Song (Start at 4:16): link
Liz: *Playing guitar*
Liam: *Playing drums*
Master Sword: Come on over everyone! We got some great music for you.
Skywalker: Did you forget that we have a show to run?
Master Sword: You're the host you know.
Skywalker: Oh, that's right. Hi folks. Skywalker from Bartholomew here, and welcome to the S.S.S.S. This is our last show of the month. We'll be taking the 31st, and April 7th off to celebrate April Fools, and the beginning of April itself.
Wilson: Does anyone even celebrate April Fools anymore?
Skywalker: Not that I know of. Anyway, here's tonight's schedule.
8 PM - Now
Ponies On The Rails - Back 2 Back
8:30 PM - Later
Bartholomew - Back 2 Back
Skywalker: You'll be seeing more of me later, but first, time for some action in Wyoming.
Theme song >>>> link
Seanthehedgehog presents
Ponies On The Rails
Starring
Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Red Rose From CrazyWriterLady
Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Metal Gloss From DragonAura15
Stylo From Jimmythedragon
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Wilson, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Episode 35
The Sherman On Sherman Hill
February 1, 1954
Although it was 34 degrees farenheit, the sun was shining in Cheyenne, and the sky was clear from clouds.
Hawkeye: *Playing poker with Stylo* Alright, I'll put in three dollars.
Stylo: *Puts in three dollars* What do you have?
Hawkeye: Three kings, and two sixes. That gives me a full house.
Stylo: Great, all I had was a three of a kind.
Hawkeye: Aw, gee. That's too bad. Maybe you'll win next time, oh wait. We can't play another round, because our train will be here soon.
Stylo: We have another twenty minutes. Why do you want to stop so soon?
Hawkeye: That's none of your business.
Stylo: Why is it none of my business?
Hawkeye: That's also none of your business.
Stylo: And why is that none of my business?
Hawkeye: Even that's none of your business.
On sherman hill, some track needed to be repaired. Percy, and Jeff were there to repair the tracks.
Percy: *Putting in new nails* How's the other side doing?
Jeff: Good. When we get further up, we'll have to put in some new sleepers.
Percy: What about the ballast?
Jeff: We can put in new ballast once the sleepers get installed.
Mafia Pony: *Shoots gun at Percy*
Percy: *Lays on ground*
Jeff: *sees mafia*
Mafia Ponies: *Shooting at Jeff*
Jeff: *Taking cover behind inspection car*
Mafia Pony: *Shoots new nail*
Percy: That fucking nail was brand new! Now we have to replace it again!
Jeff: Again?
Percy: You know what I meant.
Jeff: Should we take a chance, try to get in, and drive away?
Percy: I will if you want to.
Jeff: Alright. On the count of three. One-
Percy: *Gets in inspection car, and drives away*
Jeff: three. *Runs after car*
Percy: Come on, get in!
Jeff: *Jumps in*
Percy: *drives back to station*
The mafia ponies went to the track, and started damaging it. They were waiting for a train to pass by, so that it would be derailed, and they could steal anything they wanted.
Back at the train station, Pete was waiting to go to a meeting.
Pete: *Checking clock*
Percy: *stops inspection car on platform* Pete, we have something important to tell you!
Pete: Alright, but get that car out of the way. A train could be coming here soon.
Percy: *Moving inspection car out of way*
Pete: *Goes to bench, and sits on it*
Percy & Jeff: *Walk onto station platform*
Pete: What is it?
Percy: We were fixing track on Sherman Hill, like you told us to do, but some ponies in the mafia came, and attacked us.
Pete: That can't be good. We need to fix that track right away. If we don't get it fixed, we can't get any trains to go up the hill.
Jeff: We're aware of that Pete. Now, how do we stop those gangsters?
Pete: You mean the mafia?
Jeff: Same thing.
Pete: I know a good friend that can help us. I'll go call him right now. *Goes to office*
Stylo: Jeff, do you have any money that I can borrow?
Jeff: Why do you want to borrow money?
Stylo: Pierce keeps winning it from me in poker.
Jeff: Can't you quit?
Stylo: No. I need that money back now.
Jeff: I can't help you.
Stylo: Aw, please?
Jeff: Nope.
Meanwhile in Pete's office
Pete: Hello, Michael?
Michael: Pete? What's up?
Pete: I have to cancel our meeting. The mafia is attacking us, and we need to fix some track.
Michael: Okay. What time do you want to postpone the meeting to?
Pete: Next friday sounds good.
Michael: Okay. Good luck with those gangsters.
Pete: Mafia.
Michael: Same thing. *Hangs up*
Pete: Now, to make another call. *Dialing number*
Magnum: *Answers phone* Hello.
Pete: Magnum, it's me Pete Reimer.
Magnum: Peter! How are you my friend?
Pete: Not too bad, but I have a problem. The mafia is attacking us, and they won't let us fix this section of track on Sherman Hill. We need help.
Magnum: Why not call the police?
Pete: They keep getting killed. We need something better then Cheyenne's Finest.
Magnum: How about a tank?
Pete: A tank?! You're crazy.
Magnum: Relax. There's going to be no ammo for the guns. Just drive up to them, scare them, and they won't bother you at all.
Pete: What kind of tank did you have in mind?
Magnum: A Sherman. I was just fixing this tank that got back from Korea last year. You can have it in thirty minutes.
Pete: Sure. Thanks. *Hangs up*
Hawkeye: *arrives* Percy told me you were having trouble with the mafia.
Pete: Relax, I got the problem to get rid of those scumbags.
Hawkeye: Did you call the cops?
Pete: No. Even better.
Hawkeye: The police?!
Pete: No. A friend of mine is going to bring in a Sherman tank.
Hawkeye: You have really gone crazy.
Pete: Nope. It wasn't my idea.
Hawkeye: You're still crazy.
Pete: Bullshit. Now get out of here, I'm going to make an announcement.
Hawkeye: *Leaves office*
Pete: *On speaker* Attention everypony. A tank will be here in thirty minutes. Under no circumstances are you to touch it. I will use it to scare away the mafia, and then it goes back to it's rightful owner. Do not go near the tank at all!
Everypony understood, but Gordon and Coffee Creme were not around to hear the message. They would arrive at the station from Kimball Nebraska.
Gordon, and Coffee Creme arrived at Cheyenne with a freight train. They saw the Sherman, but didn't know why it was there.
Gordon: *Thinks of a plan* It's here. Finally.
Coffee Creme: What is?
Gordon: My tank. I ordered it from a shipping company, and they delivered it to me at last.
Coffee Creme: You must be very rich if you can afford a tank.
Gordon: Right. *Stops train near entrance of train yard* We just have to back this up, and get the train into the yard.
Red Rose: *Switches track*
Gordon: *driving backwards into yard*
Coffee Creme: Stop so that the-
Gordon: Caboose is near the switch track. I know. *Stops*
Wilson: *Drives engine to caboose*
Gordon: Wait here, I'll be back. *teleports to end of train*
Wilson: How was your trip?
Gordon: Good. *Uncouples caboose* You can take this to the other cabooses, and then use the engines on my train to push the cars down the hump.
Wilson: But they aren't switch engines.
Gordon: Does it matter? Get the job done! *teleports back to Coffee Creme*
Coffee Creme: Welcome back.
Gordon: Yeah. Now, we go to the tank, and I'll show you how great I am at driving it. *Teleports himself, and Coffee Creme to the tank*
No one was around when they arrived.
Gordon: *gets in tank*
Coffee Creme: *Waiting outside of tank*
Gordon: *Starts tank*
Pete: *Hears tank* Oh shit. *Runs towards tank*
Gordon: *Starts driving the tank* Weeee!! This is fun.
Coffee Creme: He really can drive a tank.
Pete: *arrives* Who's driving that thing?!
Coffee Creme: Gordon.
Pete: I should have known.
Gordon: *turns tank around* Pete's there to see me... Whoaeihotsuesuahgt, PETE?!!
Pete: Gordon, stop!
Gordon: *Tries to stop tank* I don't know how to stop this thing!! *Drives past Coffee Creme, and Pete*
Coffee Creme: At least he didn't kill us.
Gordon: *Driving tank towards Sherman Hill* What do I do? *Opens hatch* HELP! I'm on a runaway tank!!
Snowflake: Jesus christ.
Orion: And I thought I've done stupid things.
Gordon: *Driving away*
Pete: We need to stop him. Pierce, get a Bigboy right now!
Hawkeye: I'm on it. *Runs to servicing facility*
Jeff: *Maintaining engines*
Hawkeye: Pete wants me to use a Big Boy. Do we have any?
Jeff: Number 4012 is available.
Hawkeye: Good, I'll use that one. *gets into engine*
Jeff: *gets in engine* Might I ask why you need this?
Hawkeye: To save the day. *Drives engine*
Gordon: *Going up hill*
Mafia Ponies: *Taking spikes out of train tracks*
Gordon: *Sees mafia* Oh no you don't. *Aims turret, and pulls trigger* What? No ammo! What kind of a dumbass would own a tank, and not put in any ammo?!
Mafia Ponies: Let's get outta here! *Running away*
Gordon: Good. Now they know not to fuck with us. *drives back to station, but is destroying the track*
Hawkeye: *Driving towards Gordon* I see his tank.
Gordon: *Drives out of way*
Hawkeye: *Stopping engine*
Jeff: Will we stop in time?
Hawkeye: I hope so.
They stopped just before the pilot wheels became derailed.
Gordon: *Driving back to station*
Percy: He's coming back.
Pete: Oh no.
Gordon: This is it. I'll be stuck in here forever.
But suddenly, the tank stopped.
Pete: What?
Gordon: *Comes out of tank* Hey everypony. I saved the day.
Ponies: *Booing, and throwing garbage at Gordon*
Pete: You used up all the gas on this thing!
Gordon: Oh well. *Walks away from everypony* I tried my best.
The End
On The Next Episode Of Ponies On The Rails
We get to see some mail trains in action
---
Theme song >>>> link
Seanthehedgehog presents
Ponies On The Rails
Starring
Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Red Rose From CrazyWriterLady
Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Metal Gloss From DragonAura15
Stylo From Jimmythedragon
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Wilson, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Episode 36
Mail Pony
February 4, 1954
Pete: *Checks clock* It's almost seven.
Gordon: That means we can go home soon.
Pete: Yeah, I think everypony knows that.
Gordon: *Waiting for clock to strike seven with excitement*
Metal Gloss: *Drives passenger train to station*
Gordon: Ugh, Metal Gloss is always driving a steam engine. Why can't she drive a diesel for once?
Metal Gloss: *stops train*
Pete: Metal Gloss, you arrived just in time. It's 7:00 PM, time to go home.
Gordon: *Leaves station as fast as a rocket*
Pete: Wow.
Metal Gloss: See you tomorrow Pete.
Pete: Actually Metal Gloss, you, Hawkeye, and Stylo have to stay here.
Metal Gloss: Why?
Pete: The mail trains need to be taken care of.
Music: link
On some nights, The Union Pacific has mail trains running from Cheyenne. One goes to Denver, and the other goes to North Platte Nebraska.
The train going for Denver is driven by Hawkeye, and Metal Gloss. The one for North Platte is driven by Stylo.
Stylo's train only needs one pony, because it's pulled by two diesels. Two diesels are needed, because the train is too heavy for only one.
On the mail train heading for Denver
Hawkeye: *Driving train*
Metal Gloss: *Shoveling coal*
Hawkeye: That's enough. You'll make this engine explode if you put too much in.
Metal Gloss: Just doing my job.
Hawkeye: Maybe you're doing it too good.
Metal Gloss: I see a red signal.
Hawkeye: Right. *Applies brakes*
Porters: *Waiting on platform*
Hawkeye: *Stops train at station*
Porters: *Opens car doors, and begin unloading mail*
Hawkeye: I love driving these mail trains. Don't you?
Metal Gloss: Yeah. It's pretty fun.
But for Stylo, it was nowhere near fun. He had to wait at North Platte for another train to bring the mail from St. Foalis.
Engineer: *stops train at station* Sorry I'm late. The boat delivering the mail to my train was delayed, and it made me late.
Porters: That's alright, let's load the mail onto the train quickly. *Loading mail onto train*
Stylo: Finally, they're loading my train. I had to wait for six hours!
Porter 5: Stylo, come help us.
Stylo: Why me? Who's going to drive the train when all the mail gets loaded?
Porter 5: Good point. My mistake. *Goes back to mail*
By the time Stylo brought the mail into Cheyenne it was 7 in the morning. The work day had already begun.
Stylo: *Climbs out of locomotive, and is very tired*
Percy: Good morning Stylo. You're up early.
Stylo: No, you're wrong. I stayed up late, because of a foul up in St. Foalis.
Pete: *Arrives* What happened?
Stylo: Didn't they tell you? My train was delayed for six hours.
Pete: How did it happen?
Stylo: The boat bringing the mail to St. Foalis was delayed, and it made the train bringing the mail to me late.
Pete: Alright, take the day off, and get some rest. You can come back tomorrow.
Stylo: Thank you. *Leaves station, and goes to parking lot*
Stylo was trying to find his car so that he could leave, but he saw somepony with a helicopter coming towards the station.
Stylo: Wait a minute. What?
Pilot: *Lands by train tracks*
Railroad Police: What are you doing here?
Pilot: Mail run. We're here to take all your mail, and get it to Denver.
Stylo: *Arrives* What's going on?
Railroad Police: Stylo, thank goodness it's you. This pony thinks he can fly in here with a helicopter, and steal our mail.
Stylo: What thinks you can do that?
Pilot: Because I was told to. Nowadays, you need a vehicle that can fly, and is very reliable, like a helicopter, or an airplane, or something that's not a train.
Stylo: I can't believe this shit. *Leaving*
Pete: *Arrives* What in the mother of fuck is happening?
Stylo: See for yourself.
Pete: *Walks up to pilot* What are you doing?
Pilot: Taking your mail.
Pete: For what reason?
Pilot: Because I was told to by the mail company at Denver. After what happened with the delay from North Platte, the mail company wants the mail to be delivered by helicopter.
Pete: Yeah, like that would work out.
Pilot: It actually does. Now hurry up, and get my mail.
So the mail train was brought closer to the helicopter.
Workers: *Loading mail onto helicopter*
Pilot: And now, I am going to finish the job you could never finish. *Flies away*
Railroad Police: It's just like what Stylo said. I can't believe this is happening.
Pete: You should have arrested him.
Railroad Police: For what reason? He wasn't breaking the law. Or maybe he was, *Checks book of railroad safety laws* Yeah, he broke the law.
Pilot: *Continues flying to Denver*
Jeff: *Sees helicopter* What in the wide world of Equestria would a helicopter be doing here?
Pilot: *Accidentally drops some mail*
Jeff: *Sees falling mail* Hm, that's strange. *Takes mail* Why would that helicopter be taking the mail that we were going to take to Denver? I better show this to Pete.
Jeff showed Pete the lost letters.
Pete: So you saw this fall out of the helicopter when it was heading to Denver?
Jeff: Yeah.
Pete: Wait a minute. If you're here, who's doing your work on that track?
Jeff: Umm....
Meanwhile on the track that Jeff forgot to fix.
Engineer: *Drives train off tracks*
Back at Cheyenne
Jeff: Percy.
Pete: Ah, good. I knew I could rely on that pegasus.
Jeff: Right. Well, I have to get back to work. *Leaves*
Next day, at 7:30 PM, it was time for the mail trains to take off again.
Hawkeye: You know what would be great?
Metal Gloss: What?
Hawkeye: If somepony was filming us in the train.
Metal Gloss: Yeah, that would be cool.
Stylo: *Arrives*
Hawkeye: Stylo, we got a problem. Pete says that the mail ponies aren't happy with you being late.
Stylo: But that wasn't even my fault!
Hawkeye: I know, and so does Pete, but the mail ponies won't listen.
Pilot: *Lands helicopter* Hey, remember me? I was here yesterday morning, but I'm not here to steal your mail, I have something to tell you. The mail could be delivered by helicopter soon you know. Perhaps you should quit your jobs, and join me. We could fly helicopters together, they work wonders you know.
Hawkeye: Fuck you.
Pilot: *Takes off*
Stylo: So now what?
Hawkeye: Now, we drive as fast as possible. Don't stop unless there's a red signal, or if your engine is low on fuel.
Stylo: Got it.
The mail trains ran like clock work, but Stylo had to stop at a station.
Stylo: What's the matter?
Station Master: There's a pony that needs a ride to North Platte. Please get him there.
Stylo: Sure.
Random Pony: *Climbs in* Thank you very much.
Stylo: Not a problem. *Drives train*
Next morning, Stylo was taking a freight to Denver, but had to stop at a red signal. An airfield was nearby, and the pilot was standing near the fence.
Stylo: Hello.
Pilot: Hi.
Stylo: What's the matter with you? Why aren't your flying your "wonderful" helicopter?
Pilot: The wind is too strong. I've been grounded.
Stylo: I'll tell you what, you should quit your job as a pilot, and we could drive trains together. They work wonders you know.
Signal Pony: *Turns signal green*
Stylo: Good bye. *Drives away*
When Stylo returned to Cheyenne, there was good news.
Pete: I got a newspaper from North Platte, and there's an article from the pony that you got to North Platte.
Stylo: What does it say?
Pete: It says that we've given a very comfortable ride to this stallion, and the mail trains are the pride of our line.
Stylo: Yes!
The End
On the next episode of Ponies On The Rails
Hawkeye makes some new friends.
Liz: *Playing guitar*
Liam: *Playing drums*
Master Sword: Come on over everyone! We got some great music for you.
Skywalker: Did you forget that we have a show to run?
Master Sword: You're the host you know.
Skywalker: Oh, that's right. Hi folks. Skywalker from Bartholomew here, and welcome to the S.S.S.S. This is our last show of the month. We'll be taking the 31st, and April 7th off to celebrate April Fools, and the beginning of April itself.
Wilson: Does anyone even celebrate April Fools anymore?
Skywalker: Not that I know of. Anyway, here's tonight's schedule.
8 PM - Now
Ponies On The Rails - Back 2 Back
8:30 PM - Later
Bartholomew - Back 2 Back
Skywalker: You'll be seeing more of me later, but first, time for some action in Wyoming.
Theme song >>>> link
Seanthehedgehog presents
Ponies On The Rails
Starring
Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Red Rose From CrazyWriterLady
Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Metal Gloss From DragonAura15
Stylo From Jimmythedragon
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Wilson, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Episode 35
The Sherman On Sherman Hill
February 1, 1954
Although it was 34 degrees farenheit, the sun was shining in Cheyenne, and the sky was clear from clouds.
Hawkeye: *Playing poker with Stylo* Alright, I'll put in three dollars.
Stylo: *Puts in three dollars* What do you have?
Hawkeye: Three kings, and two sixes. That gives me a full house.
Stylo: Great, all I had was a three of a kind.
Hawkeye: Aw, gee. That's too bad. Maybe you'll win next time, oh wait. We can't play another round, because our train will be here soon.
Stylo: We have another twenty minutes. Why do you want to stop so soon?
Hawkeye: That's none of your business.
Stylo: Why is it none of my business?
Hawkeye: That's also none of your business.
Stylo: And why is that none of my business?
Hawkeye: Even that's none of your business.
On sherman hill, some track needed to be repaired. Percy, and Jeff were there to repair the tracks.
Percy: *Putting in new nails* How's the other side doing?
Jeff: Good. When we get further up, we'll have to put in some new sleepers.
Percy: What about the ballast?
Jeff: We can put in new ballast once the sleepers get installed.
Mafia Pony: *Shoots gun at Percy*
Percy: *Lays on ground*
Jeff: *sees mafia*
Mafia Ponies: *Shooting at Jeff*
Jeff: *Taking cover behind inspection car*
Mafia Pony: *Shoots new nail*
Percy: That fucking nail was brand new! Now we have to replace it again!
Jeff: Again?
Percy: You know what I meant.
Jeff: Should we take a chance, try to get in, and drive away?
Percy: I will if you want to.
Jeff: Alright. On the count of three. One-
Percy: *Gets in inspection car, and drives away*
Jeff: three. *Runs after car*
Percy: Come on, get in!
Jeff: *Jumps in*
Percy: *drives back to station*
The mafia ponies went to the track, and started damaging it. They were waiting for a train to pass by, so that it would be derailed, and they could steal anything they wanted.
Back at the train station, Pete was waiting to go to a meeting.
Pete: *Checking clock*
Percy: *stops inspection car on platform* Pete, we have something important to tell you!
Pete: Alright, but get that car out of the way. A train could be coming here soon.
Percy: *Moving inspection car out of way*
Pete: *Goes to bench, and sits on it*
Percy & Jeff: *Walk onto station platform*
Pete: What is it?
Percy: We were fixing track on Sherman Hill, like you told us to do, but some ponies in the mafia came, and attacked us.
Pete: That can't be good. We need to fix that track right away. If we don't get it fixed, we can't get any trains to go up the hill.
Jeff: We're aware of that Pete. Now, how do we stop those gangsters?
Pete: You mean the mafia?
Jeff: Same thing.
Pete: I know a good friend that can help us. I'll go call him right now. *Goes to office*
Stylo: Jeff, do you have any money that I can borrow?
Jeff: Why do you want to borrow money?
Stylo: Pierce keeps winning it from me in poker.
Jeff: Can't you quit?
Stylo: No. I need that money back now.
Jeff: I can't help you.
Stylo: Aw, please?
Jeff: Nope.
Meanwhile in Pete's office
Pete: Hello, Michael?
Michael: Pete? What's up?
Pete: I have to cancel our meeting. The mafia is attacking us, and we need to fix some track.
Michael: Okay. What time do you want to postpone the meeting to?
Pete: Next friday sounds good.
Michael: Okay. Good luck with those gangsters.
Pete: Mafia.
Michael: Same thing. *Hangs up*
Pete: Now, to make another call. *Dialing number*
Magnum: *Answers phone* Hello.
Pete: Magnum, it's me Pete Reimer.
Magnum: Peter! How are you my friend?
Pete: Not too bad, but I have a problem. The mafia is attacking us, and they won't let us fix this section of track on Sherman Hill. We need help.
Magnum: Why not call the police?
Pete: They keep getting killed. We need something better then Cheyenne's Finest.
Magnum: How about a tank?
Pete: A tank?! You're crazy.
Magnum: Relax. There's going to be no ammo for the guns. Just drive up to them, scare them, and they won't bother you at all.
Pete: What kind of tank did you have in mind?
Magnum: A Sherman. I was just fixing this tank that got back from Korea last year. You can have it in thirty minutes.
Pete: Sure. Thanks. *Hangs up*
Hawkeye: *arrives* Percy told me you were having trouble with the mafia.
Pete: Relax, I got the problem to get rid of those scumbags.
Hawkeye: Did you call the cops?
Pete: No. Even better.
Hawkeye: The police?!
Pete: No. A friend of mine is going to bring in a Sherman tank.
Hawkeye: You have really gone crazy.
Pete: Nope. It wasn't my idea.
Hawkeye: You're still crazy.
Pete: Bullshit. Now get out of here, I'm going to make an announcement.
Hawkeye: *Leaves office*
Pete: *On speaker* Attention everypony. A tank will be here in thirty minutes. Under no circumstances are you to touch it. I will use it to scare away the mafia, and then it goes back to it's rightful owner. Do not go near the tank at all!
Everypony understood, but Gordon and Coffee Creme were not around to hear the message. They would arrive at the station from Kimball Nebraska.
Gordon, and Coffee Creme arrived at Cheyenne with a freight train. They saw the Sherman, but didn't know why it was there.
Gordon: *Thinks of a plan* It's here. Finally.
Coffee Creme: What is?
Gordon: My tank. I ordered it from a shipping company, and they delivered it to me at last.
Coffee Creme: You must be very rich if you can afford a tank.
Gordon: Right. *Stops train near entrance of train yard* We just have to back this up, and get the train into the yard.
Red Rose: *Switches track*
Gordon: *driving backwards into yard*
Coffee Creme: Stop so that the-
Gordon: Caboose is near the switch track. I know. *Stops*
Wilson: *Drives engine to caboose*
Gordon: Wait here, I'll be back. *teleports to end of train*
Wilson: How was your trip?
Gordon: Good. *Uncouples caboose* You can take this to the other cabooses, and then use the engines on my train to push the cars down the hump.
Wilson: But they aren't switch engines.
Gordon: Does it matter? Get the job done! *teleports back to Coffee Creme*
Coffee Creme: Welcome back.
Gordon: Yeah. Now, we go to the tank, and I'll show you how great I am at driving it. *Teleports himself, and Coffee Creme to the tank*
No one was around when they arrived.
Gordon: *gets in tank*
Coffee Creme: *Waiting outside of tank*
Gordon: *Starts tank*
Pete: *Hears tank* Oh shit. *Runs towards tank*
Gordon: *Starts driving the tank* Weeee!! This is fun.
Coffee Creme: He really can drive a tank.
Pete: *arrives* Who's driving that thing?!
Coffee Creme: Gordon.
Pete: I should have known.
Gordon: *turns tank around* Pete's there to see me... Whoaeihotsuesuahgt, PETE?!!
Pete: Gordon, stop!
Gordon: *Tries to stop tank* I don't know how to stop this thing!! *Drives past Coffee Creme, and Pete*
Coffee Creme: At least he didn't kill us.
Gordon: *Driving tank towards Sherman Hill* What do I do? *Opens hatch* HELP! I'm on a runaway tank!!
Snowflake: Jesus christ.
Orion: And I thought I've done stupid things.
Gordon: *Driving away*
Pete: We need to stop him. Pierce, get a Bigboy right now!
Hawkeye: I'm on it. *Runs to servicing facility*
Jeff: *Maintaining engines*
Hawkeye: Pete wants me to use a Big Boy. Do we have any?
Jeff: Number 4012 is available.
Hawkeye: Good, I'll use that one. *gets into engine*
Jeff: *gets in engine* Might I ask why you need this?
Hawkeye: To save the day. *Drives engine*
Gordon: *Going up hill*
Mafia Ponies: *Taking spikes out of train tracks*
Gordon: *Sees mafia* Oh no you don't. *Aims turret, and pulls trigger* What? No ammo! What kind of a dumbass would own a tank, and not put in any ammo?!
Mafia Ponies: Let's get outta here! *Running away*
Gordon: Good. Now they know not to fuck with us. *drives back to station, but is destroying the track*
Hawkeye: *Driving towards Gordon* I see his tank.
Gordon: *Drives out of way*
Hawkeye: *Stopping engine*
Jeff: Will we stop in time?
Hawkeye: I hope so.
They stopped just before the pilot wheels became derailed.
Gordon: *Driving back to station*
Percy: He's coming back.
Pete: Oh no.
Gordon: This is it. I'll be stuck in here forever.
But suddenly, the tank stopped.
Pete: What?
Gordon: *Comes out of tank* Hey everypony. I saved the day.
Ponies: *Booing, and throwing garbage at Gordon*
Pete: You used up all the gas on this thing!
Gordon: Oh well. *Walks away from everypony* I tried my best.
The End
On The Next Episode Of Ponies On The Rails
We get to see some mail trains in action
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Theme song >>>> link
Seanthehedgehog presents
Ponies On The Rails
Starring
Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Red Rose From CrazyWriterLady
Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Metal Gloss From DragonAura15
Stylo From Jimmythedragon
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Wilson, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Episode 36
Mail Pony
February 4, 1954
Pete: *Checks clock* It's almost seven.
Gordon: That means we can go home soon.
Pete: Yeah, I think everypony knows that.
Gordon: *Waiting for clock to strike seven with excitement*
Metal Gloss: *Drives passenger train to station*
Gordon: Ugh, Metal Gloss is always driving a steam engine. Why can't she drive a diesel for once?
Metal Gloss: *stops train*
Pete: Metal Gloss, you arrived just in time. It's 7:00 PM, time to go home.
Gordon: *Leaves station as fast as a rocket*
Pete: Wow.
Metal Gloss: See you tomorrow Pete.
Pete: Actually Metal Gloss, you, Hawkeye, and Stylo have to stay here.
Metal Gloss: Why?
Pete: The mail trains need to be taken care of.
Music: link
On some nights, The Union Pacific has mail trains running from Cheyenne. One goes to Denver, and the other goes to North Platte Nebraska.
The train going for Denver is driven by Hawkeye, and Metal Gloss. The one for North Platte is driven by Stylo.
Stylo's train only needs one pony, because it's pulled by two diesels. Two diesels are needed, because the train is too heavy for only one.
On the mail train heading for Denver
Hawkeye: *Driving train*
Metal Gloss: *Shoveling coal*
Hawkeye: That's enough. You'll make this engine explode if you put too much in.
Metal Gloss: Just doing my job.
Hawkeye: Maybe you're doing it too good.
Metal Gloss: I see a red signal.
Hawkeye: Right. *Applies brakes*
Porters: *Waiting on platform*
Hawkeye: *Stops train at station*
Porters: *Opens car doors, and begin unloading mail*
Hawkeye: I love driving these mail trains. Don't you?
Metal Gloss: Yeah. It's pretty fun.
But for Stylo, it was nowhere near fun. He had to wait at North Platte for another train to bring the mail from St. Foalis.
Engineer: *stops train at station* Sorry I'm late. The boat delivering the mail to my train was delayed, and it made me late.
Porters: That's alright, let's load the mail onto the train quickly. *Loading mail onto train*
Stylo: Finally, they're loading my train. I had to wait for six hours!
Porter 5: Stylo, come help us.
Stylo: Why me? Who's going to drive the train when all the mail gets loaded?
Porter 5: Good point. My mistake. *Goes back to mail*
By the time Stylo brought the mail into Cheyenne it was 7 in the morning. The work day had already begun.
Stylo: *Climbs out of locomotive, and is very tired*
Percy: Good morning Stylo. You're up early.
Stylo: No, you're wrong. I stayed up late, because of a foul up in St. Foalis.
Pete: *Arrives* What happened?
Stylo: Didn't they tell you? My train was delayed for six hours.
Pete: How did it happen?
Stylo: The boat bringing the mail to St. Foalis was delayed, and it made the train bringing the mail to me late.
Pete: Alright, take the day off, and get some rest. You can come back tomorrow.
Stylo: Thank you. *Leaves station, and goes to parking lot*
Stylo was trying to find his car so that he could leave, but he saw somepony with a helicopter coming towards the station.
Stylo: Wait a minute. What?
Pilot: *Lands by train tracks*
Railroad Police: What are you doing here?
Pilot: Mail run. We're here to take all your mail, and get it to Denver.
Stylo: *Arrives* What's going on?
Railroad Police: Stylo, thank goodness it's you. This pony thinks he can fly in here with a helicopter, and steal our mail.
Stylo: What thinks you can do that?
Pilot: Because I was told to. Nowadays, you need a vehicle that can fly, and is very reliable, like a helicopter, or an airplane, or something that's not a train.
Stylo: I can't believe this shit. *Leaving*
Pete: *Arrives* What in the mother of fuck is happening?
Stylo: See for yourself.
Pete: *Walks up to pilot* What are you doing?
Pilot: Taking your mail.
Pete: For what reason?
Pilot: Because I was told to by the mail company at Denver. After what happened with the delay from North Platte, the mail company wants the mail to be delivered by helicopter.
Pete: Yeah, like that would work out.
Pilot: It actually does. Now hurry up, and get my mail.
So the mail train was brought closer to the helicopter.
Workers: *Loading mail onto helicopter*
Pilot: And now, I am going to finish the job you could never finish. *Flies away*
Railroad Police: It's just like what Stylo said. I can't believe this is happening.
Pete: You should have arrested him.
Railroad Police: For what reason? He wasn't breaking the law. Or maybe he was, *Checks book of railroad safety laws* Yeah, he broke the law.
Pilot: *Continues flying to Denver*
Jeff: *Sees helicopter* What in the wide world of Equestria would a helicopter be doing here?
Pilot: *Accidentally drops some mail*
Jeff: *Sees falling mail* Hm, that's strange. *Takes mail* Why would that helicopter be taking the mail that we were going to take to Denver? I better show this to Pete.
Jeff showed Pete the lost letters.
Pete: So you saw this fall out of the helicopter when it was heading to Denver?
Jeff: Yeah.
Pete: Wait a minute. If you're here, who's doing your work on that track?
Jeff: Umm....
Meanwhile on the track that Jeff forgot to fix.
Engineer: *Drives train off tracks*
Back at Cheyenne
Jeff: Percy.
Pete: Ah, good. I knew I could rely on that pegasus.
Jeff: Right. Well, I have to get back to work. *Leaves*
Next day, at 7:30 PM, it was time for the mail trains to take off again.
Hawkeye: You know what would be great?
Metal Gloss: What?
Hawkeye: If somepony was filming us in the train.
Metal Gloss: Yeah, that would be cool.
Stylo: *Arrives*
Hawkeye: Stylo, we got a problem. Pete says that the mail ponies aren't happy with you being late.
Stylo: But that wasn't even my fault!
Hawkeye: I know, and so does Pete, but the mail ponies won't listen.
Pilot: *Lands helicopter* Hey, remember me? I was here yesterday morning, but I'm not here to steal your mail, I have something to tell you. The mail could be delivered by helicopter soon you know. Perhaps you should quit your jobs, and join me. We could fly helicopters together, they work wonders you know.
Hawkeye: Fuck you.
Pilot: *Takes off*
Stylo: So now what?
Hawkeye: Now, we drive as fast as possible. Don't stop unless there's a red signal, or if your engine is low on fuel.
Stylo: Got it.
The mail trains ran like clock work, but Stylo had to stop at a station.
Stylo: What's the matter?
Station Master: There's a pony that needs a ride to North Platte. Please get him there.
Stylo: Sure.
Random Pony: *Climbs in* Thank you very much.
Stylo: Not a problem. *Drives train*
Next morning, Stylo was taking a freight to Denver, but had to stop at a red signal. An airfield was nearby, and the pilot was standing near the fence.
Stylo: Hello.
Pilot: Hi.
Stylo: What's the matter with you? Why aren't your flying your "wonderful" helicopter?
Pilot: The wind is too strong. I've been grounded.
Stylo: I'll tell you what, you should quit your job as a pilot, and we could drive trains together. They work wonders you know.
Signal Pony: *Turns signal green*
Stylo: Good bye. *Drives away*
When Stylo returned to Cheyenne, there was good news.
Pete: I got a newspaper from North Platte, and there's an article from the pony that you got to North Platte.
Stylo: What does it say?
Pete: It says that we've given a very comfortable ride to this stallion, and the mail trains are the pride of our line.
Stylo: Yes!
The End
On the next episode of Ponies On The Rails
Hawkeye makes some new friends.
