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Fan fiction by dragonsmemory posted over a year ago
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"Easy does it…that's it. He's got your girl. He's headed back to his foul nest. Shoot him now, or you'll never see her again." The old man was clearly drunk, but he knew his stuff.
The boy lined up the arrowhead with the sackcloth dragon's heart. He released the string, sending the arrow flying towards the beast. The boy had aimed true, for the sackcloth dragon now had an arrow in his heart.
The old man took a huge swig from his mug. Learning to kill dragons was hard. Living with the old man was harder. He told constant stories of the dragons he had killed, drank constantly, and never failed to criticize his pupil. Yet, when the boy was old and ready to pass on his secrets, he would be doing the same things.
He turned back to the dummy dragon, walking up to it to retrieve his arrow and the watermelon the dragon had been clutching. This was harder than it looked. Dragonkilling involved complex ideas and processes, none of which the hunter's son understood. He had grown up knowing that to hunt any animal, one searched for signs of its prescence. The old man told him in the first week that he was wrong.
Guide by dragonsmemory posted over a year ago
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When dragons go looking for riders, there is next to no chance that any atchlings will be in that group. So, I compiled this little guide to help you be chosen.

STEP 1: Keep an eye out for dragons in the sky. They like humans that are eager for visits.
STEP 2: If one lands in front of you, address it as you would you sovereign monarch. All dragons like flattery and respect, but they dont like ass-kissing.
STEP 3: If it bows back, offer it a snack or a drink. Bowing is their way of greeting while earthbound. Odds are, the dragon will want a brief repast. Remember, it just flew across time and space.
STEP 4: Tell it you have always Known about dragons, but be honest. They can see through any lie you can cook up.
STEP 5: It will tell you if you were chosen. If so, congratulations. If not, then you probably have not yet met the right dragon. However, the dragon you did meet will spread the word about you, which will ptompt visits.
If you are chosen, you will remain here unless the dragon calls for you. Then it will either pick you up ir ask to meet somewhere in Eden.
List by dragonsmemory posted over a year ago
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1. Say "reptile" in front of one.
2. Pretend to roast a marshmallow in the dragon's flame.
3. When you get up from the couch, rub your backside and pretend its bruised.
4. If a dragon invites you to lunch, ask if you are the main course.
5. When riding, say "giddyap."
6. Tell the dragon that its most prized treasure is a forgery.
7. Say "we're off to see the lizard" when being taken to meet the rulers.
8. Pretend to look for shed skins or scales
9. Find a bald spot
10. Try to use logic. I guarantee they will correct you before you die.
11. Tell them Einstein was wrong.
12. Poke one in the eye
13. Give one a very spicy pepper or food, then laugh evilly while it eats.
14. Read it a children's book.
15. Say that humans are smarter.
16. Ask if it wants to meet your leader, then introduce it to the village idiot.
17. Sing " Fly Me to the Moon." It will think you really want to do those things