someone mentioned your name today. It wafted over to me like the smell of spicy perfume - pleasant at first, but one that stings in the long run. My subconscious picked it up, without me noticing and, I must admit, it took me a few tenths of a second to dig up your file in my brain. I seemed to forget who you were for that short amount of time. For that brief, innocent period, I was unaware. The name could have been from years and years ago, it could have been a name I had given to a puppy many years back, the name of a plush toy, the name carved in a bus stop bench. A name that I had known, but never had I connected with a human being or a face.

An abrupt twist brought me back around, down to Earth, back to reality. The brain has a tendency for remembering crimes and pain. To make things clear, I am not me. If my name got caught in your ears, you'd think of a shadow. You'd remember a person, now gone. You'd think of her, but it wouldn't be me. The same name. But not me at all. And you should know, I hate myself right now. There is a chemical eating me up from the inside. The chemical not being guilt....

I am sure a lot of you know that Cami (caramelmilk)are together and have been for almost 3 years. I love her more than anything and can't wait to have a family with her. Well, a couple months ago we decided that now was the time.

And guess what?!? She is pregnant *_* We are going to have a baby! Oh, I can not wait! I am going to spoil the hell out of him or her. I have to go shopping soon and get a "my mommies rock' jumper *_*

We just found out, but I could not wait to tell everyone! I am just too excited! A baby! *_*

Before I explain, let me give you a little background on the situation at hand. I joined this site coming on three years ago, back in 2008. At the time, I watched only two TV shows: House and Bones. A year later, in August, 2009, I watched five: House, Bones, Fringe, Lie to Me, and 24. By August, 2010, I was watching seven shows, having added Psych, Criminal Minds, and NCIS to my repertoire (24 had since ended). This time two weeks ago, I was watching twenty-one TV shows, having picked up fourteen shows in just the past six months. When I had to type up a list on MS Word of all the shows I watched, because I couldn't even remember them all off the top of my head, I realized the situation was probably getting a little unhealthy. Given that, while I was home for spring break this past week, I got together with a friend who has the same problem I do: the tendency to start watching, and usually get hooked on, new TV shows when bored. We sat down with a list of all the shows we watched, and we started crossing shows off the list. I managed to get my list whittled down to thirteen shows on the spot (this is still a big number, but it sounds a lot better when I realized that I used to...