Now, I understand the anger some Delena fans have with Elena's character as of late. I just wanted to address some things.
First, about how Elena was quick to forgive Stefan for what he's done while it took a complete season for Elena to forgive Damon for all the bad things he did to her: I didn't like it either, but Elena has always had the easy-to-forgive/compassionate nature. I thought it would've been appropriate too for Stefan to grovel like Damon did during S2, but, both of her relationships with Damon & Stefan are different. IMO, her quick forgiveness of Stefan means, it may or may not come back to bite her. Plus, she does understand that Stefan hates himself. Also, she wants to hang onto some of her feelings for Stefan, because it's more than obvious that she still hasn't dealt with her emerging feelings for Damon. What better way than to try to push Stefan to care as a distraction? Holding onto what she can, though it isn't going to work.
Elena forgiving Damon over a whole season is the beauty of their relationship. It's so powerful (especially the emotions that Damon evokes from her). I just see it as more meaningful for them in the long run, since it brings more future happy moments, since it's a slow burn, whereas, like Stelena's love story was quick, plus the forgiveness, so does the consequences of that. Delena are never quick, & it kills me sometimes to see their relationship move at the pace it has been, but it also makes me want to tune in to see more, because their relationship is a magnet. It's different from a lot of the love stories I've seen in a long time. It's slow, messy, full of angst, sweet, different, powerful, meaningful, true, & knowing one another COMPLETELY.
Elena's iffiness about the meaning of their first real kiss: It's just simply Elena processing how she feels. Like it's been said time & time again, she's in denial. I strongly believe that, when she said to Stefan in 2x20 that she didn't truly know what love was, she's experiencing it right now, with Jeremy leaving town, her parents & Jenna being gone, Stefan refusing to let love in, she & Alaric's closeness, on the outs with Bonnie/Caroline, & her growing love for Damon. It's all overwhelming, especially for an 18 year old. I'm not surprised that she hasn't stopped to think about how she's feeling, since it's always been a slow pace with Damon, & all of the things (& the Originals), that she's experiencing. I'm sure she'll have a wakeup call before the end of the season of how she feels about the kiss as well as her overall feelings for Damon.
Elena's response to Damon's love in 3x14: Like she said (I believe her): she didn't mean it. Albeit, not the right thing to say, but she was getting frustrated with just trying to get to see Esther, which has backfired, but it's nothing to hate her for. Everyone says things they don't mean.
Note: I personally don't get the hate for Elena at all, because, if you truly love Delena as a ship, yeah you're going to get mad at one character or the other, but to give up for one tiny thing, & hate one-half of the ship? Too much IMO. I'm not trying to generalize, but, in my case, I get ticked off with some things BOTH Elena & Damon do, but I refuse to give up on them. Loving one-half of the ship while hating the other doesn't show true shipping of a ship, IMO. It shows ship Damon/happiness only or Elena/happiness only.
I notice that some DE fans complain about Stelena fans only shipping Stefan/happiness, & calling Elena names, thus not fully shipping their ship. Well, the same thing goes for shipping Delena too. I won't bash Elena, since she's my favorite character. Mad at her, yes, but being too bitter, & only see it from Damon's p.o.v.? No. I'm not saying how you should ship them. It just bugs me, that some bash Elena so bad on here sometimes, thus only caring about Damon, instead of caring about both characters, & understand where EACH are coming from. Damon has done worse things too, but still love him. I refuse to give up on Elena too, who still loves Stefan, but whom I strongly believe is in love with Damon already, but is in the denial stage. It may or may not take something harsh to bring it out, just like the *I like you now, just the way you are* line came out while he was *dying*.
Have faith, Delena family! <3 them both. No offense intended. Just iffy about all the constant negativity. Spreading DE/TVD love. =D