Harry Potter Pickup Lines

smoore23 posted on Mar 29, 2008 at 05:56AM
Okay guys, I came across these HP related pickup lines on a Facebook group and they cracked me up. I thought I'd share some of the not-too-dirty ones with you.

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We may not be in Professor Flitwick's class, but you still are charming.

My love for you burns like a dying phoenix.

Being without you is like being under the Cruciatus Curse.

If I was to look into the Mirror of Erised, I would see the two of us together.

What do you say we disapparate out of here.

You know, when I said, "Accio hottie," I didn't expect it to work!

Will you be my horcrux tonight, so l can give a piece of my soul to you?

You must not be a Muggle, because you cast a spell on me.

Are you using the Confundus charm or are you just naturally mind blowing?

I must need Occlumency, because I can't get you out of my thoughts.

I might as well be under the Imperius curse, because I'd do anything for you.

Your smile's like expelliarmus: simple but disarming.

Did you survive Avada Kedavra? 'Cause you're drop dead gorgeous.

I need a pensieve because my head is filled with thoughts about you.

Cho Chang? More like Cha-Ching! Cause I just hit the jackpot.

Would you like a butterbeer? It's a portkey. Next thing you know we'll be back at my place.

I don't need the mirror of Erised to know that you're everything I desire.

Did you use Relashio? 'Cause there's sparks between us.

Did you slip some Firewhiskey into my drink, or are you just getting hotter?

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EDIT:
Ok, here are some more. Some are dirty!

I want to get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets.

You know, Hagrid's not the only giant on campus.

You know, the Sorting Hat placed me in Gryffindor. I think it's because like Godric Gryffindor himself, I too have an impressive sword.

Want to have a Tri-Wizards Tournament? Well not really "Tri-Wizard," I was thinking more one wizard and two witches.

I've been whomping my willow thinking about you.

Do you know the Petrificus Totalus spell? Because you make me stiff.

I'm not an Animagus but sometimes I can be real animal.

You know Platform 9 and 3/4? Well I know something else with the same exact measurements.

A couple nights with me and Moaning Myrtle will have to get a new nickname.

Wanna practice making what looks like a mandrake?

You look like you'd be a good Quidditch player. Want to ride my broomstick?

The thought of you makes something vast and silver erupt from my wand.

They say I'm like the horn of a crumple-horned snorkack. Explosive.

You're like a bottle of Skele-Gro: growing me a bone.

Why don't I make like Salazar and Slyther inside of you?

I can be your house elf. I'll do whatever you want and I don't need any clothes.

Why don't you come tame my dragon?

I don't know a thing about Merlin's pants, but I'd love to get into yours!

You don't have to worry about me, I've been tested for Hogwarts, if you know what I mean.

Engorgio! Oh wait I don't need magic to enlarge this!

Did you say "Wingardium Leviosa"? Cause you've got me rising, baby.

Would you like a butterbeer? It's a portkey. Next thing you know we'll be back at my place.

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Hope you guys enjoyed these.


EDIT: 5 July 2009 - I'm adding a few more just for fun. Enjoy.

Wanna make some magic together? My wand is at the ready.

I must have had some Felix Felicis because I think I'm about to get lucky.

You know, the Sorting Hat placed me in Gryffindor. I think it's because like Godric Gryffindor himself, I too have an impressive sword.

How 'bout you and me go look for the Room of Requirement?

You know Platform 9 and 3/4? Well I know something else with the same exact measurements.

A couple nights with me and Moaning Myrtle will have to get a new nickname.

Wanna practice making what looks like a mandrake?

If I try hard enough, I can get a really big patronus. All I have to do is think of happy things.

Will you be my horcrux tonight, so l can give a piece of my soul to you?

I know you want me to manage your mischief!

You don't need defense against my dark arts.

The thought of you makes something vast and silver erupt from my wand.

If I were a Seeker and you were a Snitch, would you let me catch you?

I don't have any muggle money, but I do have a sickle and two knuts.

Are you a bogart? 'Cause I have a fear of hot girls.

After a romantic night with me, you are going to need a timeturner because you are going to want to experience it again and again.

Are you speaking parseltongue? 'Cause you're talking to my snake.

Your smile's like expelliarmus: simple but disarming.

My heart's splinched without you.

I'm goblin. Let me stroke your vault.

You're like a bottle of Skele-Gro: growing me a bone.

Why don't i make like Salazar and Slyther inside of you?

Did you survive Avada Kedavra? 'Cause you're drop dead gorgeous.

I can be your house elf. I'll do whatever you want and I don't need any clothes.

I need a pensieve because my head is filled with thoughts about you.

How do I get into your Department of Mysteries?

Just like the Slytherin common room, how 'bout my snake in your dungeons?

I don't know a thing about Merlin's pants, but I'd love to get into yours!

You don't have to worry about me, I've been tested for Hogwarts, if you know what I mean.

If you were a basilisk, I wouldn't mind dying just to look into your eyes.

Are you a dementor? Because you send chills up my spine.

I'm just like Oliver Wood, baby... I'm a keeper!

Engorgio! Oh wait I don't need magic to enlarge this!

Firenze and I have a lot in common, we both have parts like a horse.

Did you say "Wingardium Leviosa"? Cause you've got me rising, baby.

Could I borrow your wand? I need to practice my 'swish and flick.'

Are you a dementor? Because you just took my breath away.

Yeah girls call me "Aguamenti." Every time they hear my name, they get wet.

It's a portkey.... once you touch it, it will take you somewhere you ain't never been before.

Want to learn to speak troll? I can get you grunting in no time.

Would you like a butterbeer? It's a portkey. Next thing you know we'll be back at my place.

I don't need the mirror of Erised to know that you're everything I desire.

I'm like the spine on a care of magical creatures book; if you stroke me right I'll open wide for you. (Pretty much a witch's line)

Did you just cast a spell on me baby? 'Cause I'm feeling an engorgio charm coming on.

I know you're taken, but if I had a time-turner, you'd be mine.

Is your name "Avada Kedavra"? 'Cause you've got a killer bod.

The sorting hat says you should be in my house...wait ...whats that...it also says you should be in my bed.

Did you use Relashio? 'Cause there's sparks between us.

Not even Veritaserum could make me express how much I’m truly attracted to you.

If you were a Dementor I would turn criminal just to get your kiss.

You don't have to say "Lumos Maxima" to turn me on.
last edited on Jul 06, 2009 at 03:29AM
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Harry Potter 301 replies

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over a year ago aylortay003 said…
laugh
my favorite was the one about the person surviving avada kedavra
over a year ago ally11 said…
my fav is you may not be in fliwick's class but your still charming
over a year ago mandali said…
laugh
I CRACKED A RIB!! Great lord! These are Hilarious!! xD
over a year ago CaputDraconis said…
laugh
Oh gods those are so funny! Some might get you punched, smacked, slapped, kicked, avada kedavra'd, crucio'd or sewn inside a bag of weasels and dumped in a river.
over a year ago cubsrule said…
hey pjo Caput Draconis! anyway these are fuckinj hilarious
over a year ago rk1241 said…
HAHAHA hilarious!
but some are just dirty :(
over a year ago Onyxblade_6 said…
I've been whomping my willow thinking about you.

Lol ! x)
Funny...
over a year ago iluvasians said…
heart
AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!
over a year ago dooodle said…
cool
Ohhhh.... I think those dirty ones could get the killing curse used on you! But still, HILARIOUS! YES, I love the hunger games. Deal with it. xD
Ohhhh.... I think those dirty ones could get the killing curse used on you! But still, HILARIOUS! YES
TheKitty commented…
Wow over a year ago
TheKitty commented…
I Luv The Hunger Games 2! over a year ago
over a year ago jeniffer2200 said…
blush
Oh my god!
over a year ago BananaMaster565 said…
i just thot of one "Your gonna find my dragon in your gringotts"
last edited over a year ago
over a year ago nshorr said…
smile
Awesome! Told my Potterhead friends (practically all of my friends) these and they died. :3
Thanks for making this!
over a year ago FullMetalFrenzy said…
*I've been whomping my willow thinking about you.* Had me rolling on the floor. Love these!
over a year ago mordaciouslyme said…
laugh
"Do you know the Petrificus Totalus spell? Because you make me stiff."

Made my day.
over a year ago MelanieGranger said…
BAHHAHAHAHAHAH Oh lord I love all of them! I'll be telling my guy friends to use these next time they wanna pick up a Harry Potter fan ;)
over a year ago KirstenElaine said…
Can't stop cracking up.
, now my mum and dad are looking at me like I need to go to a mental hospital or somthan!
over a year ago Weasel1999 said…
these are so funny! xD
over a year ago ravenclaw8814 said…
Hehehe. Nicely done:)
over a year ago ReibyKathBlack said…
laugh
You must be magical, because I've fallen under your spell.
over a year ago MJFan232 said…
smirk
Very awesome! :) I like them, especially "Did you survive Avada Kedavra? 'Cause you're drop dead gorgeous", "Why don't I make like Salazar and Slyther inside of you?" and, last but not least, "I know you're taken, but if I had a time-turner, you'd be mine".

Very awesome, as well as very creative, too. ;)
Very awesome! :) I like them, especially "Did you survive Avada Kedavra? 'Cause you're drop dead
over a year ago TheKitty said…
smirk
Me to :D
over a year ago Potterrocks112 said…
I'm not Luna, but I sure know how to Lovegood.

Girl: I'm going to bed now.
Boy: Can I Slytherin?
over a year ago corinacute101 said…
I love them :)
11 months ago HermioneLover3 said…
i think my favorite one is, "I can be your house elf. I`ll do whatever you want, and I don`t need any clothes." i am a muggle girl, but i still think its hilarious. thx
11 months ago beezo said…
LMFAO I LOVE DEEZ!