If you have ever doubted the insanity of the C.A.T. Kittens, this will cease your doubts. I think it got long enough to be put into article forum thread. This makes absolutely no sense, does have swearwords, includes lots exremely odd things, and is kind of innapropriate. You've been warned.
One day Bella fell over while being chased by Steve the Spider, while Edward and Jacob were kissing. Pausing every once in a while to get a dazzling breath when Alice walked in on them and said - "Edward, what are you doing? You know Bella is over there. Wait...you're GAY?"
"Yes, but don't tell Bella because she'll slap me and whine endlessly and probably try staking me and fall over nothing."
"I'LL EAT HIM!" said Alice butchly.
She walked over to Edward and started confessing that she had crafted special BBQ sauce.
"Impressive. Can I pour it in that bowl over there of chicken?" Edward asked. "Sure" so then she grabbed her sauce but instead of pouring it, she threw it on Bella. "Yummy, That'll make Jazz so happy and sexy".
So then Bella ate herself and Jake and Eddy started screaming "why didn't you kiss me before you met Bella?" "Well, I didn't because I didn't know I was a lesbian until Bella killed Steve the spider"
Everyone stopped and looked at her while she cried "Bella! My love! Please, please don't eat the carcass!"
Bella ate him and Eddy screamed "I NEED TOILET!" So then Eddy grabbed Jacob and dazzled him with another fucking kiss with mega tongue and lower fondling that made Bella throw up all over Eddy's hair. Then Carlisle came in ranting about how to kill a demented cockroach. A humongous boot randomly came and toppled Carlisle over while Rosalie and Alice made out.
Emmett took off stealing the couch saying, "Score! I got Jasper!" Then he killed Renesmee and Jacob started break dancing in a red thong to 'I'm Blue' while eating snails and also eating Renesmee's carcass. Pogo stick here, pogo stick there, BOOM! Goes the pogo stick!
Esme then sang cheesecake love, meanwhile Carlisle ran away into the bathroom while the Queleutes fought Albus Dumbledore! Dumbledore won by using Avada Kadavra the green light of a lightsaber that flashed in the sky,, Voldemort ran after Edward screaming “Cedric I gonna finish you!” while Hermionie kicked ron into a fight with Emmett… Rosalie meanwile was arguing with luna (lovegood) about nargles. Eddy ran from Voldy accedently into the about the author page s.meyer screamed “EDWARD MARY ME NOW OR I SWEAR I'LL FEED YOU TO LOADS OF TWIHARDS!"
Edward said "I'LL MARRY YOU!" So s.meyer wrote "I AM IMPRINTING ON YOU!" Edward started crying "Bella my love it was always sucks to talk to you but Smeyer must
bella said "No! Our love everlasts!"
So Alice and Jasper went to the supermarket to buy dinner for Edward's Godzilla named Chuckles.
Meanwhile Edward proposed to carlise eventhough Carlisle is already a sumo wrestler. Esme found out and bit Edward. So he danced while kissing Carlisle. Jacob said "Bella you are very scintillating and incandescant."
Meanwhile Edward and Rosalie sparkle fought over a micro pig with hairy tails and many ears and blue fur which Rupert Grint said was totally gay and pubescent but also scrumptious, as he ate many bacon rolls while sumoing carlisle to dance like a headless chicken. jacob and renesmee hat each other,, they all sparkle with diamondy elegance and rainbow like lasers shooting out of their eyes.
So Emmett ran into the all repeatedly. Until Rosalie slapped him sane. So Eddie was with child when Bella exploded by turning into a giant headless monkey. Kumkuats fell on Carlisle, screaming insanely because Charlie's moustache tickled his sparkly peppa pig teddy.
Until Bella stabbed Charlie's peppa pig, Angela came in and cried ovr the spilled cornflakes, until she confessed "I'm a witch." Then Jacob said, "ME TOO! OMG!"
I'll update this in... a certain amount of posts. link
This whole story is the work of: CULLEN-HALE (The original poster), Myf_1992, Asvini, Pleniluno, moo000, PMT, Dearheart, ilovecreed_13, Cinders, xXSweeneyXx, Mrs-Grint, crazyduds2, OCFan123, kayleebabee, snoznoodle, Frizzhead, xxXsk8trXxx, twilight4ever-4, Free_Spirit, and himynameisEPIC. If I forgot anyone, please tell me.
(That took FOREVER.)