A list of all of Massie's comebacks :D

"Kuh-laire?"
"Yeah."
"Are you a zit?"
"No".
"Then why are you all covered up?"

"Kristin, are u playing soccer?"
"no?"
"then why do u sound like you want to sock her?"

“Kristen, why don’t you send me a postcard from Morocco?” Massie asked.
“Huh?” Kristin sounded confused.
“It sounds like your swimming in de-Nile.”

“Claire, were your parents lobsters?”
“Uh, no.” Claire pinched her cheeks until they were rosy.
“Then why were you acting so shellfish?”

"Claire, do you work at a grocery store?” Massie asked as she was wrapping her tape measure around her mannequin’s waist.
“Huh? No,” Claire said.
“Then why are checking me out?”

Are you poor?
no
then y aren't you making any cents?

"Claire are you a midget" Massie asked.
no..."
"then why don’t u just get over him?"

"Claire"
"did I invite you to my barbeque?"
"no"
"then why are you grilling me?"

"Derek, are u having a finals flashback?"
"no"
"Then why you desperate to score?"

Claire, did I invite you to my party?
No..
Then why are you all up in my grill?

I love watching a girl do a guy's job
That's what happens then there are no real guys around

"Are you a poor dress maker?
Then why are you ripping off my material?"

Do I look like I'm From Morocco?
No, Why?
Then why do you think I would be Russian? {Rushin}

Are you having a Soccer Finals Flashback?
Because you seem a little desperate to score

am i a vampire? then why are you keeping me in the dark?

Do you work at a grocery store? then why are you checking me out?

Are you having a Soccer Finals Flashback? Because you seem a little desperate to score!

are you from Egypt? then why are you living in de-nile?

Did you join the circus? Cos your acting like a total freak!

Do you work at 411? Cos that was WAY too much information!

Am I a book from the library? Then stop trying to check me out.

Do I sell fertilizer? Then why'd you think I'd give a crap?

IS my name V? Then why would I follow U!

Are you an astronaut? Then why are you spacing?

Are you a goalie? Then why are you trying to block my shot?

Are you on the track team? Then why are you trying to run with this?

Are you asleep? Then why are you dreaming?

Do you have any violent tendencies? Then why were you hitting on ___________?

Are you a LBR with a broken leg? Then stop acting like a sore loser!

Did I order a coffee? Then why are you all up in my mug?

Are you mad at __________? Then why does it sound like you're going to socc-her!

Are you a zit? Then why are you all covered up?

IS my name Dorothy? Then why do you think the Munchkins can help me?

Are you poor? then why aren't you making any cents?

Do I spend eight hours a day behind a desk? Then why would I have the information?

Are you a sweater set? 'Cause you've met you're match!!

Are you a calendar? 'cause your days are numbered!

Are you in a coma? Then what makes you think we're gonna take this lying down?

am i a deck of cards: then why are you playing me?

do you work at 411? because that was way too much information!

are you a sweater set? because you’ve just met your match

do i look like a video game: then why are you playing me?

Is this Freaky Friday?
Then why are you trying to steal my identity?


Have you been hanging with 50 Cent lately?
Then where did you learn to rap?

You should be on ER.
Because you’re about to fall!


Are you a cat?
Then what’s with the litter?

Are you made of saran wrap?
Then why are you acting all clingy?

Are you asleep?
Then why are you dreaming?


Are you an LBR with a broken leg?
Then stop acting like a sore loser

Are you a fisherman?
Then why are you cutting the line?

Are you an astronaut?
Then why are you spacing?

Is my name V?
Then why would I follow U?

Is my birthday (insert yesterdays date)?
Then stop treating me like was born yesterday!

Am I a piece of lint-covered cashmere?
Then why are you brushing me off?

Would you like your egg sunny-side up?
Then beat it!


Have you been swallowing chicken bones?
Then why did you choke?

Are you a hammer?
Because you nailed it!
You got it! Nice job, etc.

Do you play football for Pittsburgh?
Then why are you such a Steeler?
Why are you stealing?