Buffy the Vampire Slayer Best quotes

amazondebs posted on Dec 05, 2007 at 01:31AM
i love how witty Buffy is, i think my fave quotes are
"The world is doomed" (last line of the first episode)
"The world is most definitely doomed" (before the battle of chosen the last episode)
what are yours?
last edited on Dec 12, 2007 at 06:21PM

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over a year ago ztara said…
"Its like theres a party in my eye socket and everyones invited!...i shouldn't be able to say words"- Xander
over a year ago amazondebs said…
that one makes me think of
"it's like theres a meat party in my mouth. Wow i'm young and even i know how wrong that sounds"-Dawn
last edited over a year ago
over a year ago ztara said…
do you have a musket? that man has a musket!-Buffy
you made a bear! undo it! undo it!-spike
over a year ago amazondebs said…
Xander:(imitates Dracula's accent) where'd you get that accent, Sesame Street? Vone, two, three — three victims. Mwah, ha, ha, ha!
FanFic_Girl_26 commented…
Yeah, I remember that one. Xander must've remembered Count Von Count from Sesame Street, too. :) over a year ago
over a year ago Joker said…
There's loads...

Can't remember the ep, think it may be Surprise:

"Have I ever told you about the one where I take Buffy out for prime rib...and she cries!?" - Xander

Doppelgangland (when Buffy, Giles and Xander think Willow is dead):

Giles - "She was the best of all of us."
Xander - "Way better than me."
Giles - "Much, much better."

Season 5, the ep escapes me.

Buffy - "What are you doing here, 5 words or less?"

Spike - "Out for a walk...bitch."

Giles and Oz have all the best lines but for some reason every one that I know makes me laugh I can't think of right now...except this one from Living Conditions:

Buffy: "...so then Kathy's like, 'It's share time.' And I'm like, 'Oh yeah? Share this!'"
Oz: "So, either you hit her, or you did your wacky mime routine for her."
Buffy: "Well, I didn't do either, actually. But she deserves it, don't you think?"
Oz: "Nobody deserves a mime, Buffy."
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over a year ago amazondebs said…
i love the mime one my fave oz quotes is

Cordelia: i don't think there can be a crazier plan
oz: we attack the mayor with humus

i also love spike mini speech afterwards to Buffy where at the end he says "and you've got stupid hair too"
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over a year ago Joker said…
Couldn't have a quotes list without a Xander/Cordy exchange, from Innocence:

Cordelia: "This is great. There's an unkillable demon in town, Angel's joined his team, the Slayer is a basket case... I'd say we've hit bottom."
Xander: "I have a plan."
Cordelia: "Oh, no, here's a lower place."

Yoko Factor (Purely for the way Giles says this)

Xander: "No! It was bad before that! Since you two went off to college and forgot about me! Just
left me in the basement to-- Tara's yourgirlfriend?"
Giles: "Bloody hell!"

over a year ago amazondebs said…
anya: i want the dress... What? everyone was thinking it
Giles: i wasn't... i have it in blue
over a year ago ztara said…
in once more with feeling theres a good one

(in song)
spike -first ill save here then i'll kill her
willow (looking puzzled)- i think this lines mostly filler

last edited over a year ago
over a year ago amazondebs said…
spike: (reading from coat jacket) made with care for randy. RANDY! RANDY GILES? why not just call me horny giles or desperate for a shag giles i knew there was a reason i hated you!"
over a year ago ztara said…
"your not too old to put over my knee you know" -Giles
(in reponce to spike in Tabula Rosa)
over a year ago amazondebs said…
Spike: You Englishmen are always so...Bloody hell! Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks, oh God! I'm English!
GILES: Welcome to the nancy tribe.
last edited over a year ago
over a year ago ztara said…
After Riley pulls Giles out of the lair of the three sisters

Giles: oh! i left my shoe, silly me i'll just pop back and...
Riley: Ohno! no more chick pit for you!
over a year ago amazondebs said…
dawn:found it, i think it pronounced m'fshnik like mmmm cookies

Xander: or maybe muh'fashnik like muh'fashnik
over a year ago ztara said…
hey everybody its Giles!...with a chainsaw!-Xander

dont't taunt the fear deamon-Giles
why can it hurt me?-Xander
no, its just tacky- Giles
over a year ago amazondebs said…
Giles-Oh, bloody hell, the inscription!
Buffy-What’s the matter?
Giles-I should have translated the Gaelic inscription under the illustration of Gachnar
Buffy-What’s it say?
Giles-Actual size
over a year ago Joker said…
The Puppet Show:

Snyder: Kids today need discipline. That's an unpopular word these days, 'discipline'. I know Principal Flutie would have said, 'Kids need understanding. Kids are human beings.' That's the kind of woolly-headed, liberal thinking that leads to being eaten.

Lie To Me:

Willow: That's Angel.
Xander: He's Buffy's beau. Her special friend.
Ford: He's not in school, right? He looks older than her.
Xander: You're not wrong.

Buffy: This is Ford. We went to school together in L.A.
Angel: Nice to meet you.
Ford: Whoa! Cold hands!
Xander: You're not wrong.

over a year ago amazondebs said…
i love the ending of lie to me!

Buffy: "Does it ever get easy?"
Giles: "You mean life?"
Buffy: "Yeah. Does it get easy?"
Giles: "What do you want me to say?"
Buffy: "Lie to me."
Giles: "Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after."
Buffy: "Liar."
over a year ago em_em said…
I think that Spike and Willows quotes might generally be my favorite, but I love them all!

Spike: I love syphilis more than you.

Willow: A doodle. I do doodle. You too. You do doodle, too.

Spike: It's a big rock. I can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a rock this big.

Cordy has some good ones too.

Cordelia: What's going on? Oh, God. Is the world ending? I have to research a paper on Bosnia for tomorrow, but if the world's ending, I'm not gonna bother.

Oh and I love this bit and the excitement he gets from the thought of what he could do.

Angelus: I wanna torture you. I used to love it, and it's been such a long time. I mean, the last time I tortured someone, they didn't even *have* chainsaws.
over a year ago amazondebs said…
buffy- spike have you completley lost your mind?
spike-well yes! where have you been all night

Xander- Well, give him a break, Buffy. Maybe it's a vicious skin-eating rock cliff.
spike- There's a cave in it. I'm insane. What's his excuse?
over a year ago Cinders said…
Some of mine, both from Season Two:

Snyder: There're some things I can just smell. It's like a sixth sense.
Giles: No, actually that would be one of the five.
(When She Was Bad)

Oz, eating animal crackers: Oh, look! Monkey! And he has a little hat. And little pants.
Willow: Yeah, I see!
Oz: The monkey's the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know that?-- You have the sweetest smile I've ever seen. (Willow is surprised, Oz breezes past it)-- So, I'm wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sorta ripped? Like, is the hippo going, "Hey, man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity!" And you know the monkey's just, (French accent) "I mock you with my monkey pants!" And there's a big coup in the zoo.
Willow: The monkey is French?
Oz: All monkeys are French. You didn't know that?
(What's My Line Pt. 2)

And then, in "Surprise" (in Buffy's dream)

Willow: (about the organ grinder's monkey sitting next to her) L'hippo a pique' ses pantalons.
(Which means the hippo stole his pants) ;o)
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over a year ago amazondebs said…
love the translation! didn't know that

Anya: What a day. Gimme a beer.
Bartender: I.D.
Anya:I'm eleven hundred and twenty years old! Just gimme a frickin' beer!
Bartender: I.D.
Anya:Gimme a Coke.
over a year ago Joker said…

Oz: I'm gonna ask you to go out with me tomorrow night. And I'm kinda nervous about it, actually. It's interesting.
Willow: Oh. Well, if it helps at all, I'm gonna say yes.
Oz: Yeah, it helps. It-it creates a comfort zone. Do you wanna go out with me tomorrow night?
Willow: Oh! I can't!
Oz: Well, see, I like that you're unpredictable.
Willow: Oh, it's just it's Buffy's birthday, and we're throwing her a surprise party.
Oz: It's okay.
Willow: But you could come. If you want to.
Oz: Well, I don't wanna crash.
Willow: No, it's fine! Well, you could be m... my date.
Oz: All right. I'm in.
Willow: ...I said 'date'.

Xander: Buffy, I feel a pre-birthday spanking coming on.
Jenny: I'd curb that impulse if I were you, Xander.
Xander: Check, cancel spanking.

over a year ago shelbz_101 said…
a few of my fav funny buffy quotes are

"You're a vampire. Oh, I'm sorry. Was that an offensive term? Should I say undead American?"-said by buffy to angel

Buffy:"My Spidey sense is tingling."
Giles:"Your...Spidey Sense?"
Buffy:"Pop Culture references... Sorry."
-from episode I robot...you jane

Giles:"Why should someone want to harm Cordelia?"
Willow:"Maybe because they met her? Did I say that?" -Episode The witch

Willow:" It's horrible. That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil and skanky. And I think I'm kind of gay." -from episode Dopplegangland (season 3)

Xander:" Hello, excuse me, but have you ever heard of knocking."
Jonathan:" We're supposed to get some books...on Stalin."
Xander:" Does this look like a Barnes & Noble?"
Giles:" This is a school library, Xander."
Xander:" Since when." - from episode passion

over a year ago x-missmckena-x said…
All of Whats my Line parts 1 and 2 is just pure genius heres a few of the goodens but i cunt fit the whole episode on, most of them are xander cordy lines there first kiss, so funny!

Willow: Don't worry, Buffy, we'll save Angel.
Kendra: Angel? But our priority is to stop Drusilla!
Xander: Angel's our friend! Except I don't like him.

Giles: There are forty-three churches in Sunnydale? That seems a little excessive.
Willow: It's the extra evil vibe from the Hellmouth. Makes people pray harder.

Willow: There's a Slayer handbook?
Buffy: Wait. Handbook? What handbook? How come I don't have a handbook?
Willow: Is there a T-shirt, too? 'Cause that would be cool...

Cordelia: Oh, here I am. 'Personal shopper or motivational speaker.' Neato!
Xander: Motivational speaker? On what? Ten ways to a more annoying you?

Snyder: It's worth nothing, Harris. Whatever comes out of your mouth is a meaningless waste of breath. An airborne toxic event.
Xander: Well, I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to be so honest with me. And I can only hope that one day I'm in the position to be that honest with you.

Buffy: You don't have to whisper. Mom's in L.A. till Thursday. Art buying or something .
Angel: Then, why'd you come in through the window?
Buffy: .... Habit.

Giles: You're behaving remarkably immaturely .
Buffy: You know why? I am immature. I'm a teen. I have yet to mature

Cordelia: What am I, mass transportation?
Xander: That's what a lot of the guys say, but it's just locker- room talk, I wouldn't pay it any mind .
Cordelia: Oh, great, so now I'm your taxi and your punching bag .
Xander: I like to think of you more as my witless foil, but have it your way

Cordelia: He looked normal!
Xander: What, is he supposed to have an arrow with the word 'assassin' over his head?

Xander: Oh, here we go. I am the bug man, coo-coo ka-choo

Xander: Okay, he can only be killed when he's in his disassembled state. Disassembled. That means when he's broken down into his little buggy parts.
Cordelia: I know what it means, dork head.
Xander: Dork head? You slash me with your words!