I have a little box in my room with my name on it in big blue letters inside the box i everything I want to but behind me...
Inside it lays these things:
My knifes
Pills
Bottles
Notes
The knifes are from a time in my life were slicing up my skin was a way of telling me I was living but deep down inside I know that the felling was just a lie. I once cut alone on my side small enough so no one would notice my I knew it was there and it reminded me of the truth. That I was alone.
The bottles are in there from a time in my life where I used to drink. That was a short time but I never want to go through it again..Its the feeling when you loss yourself your head aches along with your heart and your mind feels like it's going to explode and in that moment you can lose everything you ever loved...
The pills are in there from a time of my life when the lonely was all I felt it felt like the only way out...
The notes are from many things. Some from when I was plaining on killing myself others just talking about what I was going through...
I hope to move on and become happy as I put this little secret box away in my closet it's a reminder that things could be worse and I should be happy...because I want to be happy..trully happy..So we will see what happens..
Inside it lays these things:
My knifes
Pills
Bottles
Notes
The knifes are from a time in my life were slicing up my skin was a way of telling me I was living but deep down inside I know that the felling was just a lie. I once cut alone on my side small enough so no one would notice my I knew it was there and it reminded me of the truth. That I was alone.
The bottles are in there from a time in my life where I used to drink. That was a short time but I never want to go through it again..Its the feeling when you loss yourself your head aches along with your heart and your mind feels like it's going to explode and in that moment you can lose everything you ever loved...
The pills are in there from a time of my life when the lonely was all I felt it felt like the only way out...
The notes are from many things. Some from when I was plaining on killing myself others just talking about what I was going through...
I hope to move on and become happy as I put this little secret box away in my closet it's a reminder that things could be worse and I should be happy...because I want to be happy..trully happy..So we will see what happens..
I stare up at my little red ballon....
Floating above me,
Without a care in the world.
I wish to be like my little red ballon..
I want to fly..
So I can fly away from all the.
Hurt and Pain
And Scars and sadness..
I want to fly away from this colorless world..
And be free..
And just not care
Not care about what everyone thinks
So says or does..
Just float.
So I said to myself..
Self,
Why don't you go learn how to fly?
Why don't you try to learn?
So you my be free..
And then I got this crazy I idea that...
What if I jumped from a really high place..
And maybe just maybe I'd just know what to do..
As I walk shaky up to the edge I see a never ending life of sadness in front of me..
But if I look up I see a life of happiness and I now I want to go there...
Just one more step..
And I'll fly..
Just like my little red ballon..
And be free..
~P.S THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME~
Floating above me,
Without a care in the world.
I wish to be like my little red ballon..
I want to fly..
So I can fly away from all the.
Hurt and Pain
And Scars and sadness..
I want to fly away from this colorless world..
And be free..
And just not care
Not care about what everyone thinks
So says or does..
Just float.
So I said to myself..
Self,
Why don't you go learn how to fly?
Why don't you try to learn?
So you my be free..
And then I got this crazy I idea that...
What if I jumped from a really high place..
And maybe just maybe I'd just know what to do..
As I walk shaky up to the edge I see a never ending life of sadness in front of me..
But if I look up I see a life of happiness and I now I want to go there...
Just one more step..
And I'll fly..
Just like my little red ballon..
And be free..
~P.S THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME~
Okay here;s what's going on...
I found help and I made it to a phone in time I was brought to the doctors and ER and whatever.
The reason why I keep on passing out is because I triggered something in my spine that leads to my nerves and I messed it all up. I was also put on some new meds that help with sleep they messed up everything also but also I've been really sad lately..And the reason behind that is some meds I have to take everyday..
I take two pills in the morning because I need help focusing because when I was younger my mind couldn't tell what was fiction and what was reality I would get lost in my mind and sometimes couldn;t find a way out..But as I'm getting older those meds are working against me and in there theres some type of thing that triggers depression so I am no only taking those..
I'm really sick the doctor said..
And another thing,,
I came out..
I told my mother what I'd been doing..
About the pills..
So were working that out to..
I found help and I made it to a phone in time I was brought to the doctors and ER and whatever.
The reason why I keep on passing out is because I triggered something in my spine that leads to my nerves and I messed it all up. I was also put on some new meds that help with sleep they messed up everything also but also I've been really sad lately..And the reason behind that is some meds I have to take everyday..
I take two pills in the morning because I need help focusing because when I was younger my mind couldn't tell what was fiction and what was reality I would get lost in my mind and sometimes couldn;t find a way out..But as I'm getting older those meds are working against me and in there theres some type of thing that triggers depression so I am no only taking those..
I'm really sick the doctor said..
And another thing,,
I came out..
I told my mother what I'd been doing..
About the pills..
So were working that out to..