"So, what do you think I should serve for Christmas dinner? Turkey? Ham?" Wilson asked House as they walked through the Whole Foods.
"Why not both? The more left overs, the more I get to relieve you of."
Wilson rolled his eyes and picked up a bag of croissants.
"Anyway, you're Jewish you can't eat ham."
"I'm Jewish but not orthodox. You've seen me eat bacon."
"You're mother must be rolling over in her grave."
"My mother's not dead, House."
"It's an expression, Wilson. No one ever said it had to make sense." House replied as he placed a few cans of cranberry sauce into the cart.
"Hey, here's a thought. Why not for once you actually show up for the dinner itself instead of five hours later."
"I don't do Christmas parties."
"What are you the Fonz? Come to the party."
"I'd rather just go drinking with you at midnight. It's our tradition, Wilson. You wouldn't want to break tradition." House said with mock sincerity.
"You don't want to come because that would mean having to be somewhat social and we can't have that. Hey, grab that bottle of cooking sherry."
House placed the sherry into the cart.
"I can be social. Hell, our little bet proved I can even be nice."
"So, then there is no reason why you can't attend." Wilson said with a victorious smile.
"Just because I can be nice doesn't mean I want to. Anyway, what's in it for me?"
"Oh, I don't know. Free food. Free booze..."
"But I'll get that anyway when I raid your fridge," House stated as he picked up a can of Pringles and threw it in the cart.
"Cuddy will be there."
House stopped to rub his leg a bit before responding.
"Then I definitely won't be there." He said as he walked down the toiletrie isle.
Wilson pushed his cart down the same isle.
"What happened now?"
"House, come on. What happened?"
"I went to her home to see her...to give her some diapers..."
"That was nice of you..."
"I told her that the woman she saw was infact who she thought she was."
Wilson just stared blankly at House.
"Well, don't you have anything to say?"
"Hurry up already. I need some of your patented psycho-analysis."
Wilson picked up a pack of razors and placed them in his cart.
"You wanted to be honest with her. You wanted her to know that you are still a flawed man who doesn't always think before he acts."
"So, you think I did the right thing."
"Yes and no. Tell me, how did she respond?"
"At first she said she was a little put off by it, which in woman speak means she was pissed, but then she said exactly what I told you, that I owe her no explanation because we're not together."
"Sounds like a rationalization to me."
"But it's not. We aren't a couple, Wilson."
Ignoring House's statement, Wilson pushed the cart to the side and stood in front of his friend.
"How did the conversation end?"
"Because I'm betting you wouldn't be this doubtful of the situation if the conversation ended well."
"She asked me to leave."
"You're going to have to fix this, House."
"I brought the diapers..."
"More than that. Look, she's coming to the party under the condition that you not be there. But I think if you happened to crash the event and..."
"This plot is so hackeneyed I've seen it used on General Hospital five times already."
"It's an old standby. Just come. Bring her a present and really make it a fun night for her and the baby."
"She's bringing the munchkin?"
"I thought it would be nice."
"I don't know how to entertain a baby."
"Oh, please. I've seen you with infants, toddlers and little kids. You are great with kids. You treat them like little people and never dumb things down to them, but you also know how to charm them too. You are always you're best with kids. Adults on the other hand."
House shook his head.
"God, Wilson shut up. I'll consider going."
"Well, that's a start. Just don't get her any present that involves crotchless panties or edible underwear. And no monster truck tickets, laser tag coupons, or free passes into strip clubs..."
"So, I get her nothing then?" House said with a wide grin.
"Get her something she'll like. You did great with the desk..."
"I know I did." He said sadly.
"I have faith that you'll do something else that she'll love."
House rolled his eyes.
"You're such a cornball romantic, Wilson."
"I have been married three times. If that's not romance..."
"It's not so much romance as it is unrelenting stupidity."
Wilson sighed in exasperation.
"Let's check out before you have me buying everything in the store.