Look there ! Any producer or someone said, his father is in euope in military and her mum died, when carly's born. but she don't know, until today. her father never told her, because he don't want, that she think's it's her fault, that her mother died. and carly thinks her mother is in military, too.
oh and carly thinks her mother is divorced and has 6 kids, but carly and spencer :)
Everyone on the web is saying she died when Carly was 3. But according to Dan Schiender, creator of Icarly, it was never specified that she died. They never mention her. They should do an episode that focuses on what happened to her mom. They do a lot of episodes that involves her father but not her mother. It would clear up a lot of confusion if they would explain what happened to Carly and Spencer's mom.
All we know is that her dad is in the Air Force, and it's pretty unclear what happened, but she may have died, mainly because in the episode IChristmas, you see that Spencer was her guardian when she was 5, so she may have died giving birth to Carly, but it's still unclear, because other things could've happened, just like how you see that Sam's dad may have left when in ILost My Mind the officer says "Where's your father?" and Sam responds "You tell me!". Freddie's father is never mentioned either, he could've died before Freddie was born, because Mrs. Benson was on her own when Freddie was 3 (Mentioned in iGo To Japan.) Dan Schnieder said he may explain all of this in a future episode.
"Although no mention is made about the location of their mother, Carly and Spencer's father is a U.S. Air Force officer ('Col. Steven Shay'), temporarily stationed on a submarine, who is often mentioned but has never actually been seen on the show."