Saten: *drunkily* H Hey Applejack
AppleJack: Are ya drunk or something?
Saten: *dizzily* No I'm no- A little
AppleJack: *giggles* Y'all really need some sort of intervention. Ah mean this is the third time this week.
(Suddenly Saten Twist squeeze hugged her, even though it was clear Applejack wasn't completely comfortable with it.)
Saten: I I love you Applejack. Let's grow old together in everyway. (demonic voice) EVERY-WAY!
AppleJack *trying to push him off her*: Yeah.. About that.. Look. We only been on 'one' date. It didn't even end well,. But since then. Ya showed up at my house four times.. Uninvited!
Saten: Yeah.. So?
AppleJack: Look. Ah don't wanna seem like a mean girl, but. As ah told ya one hundred times before.. We're not a couple. So stop acting like we are.
Saten: *dumbly* I I don't understand?
Trixie: Thanks for taking me for lunch. Never been to this place.
Saten: Hey. Your a good friend.
Trixie: Thanks. So are you.
Saten: Is it true you took down a Ursa Major?
Trixie: No.. I just said that for popularity.
Saten Twist: Ohh... (gets angrier) Well your just a big fuckin lier aren't you!
Trixie: (nervously stands up)
Saten: (threateningly points one of the knives) SIT DOWN!
Saten: Hey. Nice perfamance.
SweetieBelle: Really!?. Everyone only cares about the stupid dresses. *sudden anger* This always happens! Rarity always outshines me.
Saten: Hey. Siblings do that.. In fact.. When I was your age. I won a ribbin at a science fair, my project was called "do Lima beans nurture under classical music". But my unimpressed mother simply just pointed out that it was a rip off of my older brother's project "do Lima beans grow better in rock and roll". And well.. I ended up losing the ribbon and it was given to my stinkin brother.
2 HOURS LATER
Saten: *now angrier* First off, the projects were completely differenty. I was showing the classic music 'nurtures' Lima beans. But my stupid mother didn't lesson.. If your like to see the relationship between nurturing and growth, I'd like to point out that my brother is EIGHT INCHES TALLER THAN ME!
Saten: ... Anyway. I hope that helpe- (sees that Sweetie Belle must of ran off quite some time ago)
INSIDE A LOCAL BREWERY:
Saten: Fired!? Why am I fired!?
Boss pony: Cause you only been here a week, and you keep getting drunk on the samples.
Saten: Okay. Not gonna lie.. I 'might' be an acholalic.
Boss pony: *sarcastically* yeaaaah.. Kinda got that. Thanks for clarifying though.
Grape: I have to admit.. Derpy is a lot less attractive in person.
Saten: Oh. Is that so?
Grape: Yeah.. But baggers can't be choosers.
Saten: (fake laugh) good one... May I see your pen?
Grape: Uhh., Sure (gives him a pen from his pocket)
Saten: Thanks.. Now. What was that about Derpy?
Grape: That, she's kinda uglier in person.
Saten: I see... (suddenly, and aggressively, stabs the pen into GoldenGrapes leg, much to his intense pain)
Grape: What the fu-
Saten: (sadistically) HOW UGLY IS SHE NOW!?
Saten: I found you a present!
Twilight: What kinda prese- OH MY GOD!
Saten: *holding live snake* I found her outside. *gives the snake to Twilight. Cause he is too drunk to see her fear of it*
Twi: It's just.. You don't always seem to have everyone's best interest at heart.
Saten: Everyone's best interest.. Dude! I am a man of dignity!.. (smokes a large glass bong full of marijuana)
Saten: I'm Saten Twist.. And your prettier in person.
Luna: Well.. Thank you. But please don't get to close, you have bad breath. And a creepy look to you.
Saten: Well.. You could of just as easily thanked me for saving your 'royal a-
Celestia and Twilight: (desperately tries to change the subject)
Saten: (still to Luna) Bitch!
AJ: Look sugercube.. I'm sorry.. But Ah need ta move on towards bigger, better, things.
Saten: ... Like meth?
AJ: (annoyed) No. Not like me-
Saten: Want some?
AJ: No ah don't wan- WHY DO YA HAVE METH!?
Saten: Relax. I don't use it. I only sell it..
Saten: (points at Trenderhoof while talking to AJ) I hear that nerd has a crush on you,
AJ: No need I be jealous.
Saten: Me. Jealous, no way.
AJ: Good because ah have enough to worry abou-
Saten: (to trenderhoof) I'LL KILL YOU!
Saten: ... A, Anyway. What you say cutie? Wanna be my girlfriend?
Trixie: ... Fine., but on two conditions.
Saten: Only two?.. That's 'already' better then AppleJack.
Trixie: One.. I am traveling a lot. And it dosen't look I'll be in Ponyville for quite some time.. So your have to call me everyday.
Saten: Sure. I can do that, no problem.
Trixie: Two.. You let me work on your jealousy.
Saten: What are you talking about? I never have jealousy..
Stallion: Hey Trixie, nice sho-
Saten: (angrily punches the stallion out cold) SHE'S MINNNE!
Waiter: Here are your napkins. (Gives them napkins)
Saten: (notices Trixie has 2 extra ones)
Saten: (sudden anger) Hey! Why dose she get more!?... ARE YOU HITTING ON HER!?
Saten: (pounds table) I WILL FUCK YOU UP!
Waiter: (runs off in fear)
Trixie: (sighs) Honey, I thought we talked about your jealously?
Saten: I'm trying., but I don't want to end like my father after h-
Waiter 2: (hands Trixie water) Here's your wat-
Saten: (leaps onto him and starts attacking him).
Saten: (is literary thrown out of the restaurant).
Therapist: Uhh... Let's just skip into it.. She says you hate your dad.. How is he anyway?
Therapist: ... And your mother?
Saten: Killed him
Therapist: ... Wanna talk about that?
Saten; Just did
Derpy: Fine. Whatever. Just as long as nobody makes fun of.
Saten: Relax. No one is gonna make fun of yo-
Reggie: Hey! Nice eyes Derpy.. Makes you look even stupider then before..
Saten: Hey.. Screw off Reggie. Nobody likes you.
Reggie: Screw off.. But I only just started.. (containues making fun of Derpy).
Saten: Whatever.. I'm just trying to put this knife away (shows a bread knife).
Derpy: It goes in the kitchen silly (chuckles)
Saten: Thank yo- (suddenly the famish rainboom happened, and it shook the ground causing Saten to loose his balance and unintentionally stab Reggie in the head, instantly killing him)
Derpy: (turning away from window) Hey cuz did you se- OH MY GOD!
Saten: I'm sorry!
Derpy: Is that Reggie!? DID YOU STAB REGGIE!?
Saten: It was an accident!
Derpy: How can it be an accident!?
Saten: I'M SOR-