I admit, that in the very beginning of Gossip Girl, from seasons 1-3, I shipped Chuck/Blair. I thought that they were the true love story of the show, especially in the first couple of seasons. But then as time progressed on the show, I realized how wrong I was. I have come to the mere conclusion that Chuck/Blair is a highly toxic relationship and is one that should not continue under any circumstances. The idea that the own Gossip Girl producer has the guts to label Chuck/Blair as a "love story" when Chuck has done nothing but treat Blair like shit is beyond. To me, it is seriously appalling. I knowGossip Girl is normally highly experimental with their pairing of characters romantically, but to sell a relationship which absolutely abusive and toxic on all levels and call it a love story is beyond sickening. Because of the over-promotion of Chair, the show has turned me off drastically. I like to watch this show for the many different dynamics as well as all the characters and the interactions between the characters. It's exciting to me, and the show is never short of drama. But because of the over-exposure of an abusive couple being represented as the main love story of the show, I must admit that I have contemplated not watching anymore....until Dan/Blair showed up on my screen in season 4.
Truth be told, I have enjoyed Dan/Blair interactions since GG started, but if I'm being completely honest, I never saw the romanticism in the pairing at first. I saw them as two people who were so inherently different and opposite of each other, both of them being from completely different worlds, different social backgrounds. Dan being the loner, semi-geeky guy from Brooklyn and Blair being the stuck-up, entitled socialite from Manhattan; I mean, who would even think of putting these two together in a romantic sense, when on paper, they are so incredibly different from each other? They used to banter, and bicker and pick out each other's flaws and what they don't like about each other and they engaged in some light-hearted BBF banter. But season 4 came, and Dan/Blair literally took my breath away. I slowly started to see so much romantic chemistry between the two and I told myself, that there is real chemistry between Penn Badgley and Leighton Meester. And the chemistry between the two actors and their characters of Dan Humphrey and Blair Waldorf have brought this show back to life for me. In season 3, I was so cynical about Gossip Girl. I literally felt like I had no hope left in me for this show. I felt like nothing was going to get better, and at the time, I admit I was supporting Chair. But season 3 was the end of Chair for me. For some reason, a lightbulb when off in my head and all of a sudden, I felt so incredibly ashamed that for all of this time, I was supporting such a toxic relationship such as Chair. When I am a person who literally despises and strongly advocates against abusive relationships (I was a victim of an abusive relationship so I understand better then anyone). I became turned off from Gossip Girl when the show continuously tried to promote Chair as a love story when in reality, the real and true love story of this show is and always had been Dan/Blair for me. Dan/Blair's dynamic and relationship has been so incredibly under the radar and so unnoticeable for the vast majority of the entire series, that now that Dan/Blair is currently evolving on my screen, it is the most epic, beautiful and incredibly organic relationship that I have seen on TV in a long time. The thing about me is that I support healthy relationships. If the relationship is healthy and it makes logical sense, then I will ship it and support it. But if a relationship doesn't make sense to me logically and if I find the relationship to be unhealthy and toxic, I won't ship it. I don't care how much chemistry the two characters or even the two actors have together, if the relationship doesn't make sense to me whatsoever, I will not support it. This is the case for Chair and Dair. Chair is a highly toxic and atrocious relationship. I apologize to Dair fans on here who ship both Chair and Dair, but i wrote this article to speak my mind about both ships. And unfortunately to those who multi-ship Chair and Dair, some of the things I'm going to say throughout this article might offend you. But the truth is that Chair is an unhealthy relationship on absolutely all levels. Their relationship is not what I would equate to a healthy relationship or a love story by any means. Real and true love is HEALTHY. There's respect. There's trust. There's understanding. There's honesty. There's loyalty. Chair have absolutely NONE of that whatsoever. Chuck has treated Blair like shit over and over again while he claims to love her so much. And what does Blair do? She buys into his words of manipulation and she keeps going back to him. To me, when Blair runs back to Chuck after all of the terrible shit he's done to her directly while claiming to love her SO MUCH, it really shows that Blair doesn't believe in herself. It shows that Blair has a certain degree of low self-esteem. What kind of woman would run back to a guy who has treated her like crap over and over again, repeatedly? IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE TO ME. And this has been going on for 3 seasons. Isn't Blair tired of the games? the manipulations? The schemes? the lies? The betrayal? Doesn't Blair deserve a real and true happy ending for once? I mean, Blair is the one who said herself in so many words that all she wanted was simply love. Well, with Chuck, she's not going to get that whatsoever. Blair is ultimately fooling herself if she really thinks that Chuck Bass is going to change for her. CHUCK BASS WILL NEVER CHANGE WHEN IT COMES TO BLAIR WALDORF. Does that mean that Chuck Bass won't change at all as a person? No, I'm not saying that. Chuck can be redeemed, but I'm sorry, he cannot and never will be redeemed through Blair Waldorf. The damage as already been done and there's nothing left to fix between Chuck/Blair. Chuck has hurt Blair far too many times for things to ever be ultimately fixed between them and for them to be able to just erase all the damage and start over. There is no starting over when it comes to Chuck and Blair. And, no offence, but many Chair shippers are blind to that.
Blair deserves to be with a guy who's going to love her, treat her with the respect that she deserves. Blair is not perfect, I know that. but even as someone who loves Blair, I know that she has her many flaws. She can be bitchy, manipulative, bossy, entitled, you name it. But underneath all of that facade, is a genuinely sensitive good-hearted person who is misunderstood and who wants to be loved and accepted for who she is, for everything that she is. The problem is that Chuck doesn't and never has respected Blair. Not EVER. He doesn't respect Blair, the individual. He doesn't respect her outlook on life, her values, her goals, what she stands for. Chuck likes to control and dominate Blair. When it comes to Chuck with Blair, it's his way or it's the high way. Blair can't let her real, true self shine when she is with Chuck. She's actually really someone she is not when she is with Chuck, she puts on a facade around him and hides the true girl she really is on the inside. And it's sad. Because she feels like if she's herself around Chuck, he will just disrespect her even more then he already does. And she's right. Because regardless of whether Blair is herself or not around Chuck, he's not gonna respect her either way. So it doesn't even matter. Chuck stifles Blair. He holds her back. And Blair is not a piece of property to Chuck Bass, yet he repeatedly treats her like she is and then on top of it, the show promotes that as true love and a love story, which beyond angers me and irritates me. Love is not about control. Love is not about disrespecting each other. Love is not about manipulation and dishonesty. LOVE IS ABOUT BEING ABLE TO BE YOURSELF. If you can't be yourself around the one you supposedly love, then how the hell can the relationship work in the long run? I don't care what anyone says but Chuck/Blair is a doomed ship. They are a doomed from the start and an ill-fated ship. Aside from financial matters, money and business, what in the hell do Chuck/Blair have?? Money and business doesn't make a relationship healthy and it doesn't make it work and it does't make a relationship successful. Chuck/Blair do not have any of the essential qualities that are needed for a healthy, long-term relationship. When you break down Chuck and Blair as characters, CHUCK/BLAIR HAVE ABSOLUTELY ZERO IN COMMON. No, seriously, they have nothing in common. They don't share similar dreams, goals, values, outlook, hobbies, philosophy on life, they share NOTHING that is of relevant importance in common whatsoever. All Chuck/Blair share in common is backstabbing, manipulation, scheming, money, business and social status. How are any of those even remotely healthy? Anyone can have tons of money, it doesn't make that person right for someone. Anyone can come from the exact same social background or status as someone, that doesn't make that person RIGHT for them. Things like money, social status/background, race, nationality, etc, those are all shallow things to base a relationship between two people on. Who cares where they are from? Who cares what racial background they are? Who cares if they are middle class or rich? Things like that don't matter when it comes to real, true love. This is the case for Dan/Blair and this is why I support them so much the way that I do.
Dan does something for Blair that Chuck never did and still doesn't: HE CHALLENGES HER. Dan challenges Blair. And he does it subconsciously without him even knowing it. Dan challenges Blair simply by being in her presence. The reason for this is because deep down, Dan believes in Blair; he believes in her ultimate potential as an individual. He sees the much deeper person/individual that Blair is keeping hidden deep down within herself due to being repeatedly hurt by Chuck over and over again. Dan understands Blair; he gets her. He gets how she thinks, how she operates, how she copes, how she handles her feelings and emotions. And Dan knows that however Blair acts on the surface, is all a facade. BLAIR IS IN HIDING BECAUSE SHE IS SCARED; SHE IS TERRIFIED. And now, I would say she is also running, because she is trying to put her feelings for Dan on the back-burner by trying to deny that she has any feelings for Dan whatsoever in the first place. Also, unlike Chuck, Dan RESPECTS Blair. He respects her as a person and part of this respect is that he believes in her potential. If Dan was like Chuck, he would would treat her the exact same way, he would try to dictate to her and try to control and dominate her in every way possible. Dan doesn't do that because he doesn't feel the need to and this is something that is natural, because like I said, Dan understands Blair as a person. Dan doesn't try to control her repeatedly and tell her what to do and he encourages her to believe in herself and to show her true potential whether he's doing it directly or indirectly. Also, Dan can be himself around Blair. He can be his classic old judgemental self and you know what? BLAIR ACCEPTS IT! You wanna know why? BECAUSE SHE LIKES IT. She likes Dan's judgemental attitude, because it's his judgemental attitude that CHALLENGES BLAIR IN THE FIRST PLACE. However, Dan doesn't say the things he does to intentionally hurt Blair whatsoever, he does it to challenge Blair in a healthy way. Dan strongly believes and knows deep down, that the stuck-up, entitled, spoiled, bratty bitchy, vain facade that Blair puts up as a daily mask is all a facade, it's not who she really is. So therefore, Dan doesn't feel ashamed to express his opinion openly and honestly about her actions. Dan challenges Blair to bring out the real Blair, the Blair that's in hiding. So when he makes remarks and comments about Blair, it's not with malice or with the intention to hurt her feelings. It's because he knows that it challenges her to be a better, more humble individual and to actually embrace the real Blair, who is sensitive, who is a romantic, who is emotional, who is humble, the girl who just wants real, simple love. Dan does that for Blair. That's one of the reasons why I feel Dan is so right for her, because Dan brings Blair back down to reality. And he does it without dictating to her or trying to control, dominate her life in any way. Dan gives her freedom and he gives her a choice, and that to me, is the biggest sign of RESPECT. If Dan really wanted to, he could be a controlling jackass to Blair and try to dictate to her what she should and shouldn't do, like Chuck does. But he doesn't and that is because Dan has unconditional respect for Blair. Why is it that Chuck can't challenge Blair the way that Dan can? Why is it that Chuck can't show respect towards Blair naturally? It's simple: CHUCK DOESN'T UNDERSTAND BLAIR WHATSOEVER. He doesn't understand Blair as an individual. And ultimately, that is what differentiates Blair's relationship with Chuck from Blair's relationship with Dan. RESPECT. To me, respect is the core ingredient for Dan/Blair's relationship. And this is why I feel that Dan/Blair have so much potential to be not only the most successful, healthy relationship in Gossip Girl history, but also a successful relationship in terms of endgame material. Now in regards to Blair, she challenges Dan as well in her own way. She believes that underneath the Lonely Boy facade, that there is a much more confident, self-assured and highly ardent, ambitious and spirited person that he keeps hidden deep down within himself and always has. Blair sees a guy who has so much potential as a person and she sees someone who is open, spirited, carefree, understanding, loving, loyal, fun, but also deep and complex. And Blair is drawn to that. She's ultimately drawn to the complexity of Dan, she finds him interesting and intriguing. In a way, Dan is kind of a mystery to Blair. And what she has managed to do over a period of time, is crack open Dan Humphrey naturally and see the true and real individual that he is underneath. And guess what? Blair LOVES that person, that individual whom Dan has kept hidden forever. And she accepts that individual as well. Blair knows Dan, because she understands him in ways that most people don't. And when she challenges him naturally and indirectly the way she does, it works. And she likes challenging him. I think Dan and Blair have always been secretly desiring to be challenged by someone deep down within themselves and for so long, both of them just couldn't find that person. I think that both Dan and Blair, believed in the back of their minds, that Serena (in Dan's case) and Chuck (in Blair's case) were those people who challenged them the way that they desired to be challenged. But I think that they are both realizing that they were wrong. That Serena and Chuck didn't challenge them, but more so used them and manipulated them. Whereas Dan/Serena used each other, Dan/Blair are helpful with/towards each other. Whereas Chuck/Blair manipulated each other, Dan/Blair challenge each other. And I think that Dan/Blair have slowly come to realize that. However, with that being said, I do believe that Blair knows and understands this fact deep down within her, but her conscious and her mind tries to tell her otherwise and the opposite of this. This is why you currently have Blair trying to deny whatever she feels for Dan, because she doesn't want to come to terms with the truth. Dan, on the other hand, has come to accept and also, embrace what he feels for Blair. That's why he's still standing in the same place. In a way, I feel like Dan is Noah Calhoun from The Notebook, standing in the rain, and he's just waiting patiently for his Allie Hamilton (Blair) to come and embrace and accept the love that they have for each other so that they can live a happy, fulfilling life together. And honestly, the fact that Dan/Blair remind me a little bit of Noah/Allie is the reason why I feel Dan/Blair are so organic and epic. Because in The Notebook, Allie, who's a wealthy girl from a high status social background (Blair) marries a guy named Lon, who's rich, handsome and charming and she gets engaged to him for social status (Chuck), but deep down, she really truly loves Noah, the guy who's not as wealthy, who's a local boy and who works at a lumber mill (Dan). But then Allie realizes that she always loved Dan deep down and that he was her equal and that no one would ever compare, not even a guy with money. To me, this is the kind of love story that I see for Dan/Blair on the show. And they really have so much potential to be so amazing, but the writer and the own producer of the show (Josh Safran) needs to open their eyes and stop shoving that abusive shit called Chair down GG viewers throats and on top of it, stop referring to Chuck/Blair as a true love story. Let me just say this one time: CHUCK/BLAIR IS NOT REAL TRUE LOVE. And it is nowhere near that of a true love story. To me, Dan/Blair is the real love story and when they start to evolve more, Dan/Blair will only be that much more epic! ♥