Princess Pea had never been a fan of the ocean. She'd always chosen not to go swimming in it for various reasons...like the fact that she had a solid gold hot tub in her bedroom. Plus, who wants to swim in salty water filled with slimy creatures and dangerous predators? But as she sunk further beneath the waves and saw the crystal light of the sun shine down through the flowing waves and the beautiful plants sway back and forth...she still despised it. Although she'd never learned how to swim, she understood the basic idea. She struggled by kicking her legs rapidly and managed to gasp for air briefly.
"Help!" she screamed, only to sink through the surface again. She managed to pull herself up again for a moment. "Someone help me, I can't swim!"
All hope began to fade as Pea sunk further beneath the waves. The last thing she could remember before losing consciousness was a dark figure swimming towards her.
She woke up in a warm bed.
"Grim, she's awake!" said a voice that oozed of sex appeal. Pea's eyes opened and her vision began to focus. Sitting on a chair next to her was a handsome young man with bright blue eyes and black hair. "Are you okay, miss? I saw you drowning and brought you to my castle. Can I get you anything?"
Pea knew what she wanted. And it was tall, dark and handsome. "Thank you for rescuing me, I'm Princess Pea."
That evening, maids helped Princess Pea into a beautiful green gown that she would wear to dinner. Pea was quite fond of Eric, the prince who had saved her life. While walking towards the dining room, she overheard him talking to his weirdo assistant with a grey ponytail.
"Eric, it's fate...you're in need of a wife and a beautiful princess washes ashore. It's a miracle."
"But Grimsby," replied the prince. "She's not the one. She's not the one with the beautiful voice who rescued me last night."
"Of course I am!" interrupted Princess Pea as she scurried towards the dinner table. "I rescued you, now you rescued me. Debt paid! So when do you wanna get hitched? Let's honeymoon in Cabo!"
Eric looked unconvinced. "You're the one who sang to me? Your voice doesn't sound familiar..."
"Ooooooh!" answered Pea. "See, I was getting over a cold when I sang to you which is why my voice was a little scratchy. Sorry about that. But I'm the one you want...I sing really good, I can do imitations too! I can pull off Britney but I'm best at doing Miley!"
"Right," answered Prince Eric. "Well, we'll talk more about it in the morning. I'm still a little shaken from the storm."
Princess Pea slept like a baby in the guest bedroom of the sea-side palace. If she could just convince Eric that she was his dream girl, she would finally get her own happy ending. The promise of tomorrow began as the sun poured down through the bedroom window the next day. She scurried down the steps to find a fat litte lady holding some rags.
"Ew, what is that?" questioned Pea.
"Oh, it seems young Eric has found yet another pretty girl on the beach," answered Carlotta.
"Excuse me?"
"He was out walking his dog earlier today and came home with another stray...washed up from a shipwreck."
"And where is the little hoebag?"
"The little what?"
"The little sweetheart."
"Oh, you'll meet her at dinner, but don't expect much conversation, the poor thing can't even speak."
That afternoon, Princess Pea waited impatiently in the dining room next to Eric, the prince she hoped to marry. From the shadows across the room stepped out a beautiful redhead in a pink ballgown.
"Okay," Pea thought to herself. "This bitch is going down..."

(End Of Part 9)