from, Harris?
Xander : Well, the basement, mostly.
Principal Snyder : Were you born there?
Xander : Possibly.
...
over a year ago daphne23 said…
One of my favorite Xander episodes is season 5 episode 1 I'm tierd of being everyones butt monkey

Spike: you made a bear
Buffy: I didn't mean to
Spike: undo it undo it

Spike: it's a big rock I can't wait to tell my friends they don't have a rock this big :b

over a year ago peredebeeste said…
i'm from the country of leone! its in italy,pretending to be montana!- xander in inc mummy girl!
over a year ago Buffyslover84 said…
in the last episode of season 4 when buffy, willow, xander and giles are all dreaming the same dream,
the cheese man says to giles: "i wear cheese, it doesn't wear me"

also in the same episode spike and giles are swinging on the swing and spike says to xander " giles is teaching me to be a watcher, he says i got the stuff"

plus i liked the buffybot's quotes in regards to spike. such as "devour me spike"
over a year ago Buffyslover84 said…
"her abuse of the english language is such that I understand only every other sentence..."-Wesly Wyndam-Price (quoting Giles)on Buffy, "bad Girls"
over a year ago Buffyslover84 said…
Willow-"Well the slayer always says a pun or a witty play on words, and I think it throws vampires off!" episode Anne
over a year ago Buffyslover84 said…
Buffy: "Faith, this is Giles."
Faith: "I seen him. If I'd a known they came this young and cute I'd've requested a transfer."
Buffy: "Okay, raise your hand if' 'ew"-"Faith, Hope & Trick"
over a year ago rfrankenstein said…
Wow, loved reading through all these! I realize it's been over a year (other than Buffyslover84) but this is the feed I like the best, and I did notice a couple good ones that were missed in the last 7 years haha

Ssn 4: Where the Wild Things Are
Old lady: "I refuse to listen to this while I can smell the sin on each and every one of you!"
Xander: "Oh yeah? You smell sin? Well let me tell you something lady, She who smelt it dealt it!"

Early ep when Buffy goes to the hospital :
Cordelia: "Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass.

Then even earlier! 1st ssn probably : Giles (when he's still uber-librarian) "Do you want me to answer that, or shall I just glare"

Ssn 4 : The Yoko Factor
Willow "Crack a government encryption code on my laptop? Easy as incredibly difficult pie"
Spike "You're not exactly the wiz lately either. Gah! I'm never gonna get paid"
Willow "I am a wiz!"
Tera "She is a wiz!"
Willow (grumbling) "...ever a wiz there was" (with her sooo cute pouty-face)

Same ep, Angel shows up & gets in a fight with Riley. When Buffy finds out he says "It was an accident!"
Buffy "Running your car into a tree is an accident, running your fist into somebody's face is a plan"

Spike "Don't tell me, you never heard of the beatles?
Adam "I have. I like Helter Skelter".

Restless
Willow "I'm very seldom naughty"
over a year ago FanFic_Girl_26 said…
cool
My favorite quote would probably be this one from the Season 3 episode Earshot:

Male Student: (thinking) Wait ‘til I’m a software jillionaire and you’re all flipping burgers. Who’s the loser then?

I also like this one:

Buffy: (to Jonathan) My life happens on occasion to suck beyond the telling of it. Sometimes more than I can handle. And it’s not just mine. Every single person down there is ignoring your pain because they’re too busy with their own. The beautiful ones. The popular ones. The guys that pick on you. Everyone. If you could hear what they were feeling. The loneliness. The confusion. It looks quiet down there. It’s not. It’s deafening.
last edited over a year ago