BEST OF MICHAEL:
Michael: Yeah. Because all I did was pull you out of a trash town and into a mansion in Los Santos.. And what do I get!?.. Nothing., nothing but an old picture of you in an old Hooker uniform, that I occasionally masterbate towards.
Jimmy: As do I
Micheal: (disgusted) OH MY GOD! That's disguesting! That's your mother!
Jimmy: I'm just being hones-
Micheal: (angrily) Get out! Get out of my house!
Micheal: (punches violent hole in wall) I SAID GET OUT!
(later that same evening)
Amanda: I don't like this Micheal.
Jimmy: Yeah.. Uncle T? Man?
Micheal: (glares) Jimmy?... Who let you back in the house
Michael: Why are you so angry!?
Trevor: BECAUSE! If I don't get angry, then my show would be boring!
Michael: But it isn't healthy to always be so angry. It's not like I ever get angry.. (a bunch of cutaways, that prove otherwise).
Michael: You know it's probably one of those things you SHOULDN'T ask about..
Michael: I only threw up twice, so it was a good day..
Jimmy: (trying to make a show about himself, and speaking infront of camera) Yo, this is J dog, an-
Michael: Jimmy! Stop talking like that, your fat white nerd, start acting like it.
Jimmy: Michael, get out! I'I'm trying to make a show!
Michael: Please don't. It's bad enough Trevor has one..
Michael approched Doctor Fredlanders office.
Fredlander: So.. I see your back around and making time for your mental health.
Michael: Not sure by I came to be honest.. Your not really doing much to help me.
Fredlander: Well.. The usually implies you value yourself only as others value you. Witch is usually the result of having a miserable childhood.
Michael: Well.. I had a perfectly wonderful childhood.
Fredlander: (unconvienced) Really.. Tell me about it?
(20 minutes later)
Michael: (sobbing uncontrollable and lying on the couch, with. Box of tissues, and lots of rolled up tissues around him) and above all else., when I was 11, my mommy told me that my pet turtle ran away.. (sniffs) but he didn't run away.. TURTLES CAN'T RUN!
Michael: (continues crying loudly)
Steve: We need you to steal a nerve gas for terriests.
Michael: (sarcastically) Oh sure! And while we're at it, let's all go watch my little pony and eat raw cookie doe.. Because todays the day to stop making SENCE!
Trevor: (angrily) is that sarcasm!?
Michael: (angrily) Your fuckin A right it's sarcasm! You fuck!.. A few weeks ago. I was happily retired, soaking by my swimming pool.. And my psychotic best friend shows up outta nowhere, to torture me over mistakes I made, HONEST mistakes I made. Almost a decade ago!
Michael: (appears in front of Trevors trailer, giving rock motion) T!
Trevor: (annoyedly) Get outta here Michael! Your ruining my show!
Michael: Huh. A show about you. I'm serprised it wasn't "already" ruined..
Words appear saying "(THAT'S MICHAEL)".
Michael approached Dave Norten.
Michael: Davy!? Sup!?
Dave: About as much as can be expected., but the news is 'not' good.
Michael: Ahh.. Why are you always tripping on life, yo!?
Dave: (annoyed) Why are you talking like that?
Michael: Don't trip on my voice bro!
Dave: (angrily) Shut up!
Dave: Anyway.. I know you did that fuckin jewelry job.
Micheal: (robbing a jewelry store to pay back a Mexican mob boss) I haven't been this excited sense I passed the second grade..
Michael: (only 10, and sitting with his mom)
Teacher: Mrs Townley your son will have to redo second grade..
Michael: (almost 16, sitting with his mom)
Teacher: Mrs Townley your son will have to redo second grade..
Teacher: Congrades Mr Townley you passed second grade..
Michael: (his current age) that's fantastic., but I have to go. There's a crazy Mexican after me, and I have to rob a jewelry store to pay him back.
Michael: (shots his way though the guards, killing about 20 before dramatically diving though the window but the lid of the dumpster closes and Michael lands painfully against it, nearly breaking his back, and slides off in pain).
Michael: (gets up and suddenly gets hit by a car and falls onto the ground).
Driver: Are you okay!? (opens his door but it smashes Michael in the face).
Michael: This is your moment! Please don't make us waste all the hard work your plastic surgeons have done. ON THE FLOOR! NOW!
Michael: (approaches worker) You! Fill this bag with clean, unmarked diamonds!.. But first!.. But first fix that notepad so it's at a right angle with the corner of your desk!
Packie: And tap that pile of receipts against a flat surface so they're not sticking out haphazardly!
Michael: (takes of the helmet) Okay, you know what., Fuck the money! Everybody grab a broom, were gonna tidy this place up!
Packie: He's Canadian!?
Michael: Yep. A lonely old Canadian brony who has no life outside this site.
Packie: God! no wonder we're all so screwed up in this verison!
Michael: Yeah.. Soon as I found out. I was ready to put a fuckin bullet in my mouth.
Packie: I don't blame you..
Michael: Yeah, but what can we do.. He's still the one writing this.
Sgt Buzz: (appears) Excuse me.. Anyone wanna join my train?
Michael: Fuck off Buzz! Nobody fuckin cares about fuckin Zombiewood anymore!
Franklyn: We gotta get outta here.. Take this gun (tosses him a pistol).
Michael: What gu- (it hits him the face as he failed to catch it) AAAHHH!
The gun falls down and accidentally shoots Franklyn in the foot.
Franklyn: AHHHH! WHAT THE HELL MICHAEL!
Micheal: I'm sorry. I didn't see it.
(Please stand by screen):
Franklyn: Alright, here it comes again.. Catch (tosses him the pistol, and Michael catches it this time).
Michael: Tha- (accidently fires it).
Franklyn: (dodges bullet) STOP DOING THAT!
Michael: Sorry.. It was an accident okay.
Franklyn: I better go call up Michal and Trevor.. Hopefully Michael dosen't do anything stupid before I get there.
Lester: Yes. Michael ALWAYS has a way of doing something stupid.
Tombstone saying Carly Townley.
Amanda: (crying) She wasn't even a month old.
Michael: I'm really sorry Amanda.. I just thought that if I shook her enough, she would stop crying... In a way I was right.
BEST OF TREVOR:
Man: (Cleaning a red Bodhi truck, witch is Trever's tradition car in the game).
Trevor: (comes in, wearing his traditional white t-shirt and sweat pants) Hey. Nice car man.
Man: Jee. Thanks mister..
Trevor: Say. Wanna see something, (gives the man a random magazine).
Man: (camera zoomed up on him) What am I suppose to do with this!?
Trevor: (shown in the car when the camera zoomed back out) It's suppose to distract you as I steal your car.
Man: (angrily) Hey!
Trevor: (driving off) You just been T-Jacked, bitch!
on: So boss. Now that you took care of the bikers? What we gonna do.
Trevor. (stops at the Sandy Chores bank) YOU are not doing anything. But 'I' am stopping by the bank here.. I have a deposit to check out.
Ron: Well.. Have fun I guess.
Trevor: (gets out, and grabs shotgun and then cocks it).. Ohh. I intend too!
Ron: (gasps) Wait! Is that a real gu- (Trevor runs in) TREVOR!
Trevor: (dramatically bursts in, wearing bike helmet to hide his face, and fires the shotgun into the air) NOBODY MOVE! I'M MAKING A DEPOSIT!
Michael: I've been in hiding.. But I DO see a therapist every so often.
Trevor: Therapist huh? I tried that once.. Didn't go so well.
Trevor: (in a therapy room) I'm telling you doc! I grieved him!.. And he wasn't even fuckin dead!.. The turd lied to me for all these years.
Doctor: I see.. And how dose that make you feel.
Trevor: (angrily) What is it with you!? Always with "feelings"..
Doctor: Just trying t-
Trevor: I HAD A HARD LIFE ALRIGHT! MY DADDY, WAS NOT, NICE TO ME!
Doctor: And how dose that make you f-
Trevor: (angrily breaks the doctors neck, killing him) FUCK YOU BITCH! WHO THE FUCK YOU SPEAKING TOO! WHO!?
Trevor: (angrily throws something) FUCKED WITH THE WRONG MOTHERFUCKER!
Trevor: ... FUUUCK!
Trevor: (to Micheal) Come on you fat fuck!
Michael: (hearing FIREWORKS playing loudly in the truck) Is this Katy fuckin Perry!?
Trevor: Yes.. Look. Just leave it on, it helps relax me!
Michael: Where's Trevor?
Pilot: He said he was too busy..
Franklyn: What could that crazy man POSSIBLY be busy with!?
Michael: Who knows.. But I'm sure whatever it is, is completely violent and terrifying..
Meanwhile in Trevor's trailor house..
Pinkie: (sitting cutely)
Trevor: (literary training her) Alright.. Where gonna try this one more time.. (extends hand) Gimme paw?
Pinkie: ... (extends her hoof onto his hand)
Trevor: Good.. Now... Other paw.
Pinkie: ... (extends 'same' hoof).
Trevor: (annoyedly) No, 'other' paw!
Pinkie: ... (again extends the same hoof)
Trevor: (getting angry) For god sakes, we practiced this! Your gonna make me look bad in front of the others!
Trevor: other paw..
Pinkie: ... (finally extends the right hoof)
Pinkie: (annoyingly) You know this reminds of the time wh-
Trevor: (deeply annoyed) Shut up!
Pinkie/Pinkamena: Coarse it is. You been my owner all this time, and haven't even seen my show.
Trevor: Fine., but if this turns me into a bitch, your never hear the end of i-.
Voice: You are now watching my little pony.
Trevor: (hyponotized) I m now watching my little pony.
voice: My little pony is the greatest show you ever seen. Except maybe family guy.
Trevor: (still brainwashed) My little pony is the greatest show I ever seen. Except maybe Family guy.
Voice: You will recommend my little pony and family guy to everybody you know.
Trevor: (still brainwashed) I will recommend my little pony and family guy to everyone I know.
Voice: You will never stop talking about my little pony, or family guy.
Trevor: (still brainwashed) I will never stop talking about my little pony, or family guy.
(present time.. Witch is directly after the mission THREE'S COMPANY).
Trevor: Michael. Look at us, eh?.. New town. New set of problems. But the idiots. They stay the same.
Michael: Don't worry. Things will slow down soon.
Trevor: You know what's NOT slowing down? My little pony. Greatest show I seen sense family guy.
Michael: (annoyed) God, you never shut up about those fuckin shows!
Trevor: Perfect! It's a gang bang.. I even brought my own weapon (takes out his AK47, witch he gave several upgrades to.. Including a scoop, a handle, and orange camo tape).
Franklyn: I already told you I'm tire-
Trevor: (begins playing party party party by Andrew W.K. At high volume from inside Lamar's van).
Trevor: I want of the other side.
Dealer: No at ma-
Trevor: (sudden anger) Oh yeah, well, FUCK YOU! I didn't want it anyway.. (flips his middle finger at the dealers face).. I'll rather stay at home, then be with your motherfuckin fagot for the rest of the day.. Good day bitch.. (storms out, still pointing middle finger).
Trevor: (calmly returns soon after) Dude, I totally didn't mean that.
Trevor: I'm sorry we had that fight jut then. You know, I mean. You said some things. I said something's.. But let's just put it behind us, and try to be friends again.
Dealer: ... I'm still not giving you it.
Trevor: (angrily flips him off again) WELL FUCK YOU ASSHOLE! (tries grabbing it, revealing it to only be drywall with a key inside).
Trevor: Yo! That's a "close call with brick wall"!
Dealer: Isn't that an album for Andrew W.K.
Trevor: Sure is.. I like to "party hard" bitch!
Trevor: I "get wet" and like to "party hard"!.. "we want fun" asshole!
Dealer: Are you just naming songs!?
Trevor: GET READY TO DIE!
Dealer: Yo! We got some motherfuckin buyers remorse over here! (slams door closed)
Trevor: YO, YOU CAN'T FUCKIN HUSTLE A HUSTLER!
Michaal: Look.. Brad got shot.. You saw it.. He didn't make it.. I got shot, and did.. That's it!
Trevor: (still angry
Michael: Hold on.. You really angry, or just making yourself seem louder?
Trevor: I'M REALLY ANGRY!
The voice from Spongebob: Blistering Fury!
Trevor: You were lying to me Mikey!..
Pinkie: (holding Scootaloo cutely) Boss, this my little friend Scootaloo.. Rainbow Dash and I like to call her Scooty... I been asked to watch her for a bit.
Trevor: I see.
Pinkie: ... Wanna hold her?
Trevor: Sure, thanks.. (holds Scootaloo).
Pinkie: (looks at her watch for 2 seconds before looking back up) Okay, and now we- OH MY GOD!
Trevor: (accidentally killed Scootaloo within the 2 seconds Pinkie looked away) I'm sorry., I was just petting her, honest..
Trevor: (throws him in the trunk) Make yourself comfortable, slick!.. (gets in the drivers seat).
Devin; You won't get away with thi-
Trevor: (blasting death metal) Sorrry! Can't hear you!
Tevor: In your dreams!
Michael: That's what I say to Jimmy when he claims Tracy strangled her other sister.. It was just a dream... I really regretted dropping him as a baby..
Trevor: my dad dropped ME as a baby and i turned out... something... (looks around) Where the hell am I?
BEST OF PACKIE:
Michael: (approaches worker) You! Fill this bag with clean, unmarked diamonds!.. But first!.. But first fix that notepad so it's at a right angle with the corner of your desk!..
Packie: And tap that pile of receipts against a flat surface so they're not sticking out haphazardly!
Packie: Look, you want me to tell the story or not?
Franklyn: (angrily) No Packie, I don't!.. I already heard about it on the paper!.. It's just you won't fuckin leave!
Packie: ... Anyway, where was I?
Franklyn; (annoyedly) Ahhhh!
Packie: Hands up people! I got your names! You will not laugh! You will not cry! You will learn and you best unfuck yourselves, or I will unscrew your heads, and shit down your necks!
Derrek: Don't none of you worry about nothing, we're here for the banks money, it's going to a better caus-
Packie: Shut up! And handle the safe!
Packie: (off view to hostage) ARE ANY OF YOUR PARENTS STILL ALIVE!?
Packie: Why are you telling them were brothers you idiot! That's gonna make hard for them to find us isn't!
Derrek: I'm trying to be honest with these people, we put them though a lot today..
Packie: Well ... no shit. What have we got here, a fucking comedian? Private Joker? I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and fuck my sister. You little scumbag!
Derrek: She's my sister too Packie!
Packie: Are you a peter-puffer?
Derrek: (confused) What!?
Packie: I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-around! I'll be watching you!
Derrek: You really need to stop watching Full Medal Jacket so much!
Packie: (pointing his gun at Luis) What's your excuse, boy-o?
Luis: Excuse for what!?
Packie: For not following my fuckin instructions!.. We said no fucking with us!.. Why was that so hard to understand!?
Luis: What are you talking about, mister!?
Packie: I saw you talking to that piece of shit who shot my boy Michael!.. It was your idea wasn't it!
Luis: Coarse no-
Packie: No huh!? He just came up with it himself huh!?.. The fairy fucking godmother said it!., Out-fucking-standing!
I will P.T. you until you fucking die! I'll P.T. you until your asshole is sucking buttermilk.. Now. I ask again.. Was it your fuckin idea, you scroungy little fuck, huh?!
Packie: (angrily) You little piece of shit! You look like a fucking worm! I'll bet it WAS you!
Luis: (cowers in fear)
Packie: You look nervous.. Am I making you nervous!?
Packie: Good!.. Maybe that'll teach ya not to fuck with me!... Your lucky I'm not making you pay for Michael's funeral!
Packie and Derrick dramatically burst out of the bank, firing at the cops.
The scream moments from KORN - GET THIS PARTY STARTED fill the background).
Packie: (annoyed) Niko! Turn off the music! I can't concentrate!
Michael: Yeah! Everybody down! Anybody moves and Packie here will blast them!... Now. Who here is the manager?
Manager: (raises up) I am-
Packie: (shoots the manager dead)
Michael: WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?
Packie: You sai-
Michael: Yes! But he was the only one with combination to the safe! Now the whole thing is blown!
Packie: Relax Mikey., I got this.. (opens the safe by using a blow torch, opening it the old fashioned way).
Rainbow Dash: (in back seat) Why am I here?
Packie: Because you seem tough. With Pinkie... Gone... I figured I'll try again with another one of you.
Rainbow Dash: (yawns).
(Packie's tractor says there getting closer).
Packie: (cocks his pistol).. Whoa!.. You feel that, little pony!? Huh!? That tingling in your balls? Big metal butterflies fluttering around your stomach!
Rainbow Dash: ... Are you sure you don't have testicular cancer?
Packie: Your not feeling it... I got something to get you going..
(loudly plays the chorus of LINKIN PARK - NEW DEVIDE on the car speakers).
Packie: WHOA!... (shaking his his pistol back and forth as to dance to the song). Let's go do some damage!
Rainbow Dash: Sure. But... Don't you have anything better than Linkin Park?
Packie: (dramatically slams on the brake pedal. Causing the car to make the loud screech sound).
Packie: *enraged* BETTER THAN LINKIN PARK!?
Rainbow Dash: I'm sorry. But their just not very go-
Packie: That's cause your so literary stuck in the clouds, you have no idea what REAL music is!
Rainbow Dash: I'm sorry I-
Packie: JUST GET OUT!!
Rainbow Dash: (out of fear, she gets out and flies away).
Packie: Yo? What you guys do after the screen goes black?
BEST OF CRAZY PINKIE (trevor's assistent):
lazlo: Please don't kill me., (holds up Pinkie Pie) I'll give you my pet pony.
Michael: It'll take more than tha-
Trevor: I LOVE IT! (Grabs her and despite being a mentally insane mass murderer, he hugs her like a big teddy bear)
Trevor: (walking Pinkie like a dog).
Mixhael: Your not seriously gonna keep that thing are you!?
Trever: What's the worst I could do to this little pony.
(A few days pass and it's revealed the events of SMILE HD, Is because of Trevor's influence on young Pinkie.
Trevor: Is this really nesseary?
Pinkie: Yes., how are you to be my boss if you haven't even seen the real show.
Trevor: Fine, but if this turns me into a wussy it's your faul- (brain washing sounds)
TV: you are now watching my little pony
Trevor: (brainwashed) I am now watching my little pony
Mailman: Please don't kill me!
Trevor: Fine.. I won't kill you
Mailman: Thank go-
Trevor: Pinkie will
Pinkie: (leaps on him and violent beat up sounds fill the air along with splashes of blood).
Trevor: (calmly) remember to go for the heart
Pinkie: Yes boss. (Ripping sounds).
Trevor: Good girl.
The truck with rifle exploded in a huge blast.
Pinkie: Ohhh.. Pretty, colors.
Michael: Hold on.. How the fuck are we gonna get outta here now.. I can't even remember where I parked..
Pinkie: Not a problem.. Can I borrow you pistol.
Man: (sitting in his car reading paper).
Pinkie: (appears outside the car, out of nowhere and holding Michael's pistol)
Pinkie: (violently) GET OUT OF THE FUCKIN CAR! (The man screams in horror). GET OUT OF THE FUCKIN CAR WAIT NOW!
Pinkie: (violently smashes the car window with the gun) GET OUUUT!
Michael: (Nervously pulls out the driver and he and Pinkie drive off).
Michael: Did we just jack somebody!?
Pinkie: (cutely) We sure did Mikey.. We suuuure did.
Franklyn: You know.. This is the first time you and I have spent any real time together.
Pinkie: I know. It's weird right?
Franklyn: Yeah.. We should hang out more ofte-
Pinkie: No. I mean, this wait now, is weird..
Trevor: Don't try to stop me Michael!.. Pinkie will dig up the grave.
Trevor: Because!.. It's time to discover the truth.
Michael: No. I mean, why'd you drag Pinkie into this.
Pinkie: I was bored.