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Harry Potter Pickup Lines

smoore23 posted on Mar 29, 2008 at 05:56AM
Okay guys, I came across these HP related pickup lines on a Facebook group and they cracked me up. I thought I'd share some of the not-too-dirty ones with you.

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We may not be in Professor Flitwick's class, but you still are charming.

My love for you burns like a dying phoenix.

Being without you is like being under the Cruciatus Curse.

If I was to look into the Mirror of Erised, I would see the two of us together.

What do you say we disapparate out of here.

You know, when I said, "Accio hottie," I didn't expect it to work!

Will you be my horcrux tonight, so l can give a piece of my soul to you?

You must not be a Muggle, because you cast a spell on me.

Are you using the Confundus charm or are you just naturally mind blowing?

I must need Occlumency, because I can't get you out of my thoughts.

I might as well be under the Imperius curse, because I'd do anything for you.

Your smile's like expelliarmus: simple but disarming.

Did you survive Avada Kedavra? 'Cause you're drop dead gorgeous.

I need a pensieve because my head is filled with thoughts about you.

Cho Chang? More like Cha-Ching! Cause I just hit the jackpot.

Would you like a butterbeer? It's a portkey. Next thing you know we'll be back at my place.

I don't need the mirror of Erised to know that you're everything I desire.

Did you use Relashio? 'Cause there's sparks between us.

Did you slip some Firewhiskey into my drink, or are you just getting hotter?

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EDIT:
Ok, here are some more. Some are dirty!

I want to get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets.

You know, Hagrid's not the only giant on campus.

You know, the Sorting Hat placed me in Gryffindor. I think it's because like Godric Gryffindor himself, I too have an impressive sword.

Want to have a Tri-Wizards Tournament? Well not really "Tri-Wizard," I was thinking more one wizard and two witches.

I've been whomping my willow thinking about you.

Do you know the Petrificus Totalus spell? Because you make me stiff.

I'm not an Animagus but sometimes I can be real animal.

You know Platform 9 and 3/4? Well I know something else with the same exact measurements.

A couple nights with me and Moaning Myrtle will have to get a new nickname.

Wanna practice making what looks like a mandrake?

You look like you'd be a good Quidditch player. Want to ride my broomstick?

The thought of you makes something vast and silver erupt from my wand.

They say I'm like the horn of a crumple-horned snorkack. Explosive.

You're like a bottle of Skele-Gro: growing me a bone.

Why don't I make like Salazar and Slyther inside of you?

I can be your house elf. I'll do whatever you want and I don't need any clothes.

Why don't you come tame my dragon?

I don't know a thing about Merlin's pants, but I'd love to get into yours!

You don't have to worry about me, I've been tested for Hogwarts, if you know what I mean.

Engorgio! Oh wait I don't need magic to enlarge this!

Did you say "Wingardium Leviosa"? Cause you've got me rising, baby.

Would you like a butterbeer? It's a portkey. Next thing you know we'll be back at my place.

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Hope you guys enjoyed these.


EDIT: 5 July 2009 - I'm adding a few more just for fun. Enjoy.

Wanna make some magic together? My wand is at the ready.

I must have had some Felix Felicis because I think I'm about to get lucky.

You know, the Sorting Hat placed me in Gryffindor. I think it's because like Godric Gryffindor himself, I too have an impressive sword.

How 'bout you and me go look for the Room of Requirement?

You know Platform 9 and 3/4? Well I know something else with the same exact measurements.

A couple nights with me and Moaning Myrtle will have to get a new nickname.

Wanna practice making what looks like a mandrake?

If I try hard enough, I can get a really big patronus. All I have to do is think of happy things.

Will you be my horcrux tonight, so l can give a piece of my soul to you?

I know you want me to manage your mischief!

You don't need defense against my dark arts.

The thought of you makes something vast and silver erupt from my wand.

If I were a Seeker and you were a Snitch, would you let me catch you?

I don't have any muggle money, but I do have a sickle and two knuts.

Are you a bogart? 'Cause I have a fear of hot girls.

After a romantic night with me, you are going to need a timeturner because you are going to want to experience it again and again.

Are you speaking parseltongue? 'Cause you're talking to my snake.

Your smile's like expelliarmus: simple but disarming.

My heart's splinched without you.

I'm goblin. Let me stroke your vault.

You're like a bottle of Skele-Gro: growing me a bone.

Why don't i make like Salazar and Slyther inside of you?

Did you survive Avada Kedavra? 'Cause you're drop dead gorgeous.

I can be your house elf. I'll do whatever you want and I don't need any clothes.

I need a pensieve because my head is filled with thoughts about you.

How do I get into your Department of Mysteries?

Just like the Slytherin common room, how 'bout my snake in your dungeons?

I don't know a thing about Merlin's pants, but I'd love to get into yours!

You don't have to worry about me, I've been tested for Hogwarts, if you know what I mean.

If you were a basilisk, I wouldn't mind dying just to look into your eyes.

Are you a dementor? Because you send chills up my spine.

I'm just like Oliver Wood, baby... I'm a keeper!

Engorgio! Oh wait I don't need magic to enlarge this!

Firenze and I have a lot in common, we both have parts like a horse.

Did you say "Wingardium Leviosa"? Cause you've got me rising, baby.

Could I borrow your wand? I need to practice my 'swish and flick.'

Are you a dementor? Because you just took my breath away.

Yeah girls call me "Aguamenti." Every time they hear my name, they get wet.

It's a portkey.... once you touch it, it will take you somewhere you ain't never been before.

Want to learn to speak troll? I can get you grunting in no time.

Would you like a butterbeer? It's a portkey. Next thing you know we'll be back at my place.

I don't need the mirror of Erised to know that you're everything I desire.

I'm like the spine on a care of magical creatures book; if you stroke me right I'll open wide for you. (Pretty much a witch's line)

Did you just cast a spell on me baby? 'Cause I'm feeling an engorgio charm coming on.

I know you're taken, but if I had a time-turner, you'd be mine.

Is your name "Avada Kedavra"? 'Cause you've got a killer bod.

The sorting hat says you should be in my house...wait ...whats that...it also says you should be in my bed.

Did you use Relashio? 'Cause there's sparks between us.

Not even Veritaserum could make me express how much I’m truly attracted to you.

If you were a Dementor I would turn criminal just to get your kiss.

You don't have to say "Lumos Maxima" to turn me on.
last edited on Jul 06, 2009 at 03:29AM
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Harry Potter 301 replies

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over a year ago sahian5 said…
ha ha ha ha !!!!!!
over a year ago fayerox16 said…
wink
oh my god!!!!these are hilarious!
over a year ago Sprinter23 said…
mischievous
oooh...sexy...haha
These are hilarious!!
Not that I'd actually fall for these, though.
over a year ago skyLupusTheliel said…
heart
i love them!! :DD
over a year ago Flora_Bloom said…
laugh
They are so funny!*gasp*
over a year ago Nixie_Knox said…
laugh
These rock! Mind if I attempt a few?

I've competed in the Tri-Wizard Tournament, so I'm not afraid to risk getting lost in your maze!

You must have performed the Serpensortia, because when you walked in the room a huge snake just appeared!

If I were Mr Filch I'd use the shackles and chains on you the minute I caught you out of bed!

Okay, these were a bit dirty, but I had to give it a try. The ones you posted were great!
over a year ago princess829 said…
laugh
Some of these were cute!
Thanks heaps for posting :)
over a year ago HPisthebestDUH said…
Hi!! I like Harry Potter like you do. Wanna go out with me? thats what i woulsd say
over a year ago teamgeorge1 said…
ha ha ha ha those are flipin hiarious
over a year ago SEEKER6 said…
ew... but OMG LMBO that is so bloody hilarous
over a year ago MerlinBBC said…
These are funny :D
over a year ago Music_luvr1986 said…
i loved this it makes me laugh XD
over a year ago HaleyDewit said…
lol xD
over a year ago daughterof3 said…
cool
those were hlarious! i was laughin so had.
over a year ago sevendeadlysins said…
mischievous
"You know, the Sorting Hat placed me in Gryffindor. I think it's because like Godric Gryffindor himself, I too have an impressive sword." [Favorite!]

Harry Potter pick-up lines are always appropriate!
over a year ago MerlinBBC said…
cake
You deserve a cake for this one :D
over a year ago lrtc said…
hey are these real? harry potter isn't that dirty. but this is hilarious, so i don't really care!
over a year ago cherryade_s said…
laugh
hahahahhaha these are hilarious! whoever came up with these is genius!
over a year ago MakeItBlue said…
laugh
These are funny and creative lol I love them!!!!
over a year ago GreekRULES515 said…
heart
Oooooo LALA
over a year ago vampressslizzie said…
These are funny as heckk
over a year ago Dr_TorchwoodSH said…
kiss
LMFAO! I'd so bed anyone who used thes pick-up lines on me >_<
over a year ago Darkshine said…
OMG so funny! xD
last edited over a year ago
over a year ago Primrose8297 said…
laugh
these are so funny!! totally made me lmao!!!
over a year ago smallypuppy22 said…
They are funny I can't stop laughing and some of them are really good and some of them are really dirty hahah lol