Critical Analysis of Twilight Club
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Credit to _lina_ and cinders, because they did it first. More credit to link because that's where this is from. _lina_ used the same one.

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Number 1: Someone tells you or he admits that he has hit women in the past. He has talked about his killing sprees, he has killed another woman (Yes, she is a vampire. Who cares?) in front of her. Check!

Number 2: He refers to all women he has dated in the past with derogatory terms. He may also refer to his mother using such terms as well. Not sure about checking this one or not. He says she is the first one he dated, but then he talks of Tanya, the denali vampire, in a way that implies he doesn't like her at all. Half check.


Number 3: He tells you of abuse he has witnessed or has been a part of toward women. When asked if he has ever sought counseling, he says, "No, I never felt I needed it." He may feel guilty about it and promise that he won't do it to you. He constantly talks about killing her, but later on he starts saying he could never do it to her. This is something he also does in the opposite way, saying he knows he could kill her. Eh, check!

Finds fault with all your family and friends once you have confided in him about them or he has met them. Later, he will use what he knows against you in an argument. There is a part in the Twilight series, I'm pretty sure it was Eclipse, that Bella talks to edward about not wanting to talk to charlie about going to Florida. Edward then goes ahead and tells charlie about it. Half check. if you want to comment and tell me why it shouldn't be here, or should be a full check, please do.

Number 4:Shows up unannounced at your job, home, or places you visit (may lead to stalking). May offer to take you to any of these places on a daily basis so that you may grow dependent on him. Hmmmmm.... Seriously. He breaks into her room at night and watches her sleep. He also drives her everywhere, even when she blatantly refuses. Major check!

Number 5: Calls you often wanting to know your plans and in some cases you may have already told him, but he may be checking to see if your story has changed. He expects you to call him wherever you go and will become angry if you don't. Moments in breaking Dawn come to mind. Ditto with Eclipse. The second part (He expects you to...) is probably more fitting then the first, but it still works. Check!

Number 6: He doesn't like who he is and makes regular references about himself as being "stupid," "ugly," "dumb," and asks you, "Why do you want to be with me?" He will also resort to name calling whether he is arguing with you or "just being funny." _lina_ nailed this on the head. If you exchange "stupid", "ugly", and "dumb" for "murderer", "monster," and "killer", it works perfectly. The "Why do you want to be with me?" explains itself.

Number 7: He attempts to control money you have earned and abuses possessions that you have acquired. He often asks for financial assistance, takes over your car and tells you how you should conduct your household. He may encourage you to live with him so that he can further control you. A bit skeptical about this one. He doesn't ask for financial assistance or how to conduct her householf. However, he does buy her a new car and expects her to use it. Plus: the new car is missile proof. MISSILES. Also, Edward sets up Bella and Alice for sleepovers many times for when he leaves to go eat a mountain lion. Half check.

Number 8: He threatens to commit suicide when you try to break up with him. Self explanatory. He literally attempted suicide. Check!

Number 9: He threatens to kill you over anything from wanting to end the relationship to talking to other men. Well, he does get very, very mad at her when she talks to other guys, in particular, Jacob. Another half check.

Number 10: When he is angry with you he keeps you in a room with no access to a phone. He may lock you in the room. Pretty much, he makes Alice kidnap her. He also took the engine out of her car once. check.

Number 11: When you want to visit with a friend, go out to the movies or some other past time, he oftentimes vehemently objects or he uses tactics to make you feel guilty so that you will stay home. I already mentioned that he took part of the engine out of her car. This was to keep her from seeing Jacob, he best friend. Check.

Number 12: He will try to convince you that he is sorry for what he has done and will never do it again, only to do it again, and again. Pretty darn much. Check.



I hope now you see the light and that, yes, Edward is abusive. If you want to say why one of these should have been a Check!, a half-check, or nothing at all please say why in the comments. If you have more reasons Edward is abusive, that is also a good place to put it.
This is under 'opinion' so please don't send any hate, it's just a though I had.

I have read various explainations both on this site and others about things antis point out as plot holes. (Ex: Renessme, Imprinting, Vampire Transformation, ect.) And I think that it's great that some people do think it through and don't just take it because it is what was written. What I don't understand is why you should have too.

In my mind, when an author creates a story with a new or different breed of creature they should explain it atleast to some degree.

I'm not saying she needs to explain every little thing,...
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posted by XxGigglesxX
1. Twilight is the product of an immature writer. It reads like something out of my notebook from freshman year.
2. The only difference between Twilight and fanfiction.net is marginally better grammar.
3. And even that isn’t so great sometimes. English major fail.
4. I’ve read fanfiction that is lightyears better than Twitripe.
5. The prose is purple amethyst! Deep, luscious, dazzling amethyst that scintillates and glitters incandescently in the sun!
6. Not to mention, it’s also insanely repetitive.
7. THESAURUS ABUSE! Fancy words are not necessarily better words.
8. The storyline is trite and...
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Why this hater doesn't like Twilight.....
video
twilight
vampires
criticism
critical analysis
stephenie meyer
added by marthatsal
posted by TriaRose
Dear Ms. Meyer,

Hi. I’m Tria. It’s nice to meet you. As you have probably guessed, I am writing to you concerning your series known as “The Twilight Saga.” If you’ll forgive me for being rude, I’d like to be blunt.

You fail.

Again, apologies for my rudeness. If you’ll allow me, I’m going to back up this assumption of your literary failure.

Let’s start with the plots, looking at each book individually, and then the books as a whole.
Twilight: Barely has a plot. The book is 300 or so pages of nothing happening besides mooning on about Edward and his eyes. Then you throw in three...
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After reading the post "Bella as a heroine should be illegal" by bendaimmortal, it got me thinking. Obviously, no-one would consider Bella Swan a heroine. If you do, you have got a really great deal of imagination, or a warped sense of the world. Because, and I'm sure most Twilight fans would agree, the girl didn't do anything at all. Save being overly dramatic and being the damsel in distress.

What about the Cullens then? What about Carlisle, Alice, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett? What about He-Who-Sparkles-In-Broad-Daylight? Would they be considered heroes/heroines?

No.

I say that the Cullens...
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Note: It’s important for me to communicate that I don’t know the author of Twilight or her family personally and I do not intend them any insult; this article is purely academic speculation inspired by a story which will remain a timeless work of art. It is the emotional accessibility of the work which makes commentary such as this possible. I may be projecting the whole thing… But that’s exactly why Twilight is so successful, because it invites us so welcomingly into the story!

Every fan knows the story of the Twilight Saga.
There are many theories as to what makes the story such a pop-culture...
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As a fan of Twilight, I am part of a lot of related spots and discussions. However, as a Jacob & Bella fan, I often find myself disagreeing with most of the opinions of Twilight fans. In this article I'll go through some comments I've read (slightly altered - don't want anyone out to get me!) and why I disagree with them. It's really just an informal rant. :P

'Edward & Bella have things in common unlike Jacob & Bella'

... What exactly? Let me guess: Classical music? Bella knows one song and suddenly they have something in common. They both read? When do we actually read of Bella reading...
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Soo, I read Twilight in 2005 and seriously thought it was the best thing I'd ever read, and never thought I'd read anything better. How young and stupidly naive I was!

When I first bought it, it was treasured, as were New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn & all the money wasting merchandise I purchased to. But over the past 2 years, I've seen the fan base grow and grow and GROW into something that is just pretty hectic and down right ridiculous.

I personally feel sorry for the cast, especially Robert Pattinson. Poor guy, can't even walk out his front door without being mobbed. There's such thing...
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As someone who liked vampires before the fad started I'm one of the many people who dislikes the Twilight vampires. And thinks they should be reclassified as pixies. Or that at least Zombie Bram Stoker should go have a serious talk with Stephenie Meyer about vampires... What do you mean Bram Stoker hasn't risen as a zombie in protest to the Twilight vampires? Why don't you go prove it? I'll wait...

...

...They didn't come back, so I'm assuming Zombie Bram ate their brains. We'll have to carry on without them. Anyway, I must admit Meyerpires are an interpretation of the vampire myth I just don't...
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*A lot of people may here may freak out on me for asking this but I really need some help*

Okay, I have been wondering about this for such a long time. And now, I absolutely want an answer!!

I have been Team Switzerland since the end of New Moon. I really like both Edward and Jacob, and I have no huge problems with them. (Well, ok, there's one issue I have with both but it evens out the score and I am not getting into those). But after some point, I began to wonder...which team would I be on if I really had to choose? It soon became something important for me to know, and every time I see a...
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Disclaimer: The title of the article may seem to be a bit strange, as most of my articles that I have posted on here are usually issues I have with the Twilight Saga, but I decided that myself as an anti, wanted to write about things I actually do like about the series. Guarantee, I actually do think Stephanie Meyer did create some characters in this series, and I just wanted to list my Top 8. This will be in no particular order.
* * *
Jasper Hale

If hypothetically, I were to meet the Cullen, I would think that Jasper would be the only one I probably be remotely afraid of in any sort of way. Or...
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posted by KateKicksAss
I found these online, and thought they were kinda funny, :)
Credit: wiki answers, wattpad.com, b l o g s p o t.com


How many Twilighters does it take to screw on a light bulb?
I don't know, they're all too busy fighting over who gets to be Mrs Cullen

What happened when Emmett Cullen stubbed his toe?
He made the whole city collapse!

Rosalie Hale was told to find something just as or more beautiful then herself. She came back with a mirror!

How do you stop Jacob Black from attacking you?
You pick up a stick, throw it and yell "fetch"!

How do you irritate Edward Cullen?
Buy him a dog and call it Jacob!

Why...
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A hilarious BD spoof. Jacob is hungry for Renesmee's love...and a McFlurry, :P
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parody
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breaking
dawn
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added by maritina12345
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eclipse
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rotten tomatoes show
added by Mallory23
Source: http://fuckyeahtwilightsucks.tumblr.com/
I’ve read many lists pointing out Twilight “Plot Holes”, but more often than not, the lists aren’t very valid at all. Half of them are usually just complaints, pointing out something they don’t like about Twilight (Example:” Why would vampires go to high school?”, or “Why does Bella have so many friends?”). The rest are just factually incorrect, or can be logically theorized. These are usually followed by “Stephenie Meyer obviously ditched history class”, or “Hasn’t Stephenie ever heard of logic?”, or my personal favorite, “I would know, I had a lesson about it...
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Contains strong language. It's not an anti video if you don't mind the lulz.
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twilight
funny
parody
hitler
breaking dawn
stephenie meyer
dazzling
criticism