Dr. Spencer Reid Best Reid quotes/comments

Solsikke posted on Aug 02, 2009 at 07:29AM
What is your favorite quote/comment that our genius Reid have sad?
Must be something, cause he says a lot of funny stuff!!

Dr. Spencer Reid 75 replies

Click here to write a response...
over a year ago Solsikke said…
Derek Morgan: And remember, play into the guy's fantasy, believe it yourself.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Actually, did you know that dentists and surgeons have been secretly recruited to implant these during otherwise normal medical procedures? This has been happening on and off since the late 1930s.
[Morgan looks at him]
Dr. Spencer Reid: Told me to believe.

Elle Greenaway: Um, Reid, you probably saved my life in there.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Probably? I totally saved your life.
[he smiles]
Dr. Spencer Reid: And I'm pretty certain it was caught on tape.

Dr. Spencer Reid: You should see what comes up when you type "death" into a search engine.
Derek Morgan: No wonder you can't find a date.

Derek Morgan: I hate not having a plan. We're looking for a needle in a haystack.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Actually, it's more like we're looking for a needle in a pile of needles.
Derek Morgan: What?
Dr. Spencer Reid: A needle would stand out in a haystack.

Dr. Spencer Reid: Do you think it's weird that I knew that ballad?
Elle Greenaway: Reid, I don't know how you know half the stuff you know, but I'm glad you do.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Do you think that's why I can't get a date?
Elle Greenaway: Have you ever asked anyone?
[Reid shifts his eyes]
Elle Greenaway: That's why you can't get a date.

[referring to Gideon]
Dr. Spencer Reid: Why does he call me Dr. Reid?
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: Because they just see you as a kid. He wants them to treat you with respect.

Derek Morgan: Reid, are you good with this? We've got a woman who's only got a few hours left to live, an incomplete profile and a Unit Chief on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
[Gideon comes in from behind him]
Jason Gideon: They don't call them nervous breakdowns anymore.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's called a "Major Depressive Episode."
Derek Morgan: I know!

Jason Gideon: Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Samuel Beckett.
Derek Morgan: Try not. Do or do not.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yoda.

Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: This is Special Agent Dr. Reid.
FBI Student: Oh, you look too young to have gone to medical school.
Dr. Spencer Reid: They are Ph.D.'s, three of them.
FBI Student: What, are you a genius or something?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I don't believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified, but I do have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, can read 20,000 words per minute.
[pause]
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yes, I'm a genius.
over a year ago momo0231 said…
laugh
your 3rd is my favorite! of course i would definetly date Reid so Morgan is a tiny bit wrong ;)
over a year ago Solsikke said…
Totaly agree! :P
Morgan is soooo wrong!
over a year ago Buffyfan92 said…
big smile
Some of my favs that you don't have on your list;) :

"It has been said that time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue, and the pain lessens, but it is never gone."

Reid: I don't know everything. I mean, despite the fact that you think I do.
Morgan: I never said that. When have I ever said that?
Reid: Every day since I met you.
Elle: This morning at breakfast.
Hotchner: Yesterday when he beat you at cards.

Morgan: Yeah Reid, why are you still afraid of the dark?
Reid: Because of the inherent absence of light

Derek Morgan: So tell me, what does keep young Dr. Reid awake at night? Wait, let me guess. Memorizing some obscure textbook? No, no, no. Working on cold fusion? No, I got it, I got it, I got it. Watching Star Trek and laughing at all the physics mistakes?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Actually, there aren't that many scientific errors in Star Trek, especially considering how long ago it was made. There are certain improbabilities, but not that many outright errors.
Derek Morgan: Right.

Lila Archer: Really, Spencer, you should live a little.
Reid: Live a little? I've known you for forty-eight hours and I feel like I've aged ten years!

Reid: Are you hacking into the government HMO database? Is that legal?
Garcia: Of course not. We'll go to prison and you'll become someone's bitch.
Reid: Really?

Reid: I was a twelve year old prodigy in a high school. Hotch, you kick like a nine year-old girl.

Reid: "I'm about to get naked, so they can scrub me down. Is that something you really wanna see?"

Reid: "I never have any normal fans."

Mr. Davenport: Excuse me c-can you actually read that fast?
Reid: Our conscious mind can process 16 bits of information per second, our unconscious however can process 11 million.
Reid: Yes, I, I really can read this fast.

Hotchner: Physics magic?
Reid: Yes, sir.
Hotchner: Reid, we talked about this.
Reid: I'm sorry, sir.
Hotchner: You're really starting to get some distance on these things.

Reid: It’s just like when Morgan freaked out in the elevator.
Morgan: I freaked?
Reid: That’s beside the point.

Reid: Statistically, 94% of all serial arsonists are male, 75% are white and few, if any, are ever caught.
Prentiss: Few? You don’t have a percentage?
Reid: 16%. Those 16% set 30 plus fires before they’re ever apprehended. I’m trying to be more conversational.
Prentiss: Oh. It’s not working.

JJ: He's so gorgeous.
Haley Hotchner: Thank you.
Reid: If you find baldness and wrinkles attractive.

Reid: (discussing chopsticks) It’s absolutely incredible, 1.3 billion people stay nourished because of these things.

Reid: Don't listen to him Garcia, he's all talk.

Reid: You should have listened to me.
Morgan: It wouldn't have saved that much time, Reid, let it go.
Reid: The interchange between the 405 and the 101 freeways is consistently rated the worst interchange in the entire world.
Morgan: Why do you know that?
Reid: The government report.
Morgan: So what?
Reid: So you work for the government, you don't read the reports?
Morgan: On traffic patterns in a city 2,500 miles from where I live?
Reid: 2,295 miles.
Morgan: Don't make me smack you in front of all these people.


Okay that was a lot! But he says so many awesome things;D
over a year ago SRBFF said…
big smile
omg i LOVE this!!! its already been said th ough
Reid: (discussing chopsticks) It’s absolutely incredible, 1.3 billion people stay nourished because of these things.

then there is

Reid:(holding 2 chopsticks) Its like eating with 2 number 2 pencils

OMG i LOVE him!!! like a bff or brother......:)
over a year ago reidlover247 said…
heart
I love everything he says!!! he is just so adorable!
over a year ago ncisfan001 said…
heart
omg reid is amazing!! Another few favorites i didn't see up there are:

Reid: Colon?
JJ: Cullen. The last name of the vampire family in Twilight.
Reid: What's Twilight?



Reid: Knowledge of law enforcement does suggest a criminal record.
Morgan: Or that he watches television.

Garcia: Reid, seriously, people that go inside that
house never come out. Spoooky.
Reid: Garcia, could you at least pretend not to enjoy
that rumor so much since I have actually entered that
house?

Hotch:"You told me you were clear to travel, you lied"
Prentiss:"Naughty boy"
Reid:"No I didn't, I am a doctor so technically it wasn't a lie"
Garcia:"What was it then?"
Reid:"Amm...second opinion"
Garcia:"You're my bitch now"

JJ: If anything should happen to us, it's up to you and Garcia to make sure that this boy gets into Yale.

Reid: Oh Yale, Yale. Do you want to go to Yale, Henry? That was your Godfather's safety school. Don't worry, I can get you into Caltech with one phone call.

Reid: Sorry I'm late.
Rossi: I hope she was worth it.
Morgan: I hope it was a she.
over a year ago lovedrreid said…
crying
"Between the idea and the reality, between the motion and the act, falls the shadow." T.S. Elliot (Sex, Birth, Death) that was a sad episode!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
over a year ago lovedrreid said…
smile
My motto is: "If you don't like Reid, I don't like you!"
over a year ago lovedrreid said…
surprise
Emily: What's the matter with you.
Reid: What do you mean what's the matter with me?
Emily: I've never seen you act this way.
Reid: Oh, really, in the months that you've known me, you've never seen me act this way? No offense, Emily, you don't really know what you're talking about, do you?

THAT WAS AN IRRATIONAL OUTBURST. DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING!
over a year ago lovedrreid said…
hope you like this picture i made for th quote from sex birth death by ts eliot
hope you like this picture i made for th quote from sex birth death by ts eliot
over a year ago Paramore-CSI said…
I'm about to get naked, so they can scrub me down. Is that something you really wanna see?"
buffy fan I love this one and If I was there I wouldve said hell yeah!
over a year ago reidstalker777 said…
heart

Reid: A psycho with a whistle. That's not wierd...

Reid: Can you guys do me a favor
 Others: Yeah?
 Reid: Can at least one of you look like you're going to see me again?
 Hauchner: Bye, Reid. See you when you get back.
 
Reid: *adresses psycho's imaginary friend* Why don't you let him make his own decisions?
 Psycho: You can see him?
 Reid: Yeah, he's right there.

JJ: No matter what happens this time, we don't split up, clear?
Reid: Crystal clear.
over a year ago reidstalker777 said…
heart
I love Reid!!!
over a year ago alicecullenrox1 said…
big smile
Jason Gideon: You havin' fun?
Dr. Spencer Reid: [dully] Yes. Definately. I'm definately having fun.
Jason Gideon: Make a wish?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Can I take this hat off?
Jason Gideon: I wouldn't.
Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: Hey, Spence. First piece for the birthday boy.
Dr. Spencer Reid: [to Gideon] Do you know she's the only person in the whole world who calls me 'Spence.'

Derek Morgan: I hate not having a plan. We're looking for a needle in a haystack.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Actually, it's more like we're looking for a needle in a pile of needles.
Derek Morgan: What?
Dr. Spencer Reid: A needle would stand out in a haystack.


Dr. Spencer Reid: Look at me. Without a gun I look like a teacher's assistant!

Dr. Spencer Reid: Melted wax?
Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: Candle wax?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Candles are used in rituals.
Jason Gideon: They're also used on birthday cakes.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Actually, they were originally used to protect the birthday celebrant from demons for the coming year. As a matter of fact, down to the fourth century, Christianity rejected the birthday celebration as a Pagan ritual.
Sheriff Bridges: What kind of a doctor are you?

[Dr Reid has found steganographic messages hidden in letters written by a convict in prison but can't read the messages without the key]
David Rossi: What do you need to crack it?
Dr. Spencer Reid: The ability to clone myself and a year's supply of Adderall.
David Rossi: I'll put on the coffee.
over a year ago allyxx said…
omg i love reid sooo much soooo cute and single... lol love yu people for makin this page i have never met another dr reid obsessed person b4 and im glad t no im not the only one XD sadly, only one of us can marry him lol haha do you know i have a notebook with every single quote and victim and murderer/rapist/arsonist name and the name of the people who said the quotes and who actually wrote them and the name number and series of the episode OBSESSION NEVER ENDS!! xd
over a year ago allyxx said…
surprise
ps people of criminal minds and reid and morgan lovers did yu know that there is actually a picture of derek morgan standing completely naked on a gay beach????? nooo why is it always the hot ones..
over a year ago allyxx said…
hey heres sum more funny quotes ...[to Elle]
Jason Gideon: You're all right?
Elle Greenaway: Yeah, I'm fine, Dad.
Jason Gideon: Elle?
Elle Greenaway: Yeah?
Jason Gideon: Don't ever call me "Dad" again.
[he walks away]
Elle Greenaway: How do you think he'd feel about Mom?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Let me know when you're going to do that so I can, uh, run.

Lila Archer: [Lila takes a sip of Reid's soda] You don't mind sharing with me, do you?
Dr. Spencer Reid: No.
[Lila takes off her robe. She is wearing a bikini underneath. Reid stares at her as she walks away]
Derek Morgan: You don't mind sharing with me, do you?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Shut up!

Dr. Spencer Reid: Think about who shares the exact DNA makeup of another person.
Derek Morgan: Read, you're not seriously floating around the idea of an evil twin, are you?
Dr. Spencer Reid: No, I'm not. I'm floating the idea of an *eviler* twin.


Penelope Garcia: [to Hotch via webcam with Reid] I got something that might help us with that...
Dr. Spencer Reid: Technically *we* have something that might help us with that.

Dr. Spencer Reid: [to Prentiss via webcam with Garcia] Anything less than 10,000 dollars keeps the IRS off your trail.
Penelope Garcia: [desperately] I know that too.

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"Criminal Minds: Memoriam (#4.7)" (2008)
Dr. Spencer Reid: [walks into his hotel room with a box, surprised to see Rossi and Morgan there] What are you guys doing here?
Derek Morgan: Hey. What's it look like we're doing?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Uh, breaking into my room and watching Days of Our Lives.
David Rossi: The Young and the Restless.


Dr. Spencer Reid: I'm with the FBI.
Trailer Park Manager: FBI? You're not serious. You look like a pipe-cleaner with eyes. I could snap you like a twig.

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"Criminal Minds: Faceless, Nameless (#5.1)" (2009)
Penelope Garcia: [to Reid on the phone] Okay, do you want biological information or full medical charts?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Can you *get* the full medical charts?
Penelope Garcia: You know for a smart boy you still ask a lot of *dumb* questions.

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"Criminal Minds: The Big Wheel (#4.22)" (2009)
Emily Prentiss: [in the investigation room; looking at Reid] What's missing from the Michelle Watson murder is any sign of rage or overkill.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, instead on the tape we see signs of remorse. A complete and sudden emotional change. It's absolutely fascinating.
Penelope Garcia: [walking over to Prentiss, looking at Reid] I love you, Reid, but the stuff you find fascinating is sad.



sooo more of mi fav quotes!! leave a comment! xx
over a year ago riedgirl200 said…
big smile
i love everything he says he is a genius.
over a year ago ally064 said…
laugh
my favorite is

Lila Archer: [Lila takes a sip of Reid's soda] You don't mind sharing with me, do you?
Dr. Spencer Reid: No.
[Lila takes off her robe. She is wearing a bikini underneath. Reid stares at her as she walks away]
Derek Morgan: You don't mind sharing with me, do you?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Shut up!


over a year ago KittyBytes said…
Reid: "I'm about to get naked, so they can scrub me down. Is that something you really wanna see?"
Me: YES!
lol.

I like this one: My mother's a paranoid schizophrenic who would forget to eat if she wasn't properly medicated and supervised.
over a year ago NotGivingUp said…
laugh
I'm so glad someone made this page! i've found so mnay quotes that i love! reid is so adorable! i'm glad that other people feel the same way about him too! REID ROCKS!!!!
over a year ago NotGivingUp said…
sad
wait. where is a place where you can watch free and full episodes of criminal minds? every website i've been too cuts off the episodes halfway :(
over a year ago spencerreid97 said…
heart
Reid; What's that?
Prentiss: It's a star puzzle. It's impossible to put together. There's actually a romantic tale behind it. There was this prince who loved this princess and he wanted to show her how much he loved her. So he caught a falling star, but he was so excited he dropped it, and it broke into all those little peices. He frantically put the pieces back together to show him his undying love for her.
Reid: That makes no sense. You can't catch a falling star, it would burn up in the atmospere.
Prentiss: Well, it's a fable. It doesn't have to make sense.
Reid: But fables have morals, that didn't have a moral.
Prentiss: Ok, well it's just a little romantic tale. The point is that the puzzle is impossible....
Reid: (put the puzzle back together in a few seconds)
Prentiss: There's alot to hate about you Docter Reid.

Dr. Spencer Reid: Hey, Morgan? Has there ever been a girl that you wanted to be with for, you know, more than just one night?
Derek Morgan: Excuse me?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I've never seen you with the same girl twice.
Derek Morgan: What, are you calling me a dog?
Dr. Spencer Reid: No, no, not at all. I'm just trying to figure out if this feeling I have is ever gonna go away

Derek Morgan: Easy there tough guy. Have some coffee with your sugar.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I need something to wake me up.
Derek Morgan: Ooh, late night?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Very.
Derek Morgan: My man!
Dr. Spencer Reid: Not that kind of late night!

Derek Morgan: [trying to help Reid learn how to pick up women] What makes you feel confident?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Statistics.
Derek Morgan: No

Dr. Spencer Reid: [wakes up in hospital] Are you eating jello?
Derek Morgan: Hey kid.
[to the hallway]
Derek Morgan: Hey, Doc. He's awake.
Dr. Spencer Reid: [to Morgan] Is there any *more* jello?

Dr. Spencer Reid: Do you mind if we swing by a book store, I want to re-read Empty Planet before we meet with the author, I haven't read it since I was six.
Derek Morgan: Six? I was still riding my big wheeler at six!
Derek Morgan: Do you mind, it'll only take ten minutes.
Jason Gideon: Do buy it or to read it?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Uh both actually.

Dr. Spencer Reid: [Looking through glass at Professor Rothchild] I never have any normal fans.

over a year ago salsasoccer27 said…
i like it in the episode where him and hotch were talking to an old criminal and when the guy is getting ready to kill hotch hey speaks up from the corner and says "i know why you killed those people" then he starts talking about statistics and stuff, ending with, the criminal is kinda fascinated so he listens,reid ends with "so it wasn't really them who necer had a chance, it was you" then the police come and handcuff him. before the criminal asks, "is that true, i never really had a chance?" reid, keeping his head down and walking quickly out says "i dunno, maybe" it was soooo funny and he was ausome on the episode. it sounds weird when i type it, though.

also " i know what its like to be afraid of your own minds" awsome quote
over a year ago Inumimi333 said…
sheriff (( referring to Reid)) :where did you find him?
Rossi: he was left on the doorstep of the BAU
over a year ago zasu said…
laugh
What's Twilight?
The best
over a year ago Im_Scooter said…
smile
"Happy all Hallows eve folks. Its a paraphrase from celtic mythology. Tomorrow night all order is suspended and the barriers between the natural and supernatural are temporarily removed"

I love this quote so much because I am also obsessed with Halloween.
over a year ago hottiecoolcat said…
MORGAN:REID WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK??
REID:THE INHERIT ABSENCE OF LIGHT.
MORGAN:THATS PRETTY GOOD.

last edited over a year ago
over a year ago hottiecoolcat said…
cool
A question that often drives me hazy. Am I or the otheers crazy?

over a year ago RavenandKuba said…
I dont think anyone added this one yet. When Reid calls Garcia to send cigerette butts for analysis and Garica say's, "Oh reid. I love it when you say butts." So funny! Does anyone know the episode?
over a year ago hottiecoolcat said…
yeah i saw it a thousand times just kidding but yeah i saw it
last edited over a year ago
over a year ago hottiecoolcat said…
....ROSSI:REID?
REID:REID HERE.
ROSSIS FRIEND:10 LETTERS CRATER CREATER?
REID:HMM 10 LETTERS CRATER CREATER?
GARCIA:ARCTANGENT.
ROSSIS FRIEND:DANG SHES SMART.
over a year ago mrsspencereid said…
laugh

Spencer Reid: I got shot in the leg and I don't get any cookies

Reid (to Derek Morgan): I don't want to be in an elevator with you, to be honest.

Reid: ....when Morgan freaked out in te elevator this morning.
Morgan: I freaked?
Reid: That's beside the point.

J.J: Have you ever even felt a baby kick before
Reid: No.
(J.J takeshis hand and buts it on her belly)
Reid: That doesnt feak you out?
J.J: No, why? Does it freak you out?
Reid:Very much so...


I love Reid!!!! Hes hillarious!!!
over a year ago hottiecoolcat said…
Officer:He put March 21 2006 on the letter
REID:That was a Tuesday
over a year ago hottiecoolcat said…
REID: Is there room for 1 more?
JJ:How is i just went through 15 of labor and u look worse than I do
REID:Dont be ridiculous.U look beautiful.
over a year ago hottiecoolcat said…
REID:Mr Corbett dont do it.Think about Darci.
Mr Corbett: I am thinking about Darci
REID:He'll be dead.He wont feel a thing and youll be in prison.Give me the gun.
Mr Corbett; Im already in prison.(hands REID the gun)How did u know?
REID:Ur affect ur behavior.Yesterday u called me by my first name.
Mr Corbett:If could predict this.How come u couldnt predict hed take my Darci
over a year ago hottiecoolcat said…
Morgan:Hey whats that new tech girls name(talking about Garcia)?
REID:Gomez I think.

Ha REID messed up
over a year ago hottiecoolcat said…
Prentiss:Have u called ur mom ur coming yet
REID:(avoiding the question)Why arent we talking about the case?
Morgan:Because someone fell asleep (REID)(laughing)
over a year ago hottiecoolcat said…
REID:P-push the emergency button
Morgan:...Iam REID. Push pull pusn pull.HOTCH!!
REID:(high squeky voice)HOTCH!!!
(elvater opens)
Hotch:Was that the alarm?
Morgan:Yeah
Hotch:U guys ok?
REID:(out of breath)I'll get back to u on that.

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Prentiss:R u considering it?
REID:What?
Prentiss:Having baby geniuses 1 day?

-----------------------------------------­---­---­---­---­---­---­---­---­--
Morgan:This has never happened to me before.
REID:Its never happened to me before either
Prentiss:It cant happen to u.Uhave an eidtic memory
Morgan:Besides u only have 1 name to remember(Prentiss and him laugh)

-----------------------------------------­---­---­---­---­---­---­---­---­--
Rossi:REID r u in front of a map
REID:I am now
Rossi:R there tracks leading to Sacramento?
REID:(looking at the map)Hes hopping trains
last edited over a year ago
over a year ago hottiecoolcat said…
REID:Dont listen to him Garcia hes all talk(smack)ow.JJ HE just hit me
JJ:Boys behave or I'll ground u both
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REID:Im accually excited about going to New York
Morgan:Uve never been to New York before?
REID:Weve never had an unsub in New York.
Hotch:We really need to talk REID in to more vacation time
-----------------------------------------­---­---­---­---­---­---­---­---­--
Garcia:REID we need a D.O.B. on Prentiss
REID:10/12/197...
Prentiss:Hey
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JJ:What was that
REID:It means jacob is being moved to the excution chamber.
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A sad soul can kill u quicker way quicker than a germ
-----------------------------------------­---­---­---­---­---­---­---­---­--
REID:What was that?
JJ:Local milita newspaper
REID:Yeah drop the FBI part
over a year ago me21431 said…
as an answer to RavenandKuba the episode was called north mammon on season two
over a year ago me21431 said…
i personaly love reids joke... "How many existentialists does it take to screw in a ight bulb?" that was the best
over a year ago pinkgierl said…
heart
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so glad i found this page i LOVE dr.ried SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much.
ps. morgan is totally wrong i would TOTALLY date spencer
over a year ago allyxx said…
big smile
awwwwww i love ppl who keep the spirit f dr reids cuteness alive :D keep it up ppl's !! XD
over a year ago spencerreid19 said…
heart
Here are a few of mine:
Reid; What's that?
Prentiss: It's a star puzzle. It's impossible to put together. There's actually a romantic tale behind it. There was this prince who loved this princess and he wanted to show her how much he loved her. So he caught a falling star, but he was so excited he dropped it, and it broke into all those little peices. He frantically put the pieces back together to show him his undying love for her.
Reid: That makes no sense. You can't catch a falling star, it would burn up in the atmospere.
Prentiss: Well, it's a fable. It doesn't have to make sense.
Reid: But fables have morals, that didn't have a moral.
Prentiss: Ok, well it's just a little romantic tale. The point is that the puzzle is impossible....
Reid: (put the puzzle back together in a few seconds)
Prentiss: There's alot to hate about you Docter Reid


Derek Morgan: Easy there tough guy. Have some coffee with your sugar.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I need something to wake me up.
Derek Morgan: Ooh, late night?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Very.
Derek Morgan: My man!
Dr. Spencer Reid: Not that kind of late night!

Dr. Spencer Reid: Do you mind if we swing by a book store, I want to re-read Empty Planet before we meet with the author, I haven't read it since I was six.
Derek Morgan: Six? I was still riding my big wheeler at six!
Derek Morgan: Do you mind, it'll only take ten minutes.
Jason Gideon: Do buy it or to read it?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Uh both actually.

Lila Archer: [Lila takes a sip of Reid's soda] You don't mind sharing with me, do you?
Dr. Spencer Reid: No.
[Lila takes off her robe. She is wearing a bikini underneath. Reid stares at her as she walks away]
Derek Morgan: You don't mind sharing with me, do you?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Shut up!

Jason Gideon: You're all right?
Elle Greenaway: Yeah, I'm fine, Dad.
Jason Gideon: Elle?
Elle Greenaway: Yeah?
Jason Gideon: Don't ever call me "Dad" again.
[he walks away]
Elle Greenaway: How do you think he'd feel about Mom?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Let me know when you're going to do that so I can, uh, run.

Dr. Spencer Reid: You should see what comes up when you type "death" into a search engine.
Derek Morgan: No wonder you can't find a date.

Derek Morgan: I hate not having a plan. We're looking for a needle in a haystack.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Actually, it's more like we're looking for a needle in a pile of needles.
Derek Morgan: What?
Dr. Spencer Reid: A needle would stand out in a haystack.

Dr. Spencer Reid: Do you think it's weird that I knew that ballad?
Elle Greenaway: Reid, I don't know how you know half the stuff you know, but I'm glad you do.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Do you think that's why I can't get a date?
Elle Greenaway: Have you ever asked anyone?
[Reid shifts his eyes]
Elle Greenaway: That's why you can't get a date.

Mr. Davenport: Excuse me c-can you actually read that fast?
Reid: Our conscious mind can process 16 bits of information per second, our unconscious however can process 11 million.
Reid: Yes, I, I really can read this fast.

Hotchner: Physics magic?
Reid: Yes, sir.
Hotchner: Reid, we talked about this.
Reid: I'm sorry, sir.
Hotchner: You're really starting to get some distance on these things.

Reid: It’s just like when Morgan freaked out in the elevator.
Morgan: I freaked?
Reid: That’s beside the point.

Reid: Statistically, 94% of all serial arsonists are male, 75% are white and few, if any, are ever caught.
Prentiss: Few? You don’t have a percentage?
Reid: 16%. Those 16% set 30 plus fires before they’re ever apprehended. I’m trying to be more conversational.
Prentiss: Oh. It’s not working.

Reid: You should have listened to me.
Morgan: It wouldn't have saved that much time, Reid, let it go.
Reid: The interchange between the 405 and the 101 freeways is consistently rated the worst interchange in the entire world.
Morgan: Why do you know that?
Reid: The government report.
Morgan: So what?
Reid: So you work for the government, you don't read the reports?
Morgan: On traffic patterns in a city 2,500 miles from where I live?
Reid: 2,295 miles.
Morgan: Don't make me smack you in front of all these people.

Hotch:"You told me you were clear to travel, you lied"
Prentiss:"Naughty boy"
Reid:"No I didn't, I am a doctor so technically it wasn't a lie"
Garcia:"What was it then?"
Reid:"Amm...second opinion"
Garcia:"You're my bitch now"

JJ: If anything should happen to us, it's up to you and Garcia to make sure that this boy gets into Yale.
Reid: Oh Yale, Yale. Do you want to go to Yale, Henry? That was your Godfather's safety school. Don't worry, I can get you into Caltech with one phone call.

Reid: Sorry I'm late.
Rossi: I hope she was worth it.
Morgan: I hope it was a she.












over a year ago hottiecoolcat said…
I <3 REID hes so sexy and hot and sexy
over a year ago hamsterlover78 said…
smile
he is amazing
over a year ago ReidLover97 said…
Omg, I love Reid so much!!! I swear if I could I would marry him. I haven't seen nameless faceless yet but I want to watch it cause it's supposed to be really good. My favorite quotes from Reid are:

Reid: I was a 12 year old prodigy in high school, you kick like a nine year old girl.

[Reid shoots a guy in the forehead]
Hotch: Nice shot
Reid: I was aiming for his leg

Hotch: You told me you were clear to travel, you lied
Prentiss: Naughty boy
Reid: No I didn't, I am a doctor so technically it wasn't a lie
Garcia: What was it then?
Reid: Amm...second opinion
Garcia: You're my bitch now

Reid: Are you hacking into the government HMO database? Is that legal?
Garcia: Of course not. We'll go to prison and you'll become someone's bitch.
Reid: Really?

Reid: Can you guys do me a favor?
Morgan: Sure anything
Reid: Can at least one of you look like you're going to see me again?

Love you Reid!!!
last edited over a year ago
over a year ago ReidLover97 said…
crying
Love Reid so much, I haven't seen it yet but IK I'm gonna cry when he gets shot
over a year ago hottiecoolcat said…
REID is soo HOT and SEXY i always cry when hes n pain and hurting im n pain and hurting
over a year ago hottiecoolcat said…
big smile
som1 from doyles group:anybody hve a smoke how bout u beanpole(referring to REID)
Rossi:what do u think?
DR.REID:narc issues with deep insercuity
Rossi:so if we puncture self image this hoodrat will talk
some1 from doyles group:hey hey hey i aint no hoodrat.u take that back
Rossi:well u look like 1,smell like 1(to REID)u smell that?
REID:hoodrat
over a year ago Hippiepeace34 said…
heart
I need an opinion from u guys, is it weird to have a collection of Criminal Minds in your room? Because I do. I have posters all over my wall i have all of the DVDs and have a really rare AWESOME key chain that I don't use. I love Criminal Minds but is it really weird to have such a massive collection?? Because honestly I love this show and just wanna express it.Tell me if I'm to obssessed or are there more people out there like me?? Also I have a mini bit for Reid all of his hairstyles and quotes and stuff. Weird right??
over a year ago scathac24 said…
Reid: ok guys stay back
(morgan and giddeon exchange looks)
*place blows up flinging reid into a wall*
Morgan: what the hell is wrong with you
Reid: told you to stay back
over a year ago Vegito3069 said…
I love these

Reid: I was a twelve year old prodigy in a high school. Hotch, you kick like a nine year-old girl.

Dr. Spencer Reid: Do you mind if we swing by a book store, I want to re-read Empty Planet before we meet with the author, I haven't read it since I was six.
Derek Morgan: Six? I was still riding my big wheeler at six!
Derek Morgan: Do you mind, it'll only take ten minutes.
Jason Gideon: Do buy it or to read it?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Uh both actually.

"Criminal Minds: Memoriam (#4.7)" (2008)
Dr. Spencer Reid: [walks into his hotel room with a box, surprised to see Rossi and Morgan there] What are you guys doing here?
Derek Morgan: Hey. What's it look like we're doing?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Uh, breaking into my room and watching Days of Our Lives.
David Rossi: The Young and the Restless.
Reid; What's that?
Prentiss: It's a star puzzle. It's impossible to put together. There's actually a romantic tale behind it. There was this prince who loved this princess and he wanted to show her how much he loved her. So he caught a falling star, but he was so excited he dropped it, and it broke into all those little peices. He frantically put the pieces back together to show him his undying love for her.
Reid: That makes no sense. You can't catch a falling star, it would burn up in the atmospere.
Prentiss: Well, it's a fable. It doesn't have to make sense.
Reid: But fables have morals, that didn't have a moral.
Prentiss: Ok, well it's just a little romantic tale. The point is that the puzzle is impossible....
Reid: (put the puzzle back together in a few seconds)
Prentiss: There's alot to hate about you Docter Reid.



over a year ago cuantocabronf said…
mischievous
The one of the vampires:


Garcia: It's sealed.
...
JJ: You've already unlocked it, no?
Garcia: It was Cullen.
Reid: Coleman?
JJ: Cullen, the vampire family of Twilight.
Reid: what's Twilight?
over a year ago xSpencerReidx said…
heart
This is the first lines I have ever heard Spencer say. And then I just fell in love with him!!!

Hotch:I'm Agent Hotchner. This is Special Agent Dr. Reid.
David Woodland: You look too young to have gone to medical school.
SPENCER!:They're Ph.D.s. --three of them.
David Woodland: Are you a genius or something?
SPENCER!: I don't believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified--but I do have an IQ of 187 and an eidetic memory and can read 20,000 words per minute.
(pause) (David Woodland looks at him funny (Spence))
SPENCER:Yes, I'm a genius.
Hotch: (Talks to dog) Sandy, you get a lot of attention, don't you?
David Woodland: Yeah, Heather loves this dog. I feed her when Heather's away. Usually, she's fine, but ... lately, she won't eat. It's almost like she can sense something's wrong.
SPENCER!: Not sense. Smell. Our apocrine sweat gland releases secretions in response to emotional stress
over a year ago DarkerKill said…
"What is Twillight" *clueless face* EPIC!~
over a year ago reidrulez34 said…
laugh
My Favorite is when The BAU is debriefed on the drug cartels on the Texas/Mexico border and Morgan breaks out the MP5 submachine guns for safety. Reid suggests that he's not authorized to carry one.
Reid-"You guys, here's the thing; I don't think I technically have the authorization to carry a weapon like that..."

Morgan-"You don't."
over a year ago reidrulez34 said…
laugh
oh and i forgot to put another one
Reid-...(angel maker episode)Normally you would use a computer to decipher it but it was faster to just do it long hand
Emily-(pokes Reid) He's so life like
over a year ago Sonnythealpha said…
Heres one i havent seen yet not sure if this is right tought

lila; grab a suit

reid: no i will not grab a suit there is a sltaker out there shooting people in the head!

over a year ago LambertsLabelle said…
awsome writers!!!!They really get him totally!!!!!
over a year ago criminal_minds1 said…
heart
"I know what it's like to be afraid of your own mind,"Dr Spencer Reid <3-<3-<3
over a year ago mrs-spencerreid said…
kiss
This is so cool!!! And the "I never have any normal fans" I am a very crazy fan! CRAZY FOR REID!
over a year ago mrs-spencerreid said…
kiss
Reid is sexy!!! Rawr!
over a year ago hottiecoolcat said…
Dr. Spencer Reid: If you want to punish me for taking a risk, then I encourage you to do that, but do not put the rest of my team on trial for something that I suggested.
Senator Cramer: Calm down, agent.
Dr. Spencer Reid: This *is* calm, and it's 'doctor'.

Penelope Garcia: Reid, we need a D.O.B. on Prentiss.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Uh, 7:12am, October 12th, 197...
Emily Prentiss: [cuts Reid off] Hey!

Derek Morgan: [on the phone, to Garcia] Don't make me spank you when I get back.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Don't listen to him, Garcia. He's all talk.
[Morgan slaps Reid on the back of the head]
Dr. Spencer Reid: Ahh! JJ, he just hit me!
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Boys, behave, or I will ground you both.

Dr. Spencer Reid: [looking at a piece of paper] It's remarkable. Something like this makes you question everything you thought you knew.
Penelope Garcia: Yeah. It's like the Monolith in 2001.
Dr. Spencer Reid: So there was actually a time when something like this was socially acceptable?
Penelope Garcia: Oh... you're young.
[takes the paper from Reid]
Penelope Garcia: The eighties left a lot of people confused.
[a photo of Prentiss from high school is revealed]
Penelope Garcia: This is, uh, especially sad, though.
Emily Prentiss: All right, very funny, you guys. Very funny.
[snatched the paper from Garcia]
Emily Prentiss: What'd you do to it?
Penelope Garcia: Do?
Emily Prentiss: You obviously aletered it in photoshop or something.
[shows the photo to Garcia]
Emily Prentiss: That *hair?*
Penelope Garcia: Oh, no, Pussycat. That - that's all you. Garfield High, Class of '89.
Emily Prentiss: [looking at the photo again] You really didn't change anything?
Penelope Garcia: I hacked it, as is. You're seriously trying to tell me you don't remember rocking that look?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Perhaps your lack of recognition stems from a dissociative fugue suffered in adolescence. Say, at a Siouxsie and the Banshees concert?
Penelope Garcia: [laughs]

Dr. Spencer Reid: I was remediated in the academy also... what was my issue - marksmanship, physical training, obstacle course, Hogan's Alley, you know, pretty much everything that wasn't technically book related. They ultimately had to make exceptions to allow me into the field.


Derek Morgan: You're not enjoying this, are you?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I like a good paper-trail. I find it meditative.
Derek Morgan: Is it really that hard for you to be normal just one time?

Dr. Spencer Reid: [after Hotch throws him a folder] What's this?
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: You told me you were cleared to travel. You lied.
Emily Prentiss: Naughty boy.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Uh, *no* I *didn't.* I *am* a doctor, so *technically* it wasn't a lie.
Penelope Garcia: What was it then?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Um... second opinion?
Penelope Garcia: Hmm. You're my bitch now. [leaves the room as Morgan chuckles]

JJ: What do you suppose this is about?
Reid: Call me cynical, but considering it's 2 a.m., I doubt it's good news.
JJ: You are a genius.

Spencer Reid: “We interrupt your regularly scheduled musical selection with an important announcement never wage a practical joke war with an MIT graduate because we have a history of going nuclear. Now sit back relax and enjoy the dulcet sounds of me screaming in your ear. AHHHHHHHHhhHHHHH”
last edited over a year ago
over a year ago Reid_Bayntonete said…
heart
[Reid is pouring piles of sugar into his coffee]
Derek Morgan: Easy there tough guy. Have some coffee with your sugar.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I need something to wake me up.
Derek Morgan: Ooh, late night?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Very.
Derek Morgan: My man!
Dr. Spencer Reid: Not that kind of late night!


Derek Morgan: I thought I was calling the office of Supreme Genius.
Penelope Garcia: Well, gorgeous, you've been re-routed to the office of Too Frickin' Bad


Reid; What's that?
Prentiss: It's a star puzzle. It's impossible to put together. There's actually a romantic tale behind it. There was this prince who loved this princess and he wanted to show her how much he loved her. So he caught a falling star, but he was so excited he dropped it, and it broke into all those little peices. He frantically put the pieces back together to show him his undying love for her.
Reid: That makes no sense. You can't catch a falling star, it would burn up in the atmospere.
Prentiss: Well, it's a fable. It doesn't have to make sense.
Reid: But fables have morals, that didn't have a moral.
Prentiss: Ok, well it's just a little romantic tale. The point is that the puzzle is impossible....
Reid: (put the puzzle back together in a few seconds)
Prentiss: There's alot to hate about you Doctor Reid.


MORGAN:REID WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK??
REID:THE INHERIT ABSENCE OF LIGHT.
MORGAN:THATS PRETTY GOOD.


Hotch:"You told me you were clear to travel, you lied"
Prentiss:"Naughty boy"
Reid:"No I didn't, I am a doctor so technically it wasn't a lie"
Garcia:"What was it then?"
Reid:"Amm...second opinion"
Garcia:"You're my bitch now"


Spencer Reid: “We interrupt your regularly scheduled musical selection with an important announcement never wage a practical joke war with an MIT graduate because we have a history of going nuclear. Now sit back relax and enjoy the dulcet sounds of me screaming in your ear. AHHHHHHHHhhHHHHH”

Not all Reid's but they're all my faves :)
over a year ago MsReid said…
laugh
This is the episode were Morgan and Reid are waging a prank war on each other. Reid, Hotch, Rossi, and Morgan are talking about a disorder or desease. People keep calling Reid and he finally has an outburst:
Reid: SON OF A BITCH!!! Hi! This is Dr. Spencer Reid and I actually can come to the phone right now with a very special message that your mother is a du-
Hotch: Reid
(hangs up the phone)
Reid: Sorry. I'm really sorry. I don't know. I don't know what got into me. Where we?
Hotch:I'm gonna have Garcia check into the medical records. What causes a symbolia?
(Reid looks at Morgan and realizes that it's Morgan's fault that people keep calling him but continues talking to Morgan)
Reid: S-s-s-severe trauma produces leitions in the insular cortex. Usually after a stroke, but this unsub is so young it's most likely caused by an external factor.
Rossi: Like a bomb going off next to him?
(Reid looks at Morgan again and emphazises what he says in reply to Ross)
Reid: Yeah! Like a BOMB going off next to him.
(Morgan smiles and his efforts to keep a straight face is failing)
Reid whispers: I'm crushing you
Morgan smiles and says: What?
Reid instantly says: what?
over a year ago 03zydrate93 said…
Reid: Hi i actually can come to the phone right now with a very special message that your mother is a.....
Hotchner: REID!


[Reid from Morgan's mp3]we interrupt your regularly scheduled musical selection with and important announcement never wage a practical joke war against an MIT graduate because we have a history of going nuclear now sit back and relax and enjoy the dulcet sounds of me screaming in your ear EAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Morgan: okay kid that was cute but that's all u got?
Reid faking a sleep: snore
[Morgan's phone rings]: hey bay...
[Reid's from phone] EAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
over a year ago BlakeVT223 said…
crying
hotch: reid if you`re mad you should mad at me
reid: i cant i didnt come to your house sobbing for 6 months
over a year ago divieya said…
kiss
reid is toooooooo adorable n sooooooooo hard to resiste!!!!!!!!! pls add more of reid's quotes! luv u guy for creating tis page!
over a year ago brin011 said…
3 but still i would totlly date Spencer
over a year ago jnrm said…
All of mine have already been said but he is the most amazing person ever and im still in love with him. I just dont get how he hasnt had a billion girls falling all over him!
over a year ago lovesmartguys said…
heart
Reid: "I'm about to get naked, so they can scrub me down. Is that something you really wanna see?" oh reid i would love to see that.
over a year ago dededededede said…
"I wouldn't want to ruin something so special, with something so trivial as looks."