"When you care enough for someone, you take the good with the bad. You look past the faults and dangers, and get driven by your heart. But somtimes we don't realise, our hearts don't always think rationaly."
- Brianna MB.
Here i was in my grade 9 english class, stuck in the solitude that is school. I looked around the room, trying to find somthing that would spike my interest. Possibly two girls chatting noisely about the latest gossip or maybe, if im lucky, I'll hear two boys recapping another lame action movie. I chuckled to myself.
I tried to drown out the teachings of my english teacher, Mr.Capp. His colourless voice was practicly putting the class to sleep. It wouldn't be so bad if the material wasn't already oh too familiar to me.
Mr.Capp, like me, was a new addition to Forks highschool. He was an older man - early fiftees, who so blantantly disliked teenagers - Or any children for that matter.
He'd always drag on about how he should be teaching at a prestigious place like Havard, instead this "Sad excuse for a town". It still baffled me why one would pursue a career that they disliked so much.
I turned my attention to the window. It was gloomy outside, as usual. Forks was such a.. secluded area. It seemed lonely, always cold and wet.
But It's what kept my family a secret, the gloomy days.
It took me a moment to realise that the dull voice had silenced, and the sound of papers shuffling and pens writing had replaced it. I faced the board looking at our assignment.
Great, another essay.
I reluctently slipped out a piece of paper from my binder. sliding a pencil out from underneath it, I wrote my name in the top corner.
Renesmee Carlie Cullen.
I like my name. I was named after both my grandmothers ; Renee, My mother's mom and Esme, My father's adopted mother. It's one thing about me that is unique, not that I'm not unique - Because I am loads of that.
I'm what they call a "Half-breed". If you do you're reasearch, then you're probaly thinking my parents were two different cultures. I guess culture could be a word used - But I think .. species may be more.. apropriate.
I am half Vampire, half Human. This was acheived by my mother being impreganted by my father when she was still human. As far as we know, there aren't many of my kind out there. There are some - But not tons. This is because what my mother did was very dangerous - Fatal.
My mother carried me through bruised ribs and broken bones, right up until birth. I could've quite literaly killed her, but instead my father was able to turn her into a vampire before it was too late.
I could never understand how she was able to do it. She told me that when you love someone enough, you'll do anything to protect them - Even if that meant giving up you're own life for them. And because what she did for me, I am forever indebt to her.
My vampire family out numbers my human family easily. There is Edward and Bella; They are my parents. Carlisle and Esme, who are my (Vampire) grandparents. Also Alice and Jasper aswell as Rosalie and Emmett; Their my Aunts and Uncles.
I also have Jacob and his pack. Their werewolves (Shape shifters, more specificly) old family friends of my family. Like my family, the wolves don't age. Jacob is like a very very...very over protective brother. He only means well though, But he's always been there for me.
The werewolves and Vampires used to be mortal enemies, but for some reason that they all refuse to explaint to me, the whole "Mortal enemy" thing changed when I came along.
My human family consists of; Charlie, My mother's father, Phil and Renee, Who are Her Stepfather and Mother. Charlie is the only human who knows everything about us ( You know, being Vampires and all) It took a couple years for him to accept it, but he finaly came around. But I find his inability to say the word "Vampire" and "Wolf" quite amusing.
Although I am a Half-breed, I find myself to be more human these days. I am nowhere near able to run as fast as I could when I was younger - The same applies for my strength and thirst for blood.
Carlise has a theory, though. He thinks the more I age, the more human I get. But he beilives that once I stop aging, all my Vampire abilities will come back to me; I guess only time will tell.
But there's one thing I'll always have - My gift. I'm able to show people what i'm thinking . I've learned to control it, so people can't just watch my thoughts at will, but it only takes a touch of the hand for me to show them. Not that it's much help to my father, considering he can read minds.
Suddenly a tap on my shoulder had startled me. I accidently threw my books on the ground.
"Miss cullen?" I looked up to see my english teacher with a grin on his face "Day dreaming are we?"
"Sorry" I grinned sheepishly, and quickly recovered my books from the floor.
Not that I really needed to pay attention, I added in my head. I never really liked this whole school idea that carlisle had convinced my parents into.
He leaned down to whisper somthing in my ear
"You are.. well..supposed to be in grade nine, right?"
I nodded my head perplexed by the question, then it dawned on me. Although i am technicley only fourteen years of age I have the body, and knowledge of an eighteen year old. I had started growing normaly about two years after my birth, which by then I could have easily looked like a ten or eleven year old. And I should stop growing in a year or so. Of couse this raises many questions, but people usualy dont ask, they just assume i look older for my age.
Suddenly the bell rang, freeing me of further embarressment. I collected my books and keeping my head down, I quickly headed for the door along with my classmates. As I put my stuff in my locker I heard my name being whispered from all different directions. Being the new girl had those...disadvantages.
I dont like being the center of attention, but my Mother and Father said it's best if I make friends, it lessens the "Cullen curiosity". I prayed hoping that nobody would come talk to me, but sure enough..
"Hey! I'm Alex"
I heard a voice spring from behind me, I hesitated for a moment. But I decided it would me impolite to ignore the boy, Turning around I met his gaze.
Woah. Deja vu much? This boy was an almost exact copy of Jacob; His tan skin, Built body, and even the way he held himself. Except, this Alex boy had green eyes and seemed more boyish then Jacob, less mature.
I stammard trying to find somthing to say. He watched me curiously for a moment, then continued.
"You must be Renesmee?" He asked, although the question was more rehtorical.
"Yes..er, How did you know?"
He smiled and shrugged.
"Pale skin, brown eyes, Long curls - You're the talk of the school, and probaly the whole town."
I felt my face get hot. I started to panic, I felt my heart excelerate. The whole town? I though anxiously. I bit my lip and felt uneasy for a moment.
He followed me with anxious eyes, "Hey, are you alright?"
I closed my eyes and took a breath, steadying myself. "I think so. I just don't take to attention much. I mean, it's just -"
He looked and me and chuckled."Its okay, don't worry, It wont last long"
His attempt at reasurring me seemed to work. He put his hand on my shoulder but immedietly recoiled it.
"Your warm!" he said while dramticly shaking off his hand.
Panic set in again, how could I explain my unusaly high tempature? But he seemed to do that for me.
"You're probaly just running a fever from the stress, why don't we go sit down in the cafeteria?"
I nodded my head and silently walked along beside him. I felt eyes on me the whole time,
"How long are people going to stare for? I whispered surprised at how at ease I felt with this stranger. " I mean, you'd think a day would be enough for people to get used to the fa-"
"Renesmee, thier not staring only because your new.. you are well, not to sound rude but..very attractive."
I smiled sheepishly as we sat down with, who I am assuming are his friends. He noticed my hesitation in the subject of my appearence and moved on. I looked around the table - Each stared back with curious eyes. I reconized a couple of the people from around the school or in class, but the others were unfamiliar.
"This is Morgan Graham"
He pointed to the short blonde girl, she had her hair up in a ponytail.She was studying feriously, mumbling things to herself in what i assumed was spanish. She stopped for a moment to smile at me , then focused again.
"Your going to give youself a brain hemmorage studying like that Morgan!"
Teased the tall asian boy beside her, she threw him a glare.
"And this is Kalvin" He said pointing to the boy.
"Hi, im kalvin, A kid today and the future owner of wonton to go tomorow!" he said with a bit of a sour tone.
The girl beside him was his twin sister jasmine. She threw him an annoyed look.
"Look sis, all im saying is that just because dads resturant has been through generations, dosn't mean I'd like to keep it going." Kalvin said defensively "I have much better things to do! I could become a doctor.. OR a superhero!"
He started humming his own theme song while everyone laughed. He turned to me and smiled;
"And you must be Renesmee cullen?"
"Yes" I said quietly.
I noticed people were pointing their phones at me.. Taking pictures? I watched them, suspiciously, but the minute they saw me they whipped back around.I turned back to the table,
"What was all that about?" I asked quietly.
Morgan turned to me laughing "Thier convinced that your some sort of celebirty, everyone is.."
I detected a small hint of jelousy at the end, although it did not bother me, i wasnt here to steal anybodys spotlight.
"Speaking of celebrities" Alex turned to me, "Where are you from"?
"I bet she's from New York City" Said kalvin enthusiasticly
" Or what about LA?" suggested morgan
"No, she is much to pale .." Concluded Jasmine.
I could see that Jasmine was the observant one here. Maybe she was a little too observant? Nothing to worry about now though..
"Actualy, Im from forks, I live just outside of town really, I've been homeschooled for most of my life, although now carli- i mean my grandfather, thinks its best i get some social involement."
"..You parents thought it was a good idea to hide" He ran to my side, "THIS!?" he joked dramaticly.
I smiled then bit my lip. I watched my hands for a moment, feeling uneasy. Suddenly I noticed the cafeteria felt emptier then usual. I looked up - It looked pretty empty aswell. I saw the crowd of students forming around the exit door in the far end of the cafeteria.
Suddenly Mr.Macey, The principal, was shouting at the students to retreat back to their seats. Reluctently, they complied. I hadn't noticed until now, that the rest of my table had gotten up aswell.
Morgan, Kalvin ,Jasmine and Alex came back and sat down.
"They have to be exagerating!" I heard morgan gush as she sat down " They can't grow that big - Even in a place like this"
" I don't know.." Jasmine shyly protested "Why would they lie about that?"
"What happened?" I asked curiously, in a general direction hoping somebody would answer my question.
"Well" Morgan started, obviously anxious to get her answer out before Jasmine. " These two students were wondering into the forest -"
"Way off school grounds.." Intercepted Jasmine.
Morgan rolled her eyes and continued. "And apparently they saw these two HUGE wolves running!"
My heart stopped for a moment. "Wolves?" I asked quietly "You're sure?"
"One hundred per -"
"Morgan, don't lie!" Jasmine scolded. "They were probaly bears or somthing. Wolves can't grow that big!"
"And bears can?" Morgan challenged.
Alex laughed and nudged me " Don't worry, Morgan tends to overexagerate things.."
She threw him a glare "I'm not lying!"
"Whatever." Kalvin said, obviously exhasperated by the bickering. " I don't care what type of animal it was. But whatever they were, their not safe.. they'll probaly kill them."
I gasped. "NO!"
They all stared at me, confused by my reaction.
"I mean.. Why kill the poor animals? they haven't hurt anyone..."
They all nodded and agreed. I would have to be careful not to slip up anymore.
The rest of the day was kind of a blur. I had a few more conversations with Morgan, Alex, Kalvin and Jasmine. I found out that Alex was 17, Morgan 15 (Like myself) and that she was actualy in my english class. And that Jasmine and Kalvin were both 16.
No conversation could keep my mind off of what happened at Lunch, though. Of course Charlie wouldn't pursue them, but that wasn't what was bothering me. Usualy Jacob and his pack don't travel outside of LA Push, Which meant he was checking up on me.. The thought of that annoyed me.
I thought he was kidding when he talked to me before I left this morning.
"Renesmee" I remembered Jacob smiling at me, " Stay out of the forest, It's dangerous."
I had assured him I wouldn't go near it. I remember him adding that he would be watching.
We had talked about this before - He can't possibly protect me everywhere. I need some sense of responsibility for myself. And the fact that I'm not as strong anymore doesn't help my case.
"You're weak now" I remember Jacob saying to me one afternoon, as we argued over me going to school. " You can't protect yourself anymore, So I will."
Of course he would use me losing my abilities as another excuse. But he promised me he would stay away, that he would let me do this on my own. I agreed to let him pick me up and drop me off - But that was it.
Finaly the last bell of the day rang, and I would now get my chance to talk to Jacob. I really hadn't decided if this was a good or bad thing, yet. I collected my stuff and headed out to the parking lot. But before I could reach Jacob's car, a figure stopped infront of me.
"Renesmee?" I stared up at Alex, his green eyes hopeful.
I looked behind Alex to glance at Jacob. He was standing outside his car, impatient now. He looked as if he was going to grab me and run - Obviously he didn't trust this boy..
Not that he trusts anyone. I turned my attention back to Alex and smiled,
He seemed to relax at my friendly response. I guess the rest of that day I hadn't been in the greatest mood, and he had noticed.
"I was..er.. Wondering if maybe you'd like to come hang out with us tonight?" He watched me nervously.
"Us?" I asked, trying to clarify who we would all be with. Although, I could only asume who it would be.
He laughed, A nervous laugh. "Oh right! Morgan, Jasmine, Kalvin and Myself?"
I looked at Jacob once more, doubting he'd let me go out for the night with them. Although he did care for me, he isn't my mother. And who would one night out hurt? Other then Jacob. Turning back to Alex,
"Sure, Sounds fun"
He smiled widely at my response. "Great! we'll pick you up around 7?"
I nodded and made my way down the stairs, he followed me.
"Do you want a ride home?" He asked suddenly as we reached the bottom of the stairs.
"Thank-you, But I already have one" I said gesturing at Jacob.
He paused for a moment, his face suddenly unsure. "Is he your..uh, boyfriend?"
I laughed, "Jacob? Oh gosh no! He's a family friend."
He brightened again, "Great! So see you at seven"
I waved by as he left to his car, and turned to face Jacob. Although he wasn't watching me, His eyes were locked on Alex, he seemed.. angry almost. Probaly just being overprotective again.
"Jacob?" I said as I reached him. His attention snapped to me,
"Oh hey Nessie!" He smiled.
Although I didn't return one back.
I sat down in the passenger seat of his car, staring absent mindedly out the window. He could tell I was upset as he pulled out of the parking lot, he was silent for a moment.
I closed my eyes. "Not a word, Jake. So who was it? You and Quil?"
"Seth" he replied, unsure.
"Listen jake, i know you mean well..But this isn't like im near danger, It's highschool" I said softly.
If anything thier in danger from me! I added to myself.
We arrived at my house. I stared out the windshield, watching my warm cottage and avoiding his gaze.
"Nessie, I just don't want you getting hurt, your my family. You have no idea what they cou-" He paused for a moment "We will protect you." He said slipping in the plural.
I stepped out of the car and shut the door behind me. Jacob was already at my side, watching me anxiously.
"Are you still mad at me?" He asked quietly.
I decided I couldn't stay mad at Jacob, he did only mean well.
"I guess not" I said, breaking into a smile.
He wrapped his arms around me, holding me into a vice tight hug. I felt better now that I wasn't angry with him. It feels wrong to be mad - I can't explain it. He let me go and led me into the house.
I walked into my parents little cottage home. I loved our house - Unlike everything else in my family, this was low key. It really did feel like home. And it was beautiful, the stonework, the detail. Esme and Alice did do a beautiful job on the decor..
"Renesmee" My mother said wrapping her cool, stone arms around me "How was school?"
"Minus the wolf scare Jacob managed to create amongst the students? Pretty boring."
Jacob rolled his eyes, and sat down beside my father.
"Oh, Yes." My mother said releasing me, She walked over to Jacob accusingly. "Charlie called. You know, he can't keep covering up for you."
Jacob smiled " Oh, Please Bells. I'm not dangerous"
" They don't know that. Not to mention you promised Renesmee-"
Jacob put his hand up to stop her. "Okay Bella, I promise I won't do it again."
She smiled, "Thank-you Jacob"
My mother took her place back next to my father. I picked up my Backpack and headed to my room.
"I'm just going to go work on a couple Essay's" I said heading to my room.
" Renesmee" My father said smiling, "You've been at school all day, don't you wan't to take a break and go out?"
"Sure" I said smiling. "How about cliff diving?"
Everyone froze at the same moment, staring at me.
"I was just kidding..Yeesh."
I walked into my room and closed the door lightly behind me. My family were a little bit sensitive about motorcycles and cliffdiving or anything romotely dangerous for that matter. Back when my mother was still human she had a couple..uh.. accidents. My father, or Jacob have never really gotten over it and refuse to let me anywhere near it.
I pulled out a fresh peice of paper, ready to start my work when a knock sounded at my door.
"Come in" I said, pulling out a pencil. "Oh, Hey Jake."
Jacob came in and sat next to me. He was quiet for a moment, watching me as I started to write. I was starting to worry, usualy he would say somthing by now..
"Renesmee?" He finaly breathed. " You remember when we were in the parking lot?"
I nodded "Mmhm.."
Where was he going with this?
"Who was that boy you were with?"
I smiled "I guessed that you were going to ask me sooner or later. His name is Alex."
"Oh" He said, quiet for a moment. "Do you ..er.. Like him?"
I thought for a moment, I felt Jacob get more tense with each second that passed. I finaly answered.
"He's my friend, If that's what you're wondering.."
He smiled, A bit brighter. He seemed happier now that I've clairfied my intentions with Alex.
"When you're done your work, do you wanna come down to LA Push?"
I smiled " I would -But I've already made plans."
He hesistated for a moment. "With that Alex kid?"
"Yes.. And Jasmine, Kalvin and Morgan."
" That's better, I guess" He said, A bit happier. "Do you wan't a ride?"
"No, He's picking us up"
I stood up and put my books away. I decided to give up on trying to write an Essay now. I turned to Jacob who now stood across from me, leaning on my wall. His eyes narrowed suspiciously.
"How old is Alex?"
I shrugged and sat on my bed, " Like, Seventeen."
Jacobs eyes widened slightly "Seventeen?"
I nodded, confused. Why he was so upset of that made no sense to me. He took a step forward, raising his voice slightly.
"Renesmee - I'm not going to let you run around all night with a bunch of Seventeen year olds and -"
"Actualy," I interjected " Morgan is 15 and Kalvin and Jasmine are 16.."
"No." Jacob said again, sternly. "You're not going"
I stared at him for a moment "I don't see the big deal! technically, you're seventeen."
"That's different." He said, almost silent now. He closed his eyes, trying to calm himself.
"How?" I challenged.
" Renesmee - Just listen to me, please -"
"Jacob, you're not my father." I said, Looking away from him.
"That's true." He said abrubtly "But your parents are currently out hunting, and they put me in charge of you.."
I sat there, speechless. What was with Jacob? Why was it so hard for him to let me out for the night, it's one night for heaven sakes!
I didn't talk to Jacob the rest of the night. I found the notion quite childish, and very unlike myself. But I had to put my foot down eventualy.
I stared unwillingly at the clock over my door. I was hoping my parents would come home soon to talk some sense into Jacob, but I knew that was most unlikely considering their trips usualy last a few days. A few days stuck here, no freedom. A few days prisoner. Great.
I listened to the creaking of the floorboards outside my room as Jacob paced. Back and forth. Back and forth. Maybe he was still debating whether or not to let me go, but again, very unlikely.
Just as my phone rang, the pacing stopped. I scrambled across my room and picked it up off my dresser.
"Hello?" I said, making my way back to my bed to sit down.
"Hey!" Alex's bright voice sprang. "You still up for tonight?"
I graoned and layed back.
"I wish - I'm sort of being held prisoner" I made a point of saying this louder, so Jacob would hear.
I could imagine him rolling his eyes at me.
"Grounded, huh?" Alex said, dissapointment obvious in his voice.
"I wish, Maybe if I was grounded I would get to at least step outside.." I answered bitterly.
Alex laughed, "Why don't you just..sneak out?"
Was he crazy? Of course I couldn't blame him, he doesn't know the circumstances. Sneaking out was an almost impossible thing. Jacob would probaly hear me, and even if he didn't he would send more people looking for me then I could imagine.
"Oh, yeah. That would totaly make Jacob happy" I said laughing.
"Wait, It's him?" Alex asked, his voice darker.
I didn't respond for a moment. Alex and Jacob obviously already didn't like each other. Note to self, don't bring them into the same room together. It would be like trying to push two negative magnets together - Impossible. But that was alright because Alex was my school life and Jacob was.. Jacob was my life.
"Yeah, but it-"
"I can come get you." He said abrubtly " I know you trust this Jason-"
"Jacob" I corrected him.
"Jacob - But there's somthing wrong with him."
I laughed. Humans were really more observant then I give them credit for.
"It's alright Alex" He started to protest. "Really, It's alright! I have to get some work done anyways"
He sighed, "Will I see you tomorow?"
"Promise" I said, smiling.
"Okay" His voice brightened. "See you soon! Bye!"
"Bye!" I said, hanging up.
I put the phone down and sat back up. I was surprised to see someone standing at the end of my bed.
Her sleek black hair and breathtaking beauty, her pale skin and excited eyes, were just the escape I needed.
"Alice!" I breathed happily, running over to hug her.
"Ouf! Renesmee! You seem in an awfuly good mood.."
I stepped back "Am I usualy in a bad mood?"
"Well Jacob seem's awfuly annoyed, I just asumed..."
I shot Alice a look, and she dropped the subject.
"Anyways!" She continued, as if nothing had happened. "Are you ready?"
I watched her excited look curiously for a moment. That's when I noticed her bag.
"No!" I said backing up, "Absolutely, positivly, no no no. NO."
She rolled her eyes "Come on, Renesmee! You knew this was going to happen eventualy."
Every spring alice comes over to update my closet. This means hours of being measured, poked, pricked, pleaded with and manipulated. I've explained to her before that I have enough clothes to last me a decade, but she still insists.
"Can't we wait until my parents get home?" I said, grimacing.
"No. Bella's more to your favour then to mine - She never lets me do as much as I want."
"Because I ask her to!"
"Exactly." Alice smirked.
"No." I said again " Really alice, I have enough-"
She placed her cold, marble hand on my arm lightly. I stared into her innocent eyes.
"Please Renesmee? You know there isn't a whole lot for me to do, and I don't ask for much and -"
I sighed, "Fine, fine."
A smug look crossed Alice's face. " I saw you saying yes earlier"
I snorted "Of course you did.."
I spent the remaints of my night, like I predicted, being measured, poked, pricked, pleaded with and without fail manipulated.
It seemed like the older I was getting, the less she expected me to wear. I grimaced at some of the Ideas she had planned for me. Mostly they would sit at the back of my closet where I hid them.
When she finaly left, around 11, I decided it was time to forgive Jacob.
I swiftly walked out of my room, closing the door behind me. I walked down into the livingroom; Jacob was sitting on the couch, watching the fireplace until he noticed my presence. His head shot up;
"Nessie?" He asked a bit unsure.
I felt my heart leap a little. I felt guilty for being mad at him..
"Hey Jake!" I smiled.
I sat next to him, and rested my head on his chest. I listened to his heartbeat for a moment.
"You're not mad at me anymore?" He whispered quietly.
I Wrapped my arms around him and smiled,
"I can't stay mad at you.."
And that was the truth. No matter how much I try to hate him, or be mad at him, I always end up in his arms. He means the world to me, he's been with me through everything.
He sighed happily
"You can't be mad at anyone, Nessie" He laughed.
I sat up, hitting his arm. " Yes I can! I just choose not to.."
He rolled his eyes and smoothed back my hair, tucking me back into his arms.
"Whatever you say.."