One of my favourite things about SVU is the amazing dialogue the charcters have. Here is a selection from season 1.
Narrator: In the criminal justice system sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York City the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of a elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories.
(Cragen chews out Olivia for not arresting a woman who then committed suicide.)
Don Cragen: You just used your Get Out of Jail Free card, Olivia. There’s only one in the pack.
Olivia Benson: Question. Who'd want to cut your penis off?
Victor Spicer: Take a number
Elliot Stabler: I think sex should be one of the best parts of life, not the worst.
Olivia Benson: Yeah. I'm a regular monk.
Elliot Stabler: Monkette. (staring at her)
Elliot Stabler: Must've been dead a week.
Olivia Benson: Guess he has an alibi.
(Munch has just explained one of conspiracy theories.)
Jeffries: Is there anything you just accept?
Munch: Yeah, ... compliments.
Elliot Stabler: If I die, the spot where I go down, you better make sure none of this happens to it or I'm gonna haunt you the rest of your days.
Olivia Benson: Noted
Det. Brian Cassidy: So why didn't you ever have kids? Didn't want the responsibility?
Det. John Munch: I wouldn't want to give a kid the responsibility of me.
Olivia Benson: I sure's hell wouldn't drive to Queens to save your ass.
Elliot Stabler: Yeah, you would
Det. John Munch: I don't just want to rain on your parade I want to burst all your floats.
Elliot Stabler: How long you been sleeping with Cassidy?
Olivia Benson: Uh, I'm not.
Elliot Stabler: Your stomach just dropped two floors, Olivia. The unconscious don't lie.
Olivia Benson: I'm not lying ... not much.
Elliot Stabler: Mm-hmm.
Olivia Benson: Is it that obvious?
Elliot Stabler: I'm your partner for better or worse. Look everybody knows too much about everybody else in this office anyway.
Olivia Benson: I broke a rule, Elliot. A personal one. And now he wants to see me again.
Elliot Stabler: Can you blame him?
Olivia Benson: He smells expensive.
Don Cragen: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I ask you to smell the defendant
Ray Gunther: (to Benson) What's wrong? You jealous, sweetheart?
Olivia Benson: Easy.
Elliot Stabler: (squeezing the handcuffs tighter) Not sweetheart. That's Detective Benson. All right? I want an apology from you.
Olivia Benson: (helping him back up) I don't need an apology from this slimebag.
John Munch: Hello and welcome to Parole Phone. If you're paying with sex, press 1. If you want to make a donation to a phony charity, press 2.
Olivia Benson: I always carry at least a pair of earrings in my purse.
Elliot Stabler: Yeah, like you carry a purse.
Olivia Benson: That's 'cause you carry it for me
Nick Ganzner: You close your eyes ... is that it ... to have sex?
Olivia Benson: I have sex with my eyes wide open
Elizabeth Stabler: Daddy, why does Christmas only come once a year?
Elliot Stabler: Because Santa Claus's credit cards are all maxed out
Audrey Jackson: We still have 45 minutes.
John Munch: I suppose you want to hear a detailed account of my sexual history? But how're we gonna kill the remaining 44 minutes?
Dr. Audrey Jackson: Do you always deflect personal questions with jokes?
Det. John Munch: Do you always deflect jokes with personal questions?
Det. John Munch: Now I'm a pain in my own ass.
Det. John Munch: There should be a special level of hell for this pus-sucking gangrenous malignancy of a mental amoeba.
Captain Donald Cragen: Did somebody steal your parking space again?
Detective Stabler: The difference between you and all the victims is you can walk away.
Detective Olivia Benson: (whispers) No I can't.