“I know the RISKS but I have to know her”- Stefan 1x01
“I want you to GET everything YOU LOOKING FOR” – Damon 3x22 flash back

The first time both brothers saw/met Elena and saw theresembles between her and Katherine, both brothers deal with it differently. “saint” Stefan knowing that he’s a vampire with human blood control problem knowing that he would be putting her in danger just by being what he is,still hedecided to come into her life because she looked like Katherine he didn’t care the FACT that she’s a normal human girl who’s in dark about the truth (supernatural creatures do exist) and just being in her life he would change her life forever he would make her realize that the world is a scarier place than she knows that every nightmare any normal person ever had about monsters is actually real. I mean come on get real how long did he think he can lie to her and pretend to be an ordinary teenager? He long did he really think that he can hide the FACT he didn’t met her by coincidence? How long did he think he can hide the TRUTH about Katherine and the FACT he went after her (Elena) because she looked like her? Or the FACT that she was adopted? I mean did he really think he can DECEIVE her forever, what did he really think she wouldn’t pick up the signs?The thing is he did KNOW, “I KNOW THE RISKS BUT I have to know her”, he knew that he would have to lie to her, hide secrets from her,and DECEIVE her YET he took that risk anyway because HE wanted to came into her life for his own SELFISH reasons because HE wanted to restore his lost love (Katherine) no matter what was the cost was, because if it was just about finding love again he would have picked any other girl but he picked Elena because she looked like Katherine.

Damon on the other hand saw this normal teenage girl who looked like he’s lost love, and knew that if was in her in life he would just disturb a normal girl’s life for no reason so instead of disturbing her life he wished her that she get everything she’s looking for and made her forget ever meeting him (yes he did because he didn’t want anyone in town he was there but he didn’t have to compelle her to wish her getting everything she’s looking for) he didn’t have to do that, he was in MF for months and he didn’t think of stalking her he didn’t even come near her until “saint” Stefan made his move playing a teenage boy and he only did it because he just wanted to torcher Stefan for making turned into a vampire without Katherine, it was more about Damon’s issues with Stefan pretending to be all goody good and making him look like the evil brother.

“I love you Elena, and it’s because I love you I CAN’T be SELFISH with you” – Damon to Elena 2x08
“Saint” Stefan & Elena fake a break up in 2x04-2x05

Katherine told “saint” Stefan to break up with Elena or she will make Elena’s life hard, and yet instead of doing the RIGHT thing and protracting Elena from any chance of danger he yet AGAIN did what he WANTED and not the best for Elena, I mean Katherine just told him she tricked her best friend to be captured by the founders because she doesn’t like lose ends he knows how smart she is how deceitful she is, so why in the world would he take that RISK with the whole fake breakup which no-one and I mean no-one believed it for one second expect for Caroline and that’s because she wanted to believe it because she was afraid what Katherine might do to matt if she disappointed her. What he did was SELFISH, he didn’t think it through he just did what he WANTED didn’t matter to him theconsequences of that selfish act again and guess what Jenna almost died.All because he did whatever his heart desired no matter the consequences.

Damon he knew he would just burden Elena with his feelings for her, that it would make things much harder and confusing for her, that she would feel awkward around him, he knew that it would put her in more danger (their enemies can easily use his love for her) so he made her forget even though it broke his heart he did it to keep her happy, safe and let her have uncomplicated life as much as possible, he yet again put her needs, safety and happiness above his own, he let go of the only person he LOVES & WANTS as long as it meant she’s alive and well he CARED MORE ABOUT SHE WANTS & NEEDS THAN HIS OWN needs.

2x20 Damon: forced her drink his blood
Stefan: LET her go with Klaus

Ok now I know all of you TVD fans agree that what Damon did was wrong I do too, but so was Stefan for LETTING go of her that easily. Yes Damon made a mistake so what?? Stefan made 100 mistakes (forcing Damon to turn against his will, lying to Elena, hiding his riper side, hiding the fact Elena was adopted, making Damon look like the monster when in fact he was, trying to trick Katherine which led to Jenna almost dying……) and nobody ever said anything about it or even question him about it, no its all oh poor Stefan. Damon only made that mistake because he’s walking around trying everything he KNOWS to save Elena’s life and all he sees from the people around her is “respecting” her decision CRAP and trusting someone (Elijah) who few weeks ago they killed him because they didn’t trust him and now they are suppose to trust this stranger with a “magical” elixir that’s not 100% reliable to bring her back to life, he has to see everyone who loves and wants to save Elena trust something that unreliable and not question it because she said so. Of course he got mad and forced her, his blood the thing he’s sure of, he’s sacrificing his own happiness for nothing that would drive anyone mad and make them burst out and do something stupid, but guess what the mint he did it he knew he made a terrible mistake and tried to make up for it, he did everything he could do to STOP the sacrifice, despite the FACT Klaus warned him not to screw it up, when he learned that Stefan LET Klaus take Elena he went to Klaus trying to piss him off or distract him anything to stall the sacrifice from happing.

Stefan on the other hand, accepted that the sacrifice is happing, but all of his faith on the “magical” elixir given by Elijah (a vampire that he doesn’t trust) and didn’t think of making another plan or another choice instead of trying to postpone the sacrifice, he prepared Elena for it by taking her for a walk instead of coming up with a new idea to save her life he made her look back and realize how short her life is, how she doesn’t know what is to really be in love with someone, how much she longs for a normal life, when Klaus came he didn’t even TRY to fight him or stand in his way he just accepted what’s about to happen and CLOSED his freaking eyes, all of you TVD fans say what good would have it done if Stefan fought Klaus he would only get himself killed, so what at least he would have died trying to stop him (even if it was losing battle). Damon did it he screwed things for Klaus (or at Klaus plan A) not only that he went to Klaus face to face to tell him that he screwed up his plan, that he had ruined for him the thing he wanted for 1000 years.

2x20 Damon forced Elena his blood to GIVE a chance to service the sacrifice
3x11 Stefan forced Elena his blood for REVENGE

“For me the nail in the coffin for SE was last episode. Stefan used one of the WORST moments in Elena's life AGAINST her...just to GAIN the UPPER HAND on Klaus. I'm not even going to get into what he did and how I feel about it or even compare it to what Damon did in 2x20. But I get why he tried to do it (he DIDN’T HAVE TO do it, he could have RETURNED home at the end of 3x09 and not plot his REVENGE against Klaus, keeping everyone SAVE IN THE FIRST PLACE. He WOULDN’T have to save them if he hadn't did this) he had to make Elena's fear believable. BUT HE COULD HAVE EASIL SPED the car AEOUND ANOTHER ROAD and fed her his blood BU no he had convince her he was going to KILL her on the BRIDGE where SHE almost DIE and her PARENTS DID. It was CALCULATED and PREMEDITATED, as if he was trying to HURT her in the most emotionally DAMAGIAG way possible. I said I wasn't going to compare this to Damon's actions in 2x20 but I guess I lied: Damon's actions can't be justified but I understand why he did it. He LOST control and fed Elena his blood RECKLESSLY and on IMPULSE. That's the DIFFERENCE between what Stefan did and what Damon did. Stefan thought out what he was going to do, he PLANNED IT. Damon (though I don't condone it) LOST CONTROL and FORGOT about the consequences of his actions for a few BRIEF moments. Another difference between what they done? Stefan did it to GAIN REVENGE...Damon did it to SAVE Elena's life. So yeah, I do think SE have been ripped to shreds and their 'epic' story is no longer so epic and loving. I'm sure”

Credit to: RachaelF8

In the flash back in 1x20, we see that both of the Salvatore brothers know that Katherine is a vampire and both promise each other to keep her secret from their father so he wouldn’t hunt her down and kill her, the next you know Stefan goes to his father and basically tells him that she’s a vampire, and when his father goes and tells him to bring the sheriff so they would take her away and he without even thinking or questing his father or try to stop him he just obeys even though it meant the woman he loves is going to die.

Damon on the other hand sees that the woman he loves is about to be taken away and tries to fight against his father, and goes and fellow where the town people are taking all the vampires so he would be able to save her life even though it meant him being treat like a vampire sympathizer, probably get killed but he toke that risk to save the woman he loves (yes Stefan was there but it was too little too late, if he hadn’t run like a cowered to the sheriff and told him about Katherine in the first place, Damon wouldn’t have to go after her and try to save her)

Damon killed Stefan’s best friend lexie 1x07
Stefan killed damon’s friend with benefits Andie 3x01

Damon did it for his own selfish reason, because he wanted to cover his tracks, he also did it so no-one would suspect Stefan, but he felt guilty about he has done to his brother’s best friend and apologized to his brother in his own way by not drinking human blood for a week, it wasn’t much but he tried to make up for it the best he can. What Damon did was awful but it worked the counsel didn’t suspect him or Stefan and was relived thinking they got rid of the danger that terrified the town, that the town was safe.

Stefan killed Andie to trough him of Klaus & his trial, because Klaus told Stefan if doesn’t get Damon of their trail that he was going to kill him so Stefan did it to protect Damon, he did it to make Damon & Elena lose hope in getting the old Stefan back and it worked until he called Elena and gave her hope that he still wasn’t completely lost, the very next day Elena who still had hope in Stefan went in a suicide mission to get him back which made Damon go after her and make sure she doesn’t get herself killed which lead to restoring the hope by the end of the day and getting back to tracking Klaus & Stefan’s trail which ultimately lead to Klaus suspecting Stefan which lead him learning that Elena was still alive, so Andie’s death was for NOTHING.

I think I explained myself pretty clear with all the differences I have wrote, so I just want to know what you guys think plz comment thanks.