One more nail, One more coffin.

Rachel and Rebecca had made all the arrangements for our father’s funeral. The usually gloomy weather of Washington was even making an appearance as a light rain began to fall. As the three of us stood now at the side of our father’s coffin, all I could see at first were the nails in the coffin lid. I remembered my mother’s funeral. How ironic that they both died in the same manner. Everyone on the reservation and in the town of Forks was present today to pay honor to my father. The Cullen’s were allowed to cross the boundary line and even the Makah tribe leaders had come to pay their respects. Even Sam had recovered enough although he was still in a wheelchair. But at this point I was numb. I was paying no attention at all as Sue Clearwater and Old Quil Ateara recited the prayers to release my father’s spirit from his human form as is the custom in our tribe. I just stared blankly at his coffin. When the ceremony had ended people crowded around me. Exchanging words of sympathy to me. Telling me stories about my dad that I may not have known before, but I wasn’t listening. I never looked at anyone. I was like a piece of stone…hard, cold and unforgiving. Eventually the voices began to fade away. I heard car doors open and close as vehicles pulled away. I waited till the last vehicle had gone on its way. I still had one thing to do. I had written a letter to my dad. The one I should have given to him months ago. The letter he deserved to have but I had never sent to him. I knelt down into the earthen grave and gently placed it on his coffin with a small metal paperweight shaped into a wolf. It was all I could give him at this point. As I stayed kneeling over his grave a single beam of sunlight cascaded down into the grave and illuminated the paperweight. I reached my hand out to catch its warmth and I felt my father’s spirit wash over me. It almost felt good…but the fleeting moment was short lived as the clouds quickly consumed the light. I closed my eyes and I could feel the tears well up. In that instance, a familiar cold feminine hand touched my shoulder and I knew it was Bella. Without saying a word I reached up to place my hand to hers. She leaned over and spoke softly in my ear.”Jacob…there is someone here to see you” But I didn’t respond at first. A light breeze blew against my back as I felt another feminine hand come to rest on my other shoulder. I very warm hand. I heard a familiar heart beat but I was too afraid to move fearing it was only a dream. Then her voice spoke to me. “Jacob, it’s me…Nessie.” I cupped my free hand around hers as well.
“Hi girls.” I whispered to them.
“Jacob…Edward and I are going home. Please bring Nessie home by 9pm”
“Sure Bella” I said but still I hadn’t moved yet. I heard the Volvo pull away as Nessie knelt by my side. She lightly brushed my hair from my face and kissed my cheek. I knew I wasn’t dreaming. I could smell her sweet fragrance. Her warmth by my side. I gently wrapped my arms around her and embraced her.
“Jacob…I’m so sorry”
“For what…”
“For kissing you, for ruining everything”
I couldn’t believe my own ears. I stood up and pulled her in front of me as I locked my eyes on her with disbelief and shook my head.
“How can you say that? To me. How can you?’ I hissed
“I just can’t believe-“
“Nessie don’t. Don’t you dare regret that kiss! I don’t. I never will.”
“But my dad took me away from you”
“I don’t care about that. Your kiss was the best experience of my life! “
“Ness…I’m in love with you too. I always have been since the day you were born. I been waiting for you my whole life. “
“How what? How could I be in love with you from birth?”
“Well that’s kind of a long story actually.”
“I want to know.”
This was the one thing I figured I would never need to explain to her, but here she was now. Asking me for the truth. I took a deep breath and sighed.
“Nessie…you know I’m a shape shifter. That I turn into a wolf. Well that’s not all the story. In my tribe there is sometimes a bond that happens between two people that runs so much deeper that just words. A bond that can’t ever be broken. It’s timeless, ageless, it’s called imprinting.”
“Yes…on the day you were born. It happened to me. It happened the moment I looked at you and even though you were just a baby…I think it happened to you too. Didn’t you ever wonder why we have always been really close to each other? Why I have never spent more than a few hours apart from you on any given day? Why I have ALWAYS been right by your side? It’s because my love for you runs through ever part of me. We are two halves of the same person. I can’t live without you. And I need to know if you really feel the same way that I do”
“You know I do…I already showed you I did”
“Show me again Nessie, please!”
She gently placed her palm to my cheek as I closed my eyes in anticipation. The beautiful images began to wash over me. The warmth of her heart removed all the pain I had been feeling. I saw Edward’s final approval for our marriage, our wedding day down in La Push, my father’s home filled with things that belonged just to us, waking on the beach with her in my arms after our first intimate evening with each other, my hands caressing her belly with our first child safely in her womb. I didn’t want it to end. But she slowly let her hand drop from my cheek. I bent my head and placed it to hers as I hugged her tightly to me.
“See what I mean Nessie…we were always meant to be together. We don’t need to be ashamed of our love. I know that your dad wants you to grow up first. I do too. I have waited this long and I will wait forever more if I have to.”
“Jacob, my dad is sending me back to school tomorrow!”
“It’s okay. I can let you go long enough for college. Anything we have to do right now is for the best. I know it’s hard for me. I’m sure it’s hard for you too. But if we fight against your dad now…he may separate us forever and I can’t live without you. Don’t dwell on tomorrow just yet. Come on I’ll take you for another driving lesson, although I have to admit you impressed me last time” I laughed
She laughed in my arms as I kissed her on top of her head and we headed to the Mustang. I opened the driver’s door for her as she slid into the seat. I joined her in the passenger seat.
“Okay show me that you can drive” I smiled at her as she turned the key, revved the engine and gave me a quick smirk.
We were heading to La Push. I navigated her in the direction of the beach. I felt so alive at this point. When we reached the edge of the beach she pulled over. I quickly started dismantling the monkey suit I was wearing leaving only the suit pants and t-shirt on. We walked along the beach laughing and holding hands. She told me all about college. Which classes she liked better than others, who her favorite teacher was. She told me about the dorm rooms and about the girl who was her roommate. I teased her about boys and I was happy to hear that Edward had sent her to an all girl school. She was going to tell me what the name of the school was but I covered her mouth before she could tell me because I knew Edward wouldn’t approve of me knowing. I told her about my trip to South America. All the interesting things I had seen along the way. The weird food that I ate that sometimes didn’t agree with me. I told her about my first trip on a plane and found out her first trip was when she was sent away. She sat between my legs leaning into my chest with my arms around her as we watched the sunset. The warmth of her body renewed my failing strength and spirit. I could feel the tension mounting between us as the last glimmer of light faded into darkness signaling the end of our day together. I knew it was time to take her home. We started the long walk back to the car. I could hear the uneasy feeling she was experiencing with each breath she took. I drove her home as slowly as I could and I held her hand tightly. When we arrived I slowly walked her to the door. I could see the tears in her eyes as it was now time for me to let her go again. I firmly picked her up to hug her tightly in my arms one last time.
“Nessie…be strong for me. Just study hard and be a good girl. Just do this…for us. Don’t give your dad any grief. Remember that I love you, honey and I will be right here waiting for you.”
“I love you too Jacob”
“I believe you” I whispered as I set her down and ran the doorbell.
Bella came to the door. As she opened it Nessie flew past her and ran to her room. Bella whipped a quick look of dissatisfaction at me.
“She’s alright Bella. I’m sure she will want to talk to you. I know you can comfort her. Thank you Bella for everything. And thank Edward too. I really needed to see her” I laughed and gave Bella a quick hug.
“No problem, Jake” she laughed with me. “It’s good to see you smile again.”



I finished out my first year of college at the school my father had chosen for me. When my parents came to visit me between semesters, I told my dad what I wanted to be when I grew up. He was a bit surprised but proud that I wanted to be a genetic engineer. I was fascinated by my uniqueness. I wasn’t the only one of my kind. I did remember Nahuel. The boy who’s brave story saved me from being killed by the Volturi. But this was more than just a mere interest, I was obsessed. So I was more than satisfied when my father allowed me to transfer to Boston University. They have one of the largest facilities on campus to explore my obsession. After all, Jacob was a half breed and so was I. When I showed him our future I didn’t let him know that I was deeply concerned the way our children would be born. Would they be born more like me, or Jacob? Or would they be an eerie combination of the both of us. Some nights I woke up screaming at the possible terror of having a half vampire/shape shifter wolf as a child. What would that look like? Would it be human looking or would it be a real animal? I had to find out as much as possible. I had to study all the angles at cellular level. If Jacob and I were meant to be together, I had to know it would be safe to have a baby. I knew what I wanted my future to be, but could it be…was really the question. I got an internship at the lab. It allowed me better access to all the equipment I would need to discover the answers to all my questions. I spent long hours studying my blood at the most minuet level. I explored my chromosome makeup. I just wish I had some of Jacob’s hair or better yet, his blood. I was desperately in need of the ability to cross analyze our genetics. I wanted to see if we really fit together. I was so deep it my thoughts that I hadn’t been paying attention to my professor until he said my name.
“Nessie Cullen…are you paying any attention?”
“I’m sorry Dr. Lawson, I didn’t hear you. What was the question?” The entire lab of fellow students erupted in laughter at me. I then noticed the boy standing next to him.
“I asked you to raise your hand so that Mr. Grey here would know who his new lab partner would be, but I believe he already knows at this point. Mr. Grey please take your seat.”
“Thank you Dr. Lawson”
As Noah walked across the room to sit next to me I began to notice how unusual his appearance was. The boy looked like her could be taller than Jacob. His hair was platinum blond, almost white in appearance. He was very fair skinned like me almost and his eyes were ice blue ringed with long dark lashes. He wasn’t just tall, he was huge. His wide shoulders and narrow waist in combination seemed out of place. I could see the massive muscular build under his clothes. It looked like if he flexed his muscles his clothes would shred into tiny pieces on the floor. I wasn’t sure how he would be able to sit on the tiny metal stool that was next to me. As he sat by my side I could almost hear the strain in the metal welds.
“Hey Nessie…I’m Noah Grey. Nice to meet you.” He said with a slight smile as he held his oversized hand out to me in greeting.
“Nice to meet you too.” I timidly shook his hand to be polite.
The rest of the class finally turned around and Dr. Lawson continued on right where he had left off without any further interruptions. There was only about fifteen minutes left and I was going to be grateful to run away at this point. I could hear Noah breathing deeply next to me as if he had never smelled air before. I tried not to look at Noah. I didn’t want to be rude or anything. I just couldn’t believe how big the boy was. He eventually caught me looking out of the corner of my eye just as the bell rang to let class be dismissed. I didn’t waste a single second as I hurried out of the room.
The next day in class he was seated before I made it thru the door. He looked up at me and smiled widely as I shifting my weight around and I slowly walked to take my own seat.
“Hi again...” I whispered.
“Hey… are you okay. You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something.” He chuckled.
“Yeah…I’m fine” I whispered. The class seemed to drag and drag as I uncomfortably sat next to my giant lab partner trying not to look at him again. Our assignment was to identify different microorganisms which required me to interact with him. I sensed he was trying to figure me out. He kept glaring at me suspiciously as we both mulled our way through the specimens. When the bell rang, again just as before I darted out of the classroom.
Finally the weekend came and I was grateful to have the opportunity to spend the entire day at the lab working on my obsession. I was overly cheerful as I hurried into the lab, but then I stopped short in the doorway. No way…here he was again. Noah was standing at one of the lab stations wearing a lab coat. He was intensely looking through one of the microscopes and scratching notes feverishly like a mad scientist. I quickly grabbed my lab coat and headed for my station. As I began to take my notebook out of my backpack I heard his voice from behind and I jerked unexpectedly.
“Hey Nessie. How are you today?” Noah smiled at me as I turned around slowly to look up at him.
“Good…good. I gasped as he towered over me.
“So what are you doing here on a Saturday?” He said with a slight grin.
“Research.” I whispered
“Oh, me too. What’s your research about?”
“Err…I can’t say” I said being as vague as possible.”
“Oh! Is it a big secret” He asked with a questionable look.
“Yeah…I guess so”
“Hey I’m glad you’re here…I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”
“This is gonna sound…weird. But I can’t help but notice that you seem uncomfortable being around me. I was wondering why?” He was trying not to smile
“I’m not uncomfortable…I’m just shy I guess” I weakly answered
“Actually you’re not the first person who looked at me like I’m some sort of freak. It’s been a slight issue I’ve had to deal with. Not too many people can look me straight in the eyes. I guess it’s hard for people not to get the wrong idea about me. I’m probably the tallest person in the whole school. People just…always seem scared of me. Like I’m some monster that’s going to eat them. He laughed
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…stare…at you like that. I don’t think you’re a freak or anything.”
“I hope not. It’s going to be a long year and all. It would be nice if we could be…friends.”
“Yeah…friends. Sure”
“Great! I don’t know about you…but it’s good to clear the air. I was beginning to think you were frightened to be around me”
“No…but I have to admit. You are a bit unusual looking” a slightly shy grin crossed my face
“I can deal with that…um…I’ll let you get back to what you were doing. It was good we talked. See you later” He smirked
“Yeah…see ya” I watched him as he left the lab hanging his lab coat at the door. He glanced over his shoulder and winked at me as he was leaving.
Over the next several weeks I took notice of what Noah had said to me earlier. The other student did treat him differently. When I watched him walk through the hallway I picked up on the glaring and whispers of other people. It seemed as though Noah couldn’t even enter a room without some girl gasping at him with fear. People were always clearing a path immediately before he even got close to them. It made me feel kind of sorry for him. But he never let anyone know it bother him. He just took it in stride. His confidence in himself was profound as he swaggered. When people whispered and pointed he just smiles at them and rolled his eyes. I began to see Noah in a different way as we sat next to each other in class. The scary sensation I had been feeling was gone. He was actually very easy to talk to and was a great lab partner in class. When I was in the lab on weekends Noah and I would talk for hours about science and genetics. Philosophically bouncing ideas at each other as we toiled on our individual projects. It was becoming too easy for me to be his friend. We had so many of the same interests.
I was with him in the lab one day and suddenly he slammed him fists on the metal tabletop. The sound nearly made me jump out of my skin.
“Damn it! He shouted loudly. As I turned to see what was going on he stood over his station shaking his head.
“Are you okay…you scared me to death. What’s wrong?”
“I can’t figure this out. I’m just going in circles. I just can’t make the connection. I need the proper samples. But there is no way I can get them. I’m completely stuck and it’s frustrating me to no end.”
I got up from my station and started walking to him. “Well…maybe I can help? Before I could cross the distance between us he came around the counter with a defensive stance to stop me.
“No! No my work is very private. No one can see it.”
“Oh…okay. I murmured
“I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to startle you. I should know better than that. After all…it took you a while to warm up to me. I’m sorry for my…um…outburst.”
“It’s okay I know the feeling of being stuck. Actually I’m stuck too”
“Well since we’re both stuck how about we just get out of here and get something to eat”
“Uh…I don’t know about that I mean-“
“What. It’s just dinner”
“I’m sorry…I have a boyfriend, Noah.”
He rolled his eyes at me. “Okay, but I didn’t ask you to go on a date with me, I’m just asking my friend to hang out with me and grab some food. That’s all.”
“That’s all?”
“Really, seriously, just two friends having dinner. Scouts honor” he promised and raised two fingers. “Come on…don’t make me beg” he pouted at me and laughed.
“Okay” I sneered
He walked me to his car and opened the passenger door for me. “Ladies first” he laughed. We drove to the local twenty four hour diner which was the big hang out place for all the students. He held the car door open for me as I got out. When we came into the diner… I saw the usual gawking happened. Noah didn’t skip a beat as we sat at the first booth. We ordered our food and just talked about nothing in particular at first. Then he started with the more personal stuff.
“So you have never said where you’re from. Where do you call home?”
“I’m from Forks, Washington”
“I hail from Sydney.”
“Like Australia?”
“Yep, well that’s where I was born anyway. My family moved to the states when we were five”
“We?” I hadn’t missed the plural.
“I’m one of six kids actually. A multiple birth. But none of us are identical twins. I have five brothers”
“All boys huh?”
“Yep my dad is quiet proud” he laughed”
“So where does your family live now?”
“Portland, Oregon…my brothers all go to college locally. But when I decided to get into genetics, I had to go the best school. Boston U. was it. So here I am”
“Same reason I’m here”
“You have siblings?”
“No I’m an only child”
“Well that doesn’t sound fun, growing up alone and stuff.”
“Well, I can’t say I was ever alone. I’ve always had Jacob”
“And…is Jacob your boyfriend?”
“And you’ve know him how long?”
“Since I was born. He was like a big brother to me when I was little.”
“And now he’s your boyfriend…well that’s creepy”
“I don’t know, it’s just an opinion.” He smiled. “Hey did he ever tell you that you really smell nice?”
“What?” I questioned him. He didn’t have time to answer me. Suddenly a sharp pain stretched across my body. “OW! I gasped as Noah’s eyes went wide and he began to inhale wildly smelling the air around us and his eyed rolled back in his head. I excused myself to the bathroom quickly. Something was wrong. When I got to the bathroom I gasped out again as the pain stabbed into my stomach and back. I quickly sat on the toilet seat and as I did I saw blood. I was bleeding! And the pain was increasing. I grabbed my cell phone and called my mom.
“Hey Nessie honey-“
“Mom! Mom help me I’m bleeding and the pain-“
“Honey hang up and dial 911! I’m coming!”
“Okay!” I huffed and gasped as the pain intensified. I dialed 911 and told the operator exact where I was. It seemed like forever went by as I crumpled onto the floor in pain. Not to be embarrassed by my half dressed body I managed to pull my pants back up but I couldn’t button them. It hurt too much. The ambulance finally arrived. As they wheeled me out of the diner I saw that Noah was not around. I was brought to the hospital. The doctor asked me if I was pregnant, then asked me when I had my last period.
“My period?”
“Nessie, I know you’re in pain, but when was your last menstruation?”
“Menstruation?” I had no idea what she was talking about. The doctor and nurses just looked at me like I was nuts. A surge of adrenaline hit me as I cowered. When a nurse came towards me I jumped off the exam table and flew out of the emergency room door. I raced down the hallway scared and confused. Everyone was following after me. When I found the nearest bathroom I ran in and locked the door. Fearful they would bust it down to get to me I grabbed the handicap bar and ripped it out of the wall to brace the door. I backed into the corner and slumped on the floor holding my stomach and began to cry as voices came through the door. But I wasn’t listening. The pain was too much as the small room began to spin and turn black.
When I started to hear my mother’s voice I began to come back from the blackness and felt something wide and unfamiliar between my legs sitting way too close to my body. I felt my eyes flutter open as my mom sat next to me holding my hand. I realized I wasn’t in the hospital anymore; I was home in Forks at Carlisle’s house.
“Nessie, honey thank heavens.”
“Mom, what’s wrong with me?” I whispered
“Honey, you’re okay really, there is nothing wrong with you.” She was smiling widely at me. “Nessie, I should have talked with you a long time ago”
“What do you mean?” I said as she was heading to the door to close it. I caught a quick glimpse of Jacob pacing past the doorway before the door completely closed.
My mother came back to my side and with a cheerful voice began to tell me what had happened to me. She told me about girls, where babies come from, how they were made all the while she was gently stroking my hands. Detail after detail of my new bodily experience. When she was done she finished with, “Nessie, you’re became a woman tonight, you should be happy okay. I love you and I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner. I guess I had forgotten how much you have grown up.” And she smiled even though I was still in shock. “Listen honey, do you feel okay enough to see someone? Jacob is here, he really wants to see you. Can he come in? I just gave her a nod with my head but didn’t say a word.
As she opened the door I saw Jacob again. His expression was half joyful and half worried sick. My mother let him in and closed the door behind him as she left. Jacob sat down on the edge of my bed. His trembling hand took mine as he kissed my forehead.
“Nessie, are you okay, honey?” he asked
I nodded but couldn’t look at him as embarrassment washed over me.
“Listen, I know I’m not the one going thru this right now…but I’m so happy for you. I told your mom a while ago that you were grown up. And here you are now. The last threshold of childhood has passed.” He said with a slight laugh.
That got my attention as I raised my eyes now to look into his. His smile was ear to ear and I couldn’t help but smile back as we held each other now.
I recovered from my trauma overnight. By morning the only thing I wasn’t happy about was the bulky cotton thing that my mom told me was a maxi pad and the fact that every pair of jeans I had didn’t fit me right. They were to constricting and out of frustration; I gave up and put on sweatpants. I heard the Mustang pull into the driveway as I went to the window. Jacob blew me a kiss and waved for me to come to him. But I had one more thing to do before I left the house today. I snuck into Carlisle’s lab and gathered a small vial, a syringe, and a small roll of medical tape. I was going to get the samples I needed for my research today. The missing pieces of the puzzle in my head.
I ran to Jacob as he picked me up in a bear hug. “You look a lot better today, honey.” He whispered in my ear. “Come on we are going for a ride” His voice was absolutely beaming. He drove down to La Push with lightening speed as if he was in a major hurry. When we arrived at the beach Jacob briskly walked me down to the spot where we had watched the sunset. He then stopped short and turned to me taking both of my hands. He was anxious about something.
“Nessie…you dad and I had a REALLY long talk last night…and I now have the ability to ask you something very important.” He smiled nervously. He was rocking back and forth slightly on his feet. He tilted head side to side cracking his neck and shook himself out as he exhaled and looked deeply into my eyes. He then gently sank to one knee never dropping his eyes from mine. “Nessie…I have been waiting your whole life to ask you this…Please make me the happiest guy in the whole world. Renesmee Cullen, will you marry me?”
I couldn’t answer him. I just froze with my mouth hanging widely open. He saw the shock in my face as he waited for my answer impatiently with hope in his eyes. But I pulled my hands away from his as I gave him my answer.
“No Jacob.” I said flatly. I saw the pain in his face which quickly turned to anger. He snapped to his feet now and hovered over me.
“Why!” he demanded.
“I can’t tell you” I whispered
“Nessie, I want to know why. Is there someone else? Another guy at school you’ve be seeing?” he hissed
“No I-“
“There is another guy, right?” as he accused me and started to storm away leaving me to follow him.
“Jacob there isn’t anyone else!” I promised. “Please don’t go”
He stopped short and spun towards me wildly. A multitude of expression came across his face
“Then if isn’t another guy…then why?” he shouted
“I can’t tell you Jacob!” I shouted back.
“Why not…you have to give me an answer I can understand, Nessie!” he begged
I bit my lip and struggle to come up with a solution to tell him. My head was racing with ideas. Thoughts about my research. This whole thing, his proposal to me, had completely thrown me off from my plan to ask him for his blood. The blood I needed to have in order to continue to find out whether our DNA was compatible. But how was I going to ask him now. I stood too long silently as his hand were shaking trying to wait for my explanation.
“Fine! You won’t tell me. That’s fine! I’m outta here!” He hissed through his teeth. As Jacob wheeled around and began to run down the beach.
But I had to follow him. I couldn’t stand that I had hurt him so much. I called for him as I ran.
“Jacob! Wait! Please stop! Alright you win!”
Finally he slowed down and waited for me. He wouldn’t turn around as I came to his side.
“Jake, I want to show you something” I said as I waited for him to look at me. It took him a moment to turn his head. I could see the anger in his eyes still as he was about to say something. I knew I only had to show him one image, just one. The nightmare of our baby that had haunted me and I hoped he would understand. I quickly placed my palm to his cheek and focused on the image transfer for that brief second and the pulled back. Jacob’s eyes went wide and his shocking body movement sent him landing on his hands and knees in from of me. I waited as I began to step away from him. I had no idea what was going to happen next. Jacob was cringing. I could see that I scared him too. Then he slowly came to his feet and looked to me.
“So…that’s why huh? That’s why you won’t marry me. You think our baby is going to be some mutant freak of nature.” He said coldly
“Why didn’t you just ask Carlisle about this, he’s a doctor?”
“Jacob, he’s a doctor but he’s not a geneticist.”
“And that’s why you’re going to school for genetic engineering?”
“I don’t know if you are aware of this, but Carlisle told me once I have twenty-four pairs of chromosomes. Not that I really know what that means exactly.”
“Jake…that doesn’t mean anything. Just because we both have twenty-four pairs of chromosomes. It doesn’t mean our baby will be normal.”
“And when you say…normal? You mean human, right?” he sighed.
“Right, exactly! I really need to complete my research. Don’t you want to know-“
“Whether or not it’s safe” he said as he finished my sentence
All I could do was nod. I know it was all starting to come together. Something clicked in his head. He lost all his anger and stared at me.
“So what do you need to complete your research, huh?”
“I need you blood, Jacob”
“Done!” he huffed. I could still see it in his eyes. The disbelief that our child could be anything but perfect. “But let’s get one thing straight. Even if you find out it isn’t possible, Nessie. I still love you and want to marry you. Just keep that in mind.”