A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up to him and ask, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him and whisper, "Seven days..."
A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking, saying, "Walk much?"
A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.
A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Haha, loser!"
A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.
A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.
A good friend gives you their umbrella when it rains. A best friend takes yours and yells, "Run, bi***, run!"
A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.