My smartass sayings

Sarcasm:
The ability to insult idiots without them realizing it

Love me or hate me
Both are in my favour
If you love me I'll always be in your heart
If you hate my I'll always be in your mind

We'er all mature until someone pulls out bubble wrap

I didn't fall
The floor just needed a hug

You can't always control who comes into your life
But you can control which window you throw them out of

I didn't say it was your fault
I said I was gonna blame you

"swearing"
Because sometimes
"gosh darn"
And
"meanie head"
Just don't cover it

I'd slap you stupid
But there's to much stupid in the way

I have a sick and twisted mind
Wanna be my friend

I love everyone
Some I love to be around
Some I love to avoid
And other I'd love to punch in the face

You are so self!
Your gonna have that body the rest of your life
I just want it for one night

If you don't want a sarcastic answer
Don't ask s stupid question

I'm smiling because your my sibling
I'm laughing because there's nothing you can do about it

Instant nice person
Just add coffee