Canada24's club.. Article: Canada24 RE-Reviews Cannibal Halocoast

posted by Canada24

Looking back at my reviews of disturbing films just to please readers.
* Neckromantic
* Pink Flamingo
* Surgo Film
* I spit on your grave
* Cannibal Halocoast

WindWaker pointed out my laziness of just reposting Wiki plot summaries.. Hiding the fact I couldn't stomach ANY of these films. Just watching various youtube reviews.

Either way. I actually DO have stuff to say about Cannibal Halocoast.. So lets give a REAL review of a film that left the world with the reaction of..

So, first off.. The director is a complete sadist. Made them kill REAL animals simply to make "realistic".. This deeply upset the cast.

And the main girl refused to show her tit during a sex scene.. So the director mistreats her.

Plus there's the fact he told none of the cast to appear in public, to make it seem more real.. Which as we all know, TOTALLY never backfires into him being accused of murder..

So now the movie.. There's a large broken base of this film.. is it a clever communtary.. Or is it just a hypercritical piece of garbage..

It's both.. Allen's crew is purposely protrayed as complete monsters. Espically Allen.. The actor protraying him actually felt really upset and uncomfortable about protraying such a person as Allen.. Not helped by the forced animal killing..

But truth is, the tribe is no better in the end.. One of their members is raped.. So they impale her though a spike, and publically display her..

And than they gang rape the girl from the crew. Even though "rape" is their whole reason for being so fucking pissed in the first place..

And this is followed by deeply DEEPLY disturbing deaths of the rest of the crew.

Even the death of Allen. No doubt the most karmatic death ever. Only leaves me feeling deeply uncomfortable. Rather than the satisfied feeling your no doubt your suppose to feel..

Either way.. Not sure what to say..

Watch this movie if you want. But it's very uncomfortable and... Weird.

Jimmy Tatro - THAT DRUNK GUY

added by Canada24

video

tatro

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Top 20 REAL questions and answers on Yahoo... (WARNING: mature humor involved)

posted by Canada24

1:
QUESTION: How do you hide a boner?
ANSWER: You get a girl to hide it in

2:
QUESTION: Is lion king based on a true story?
ANSWER: Yes cause I know LOTS of talking lions

3:
QUESTION: Is is normal to be in love with your dog?
ANSWER: You need to see a therapist

4:
QUESTION: What's a fun site for 13 year old girls?
ANSWER: Redtube..

(redtube is porn site.. don't ask me how I know that)

5:
QUESTION: How did the cow milking routine get started?
ANSWER: I'm guessing there was a cow molester..

6:
QUESTION: How do I know I'm really my kid's mother?
ANSWER: Lord help this woman

7:
QUESTION: How do I become sarcastic?...

Fluttershy meets Flutters. Shydale

added by Canada24

My Little Pornstar Episodes 14 15 & 16

posted by Seanthehedgehog

This is a parody of My Little Pony. The voice actors for the mane 6 are..

Ice Cube - Twilight Sparkle
Kath Soucie - Rainbow Dash
Sargent Schultz from Hogan's Heroes - Pinkie Pie
Wally from The Cleveland Show - Fluttershy
Tabitha St. Germain - Rarity
Ashleigh Ball - Applejack

Now, let's begin with the intro

Theme song: link

Japanese Men: *Singing* My Rittre Pornstar. My Rittre Pornstar. Ah ah ah ah, My Rittre Pornstar.
Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be.
Japanese Men: My Rittre Pornstar.
Twilight: Then I found out it was for faggots.
Rainbow Dash: I think I can.
Pinkie Pie: I'm German!
Rarity:...

3

ROCK ISLAND HORRORS: Part 4:

posted by Canada24

Last chapter for the night.. It does contain one of my biggest "don't fuck with Johnny K!" moments...

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Johnny follows the compass, and before long it points to a waterfall, once at the location, he sees Buck again.

"Y -You put a tracker on me didn't you~!?" Johnny cried, offically creeped out.

"Hey, your my favorite pupil" Buck said, getting closer, Johnny holds him back.

"Hey, keep away from me!" Johnny said, showing that this point Johnny is actually kinda frightened of Buck's ability of always appearing. It's almost supernatural....

1

Saten Twist Aventures Halloween special (without Saten Twist himself in this one)

posted by Canada24

So Scootaloo, the little orange filly with purple hair and eyes is seen riding the school bus with Sweetie Belle and AppleBloom. The sisters of Rarity and AppleJack. AppleBloom is yellow with ginger hair. Swwetie Belle is white with green eyes, her hair is a little harder to describe.

Anyway, suddenly the bus falls out of control and crashes into a truck. Scootaloo wakes up screaming. Revealed to be on Rarty's couch. As AppleBloom likely had the guest bedroom. Why they slept at Rarity's is anyone's guess, besides there friendship to Belle.

At breakfast Scootaloo is seen shaking at the breakfast...

My Little Pornstar Episode 6

posted by Seanthehedgehog

This is a parody of My Little Pony. The voice actors for the mane 6 are..

Ice Cube - Twilight Sparkle
Kath Soucie - Rainbow Dash
Sargent Schultz from Hogan's Heroes - Pinkie Pie
Wally from The Cleveland Show - Fluttershy
Tabitha St. Germain - Rarity
Ashleigh Ball - Applejack

Now, let's begin. Twilight was giving a lecture to everypony.

Twilight: Okay y'all. I'm the most important pony in this shithole of a town, and you know it. The fact that-
Pinkie Pie: *Running towards Twilight* Herr Kommandant!! Herr Kommandant!!
Twilight: Man, I'm in da middle of an important lecture!! Everypony wants to hear dis!...

CANADA24 REVIEWS GROWN UPS 2:

posted by Canada24

So I have gotten a request from WindWaker430.. Review Adam Standler movies..

Well, least he's not making me watch Sebian Film again..

I suppose I could do this.. I like Adam Standler.. And thankfully, I don't have to review 12 Crazy Nights. Wind is gonna do that one.. Cause if I have to sit though 12 Angry Nights. Than deal off..

I still remember Grown Ups when first came out.. When I saw Adam Standler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, and David Spade, all in the cover. I was excited.. Not ironically.. I really was excited to see this movie.

So of coarse, my only reason to see that movie was to...

TOP 5 DISTURBING THINGS I FOUND IN LORD OF THE RINGS

posted by Canada24

#1: THE RING ITSELF:
He/She seems to have a personality of it's own.
It corrupts you. you want it even if you don't know why.
This is best shown in the beginning of Return of the King, when Smeagul and his cousin became immediately hostile towards each other..

#2: MURDOR:
The way Boromir describes it to the Council of Elrond. Despite inspiring one of the most classic memes..

#3:
The shot from the prologue of the men who will become the Nazgul, each holding a ring and standing in almost robotic uniformity, in contrast to the natural movements of the elves and the dwarves in the previous shots. And...

Canada24 reviews THE SIXTH SENSE

posted by Canada24

Spoiler review..

So this has to be one of the most famish ghost movies I could think of..

I wish I could go into this not knowing the twist.. But I been "Bruce Willis was dead all along" for my entire life.. As well as "I see dead people" memes..

But fact is. This movie really is "that good".

Bruce Willis has been known for the action films lke DIE HARD, at the time. He never did such a quite role.. But it really was some of the best acting I seen from Willis.. Just like Mel Gibson in Signs.. Which I still don't get why everyone hates that movie.. Espically after Chris Stuckmann's review..

Anyway.....

8 awesome Squidward moments

posted by Canada24

I read my article POOR SQUIDWARD.. And doing this to show his brief moments of epicness

TOP EIGHT AWESOME SQUIDWARD MOMENTS

#1: PIZZA DELIVERY:
SpongeBob finally got the pizza to the customer, who proceeds to bitch and scream about how they didn't bring him a drink (which he totally didn't order) and refuses to take the pizza. SpongeBob returns to Squidward in hysterical tears, and Squidward — who, mind you, despises SpongeBob — goes back to the customer..
Customer: Another one? Look, I told your little friend I ain't payin' for that!
Squidward: Well, this one's on the HOUSE! (slams pizza box...

Top Ten most hated villains

posted by Canada24

#1: ROY EARLE - LA NOIRE:
Earle has little respect for others. This is evident from various racist and misogynistic remarks that he makes throughout the game.

Earle is also an opportunist. He stole a roll of money worth $1,000 which was actually evidence, after claiming "the department owed him fifty," when the department only owed him $20. He also evidently took bribes and had a personal stake in the fixed boxing match between Albert Hammond and Kid Galahad. He also tells Phelps in The Black Caesar that he wanted to wrap up the case before he had to actually work overtime instead of just claiming...

1

Top 4 scariest GOOSEBUMPS characters (in MY opinion)

posted by Canada24

I thought I had more... But it's been so damn long..

#1: SLAPPY:

Funny that I was never scared of Slappy back in the day. Looking baxk. He's so perfect a villain., Episcally the episode where he's trying to make everyone think the girl has gone crazy, so nobody believes her. Why? As RL stines "Slappy is the dummy who ironically ain't no dummy". Maniplative, sadistic, and controlling.. Slappy may not look muxh, but he kind of a evil genius.. But he is also so fun to watch. He always a dark verison of comic relief. Even though most of it may not be that funny, but what do you expect from...

1

Red Dead Redemption NIGHTMARE FUEL:

posted by Canada24

#1: THE MYSTERIOUS MAN:
The strange man doesn't seem to be entirely human. He knows a startling amount of John's personal history despite John having no recollection of ever meeting him in the past, and John repeatedly asks who he is, and how he knows John, but the man always avoids the question. In his last encounter with John, he is seen standing by a tree overlooking John's ranch at Beecher's Hope. He cryptically tells John that it's "a beautiful spot". In the Playable Epilogue, it's the excat spot that John, Abigail, and Uncle are buried after the US Army's attack on the ranch.
And even...

1

10 really depressing things about RED DEAD REDEMPTION:

posted by Canada24

1:
Out of all of the Stranger missions, the happiest one has you reunite a zoophile with his favorite horse. Almost all of them are grim and depressing, and when you do the "right" thing, you often end up making people's lives worse. You give Jenny some medicine but she doesn't go with you to town, is left wondering around forever. The guy who you helped make his flying mechine only ends up dying. And Sam slowly loses his mind in his journey to California.

#2:
Birth of the Conservation Movement. You've just killed all but one of the peaceful Sasquatch, and the last one is distraught and begging...

Dumbest characters GTA (not as in I hate them, I mean LITERARY dumb)

posted by Canada24

#5: BRIAN JEREMY:
He has a pretty childish way of agreeing on everything Billy says and does, and once imitated Johnny in a pretty immature way. He's willing to lie, kiss ass, and stab people in the back if it means saving his own skin. And even if you spare him, he later tries to kill you anyway..

#4: JASON MICHAELS:
Yes Jason, keep fucking a Russian Mobster's daughter, and stealing man's expensive vodka. Clearly nothing bad is gonna come from that. Especially when your fully aware of how angry it's making him..

#3: ASHLEY BUTLER:
Her addiction means she'll sleep with anyone to get the next fix,...

Trivia of Canada24.. (Well Wind, you didn't say it was NOT okay to steal your idea)

posted by Canada24

~Personal Information~
-Canada’s birthday is February 11th, 1994, a few days before Valentines.. Not that Valentines day actually MATTERS.
-His’s real name is Connor, but is sometimes called Cons by his friends.. His name Canada24, was originally a inside joke amongst himself, as CANADA24 is his password for anything that EVER needed a password..
-Connor was born a christian. But he doesn't believe very much in Jesus.. Well, at least not the part about him being the son of God.. But he believes the painful death on the cross.. Humans are animals.
-Connor has both Irish blood, french blood.....

CaNADA24 top 5 movies you THINK he would like.. But he doesn't

posted by Canada24

#1: FRIDAY THE 13th, ORGINAL:
I just don't get how THAT gave us Jason Voorhees.. It's so stupid.

#2: KILL BILL:
It's weird.. I just always found this movie TOO action-y.. I don't know if it's Uma Thurman.. The over acting.. The subtitles.. Or just that I had to sit though it over a thousand times..
Either way.. I'll put this movie lower on this, but it's the quickest I could think of.

#3: SAW 3D:
This is when the series became that torture porn you THINK the series started as.. It's stupid.. The movie is stupid.

#4: RESIDENT EVIL:
No thank you..

#5: REVENANT:
Let me clarify.. I DO like this movie.. But I mainly just watch the first half, rarely the second half.
But still.. Leonardo literary had to eat raw meat, crawl in the snow, and get ravaged by a CGI grizzly, to finally get that damn oscar..

1

CANADA24 reviews CANNIBAL HALOCOAST

posted by Canada24

Well.. Shit.. This is what my life has come to.

Reviewing one of the most, sadistic, mean spirited, shit your pants, scary, films ever made..

This film has NO limits.. They legit murdered real animals, cause the diractor is a sadist.. So much so, that he, no joke, was actually arrested and had to prove to a court room that it's only a movie, and that his actors are all fine.

So yeah.. You can all keep watching your Blair Witch Project.. You can keep believing that to be real.. But least nobody got arrested for that one.

Next time someone says "found footage was NEVER scary", maybe so them this...

Another GOOD creepy pasta: KNOCKNG GAME, and AUTOPILOT

posted by Canada24

THE KNOCKING GAME:

I have a friend at MHC who was willing to clean this up and pass it along. I’m not sure NoSleep is the right place for this story. There are no ghosts or anything like that. I just wanted to share a creepy prank someone played on me and my friends.

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Back when I was in high school, we used to play something called the Knocking Game. We’d go out to the abandoned McAllister house after dark, shut ourselves inside, turn off all the lights, and wait. Eventually, there would be a knock at the door. The knocking would get louder and louder until somebody finally chickened out...