Let me just start by saying that yes I am still not able to form any coherent thoughts after 5x16 but i will try to put forth something. 5x16 was definitely one of the best Delena episodes so far, the whole episode being delena centric. But its not the number of scenes they got. Its what happened in them. Its about what every interaction from a "hey you" to "I cant" meant. Its about how these two people who love each other with such fervent passion, were ripped away from each other and against all the odds in the universe are still each other's. Are still each others' home. What they both come back to, no matter the evil, the dark, the pain, the agony. At the end of the war, the peace they find in each others' heart. The battles they've fought together and against each other. Their acceptance of their reality. Their unconditionality in their love.
Elena Gilbert, a young innocent girl from Mystic Falls who believed, after her parents death that, love is finding your soulmate that u can on any level find a connection with. Loving someone is simple. Loving someone means being able to wake up n go to bed smiling. Someone who is easy to understand, who has morals, who has the same beliefs as her. Someone whose reality is not so hard to embrace. The girl before her parents' death wanted a passionate and a consuming love. Even though she wanted it, she never understood what it was like to have that kind of love because u only know what u experience. And then Stefan happened. Although, the introduction to the supernatural life wasnt easy for her to handle, loving Stefan was easy. He was a good self -righteous boy. Who could easily deny himself reality to be loved. The one who was popular among all her peers.
Elena (3x16): "After my parents died, there was something about being with Stefan that just felt safe. I know, believe me, just saying it out loud it sounds crazy, but it’s like I knew that he would never stop loving me. Like he would never…die"
The situations got tough sometimes but loving Stefan was always easy.
And with time, she fell out of love with him. Because as her feelings for Damon were intensifying and getting harder n harder to deny, her whole safe net with Stefan was fading away. And it faded away and left just a past and a deep rooted friendship for her, for him.
Loving Damon is the opposite. He is reckless. He is impulsive, he will kill as he wants, he will do as he desires, show no mercy or pardon. He comes from a very dark place. A dark place of insecurities and fears. A place of not feeling worthy. A place of impulsively lashing out and destroying everything that matters to him and everything he earned, in a heartbeat and take pleasure in its destruction in that moment. He is very unpredictable and challenges Elena on every turn, by his every action. Every day is a new challenge with him. He has always been honest with her about his mistakes, his wrongings. His worst parts. Always thinking she'll leave him because he doesnt deserve to be loved but Elena never did. She never left.
1x07, Damon killed Vicki and was not remotely regretful for it.
"People die around u. How could it not matter? It matters and u know it."
1x15, Elena found out Damon killed her birth mom.
"Did I forget to mention earlier when we were talking about my birth mother, the one that gave me up. Her name was Isobel. Go ahead, reminisce about how you killed her."
2x01, Damon killed Elena's only family.
"I hate him Stefan. I hate him."
2x20, Damon forcefully feeds Elena his blood.
Elena (3x19): "It’s what you do, Damon. You sabotage things, you.. I mean, think about it, every time there’s a bump in the road, you lash out."
Damon (4x07): "I have never seen u more alive."
Elena (4x08): "He has always been there for me when i needed him."
Elena (4x10): "Being with Damon makes me happy. Its unpredictable, like I am free.
Its the most real thing I've felt in my entire life. I love u Damon." (notice how even though she was sired, she felt the most liberated in her entire life)
Damon (4x23): "there is no apology in the world that encompasses all the reasons I am wrong for u."
Elena (4x23): "Then i am not sorry either. I m not sorry that i met you, i am not sorry that knowing u has made me question everything that in death u are the one that made me feel most alive. You've been a terrible person and all of the choices I've made this will prove to be the worst one but i am not sorry that I am in love with you. I love you Damon."
Damon (5x10): "I am bad Elena. I am bad for u. Then why wouldnt u run as far as humanly possible?"
Elena (5x10): "Because I love u Damon. because i chose u n because i stand by my choice."
Damon (5x16): "Look at us, we are toxic Elena. We are in a toxic relationship. I just killed ur best friend and u are finding someone else to blame."
Elena (5x16): "u want me to blame u? Easy done, u screwed up Damon again. U put me in a position where i have to defend u again. where i have to bend my morals again. Or i have to go against every single thing I believe in because I love you."
Damon (5x16): "then stop loving me."
Elena (5x16): "I cant."
There is a difference between the words "toxic" and "unhealthy". Unhealthy is denying everything and keeping the past, the truths and secrets that lie in it hidden and expect to be loved in lies. Unhealthy is putting revenge first, unhealthy is letting the love of your life die. Unhealthy is trying to make the person u love into something they are not just because u cant love them. Unhealthy is treating the love of your life like a broken toy who needs to be fixed. People say Delena is unhealthy, take a look at Stelena's ship first.
Loving someone for who they were, who they are and who they will be is unconditional love. Loving them inspite of how much they hurt you is unconditional love. Loving them for all their imperfections, their curves, their scars, their mistakes, the person they are capable of being, the cruelty and mercilessness they can show, loving them in the wrong they did, finding them right in the wrong they did, loving and accepting their darkness, loving them that it consumes you to oblivion. Loving them too much is toxic. But thats a great love. It wrecks you but it makes you. And it will always pull u back in, together because its embedded so deep within you that its a part of you, its a part of your being. And u can never ridden yourself of your being. That passion cuts so deep that it cannot be extinguished. It knows no limit or threshholds. Because inspite of what Damon has done, Elena loves him too much to give up or leave him.
Rose (3x19): "u’re young, you don’t see what I see. It’s not just that she makes him a better person, she does, but he changes her too. Damon challenges her, surprises her, he makes her question her life, beliefs. Stefan is different, his love is pure, he’ll always be good for her. Damon is either the best thing for her or the worst."
And in that unpredictability, in that toxic love, you find your safety. Not the safety of loving someone morally good or simple. But the safety of your being, the safety that you'll always be unharmed. The safety in your liberation. Elena found that safety in Damon. Elena found a haven in Damon. Something she never had with Stefan because they never loved each other with that much passion. If they did Elena hadnt fallen out of love with Stefan and friend-zoned him. If their love consumed each other, it wouldnt have been so easy for Damon to steal her heart because it would've been so tightly bound by passion and power in Stefan's being but was it? No. If Elena loved Stefan that much, they would be where Delena is right now and they aint so.. GO HOME SE SHIPPERS.
Blair Waldorf: "What we have is a great love. It's complicated. Intense. All-consuming. No matter what we do and how much we fight, it'll always pull us in."
Damon and Elena in 5x16 didnt realise that they are wrong for each other. They think loving each other too much maybe wrong. But this aint the truth because their love is great. Damon is dark and Elena fell in love with darkness and realising thats what she's always wanted. Their love is right. Its overwhelming. Its powerfully toxic. They hurt each other. They heal each other.
Its their love... and they will be endgame.