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These are a bunch of funny alternate endings to Harry Potter I found. I did NOT write them.

Scooby Doo ending: Voldemort is captured, and is revealed to be Filch wearing a mask. As he is hauled away, he shouts, “And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids!”

South Park ending: After defeating Voldemort, Harry and Ron address the audience, saying, “You know, I’ve learned something today.” Suddenly, Ginny is run over by the Knight Bus, prompting Ron to shout, “They killed Ginny!” Harry responds, “You bastards!” Neville laughs and says it’s because Ginny was poor.

Star Wars ending: Voldemort reveals himself to in fact be Harry’s father.

CSI: Miami ending: Harry, Ron and Hermione collect evidence linking Voldemort to the murder of Albus Dumbledore. When confronted, Voldemort challenges Harry to prove he did it; Harry puts on his sunglasses, holding up a single strand of Voldemort’s hair, responds, “I don’t have to, you already did.”

24 ending: It is revealed that Voldemort was really just working for the French, and Madame Maxime was really behind the entire plot to destroy the wizarding world. At the last second, Harry is able to diffuse the device Maxime had planted that would neutralize all wizard’s power in all of England. Just as they begin to celebrate, Harry is captured by the Chinese and when we last see him, he is on a boat to China.

Brokeback Mountain ending: After wishing he could “quit him,” Harry finally finds out that Draco was beaten to death with wands by a group of angry Deatheaters. The book closes with Harry gazing longingly into his trunk, in which he has Draco’s Slytherin robe wrapped around his own Invisibility Cloak. Harry mumbles, “I swear, Draco.” and sheds a single tear.

Lord of the Rings ending: Harry and Ron finally destroy the final horcrux by throwing it into a bubbling lave pit deep beneath Hogwarts, killing Lord Voldemort in the process, but at the same time weakening the foundations of Hogwarts, trapping Harry and Ron miles beneath the surface. where they gaze into each others eyes, too afraid to talk of the love that dare not speak it’s name. Just as they pass out, Fawkes rescues them and they both live out their lives married to their respective spouses

A Few Good Men ending: In the process of defeating Lord Voldemort, Ron and Hermione accidentally kill Draco. They are brought to trial before the Wizengamut, and Harry must act as their lawyer. Harry believes that Ron and Hermione were only following orders from Percy, and so he calls Percy to the stand. After a few hours of intense questioning, Harry finally tricks Percy into admitting he ordered the attack on Malfoy. As he is led off to Azkaban, Percy remarks, “All you did was weaken the wizarding world today, Potter. That’s all you did.”

Back to the Future ending: Harry, Ron and Hermione defeat Voldemort by traveling back through time to 1955. While there, they befriend a young, and not yet evil, Tom Riddle. By showing him love and friendship, Tom grows up to be a swell guy, in fact, he’s Dumbledore’s personal assistant. Just as we think things are going to be OK, Mad Eye Moody shows up, grabs Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny and herds them to his nuclear powered broom time machine. When Harry asks what is wrong with them in future, Moody replies, “You turn out fine…it’s your kids!”

Sweeney Todd Ending: After defeating Voldemort, Ginny is threatened by Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange. Harry yells "not my girlfriend, you bitches!" and kills them both with a slashing spell. Suddenly the candles in Hogwarts are re-lit and Harry reccognises the faces of the couple he had just kill. Harry is then told by Ginny that his parents never actually died, and that she knew all along. Harry's parents were infact Bellatrix Lestrange and Rodolphus, and were driven insane by a potion-experiment-gone-wrong. Ginny confesses her love for him, and says that he wouldn't have loved her back if he still knew his parents were alive. Harry wouldn't have had to stay at the burrow during the summer holidays, and Ginny would never see him. Harry tells her that he understands, with a crazed look in his eyes. He begins to waltz with her in the Great Hall, dancing on top of all the dead bodies. Slowly, he waltzes her closer to the boiling cauldron of deadly potions. Harry quickly shoves Ginny into the cauldron and watches her burn to death. Meanwhile, Ron Weasley sneaks up behind Harry. Harry is depressed and desides he has no more reason to live. He walks over to his dead parents, and Ron briskly fires an "Avada Kedavra" from behind. Harry dies holding his dead parents, and all his memories seep out of him (like Snape did earlier) for the world to see. Fade to black.

The Princess Bride ending: “And that, children, is the story of the battle of Hogwarts,” said the pale old storyteller as he closed a massive, well-worn book.

“Professor,” said a young red-haired girl, “is that a true story?”

“Of course it is sweetie, of course it is.”

“How do you know?”

“I was there,” the old man said, and the young girl’s eyes widened with excitement. “For I am Lord Voldemort.”

Twilight ending: Voldemort lures Ginny to the Ballet School she went to when she was small. There, he uses the Cruciatus Curse on her. Harry comes in and they have an epic duel among all the mirrors.

Ginny ends up fine, but with a few broken bones.

Harry Potter ending: It’s the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. ‘Nuff said.
Burning Dumbledore in effigy
Burning Dumbledore in effigy
Hey, I loved that article Umbridge did, those pictures were great!



Here are a few more, sort of like you suggested, My Lord.

Do you plan on extending your reign to the rest of the world, like the United States or are you just taking over England and the Wizarding world??



Also, haha just wondering if you'd be willing to post more stuff about how you plan on ruling the world?


Anyway, yeah, ALL credit to Umbridge for the idea, I had so much fun making these!!



If you guys have any suggestions please let me know, :)




Tell me what you think ok??
Bellatrix's night job as a professional Assasin
Bellatrix's night job as a professional Assasin
Narcissa goes Hollywood, and becomes a movie star
Narcissa goes Hollywood, and becomes a movie star
Fenrir also has great sucess with a Hockey career
Fenrir also has great sucess with a Hockey career
Voldemort also takes over America, and joins their ranks of great leaders on Mt. Rushmore
Voldemort also takes over America, and joins their ranks of great leaders on Mt. Rushmore
The new "Dark Lord Dollar" Coin
The new "Dark Lord Dollar" Coin
Umbridge’s Rules:

These are the first proclamations made by Dolores Umbridge. Please feel free to comment and I will edit the rules as need be.

1. All are welcome to join this spot: Roleplayers, Non-RP’s, extraterrestrials, etc.

2. If you want to play as a known character, please state your character in Bellatrix's link and make sure that character is not taken by someone else first.

3. If you want to be another version of a taken character, please contact the person who is playing the original version of that character first to inquire if they mind this.

4. Characters in this spot can be from...
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posted by Xander-Kriechen
This is basically why Xander doesn't love anyone anymore...

Love. It's a disease of the mind.

His vision began to get cloudy as tears weld up in his eyes. The brick walls zoomed by as he ran down the corridor. Gaurds were watching, Shaking their heads at the younger man's foolishness. Xander completely disregarded them. 

Xander was young for a prison gaurd. When he started he had just turned seventeen. However, that look of innocence that most teenagers would have had vanished. His grey eyes were empty now and his skin was a sickly pale color. He looked to be at least thirty, though he was only...
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posted by Lenzetta-Lovett
Okay so I want to show you guys how I expect my characters to be for now on...

Xander: Xander is now going to be more miserable and quiet (He's still going to talk obviously, just not as optimistically) He still drinks, but he won't act like a five year old when he does. I'm making him more aggressive (I'll get onto my reasoning for this later) His hair will still change with his attitude. I'm going to diagnose Xandykins with some multiple personality disorder (I just think this would be interesting xD) He will still be sarcastic. This time, Xander won't hesitate to fight anyone (including girls....
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posted by DmitryVladimir
ESCAPED! ESCAPED! ESCAPED!

Dmitry Vladimir, male, white, aged 24 years, single, a native of Romania. Recommended his commitment to Azkaban, finding him suffering from mental illness, perhaps Insanity.

He was caught by the Ministry on the date of August 18th, on the street of Cherry Tree Lane, and charged with reckless behavior and convicted Death Eater. He seems to be insane.. Always yelling in his mother language, shaking the bars and slamming the stone walls, even laughing out spontaneously. Be cautious for when cornered Mr. Vladimir will lash out. The results are in fact not pretty. During...
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posted by Lenzetta-Lovett
Trouble...

Double double. Toil and trouble.

She's the master of making people cringe. Life is her game and the people of the non-pure race are her pawns. People beg for death at her feet. She laughs at their misery but doesnt give into their pleads. She is a bully, and her only friend, when said at the absolute best moment, is the her favorite curse. Her dark eyes pierce into the souls of her foes and friends. She is a woman of pride, knowing that all of her fellow death eaters are jealous when they see what damage she can do with just one word. "crucio." Wearing black from head to toe, the woman...
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posted by MelzyGirl
Name: Melody Lucy Perkins
Age: 11 (same as Draco:)
Taken/Crushing? Nahhh.
Description: Melody is a Ravenclaw. She was put there for her smarts (obviously), but she also has the traits of a Slytherin. She is cunning and ambitious. She is good friends with Draco Malfoy. She is a pureblood and her family is all dead. They were killed in the first wizard war (the one where Harry's parents died). (who wants to be Draco??? :)
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posted by KateKicksAss
This is about Kate when she first joins the Death Eaters, and ends up turning her parents in to the Ministry. This is part one. Feedback is appreciated, :)


The doors to the meeting room slowly opened, and Kate stepped through, her long cloak sweeping behind her.
Her forearm burned from her recently acquired Dark Mark, and her heels clicked against the floor.

The room was wood paneled and dark, with a long mahogany table in the center, at which more people in black cloaks were sitting.

A fire burned in a marble fireplace, and the flickering light cast shadows across the already dark room.

As Kate...
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posted by Lenzetta-Lovett
My eyes fluttered open to the sound of clicks and clatters around my feet. I was sitting in an old white chair, it was as dirty as my clothes, or rags as I call them. A young doctor knelt at my feet, fiddling with the chair leg.

    “Dr. Cartridge?”

    The man’s eyes met mine and in that instant, I could see the fear flash within them.

    “Dr. Cartridge, is something wrong?”

    “Ms. Lovett, I-” was all he was able to muster.

    I watched him intently as his gaze immediately went...
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posted by KateKicksAss
An example of an object you could use.
An example of an object you could use.
A handy-dandy Wikihow article on how to make a horcrux, for all you aspiring Dark witches and wizards out there!
Credit: wikihow.com


1. Become an extremely powerful witch or wizard. This will take years of study and sacrifice which lie beyond the scope of a WikiHow article. As a general guide you should not attempt to create a horcrux until you can cast non-verbal killing curses.

2. Locate an object of extreme significance to you. An emotional attachment to the object will aid the process and make it easier on your body and soul.

3. Bathe in the Water of Sorrows and eat 1 cup of paste made from...
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posted by KateKicksAss
Credit: f***yeahslytherin.tumblr.com
I found these fascinating, thought you guys might too, :)
And yeah, it's not ALL Death Eaters, but they're all Slytherins, :P


Bellatrix - “Bella” is a construct of the word “bellum” meaning “war” and “trix” refers to “a woman in power.” Bellatrix is therefore known as the “Female Warrior” and is also the pale yellow star indicating the left shoulder of the constellation Orion, the Great Hunter.

Blaise - Blaise was the teacher of Merlin. From the Roman name Blasius, which means “lisping.” From the Latin “blaesus.” A famous bearer...
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posted by EllaxCarson
My name is Ella Carson, but I'll probably kill you if you ever use it. I prefer being called “Crimson” instead because I tend to be mad most times and my face turns a very horrible shade of red.
When I was little, I lived in London and was born to my parents, Bryce and Will Carson. My father was a death eater who was a strong supporter of the dark arts, before he met my mum, who was a muggle-born attending Hogwarts. He instantly began to despise the Dark Lord, and married my mum. None of the DE's liked that, so they came to my house when I was five and killed him. My mom's soul was sucked...
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posted by KateKicksAss
Hey,

I know that by now, most of us have probably stopped thinking about WW3, but i've heard some people say that they think someone is lying. And I'm writing this to tell you who. You've all heard about the dispute, how Giatrix posted the screencaps, River claimed they were edited, Giatrix and Lexa claimed they weren't, and then Lexa and Giatrix left the spot, with the condition for their return being that River had to admit the screencaps were real and hadn't been edited, which she publicly posted about on the spot, in what looked like an attempt to make Giatrix and Lexa look worse. Most...
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posted by RanyBelle
Okay, so I've been gone for a month, & I apologize, I've had a lot going on. Anywyas, I'm back now, & belive me I've missed you all like crazy! (well...most of you)

Anywyas, I see there's another fight going on here :( What's with that? I thaught we were all cool, now that we've gone our seperate ways & made 2 spots? What happened to the peace? I liked the peace!

Anyways, I aparently missed a lot. So I do have a few questions about.......well, a lot of things. So if you have any idea, I'd like an explanation. I have talked to a few people about this, but I still don't quite get everything....
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posted by MCushing19
My name is Marisha Cushing. I'm 19 year old pureblood Slytherin. I'm a DeathEater since I was in my last year in Hogwarts.

I'm very loyal to The Dark Lord and I'm proud of it.

I'm a very good duellist, Legilimens and Occlumens. My favourite subejcts when I was in Hogwarts were Potions and DADA.

I'm bold and cold. I'm courageous. I like being sarcastic. I use to be restless and sassy.

I had 3 brothers: Benjamin, David and Marcus. We used to live with our grandparents until their death caused by 2 aurors.That's the reason I hate them and all they represent. I hate muggles too... I think they suck.


OOC:
physical appearance:
Marisha has straight dark hair and grey eyes. She's pale and skinny.
personality:
Mara is sassy and sarcastic. She's restless sometimes. She loves having fun with everything, if she doesn't find something good for it, she can torture any muggle or bloodtraitor to have fun.
**Summary: Set during New Moon, Alice has a vision of Bella jumping off the cliff, but instead of going to Italy, Edward tried to kill himself in various Muggle ways. Humor**

CHAPTER ONE

Edward Cullen sat on the couch moping. The Cullens had moved to New York after leaving Forks, but Edward didn't care. He hadn't gone out once, and sat on the couch depressed and moping all the time.
He sighed as he sat on the couch wondering if Bella even remembered what he looked like anymore. Or how he sparkled.
CRASH! He turned, temporarily snapped out of his self-pity and depression.
Alice had just dropped...
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posted by Brutus-McMillan
OOC:I never wrote one of these so I figured I would! :)

IC:My name is Brutus McMillan.I am a loyal Death Eater at the age of 26. I am skilled in Occlumency and Legilimency, something which has gained me many enemies over the years. At the age of 9 my parents were murdered by,somewhat suprisingly, powerful muggles with strange muggle weapons. I am extremely grateful to the Dark Lord for taking me in. He was the only one who shared my views on muggles,blood-trators and mudbloods. I owe him my life.

I am a trained assassin, the best there possibly is. At the age of 14 I swore to avenge my parents'...
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added by KateKicksAss
Source: tumblr
posted by KateKicksAss
So, this is sort of a “series” (for lack of a better word) that I’m doing about how Kate got some of her scars. This might be kind of a lame idea, but at the moment, it’s almost 1 am, and I’m feeling like doing some bonding with my character.

Scar: The scar and bump on Kate’s lip

Kate woke up to the sound of screams. That was hardly unusual. Her parents, both widely respected (in some circles, anyway) Death Eaters, enjoyed torturing innocent people, and had no qualms about kidnapping people and bringing them home for a bit of sport.

She cringed. Kate hated her parents way of life....
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posted by KateKicksAss
Okay, so I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea from the title. I’m not trying to boss anyone around. Really. This is more just a few things I sort of noticed about RP’s. Okay, that still sounds wrong. Anyways, feel free to tell me to stick a sock in it. I’ll understand.

So first, I kind of feel like with some RP’s, they don’t really go anywhere
Like, I think I mentioned this in one of my Scenario ideas articles. Like, we have a good premise for an RP, but then, when we start, we don’t really get anywhere, and by the time we really start getting into the scenario, we’re all...
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