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Harry Potter Pickup Lines

smoore23 posted on Mar 29, 2008 at 05:56AM
Okay guys, I came across these HP related pickup lines on a Facebook group and they cracked me up. I thought I'd share some of the not-too-dirty ones with you.

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We may not be in Professor Flitwick's class, but you still are charming.

My love for you burns like a dying phoenix.

Being without you is like being under the Cruciatus Curse.

If I was to look into the Mirror of Erised, I would see the two of us together.

What do you say we disapparate out of here.

You know, when I said, "Accio hottie," I didn't expect it to work!

Will you be my horcrux tonight, so l can give a piece of my soul to you?

You must not be a Muggle, because you cast a spell on me.

Are you using the Confundus charm or are you just naturally mind blowing?

I must need Occlumency, because I can't get you out of my thoughts.

I might as well be under the Imperius curse, because I'd do anything for you.

Your smile's like expelliarmus: simple but disarming.

Did you survive Avada Kedavra? 'Cause you're drop dead gorgeous.

I need a pensieve because my head is filled with thoughts about you.

Cho Chang? More like Cha-Ching! Cause I just hit the jackpot.

Would you like a butterbeer? It's a portkey. Next thing you know we'll be back at my place.

I don't need the mirror of Erised to know that you're everything I desire.

Did you use Relashio? 'Cause there's sparks between us.

Did you slip some Firewhiskey into my drink, or are you just getting hotter?

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EDIT:
Ok, here are some more. Some are dirty!

I want to get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets.

You know, Hagrid's not the only giant on campus.

You know, the Sorting Hat placed me in Gryffindor. I think it's because like Godric Gryffindor himself, I too have an impressive sword.

Want to have a Tri-Wizards Tournament? Well not really "Tri-Wizard," I was thinking more one wizard and two witches.

I've been whomping my willow thinking about you.

Do you know the Petrificus Totalus spell? Because you make me stiff.

I'm not an Animagus but sometimes I can be real animal.

You know Platform 9 and 3/4? Well I know something else with the same exact measurements.

A couple nights with me and Moaning Myrtle will have to get a new nickname.

Wanna practice making what looks like a mandrake?

You look like you'd be a good Quidditch player. Want to ride my broomstick?

The thought of you makes something vast and silver erupt from my wand.

They say I'm like the horn of a crumple-horned snorkack. Explosive.

You're like a bottle of Skele-Gro: growing me a bone.

Why don't I make like Salazar and Slyther inside of you?

I can be your house elf. I'll do whatever you want and I don't need any clothes.

Why don't you come tame my dragon?

I don't know a thing about Merlin's pants, but I'd love to get into yours!

You don't have to worry about me, I've been tested for Hogwarts, if you know what I mean.

Engorgio! Oh wait I don't need magic to enlarge this!

Did you say "Wingardium Leviosa"? Cause you've got me rising, baby.

Would you like a butterbeer? It's a portkey. Next thing you know we'll be back at my place.

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Hope you guys enjoyed these.


EDIT: 5 July 2009 - I'm adding a few more just for fun. Enjoy.

Wanna make some magic together? My wand is at the ready.

I must have had some Felix Felicis because I think I'm about to get lucky.

You know, the Sorting Hat placed me in Gryffindor. I think it's because like Godric Gryffindor himself, I too have an impressive sword.

How 'bout you and me go look for the Room of Requirement?

You know Platform 9 and 3/4? Well I know something else with the same exact measurements.

A couple nights with me and Moaning Myrtle will have to get a new nickname.

Wanna practice making what looks like a mandrake?

If I try hard enough, I can get a really big patronus. All I have to do is think of happy things.

Will you be my horcrux tonight, so l can give a piece of my soul to you?

I know you want me to manage your mischief!

You don't need defense against my dark arts.

The thought of you makes something vast and silver erupt from my wand.

If I were a Seeker and you were a Snitch, would you let me catch you?

I don't have any muggle money, but I do have a sickle and two knuts.

Are you a bogart? 'Cause I have a fear of hot girls.

After a romantic night with me, you are going to need a timeturner because you are going to want to experience it again and again.

Are you speaking parseltongue? 'Cause you're talking to my snake.

Your smile's like expelliarmus: simple but disarming.

My heart's splinched without you.

I'm goblin. Let me stroke your vault.

You're like a bottle of Skele-Gro: growing me a bone.

Why don't i make like Salazar and Slyther inside of you?

Did you survive Avada Kedavra? 'Cause you're drop dead gorgeous.

I can be your house elf. I'll do whatever you want and I don't need any clothes.

I need a pensieve because my head is filled with thoughts about you.

How do I get into your Department of Mysteries?

Just like the Slytherin common room, how 'bout my snake in your dungeons?

I don't know a thing about Merlin's pants, but I'd love to get into yours!

You don't have to worry about me, I've been tested for Hogwarts, if you know what I mean.

If you were a basilisk, I wouldn't mind dying just to look into your eyes.

Are you a dementor? Because you send chills up my spine.

I'm just like Oliver Wood, baby... I'm a keeper!

Engorgio! Oh wait I don't need magic to enlarge this!

Firenze and I have a lot in common, we both have parts like a horse.

Did you say "Wingardium Leviosa"? Cause you've got me rising, baby.

Could I borrow your wand? I need to practice my 'swish and flick.'

Are you a dementor? Because you just took my breath away.

Yeah girls call me "Aguamenti." Every time they hear my name, they get wet.

It's a portkey.... once you touch it, it will take you somewhere you ain't never been before.

Want to learn to speak troll? I can get you grunting in no time.

Would you like a butterbeer? It's a portkey. Next thing you know we'll be back at my place.

I don't need the mirror of Erised to know that you're everything I desire.

I'm like the spine on a care of magical creatures book; if you stroke me right I'll open wide for you. (Pretty much a witch's line)

Did you just cast a spell on me baby? 'Cause I'm feeling an engorgio charm coming on.

I know you're taken, but if I had a time-turner, you'd be mine.

Is your name "Avada Kedavra"? 'Cause you've got a killer bod.

The sorting hat says you should be in my house...wait ...whats that...it also says you should be in my bed.

Did you use Relashio? 'Cause there's sparks between us.

Not even Veritaserum could make me express how much I’m truly attracted to you.

If you were a Dementor I would turn criminal just to get your kiss.

You don't have to say "Lumos Maxima" to turn me on.
last edited on Jul 06, 2009 at 03:29AM
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Harry Potter 295 replies

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over a year ago EmmaMarie said…
laugh
Lol y'all know ya'll was talking bout the date 1 well my bf used "Would u like a butterbeer? It's a portkey. Next thing u know you'll b sumwhere u hav never been b4." lol I kissed him n said there aint enough tequila in the world.
over a year ago NovemberDreamin said…
mischievous
haha those are so dirty!!
but so funny!! lol awesome :)
over a year ago caitie_cool said…
they r hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
over a year ago accioguitar said…
Hahaha those are awesome!!!! It'd be hilarious if someone actually used those in real life
over a year ago emk725 said…
mischievous
AHAHAHHA DUDE THESE ARE PRICELESS! i luv'em all.
over a year ago Italktosnakes said…
Forced to be a holder
For worst crime's result
Forever a slave
Follower till death
Who am I?
Any help? x
over a year ago slytherinangel said…
cool
Those are hilarious!
over a year ago Jdegirlie said…
laugh
AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH THAT WAS PRICELESS LOVE IT!
over a year ago aznpwincess said…
laugh
LOLs these are hilarious
over a year ago redsoxdog99 said…
If I were a Seeker and you were a Snitch, would you let me catch you? ~ My favorite!!
over a year ago LinaHarrow said…
hmmm
Those are quite weird actually.
over a year ago emilyroxx said…
laugh
I was like 'awww these are sweet... wait.... O_O wow.' lol.
over a year ago lauracullen66 said…
Why don't I make like Salazar and Slyther inside of you?
is it not- why dont i make like salazar and slyther in
over a year ago 007ali said…
big smile
lllllllllllllooooooooooooollllllllllllllll­lll­l.i­ts really awesome and funny
over a year ago xSannanas said…
heart
Hahahah, they're really good!
I really had to laugh so hard. ;'D
I love them..
over a year ago AvaMarch said…
big smile
My love for you burns like a dying pheonix. Thats my fave, its not dirty but im so going to use it just to see how ppl will react!!
over a year ago primarilymax said…
smirk
plain. hilariousness.
over a year ago katybuggy said…
smile
some were kindof romantic, like the ones with the mirror and stuff,but the rest were plain hilarious
over a year ago 1293495697890 said…
laugh
OMG i hurt myself laughing!!!
over a year ago vampirefan214 said…
laugh
LMAO!!!
Dirty!
But Funny!!!
lol.
over a year ago Sarahhouse said…
big smile
OMG
over a year ago ginnyweasleyfan said…
what about this?

So i was like Avada Kadavera and he was like *dead*
over a year ago MrsPotter98 said…
laugh
OMMJ! LMAO! those are so funny! have you used any of them? i'm gonna get someone to use one of them.
over a year ago crazymhie said…
over a year ago crazymhie said…
laugh
awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!