SO, I CHANGED MY LIST, for the first time in forever. Hmmm.
I never ever ever ever change my list. I like my ruts, they feel nice.
It's like 3am so excuse any horrific spelling mistakes and horribly unfunny jokes that I found funny as it was 3am when I wrote it.
The sex, drinking, rainbows and swearing starts here. 8D SHELLYLAND, YAY. Party poppers? No? You disappointments. Let's go write an article.~~~













10) Belle

BELLE IS LAST? REALLY? That was so unpredictable of you Michelle, it's not like you're constantly saying that you hate her guts or anything!
Yeah, hmmm, some things never change. I can't stand Belle at all. I don't see a single redeeming feature in her. Everything I should like about her is horrifically tainted so that I dislike her more and more every time I see her.
First off, there's how the whole town loves her to pieces for NO REASON. Can you say Mary-Sue? She's not even that pretty. I find her horrifically plain and a brunette in France is about as special as a fat kid in McDonalds. Srsly, the Bimbettes were the ones Gaston should have been boning. They're way prettier, and much less irritating.
Secondly, there's how she's a bookworm and this makes her a smart and amazing person. Pfft, no. I know plenty of people that can read that are total fucktards. And she reads FAIRYTALES. I'm sorry, what? She's like 18 or something and she reads FAIRYTALES? Fair enough, I enjoy a fairytale, but I like to read something that was designed for someone that has a larger attention span than a squirrel every now and again.
Then of course, there's the whole "Beast was so mean and she made him soooo nice". NO, this is the worst part. She took a great character AND MADE HIM FUCKING UNBEARABLE. "C'mon Beasty, sharpen your claws and read this story." Ffff, no. He should have left her in the snow and waited for a Bimbette to come along. Who needs a chest covered in hair when you're just one big hairball? Srsly, by the time the Beast is a total pussy and he's dying on the ground, I'm sort of happy. Because I hate both of them so much by now that I want him to die and I want her to be miserable. They're like the whiney ones in horror movies that you find yourself begging Michael Myers to stab faster {because srsly, every second horror movie is a Halloween sequel}.
Summary - Michelle really hates Belle.













9) Aurora

Wait, what? Sorry, I was asleep. I had a horrible nightmare that I might have to write about Aurora and attempt to not die of boredom.
SERIOUSLY DISNEY, I've seen paint dry that kept me closer to the edge of my seat that this. Every single thing about Aurora is like a strong sedative {and I hang out with Mike, I should know what's it's like to get drugged so hard you pass out} and last time I saw Sleeping Beauty, I'd just had a great night's sleep and was bursting with energy but I STILL almost dropped off trying to sit through it. She just doesn't DO anything. She sits around, talks to animals, dances and gets stalked. Then she performs an audience reaction and takes a nap. They sure got the sleeping part right, but it wasn't Aurora that was snoozing.













8) Cinderella

Cinders is rather dull. To say the least. She's kind and sweet and somewhat ambitious but she's not really much else. She sort of skips and dreams and cleans things. If it wasn't for the interesting storyline, she'd probably be as bad as Aurora. Seriously, Sing Sweet Nightingale makes me want to nap like that too. Thank God the doorbell rang.
Really, in summary, Cinders is just a bundle of dull kindness. Yawn.













7) Snow White

Ok Disney, really, what happened? How was the first Princess so interesting when the other classics were so not?
I've decided that Snow White isn't that irritating after all and just muted her whenever she starts singing. That is so much better. She's really sweet, though it is almost sickening, and even though she's naive enough to run into the road to pet the cars... I like her. I like her old-fashioned values and her almost-snappy motherly charm. She's actually sort of forceful in a way and I reckon that even though she's as kind as anything on top, she'd get nasty if you didn't do what she said too many times. She's like that one teacher you have in school that is totally lovely and teaches you beautifully, but a toe out of line and you wish you'd never been born.
...Wait a minute, what if that pie we found was because of that? D: /bad YouTube joke like 3 people will piss themselves at so it's worth it
SNOW WHITE'S NICE, LET'S MOVE ON.















6) Tiana

Tia used to be my number 4 but just because she moved down doesn't mean I don't love her anymore.
In fact, I adore Tiana. I love how realistic she is, which is why most people dislike her, because it's so nice to see real values for once. Tia knows she can't just dream and wish for things - she has to go out and get them, to work for them. She oozes ambition and I love her determination to get exactly what she wants. She's snappy and she has an attitude and I like that. A girl's gotta be forceful as far as I'm concerned. You can't just let people walk all over you and Tia certainly doesn't. Her inability to take "no" as an answer is so inspiring. I wish more people out there were like Tiana.













5) Mulan

Yes, yes, I know what you're thinking. But I really did. I moved Mulan all the way down to 5th. Do you know why? Because I realised something. I'm not 4 years old anymore - I've moved on.
Sure, Mulan was my favourite for a long time and I still love her to pieces... But I just love the others more.
She's a total kickass and completely imperfect and klutzy to the point that you love her to pieces. I think she's superly naturally pretty and her selfless nature is really sweet. She wants nothing more than to make her family proud, even though she's incapable of doing anything right. And I find that really cute. If I had to choose a princess to be the ideal role model, it would most definitely be Mulan. She's brave, determined and smart. If you look up girl power in the dictionary, it's just a picture of Mulan kicking Shang in the face.













4) Jasmine

This is one of the only princesses in my list that hasn't moved. I love Jasmine loads and I always have done. She's so snappy and fun. Even though she's cooped up, she tries to not let it keep her down and she's never afraid to speak her mind.
I love how loud and ballsy she is, somewhat impulsive too. It makes her so much fun to watch and that is the real reason why I love her so much.
{It's getting later here, it's almost 4am. I feel like I'm about to pass out in an exhausted heap, so this is probably going to be very half-arsed from now on}











3) Ariel

HMMMM, YES, ARIEL. I'm not sure she why was so low before because I really love her. I actually can't think of any things I really dislike her for. She's not perfect, but who cares? That's what makes her fun!
I love Ariel from start to finish, actually. I love her rebellion and adventurous streak and her typically teenager lack of respect for authority. It makes her so nice and realistic. She's naive and impulsive and she just oozes the determination to get what she wants. She doesn't care about what other people think and she's living for the here and now. Really, if there's anything we need to see on our screens, it's someone this diverse and interesting. There's not a moment of TLM where I'm not totally on Ariel's side. Even when she's making the worst decisions of her life, you know she's doing it just to be happy... And for some strange reason, you really do want her to get that happiness. She's just so likeable. I love her to pieces and I'm sad that it took me so long to realise it.













2) Pocahontas

I've loved Pocahontas ever since before I can remember and I don't think that's ever going to change. No matter how many people slagged her off and called her boring, I stood by her. And now she's back where I think she really belongs - the number 2 spot.
I love Poca to absolute pieces because she's, surprise surprise, SO MUCH FUN. She doesn't sit around and wait for life to take her, she grabs it by the balls and runs around seeking out adventure. She even practically says it herself - why do it the easy way when you can do it the fun way? This girl doesn't go around the cliff, she jumps off it! What's not to like?
And then she has a ton of diversity because she's also mature, can think for herself and is incredibly wise. She strives to make sure everyone gets along and I'd say she's a real born leader.
That and she's totally hot.













1) Rapunzel

Apparently, Punz becoming my number one shocked a few people. You mean because she's cute and innocent, don't you? Well, I can do cute and innocent... Ok, so I can't, but I can still like it.
Looking up adorable in the dictionary will just say "see: Rapunzel". She is the pure definition of the word. She's just so CUTE! You want to run up and hug her. I love her bipolar attitude and zany hyperness. She's crazy but it's so much fun! Yeah, that's right, fun made another appearance.
Most of all, what attracted me to Punz was her dream. It's incredibly simple and many people would view it as stupid but she keeps it close to her heart. She'd go to any lengths to get it - even kidnap a wanted criminal and hold him hostage - and then when she finally gets everything she ever wished for... She's just so happy! She's so blissfully ecstatic and it's beautiful. It really is.
And I love how she doesn't seem to know how to be properly shy and just decides to start a huge dance in the middle of the town. Who cares about embarrassment? FUN TIMES, WOOOOOH! I wish I was like that, I'm shyer than anything. I'd love to be able to just be myself like her but I'm so scared of looking like a pillock.
Oh well, quick summary time, I love Punz loads.














So that's your lot. I should be going to bed really, it's just gone 4am and my eyes keep closing. I'll see if I can find a cute picture for you or something idk.