Music flowed through my ears as I wrote a verse of the song; I paused and glanced at a picture of Jacob, Sam, Seth, Leah, Quil, Embry, Paul and Jared they was bunched together but the only person I couldn’t keep my eye off of was Jacob. I whipped a tear as I continued to write.
Baby I loved you from the very start even though I knew that you break my heart.
I quickly changed the song searching for another song that could help me express myself. I couldn’t find the words on my own, I rarely could, I would always either write down lyrics or say them if I knew them by memory, my bad habit gotten worse when Bella came back, I don’t have anything against her but Jake almost always forgot I was around when she came around, he always followed her around like a lost puppy, Leah understood where I was coming from, everyone knew about my crush on him except for Jake, even though it was obvious. He didn’t pay that much attention when she was around. I quickly scribble some more words
Not trying to hear you tell no body that I’m just your friend, just trying to make sure am that body that you call your girl. And anytime you need a shoulder it’s yours night or day, but what I’m trying to say is that I want to be, the last number you call late at night, first one that you dial when you open your eyes , wanna be the one you run to, wanna be the one that aint going to hurt , wanna be the girl making all your friends jealous, whatever you need, you can count on me, your lover, your friend, I just want to be yours!
Tears began to flow down my face, a drop fell on my letter smuggling the last to letters of my sentence. But I was startled as Jacob landed in my bedroom from my window.
“That girl is driving me crazy!” he exclaimed as he paced back and forth. I quickly pushed the letter in my computer desk draw. I whipped my tears before he could notice them.
“Who are you talking about? I said even though I knew he was talking about Bella.
“Bella, can you believe she choose him over me!” he said as he finally plopped on my bed.
“What did you think Jake, we all knew she was” I said.
“What do you have against her!” he defended.
“I have nothing against her, I mean we did grow up with her, I just don’t like to see my best friend depressed” I explained.
“One day she will come around” he said as he stood up, “Yup one day” he continued.
I just nodded at him; I didn’t believe she was, she was so much crazy in love with that blood sucker Edward. “Maybe” I lied.
“You think so too?” he asked me.
I shrugged my shoulders “I don’t know Jake, to me she just looks to you as a friend”
Jacob looked as he wanted to cry. “Well I’m going to head home, and sleep this anger off” he then gracefully headed out my window, I seen him transform and make his way into the woods. I took off my Armani glasses and just cried. What was it about me that he just didn’t notice me, I was pretty, I have long black silky hair, I even changed how I dressed, I use to be a tom boy, since I would hang around the pack, they was rough. I was lighter than him in my complication due to my mother being white, she ran away from her father when she was a teen, my father and grandfather saw her one night in the rain walking they took her here and well they fell in love, they got married young, then had my twin brother Adam and I. My mother heard me cry as she passed my door way, she walked in with her nurse outfit on; she must have just gotten home from work.
“Jake was here wasn’t he?” she asked.
“How did you know “I asked?
“Cause sweetie every time he comes by you cry” she said. She sat down next to me and placed her arm around me and gently kissed my forehead. “Sweetie stop hurting yourself, it hurts us to see you like this” I whipped my tears, “I know mom, but it’s hard” I answered.
“Donald likes you, his father always tells me how he is nervous to ask you out” she said.
“Mom, he is a geek, I don’t like him”
“Keila don’t be so mean, give him a shot”
“I’m not going to promise anything but I will think about it”
“Okay, that’s a start” she smiled at me, even as a kid her smile always made me happy. She kisses my forehead and heads out my room, I threw myself on my bed, I felt a little better after my talk with my mom. There has been some tension in my house lately, ever since Grandpa George had a vision of my brother phasing into a werewolf. My father was proud, but my mother wasn’t too thrilled with the idea of her only son becoming a werewolf. To me I was neutral about the idea since I hung around the wolf pack all my life. I figured he was going to phase due to his drastic growth spurt, from a wimpy skinny kid to a cut up hot shot, he suddenly was popular. “I’m going to keep smiling, I’m gonna keep it moving cause I don’t need you” was the word that hit my ears as I played my ipod.
The next morning I got in my 2005 mustang, I put the same song on; it was like an inspiration for me to get over him. “So I stare at your picture for the last time, to ease my mind, this time I won’t even break down and cry. I had good reason for leaving you, I wasn’t ever good enough for you, so I’m gonna keep smiling, I’m gonna keep it moving cause I don’t need you anymore” those words hit home for me, as it made its way from my new car system to my ears that I installed a few weeks back, I had it on repeat as I made my way to school. As I parked, I notice him standing outside the campus with Seth, Leah and my brother. I walked up to them; I said my hello’s and made my way to class. Jake and I had the same 1st period and 4th period classes together. I told myself to ignore him if he came in today. I was shocked when he walked in, he sat next to me, which was rare, I knew he probably wanted to talk to me about her again.
“Sorry for yesterday” he wrote on a note.
“Sorry for what?” I wrote back. I was hoping that he would write “sorry for not realizing I loved you all my life” but it wasn’t it was about Bella.