The Richardsons
(Applause)
Starring Howard
Howard: (Hearing clapping, as he looks up from his newspaper)
Wendy
Wendy: (Startled from the clapping)
Oscar
Oscar: (Looks around his bedroom as he hears clapping)
Megan
Megan: (Takes off her headphones to hear the clapping)
And Bob
Bob: (Smiles)
The Richardsons is filmed in front of a live studio audience
(70’s sitcom music plays)
(Camera zooms in on a decrepit house with boarded doors and windows)
(Everyone sitting at the breakfast table, looking as if they are crazy)
Wendy: Howard, what are we gonna-
Howard: Quiet. If we don’t talk, they won’t laugh
(Audience laughs)
Howard: OH GREAT FUCKING JOB, WENDY
Wendy: Well excuse me for talking. As if standing around would have helped. We could have done that, and they still would have laughed
(Audience laughs)
Howard: Well, maybe if you shut that mouth of yours for once, they wouldn’t have a reason to laugh
Wendy: Why should I shut my mouth? Huh? As if you came up with better ideas
Howard: I got an idea. How about I bring my boss in. You always seem to shut your mouth around his cock when I’m playing golf with the others
(Audience laughs)
Wendy: Maybe if you actually loved me like a normal husband, I wouldn’t be seeing him every night
Megan: Can we please just shut up already! I doubt that any of this will help
Howard: Your right. We just need to calm down, and think of a way to get through this
Wendy: Oh yeah, because you come up with great ideas
(Audience laughs)
Howard: ALRIGHT, THAT DOES IT! Mega, Oscar, upstairs
Oscar: (Sitting upstairs with Megan)
Megan: (Looking out the window)
(Downstairs, Howard and Wendy are yelling at each other)
Oscar and Megan: (Sitting still, listening)
(A loud crash can be heard)
Oscar and Megan: ……….
Howard: (Walks in, with Wendy, who now has a black eye) Okay, we were able to patch things up.
Howard: (Sitting in his bedroom, with a bunch of garbage lying around and the windows boarded up)
Oscar: Dad, can we go to the store
Howard: We are not leaving this goddamn house with all that laughing outside
Megan: What about school
Howard: You don’t need school
Oscar: I think I have some kind of disease
Howard: You’ll live
(Audience laughs)
Howard: AH, I CAN’T TAKE THE FUCKING LAUGHING ANYMORE! I’VE HAD ALL I COULD FUCKING TAKE! I’M ENDING THIS HELL ONCE AND FOR ALL (Walks out of the room)
Howard: (Takes a shotgun and kills Oscar, Megan, and Wendy, and then hangs himself)
Audience: ………..
Bob: (Walks in) Hey, Howard, the front door was open and I- (Sees the dead bodies everywhere) …….. Typical Richardsons
Audience: (Laughs)
(Applause)
Starring Howard
Howard: (Hearing clapping, as he looks up from his newspaper)
Wendy
Wendy: (Startled from the clapping)
Oscar
Oscar: (Looks around his bedroom as he hears clapping)
Megan
Megan: (Takes off her headphones to hear the clapping)
And Bob
Bob: (Smiles)
The Richardsons is filmed in front of a live studio audience
(70’s sitcom music plays)
(Camera zooms in on a decrepit house with boarded doors and windows)
(Everyone sitting at the breakfast table, looking as if they are crazy)
Wendy: Howard, what are we gonna-
Howard: Quiet. If we don’t talk, they won’t laugh
(Audience laughs)
Howard: OH GREAT FUCKING JOB, WENDY
Wendy: Well excuse me for talking. As if standing around would have helped. We could have done that, and they still would have laughed
(Audience laughs)
Howard: Well, maybe if you shut that mouth of yours for once, they wouldn’t have a reason to laugh
Wendy: Why should I shut my mouth? Huh? As if you came up with better ideas
Howard: I got an idea. How about I bring my boss in. You always seem to shut your mouth around his cock when I’m playing golf with the others
(Audience laughs)
Wendy: Maybe if you actually loved me like a normal husband, I wouldn’t be seeing him every night
Megan: Can we please just shut up already! I doubt that any of this will help
Howard: Your right. We just need to calm down, and think of a way to get through this
Wendy: Oh yeah, because you come up with great ideas
(Audience laughs)
Howard: ALRIGHT, THAT DOES IT! Mega, Oscar, upstairs
Oscar: (Sitting upstairs with Megan)
Megan: (Looking out the window)
(Downstairs, Howard and Wendy are yelling at each other)
Oscar and Megan: (Sitting still, listening)
(A loud crash can be heard)
Oscar and Megan: ……….
Howard: (Walks in, with Wendy, who now has a black eye) Okay, we were able to patch things up.
Howard: (Sitting in his bedroom, with a bunch of garbage lying around and the windows boarded up)
Oscar: Dad, can we go to the store
Howard: We are not leaving this goddamn house with all that laughing outside
Megan: What about school
Howard: You don’t need school
Oscar: I think I have some kind of disease
Howard: You’ll live
(Audience laughs)
Howard: AH, I CAN’T TAKE THE FUCKING LAUGHING ANYMORE! I’VE HAD ALL I COULD FUCKING TAKE! I’M ENDING THIS HELL ONCE AND FOR ALL (Walks out of the room)
Howard: (Takes a shotgun and kills Oscar, Megan, and Wendy, and then hangs himself)
Audience: ………..
Bob: (Walks in) Hey, Howard, the front door was open and I- (Sees the dead bodies everywhere) …….. Typical Richardsons
Audience: (Laughs)
#1: SLIPKNOT - SNUFF:
Very calm and beautiful sounding.
That's very unusual for Slipknot.
But in a a good way..
#2: POETS OF THE FALL - CARNIVAL OF RUST:
She has no idea about THE HAPPY SONG.
This the only song I showed her..
#3: METALLICA - NOTHING ELSE MATTERS:
She loves this song actually.
And knows how obsessed I am with metallica so she knows how crazy they get..
#4: KORN - HATER:
Well... I tried. But she hates Korn all together.
I could understand why though. Their pretty "out there"..
Very calm and beautiful sounding.
That's very unusual for Slipknot.
But in a a good way..
#2: POETS OF THE FALL - CARNIVAL OF RUST:
She has no idea about THE HAPPY SONG.
This the only song I showed her..
#3: METALLICA - NOTHING ELSE MATTERS:
She loves this song actually.
And knows how obsessed I am with metallica so she knows how crazy they get..
#4: KORN - HATER:
Well... I tried. But she hates Korn all together.
I could understand why though. Their pretty "out there"..
#1: SATEN TWIST:
Not only is Saten known of his high tempter.
He can also be known for being very sarcastic.
Sometimes laughing at people's misfortunes (especially people he doesn't like).
And sometimes making rude comments towards his enemies..
#2: DERPY:
Saten's Tomboyant Cousin.
Sarcasm is something she usually becomes quick to use..
#3: SPIKE:
(same as the REAL Spike)..
#4: DITTO:
Do to his dark sense of comedy it is obvious he takes delight in people's misery.
And usually makes wise ass remarks about positions their in, and the stupidity of many people he's involved with as a police chief..
#5: APPLEJACK:
(on occasion)..
Not only is Saten known of his high tempter.
He can also be known for being very sarcastic.
Sometimes laughing at people's misfortunes (especially people he doesn't like).
And sometimes making rude comments towards his enemies..
#2: DERPY:
Saten's Tomboyant Cousin.
Sarcasm is something she usually becomes quick to use..
#3: SPIKE:
(same as the REAL Spike)..
#4: DITTO:
Do to his dark sense of comedy it is obvious he takes delight in people's misery.
And usually makes wise ass remarks about positions their in, and the stupidity of many people he's involved with as a police chief..
#5: APPLEJACK:
(on occasion)..