I walked into a rundown store somewhere deep in the wasteland. Gripped in my hands was a freshly stolen Submachine Gun, which I was awarded with after killing Dukov and his "girls". It's what I do. There were loads of radroaches crawling all over the place. So, just for the sport of it, I shot each and every one of them in the face. Guts splattered everywhere, and their bacteria-ridden bodies flew into the air. "Yummy," I took all of their meat and went in search for Nuka-Cola, or maybe some psycho.
I found an easy-locked safe tucked away in a corner. Checking if I had some leftover bobby-pins, I put some lockpicking music on and dove in. "I don't want to set the world on fire," A song came on. "I just want to start a flame in your heart." Humming softly, I turned the pin a little to the left, a little to the right, and then straight up, and successfully opened the lock. Inside it was a baseball bat, 89 caps, and an empty whiskey bottle. I took the caps and a Nuka-Cola bottle on the counter and walked out.
But there was an unpleasant surprise waiting for me outside: 4 rifle-equipped raiders stood outside. "Who do we have here?" A big man taunted, aiming his rifle straight at my head. Right then, I had two choices: Beat these guys' butts and steal all their caps, or scamper back into the rundown shop and cower in a corner. "Eh," I grunted, pulling out a police baton and, like lightning, slamming the rifle out of his hands and uppercutting him in the head. Then I took out my ripper and sliced another guys legs off, and just as fast I whipped out my alien blaster and turned the two other men into dust.
"Assassin swag!" I exclaimed, dropping the alien blaster and posing with self-righteousness. I wiped some of the blood off of my face and walked off to Rivet City, the place where my eternal search ended. My dream was to find Rivet City, no matter how much trouble I would come by on the way. Suddenly, my Pipboy alerted me. "You have discovered: Wilhelm's Wharf," It said. A person popped up on the compass, telling me that there was a presence somewhere. I walked onto an old dock with a barn-like house on it. There was an old lady sitting at a table with an aviator's hat on.
"Hello," She began, "What do you need?" Apparently, her name was Grandma Sparkle and she was a merchant. She offered me food. "Nah," I said, unsheathing a beautiful chinese officer's sword and leaving a gruesome mark on her stomach. She began to run away, down to the water, but before she could get far I shot her 3 times in the chest with my super swaggin' sniper rifle. I walked up to her and checked what she had. 106 caps, a key to her fridge, some squirrel bits, and YumYum Deviled Eggs. "Might as well take everything," I thought to myself, stuffing it all in my pockets. Then, I strolled over to her house, taking note of the locked fridge in the front. Busting the door down, I saw a bed, a fridge, some ammunition boxes, and a cabinet. I grabbed everything out of the fridges and a hunting rifle out of the cabinet.
"Funny how i'm still not over-encumbered from all this junk," I chuckled with a smirk. Suddenly, my Pipboy alerted me: "You are over-encumbered and cannot run!"
I scolded. "Seriously?!" Letting go of some of the random leaf blowers and scrap metal I had, I grabbed the rest of the things and teleported to the Temple Of The Union, where I had a bed to rest at. I was at extremely low health, and broke my right leg a few hours ago. I unlocked the gate and walked to the small bed next to some empty garbage bins and collapsed, instantly falling asleep.
I appeared in a room which resembled a doctor's office. It looked cleaner than most offices scattered around the wasteland. But it reminded me of somewhere that I had been before, somewhere...
Suddenly, the members of the korean pop group SHINee showed up. They started to sing in korean.
"libes dosi DC e issjiman, geu isang gogi ga balo i geonmul bakk-eseo salam i anin jeogdaejeog-in chimlyagja e uihae panmaedoego meogji anhneun han dangsin-i geugeos-eul hal su eobs-eulgeoya," Luckily, I took a course in korean way back before I became a raider in the capital wasteland. What they said was pretty obviously weird: "Rivet city is in DC, but you will never find it unless you eat that strange meat being sold by those non-hostile raiders right outside of this building," There was no way they could've said anything else; it was an extremely careful choice of words. At that point, I could only say one word.
"WHAT?!" I exclaimed. Suddenly, they jumped in the air and disappeared. "Minho was pretty hot right there," I said to myself. Suddenly, I appeared on a makeshift watchtower, a giant boat right beside it. That must be rivet city, I thought.
Suddenly, I woke up. There was a caravan with a few non-hostile raiders just outside the gate. "Wtf," I said, "SHINee was right!" I ran outside and yelled, "HEY! Do you have any strange meat?!" They stared at me, one suddenly grabbing his switchblade in defense. "It's okay man," I assured them. "I'm just looking for your strange meat."
"Omg, Like, totally," The raider replied in a somewhat feminine voice. I chuckled. "Omg, are you, like, LAUGHING, like, at my voice?!" He yanked a knife out from his pocket.
"Absolutely not!" I yanked a knife out from my pocket as well.
"Okay," She- I mean HE put the knife back, offering me a bag of strange meat that resembled a kidney. Or maybe it was a heart... I took it and gave him 10 caps. Walking away, I ate it and suddenly my brain filled with knowledge. I instantly knew exactly where rivet city was. But before I ran off, I quickly shot the caravan raiders in the head with my Submachine gun. Then, I teleported to the citadel, the closest place I knew to rivet city. Running, jumping over boulders, and all the while fighting all the deathclaws and mirelurks and super mutants that came in my way. I checked my map. I was pretty close. But then, a super mutant behemoth with a laser gatling jumped in front of me. "Oh shizznit!" I exclaimed, rapidly pulling out my fat man. I had three mini nukes left. Then, I launched it straight for his head, trying to dodge the over-sized lightning bullets that constantly attacked me. I quickly took three stimpaks and a nuka-cola quantum to replenish my critical health. The mini nuke barely hurt him. So I shot him two more times with the explosives. "Aah!" He exclaimed. I had crippled his head, putting him in extremely low health. As he staggered backward a bit, I quickly shot him with my minigun at least ten times. His giant head flew off, and his body fell with great impact into the ground. I ran up to him, taking his laser gatling and all of the electron charge packs as well. Replenishing my health with a few miscellaneous food items, I ran toward the now in view watch tower which led to the place I had always dreamed of being. My pip-boy alerted me. "You have discovered: Rivet city," I squeaked in excitement, running even faster up the ramp to the top.
At the top was an intercom. "Hello?" I spoke into it. "Please wait while I move the bridge." It answered. Suddenly, a giant bridge swung out and connected to a ledge of the tower.
Finally. I had reached rivet city.