Critical Analysis of Twilight Club
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It's called "Daughter of Darkness" by V.C. Andrews.

This book was just aweful. It's about a 17 year old vampire girl named Lorelie Patio (Mary Sue alert!) whos only purpose in life is to be her Daddy's sex slave. This book is filled with shallow evaluations of beauty, anti feminism, poor morals, and disgusting turn of events.

Lorelie has three sisters who are manipulated and emotionally abused by their father. The worst thing about it is that it's never seen as a bad thing. It's disguised as fatherly love. None of the characters recognize the manipulation or abuse. You have to read between the lines to pick up on it. It's almost identical to Twilight here, but at least Bella snapped back at Edward a couple times. Lorelie's father kills her boyfriend and she says "Oh, he's just protecting me because he loves me." She doesn't even get upset.

Literally every other page we're told how beautiful Lorelei is, and half the time it's Lorelie looking in a mirror thinking about how beautiful she is, then she starts complaining that her beauty is a curse because it makes too many boys notice her. Her beauty is so horrible that her teachers even lust after her. She freaks out every time a guy looks at her. Her beauty is described in the mose shallow way imaginable. She's beautiful because she's tall, has large, swelling, perky breasts and soft curly hair. Way to knock down the self esteem of 90% of girls.

At least in Twilight, all the beautiful characters looked different. You have short skinny Alice, tall and curvy Rosalie, huge and buff Emmett, short Jane, awkward and lanky Jasper, matronly and a little pudgy Esme. In Twilight there different types of beauty, in DoD, there's only one. Tall, big books, and curly hair. All the sisters are beautiful, and everyone else is a hag.

Lorelei is the biggest Mary-Sue imaginable. All the girls in school are jealous of her, her sisters are jealous of her, all the boys want her, she doesn't even treat people well and she has a boatload of admirers, which s a lot like a certain Bella we know.

I can't tell what kind of messages it's trying to convey. Stay at home and have no friends. Don't care about school or education. None of that matters if you're incredibly beautiful.

The anti-feminist messages are loud and clear though. Obey your father and only your father. All the girls jump through hoops to impress their father. Even his older sister waits on him hand and foot. He pays her to be his maid!!
Do everything imaginable to please boys. Use your looks and sex appeal to make them happy.
Take 13 year old girls to the beach to teach her how to flirt with college boys. That's her destiny, after all. In twilight, nobody encouraged bella to throw herself at Edward. She did it on her own, but at least she wasn't TRAINED to do it.

Don't get me started on the "vampire legends" in this book. They don't react to the sun at all. Even sparkling is better than nothing. They go out on family vacations to the beach, for crying out loud!! THE BEACH!! In front of everyone!!
They eat regular food. Only the male vampires drink blood, but only once a month, and it's related to their menstrual cycle, whatever the heck that's supposed to mean.

There's no plot, whatsoever. Not even a weak and boring plot like in Twilight. There are no antagonists. No protagonists, no obstacles to overcome. Nobody to fear. No heroes. No climax. No conflict. The only conflict is Lorelei thinking she's too pretty.

The writing is AWFUL!!! twilight doesn't have great writing either, but at least you won't see sentences like "I saw the door open and Ava walked through the door." or "I couldn't sleep to I cleared my mind and tried to sleep."

this book really made me cringe more and more with every page turn, it actually made me want to read Twilight just to bring my IQ back up a few points.
The saddest part is that there's a sequel coming out in 2013.
I fear for humanity.
added by laureng114
Source: The Anti-Twilight Movement
The JK Rowling show...
video
funny
jk rowling
harry potter
craig ferguson
jeffrey tambor
twilight
sketch comedy
stephenie meyer
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Source: tumblr.com
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Source: monorail.net
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Source: NightmareBringer12 (Sodahead)
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Source: unknown
added by Dearheart
Source: Dearheart
added by xxXsk8trXxx
Source: Many people on Deviantart, mostly JezFez81
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Source: wordle.net
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Source: photobucket
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Source: some facebook page
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Source: PuzzleChick @ DeviantArt
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The Volturi are actually kind of cool (Aro's look was... interesting), but Kristen, and *snort* Rob, are just.... *shakes with laughter* too... hilarious!!! *cannot control self any longer and cracks up for a LONG time*
video
edward
robert pattinson
bella
kristen stewart
volturi
fight
lulz
funny
cat
new moon
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Source: Laukik (Funnyjunk.com)
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Source: Random
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Source: jarjarrr @ deviantART
I was searching for the Lama Song without words for a fanpop friend, and came across this which made me LOL. Something both Antis AND Pros can enjoy, I think!
video
twilight
funny
the cullens
the lama song
parody
comedy
added by cassie-1-2-3
Source: twilightfacts@tumblr.com
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Source: twilightfacts.tumblr.com
added by cassie-1-2-3
Source: twilightfacts.tumblr.com