There are several rules to stealing another girl's man and Princess Pea knew them all by heart. For example, you must remember that the end justifies the means...some people will need to get hurt for you to succeed. Another rule is that you have to be incredibly sneaky and manipulative or you could get caught in your own web of lies. And of course, Pea's favourite of the rules: never give up. On the other hand they were all her favourite rules...considering she'd invented them herself.
"Honestly Jasmine, you're a saint," said Pea casually the next morning, while she and Jasmine were sitting by the fountain.
"What do you mean?" inquired Jasmine, while she petted Rajah.
"Okay, well then I'm just gonna go to my room and get-"
"Fine, alright, I'll tell you! You've got me!" interrupted Pea, being her usual drama-queen self. "I just don't understand how you can plan on marrying someone who thinks you're stupid!"
"Prince Ali called me stupid?" demanded Jasmine, her tone furious.
"Well, not exactly...I believe his specific words were 'lacking in brain but so rich and beautiful that I put up with it.' Something like that."
With that, Jasmine headed into the palace to find her fiancé, her fists clenched.
Princess Pea turned to Rajah: "Princesses can be so tempermental, can't they?"
For the rest of the day, Jasmine refused to speak to Prince Ali Ababwa. Princess Pea couldn't be more pleased with her scheme. Finally she would be loved by a prince. Because although Pea would never in her wildest dreams admit it, all she really wanted was for someone to love her.
"I wouldn't blame you if you called off the wedding," Pea said...this time to Ali Ababwa. "The girl obviously has serious issues. I mean accusing you of calling her stupid when you clearly never said anything of the sort."
"You don't understand, Pea," replied Ali, "I love Jasmine more than anything."
"Oh, I see," answered Pea sweetly. "Well, I didn't realize it was that serious. So she loves you even with all your supposed flaws she mentioned. How romantic!"
"Yeah," Pea deviously engaged the prince in conversation, "To be more specific: She has a list. It's the list of things she can't stand about you. Off the top of my head some of the words were smelly, lazy, annoying, moronic and devastatingly bad-looking."
Prince Ali couldn't even respond he was so
heartbroken. Princess Pea all of a sudden noticed a little green fellow sitting on her shoulder. "Who the hell are you?" she asked.
"Cricket's the name, Jiminy Cricket. I'm here to be your conscience. After Pinocchio became a real boy, he grew up to be a crack addict who makes his money through his own porn website so I really need someone else to let me be their guide. Look at what you've done, Pea. You've broken the hearts of two innocent people by lying to them just so you can have a chance with Prince Ali. Is that really the type of person you want to be? No! You're better than that, Pea! Now the first thing you should do is-" Pea flicked the annoying bug off her shoulder and watched him soar over the balcony and disappear. Her thoughts went back to her devious scheme.
She went over to Jasmine and decided it was time to come clean...maybe she did have shred of a soul.
"You made all of that stuff up just to break up me and Ali? Are you crazy? You are the most self-absorbed person I've met since Prince Achmed! I want you out of here by tonight!" Jasmine slammed the door in Pea's face.
"Well you're a fugly whore..." replied Pea under her breath.
Pea sadly made her way over to the palace hall...she overheard Ali from behind the corner of the wall. Prince Ali was talking to someone but who? She peeked over to see Ali Ababwa talking to a floating blue genie. Ali was saying something, "I should've known I couldn't pull off this prince thing. According to Peanalita, Jasmine hates me."
"Don't give up, Al!" the Genie exclaimed. Suddenly he was wearing a sparkly ball gown and had a blonde bun. "No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true!" He returned to his normal form. "Talk to Jasmine. I'll be in my lamp." The Genie whirled away back into his itty-bittie living space.
"I heard the whole thing," Pea said from behind the corner of the wall.
"Oh no..." replied Ali. "Please Pea, don't tell Jasmine I'm not a prince!"
"What? You're not a prince?"
"No, isn't that what you just overheard? I'm really a street-rat...I found this genie and now I-"
"Don't worry Al," smiled Pea. "Jasmine has a good heart. I'm sure she loves you for who you are...I on the other hand have completely lost interest now that I know you're a filthy peasant. And in exchange for my keeping your secret from princess hotpants, I'm gonna need a little favor of my own."
With that, Princess Pea rode off on top of Aladdin's magic carpet, onwards to a new destination, wherever that may be.
(End Of Part 5)