Elle: Chemical accelerant could mean chemistry student.
Reid: It could also mean chemistry professor.
Elle: I say student. You need self-confidence to lecture in front of a classroom full of 30 college kids. Arsonists are socially incompetent. This guy doesn’t go on dates, doesn’t go to parties, doesn’t feel comfortable in front of groups. [Reid looks at Elle] And of course he’s a total psychopath.
Reid: Of course.
Elle: Well, what is the most sinful place on campus?
Morgan: Come on Elle, when I was in college it was everywhere.
Mrs. Walker: Are you single?
Mrs. Walker: I have a word of advice. Don’t marry the first guy that proposes.
Elle: I may have something. Barbara Keller was having some trouble insuring some coins she bought. The insurance company thought they might be fake.
Hotchner: So the insurance company is blowing up annoying clients?
Reid: Do you think it's weird that I knew that ballad?
Elle: Reid, I don't know how you know half the stuff you know, but I'm glad you do.
Reid: Do you think that's why I can't get a date?
Elle: Have you ever asked anyone?
Reid: [Reid shifts his eyes] No.
Elle: That's why you can't get a date.
Elle: [regarding Cheryl claiming that she can feel when something is wrong with her twin] You think Cheryl's a wackjob because she says she can feel her sister's anxiety?
Morgan: I never said wackjob [Reid walks in]
Reid: Actually there may be a physiological basis for it.. reuniting with her sister.
Morgan: Don't ask.
Reid: Reversed egg symmetry, eggs split late between 9 to 12 days, the DNA matches right down to the last stranded code, there are sporadic documents of shared physiological pain.
Morgan: And you believe it?
Reid: No I'm just saying its possible...
Elle: Here's something...[puts her coffee cup on Garcia's desk]...What can you tell me about Vincent Sartori?
[Garcia chucks coffee cup in the bin]
Elle: I was still drinking that.
Garcia: Not only is this equipment expensive, it's also extremely sensitive.
[Spencer and Elle share a weird look]
[Elle is speaking about a criminal's sealed records]
Elle: Can you get into those records?
Spencer: Despite the fact that they were probably expunged, she can find the faintest echo of deletion, successfully recreate the file, thereby sending us all to prison for computer felony fraud counts.
[Elle and Garcia share a weird look]
Elle: We can make bail.
Elle: Um, Reid you probably saved my life in there.
Reid: Probably? I totally saved your life. And I'm pretty certain it's caught on tape.
Elle: Gideon, will you tell him that I don't need to go to the hospital?
Gideon: Regulations are regulations. You all right?
Elle: I'm fine, Dad.
Gideon: Don't ever call me Dad again.
[Gideon walks away]
Elle: I wonder how he'd feel about Mom?
Reid: Let me know when you're going to do that so I can, uh, run.
Elle: You guys, we're here in New York and even when we aren't talking about our case we end up talking about another profiler.
Hotchner: You’re right. So Elle, you seeing anyone?
JJ: At least you get to spend your birthday weekend in Mexico.
Hotch: How do you say 'doghouse' in Spanish?
Reid: La ca-sa del pair-o
Elle: La casita del perro.
Reid: That's what I said
Elle: Face it chico, you are only a genius in English
Morgan: Why are you acting so weird?
Elle: We're sitting with a guy who knows that there are 800 kernels of corn on the average cob...
Reid: ...Arranged in 16 separate rows.
Elle: And you're calling me weird?
Elle: You really don't know someone till you take a road trip with them.
Morgan: What are you trying to say?
Elle: Look at this car, man. There's empty soda cans and fast food wrappers everywhere. You're a slob. You know, back at Quantico your desk was all neat, but I bet if you looked in those drawers you'd find a mess.
Morgan: Okay, we have been on the road way too long.
Morgan: Well, you all right there, Greenaway?
Elle: Go away.
Morgan: See you tomorrow?
Elle: Don't speak.
Jamaican Cop: Where is the victim’s head?
Elle: Well, I must have dropped it on my way in here.
Gideon: Doesn't anybody ever go home?
Elle: You're here.
Gideon: Exactly. Trust me, you don't want to model your social life on mine.
Reid: I thought maybe... you might want to talk.
Elle: Don't go all profiler on me.
Reid: Elle, you got shot in your own home, and then came back to the BAU like nothing even happened. Thinking you might want to talk isn't profiling, it's Psych 101.