Harry Potter Jokes
Why did Harry potter?
Because he didn’t feel like rushing!
What’s the difference between a wizard and the letters M A K E S?
One makes spells, the other spells makes!
Why was Dobby always saying sorry?
Because he had low elf-esteem!
What did Harry's godfather say when Harry kept poking him?
"That's enough now Harry! I'm Sirius!"
You know who?
It's okay, he's dead! You can say his name now, silly
It's wingardium leviosAAAAAAAAR
How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb?
None — wizards don’t use electricity!
Why did Professor Snape stand in the middle of the road?
So no one could tell what side he was on.
A blind wizard walks into a pub. He says to the barkeep, "Want to hear a Hufflepuff joke?" The pub goes completely silent. The barkeep says, "Sir, I am a Hufflepuff. I'm used to handling a rough crowd alone. I have my wand drawn. The wizard to your left is an auror with his wand drawn. He too is a Hufflepuff. The witch on your right has her wand drawn. She is a dueling champion and also a Hufflepuff. Are you absolutely certain you want to tell that Hufflepuff joke?"
The blind wizard says, "Gods no! Not if I'm going to have to explain it three times!"
What do you get when you cross Crookshanks with McGonagall
Really ugly kittens