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Law and Order SVU
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Law and Order SVU Opinion Article
SVU - Best quotes
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One of my favourite things about SVU is the amazing dialogue the charcters have. Here is a selection from season 1.
Narrator: In the criminal justice system sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York City the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of a elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories. (Cragen chews out Olivia for not arresting a woman who then committed suicide.) Don Cragen: You just used your Get Out of Jail Free card, Olivia. There’s only one in the pack. Olivia Benson: Question. Who'd want to cut your penis off? Victor Spicer: Take a number Elliot Stabler: I think sex should be one of the best parts of life, not the worst. Olivia Benson: Yeah. I'm a regular monk. Elliot Stabler: Monkette. (staring at her) Elliot Stabler: Must've been dead a week. Olivia Benson: Guess he has an alibi. (Munch has just explained one of conspiracy theories.) Jeffries: Is there anything you just accept? Munch: Yeah, ... compliments. Elliot Stabler: If I die, the spot where I go down, you better make sure none of this happens to it or I'm gonna haunt you the rest of your days. Olivia Benson: Noted Det. Brian Cassidy: So why didn't you ever have kids? Didn't want the responsibility? Det. John Munch: I wouldn't want to give a kid the responsibility of me. Olivia Benson: I sure's hell wouldn't drive to Queens to save your ass. Elliot Stabler: Yeah, you would Det. John Munch: I don't just want to rain on your parade I want to burst all your floats. Elliot Stabler: How long you been sleeping with Cassidy? Olivia Benson: Uh, I'm not. Elliot Stabler: Your stomach just dropped two floors, Olivia. The unconscious don't lie. Olivia Benson: I'm not lying ... not much. Elliot Stabler: Mm-hmm. Olivia Benson: Is it that obvious? Elliot Stabler: I'm your partner for better or worse. Look everybody knows too much about everybody else in this office anyway. Olivia Benson: I broke a rule, Elliot. A personal one. And now he wants to see me again. Elliot Stabler: Can you blame him? Olivia Benson: He smells expensive. Don Cragen: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I ask you to smell the defendant Ray Gunther: (to Benson) What's wrong? You jealous, sweetheart? Olivia Benson: Easy. Elliot Stabler: (squeezing the handcuffs tighter) Not sweetheart. That's Detective Benson. All right? I want an apology from you. Olivia Benson: (helping him back up) I don't need an apology from this slimebag. John Munch: Hello and welcome to Parole Phone. If you're paying with sex, press 1. If you want to make a donation to a phony charity, press 2. Olivia Benson: I always carry at least a pair of earrings in my purse. Elliot Stabler: Yeah, like you carry a purse. Olivia Benson: That's 'cause you carry it for me Nick Ganzner: You close your eyes ... is that it ... to have sex? Olivia Benson: I have sex with my eyes wide open Elizabeth Stabler: Daddy, why does Christmas only come once a year? Elliot Stabler: Because Santa Claus's credit cards are all maxed out Audrey Jackson: We still have 45 minutes. John Munch: I suppose you want to hear a detailed account of my sexual history? But how're we gonna kill the remaining 44 minutes? Dr. Audrey Jackson: Do you always deflect personal questions with jokes? Det. John Munch: Do you always deflect jokes with personal questions? Det. John Munch: Now I'm a pain in my own ass. Det. John Munch: There should be a special level of hell for this pus-sucking gangrenous malignancy of a mental amoeba. Captain Donald Cragen: Did somebody steal your parking space again? Detective Stabler: The difference between you and all the victims is you can walk away. Detective Olivia Benson: (whispers) No I can't. |
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Stabler: Oh no! Tofu patties!
(Suspect tells Benson he wants some sparkling water)
Benson: And i want your balls in a blender but aint life a bitch!
Fin: He's my Jew.
Munch: I'm your Jew?! Your Jew!? How would you like it if I called you my boy?
Fin: Hey, I'm your boy!
Lol
:)
how about
Stabler: I like these little cliques there like the Mafia nobody knows nothing
Alex - "He is lucky i didn't knock his teeth down his throat!"
Cragen - "I'd pay real money to see that"
Elliot Stabler: How long you been sleeping with Cassidy?
Olivia Benson: Uh, I'm not.
Elliot Stabler: Your stomach just dropped two floors, Olivia. The unconscious don't lie.
Olivia Benson: I'm not lying ... not much.
Elliot Stabler: Mm-hmm.
Olivia Benson: Is it that obvious?
Elliot Stabler: I'm your partner for better or worse. Look everybody knows too much about everybody else in this office anyway.
Olivia Benson: I broke a rule, Elliot. A personal one. And now he wants to see me again.
Elliot Stabler: Can you blame him?
Detective Stabler: The difference between you and all the victims is you can walk away.
Detective Olivia Benson: (whispers) No I can't.
and this one lol
Alex - "He is lucky i didn't knock his teeth down his throat!"
Cragen - "I'd pay real money to see that"
Elliot says "I'd give you a kidney."
Olivia replies "Not if I gave you mine first."
In the same episode Olivia says "You know my partner has something of an anger management problem I thought he had it under control but I guess I was wrong. Seriously he WILL break your arm." LOL! SO FUNNY!
I also love the quote in the episode Countdown. The rest of the team go into the men's room. Cragen steps out of a stall.
He looks at them and says deadpan "I'm not tipping all of you." LMAFO each time!
I really love the quotes in the episode Abomination :
Cragen: "What did you get from the people at Reed's funeral?"
Fin: "Not much. After the fight broke out a bunch of people left before we got their names."
Munch: "Yeah, but we got their pictures." (holding camera)
Cragen: "Where the hell is that from?"
Munch: "One of Reverend Shaw's church members; he must have left it behind."
Casey: "I didn't hear that."
Cragen: "Give it back to him John." ~ Makes me LAMFO every time!
I am in love with this witty exchange between Cragen and Munch in the episode Resilience it cracks me up each time I see it!
Cragen: "You think Landricks is a murderer, and not just a sick freak?"
Munch: "Since when do those two exclude each other?"
I also love in one of the earlier episodes where Elliot Cragen and John are in Cragen's office.
Munch: "Are we missing some key piece of information here?"
Cragen & Elliot: "Shut up John!" Get's me every time!
I also like the quote in the episode Popular
Cragen: "I am really getting sick of these kids, which is probably why I don't have any. "
One of all time favorite quotes is from the episode Crush when Olivia and a attorney Elizabeth Pond get detained because of overzealous judge Cragen has to bail them out.
Olivia: "What are you waiting for spring us?"
Cragen: "After I'm done savoring the moment "
Pond: "This is your boss?"
Olivia: "Yeah he's very supportive." LMFO every time!
I adore these quotes form the episode Alternate
Lake: "It was a honor serving under you sir."
Cragen: "I'm not dead yet Detective Lake."
Lake: "I'm not saying I didn't see crazies in Brooklyn but you guys are coo-coo magnets."
Fin: "This is nothing you should of been here when the white supremacist shot Munch in the ass he still has to sit on a special pillow."
~ Both groups of quotes are so great!
I really like this exchange in the episode Philadelphia between Cargen and Dr. Hendrix
Rebecca Hendrix: "In my opinion, Detectives Benson and Stabler have a degree of mutual reliance and emotional dependence that compromises their effectiveness as police officers."
Cragen: "In other words ...?"
Rebecca Hendrix: "They're too close."
Cragen: "You recommend I split them up?"
Rebecca Hendrix: "If you want to lose your two best detectives."
This small discussion really emphasizes both Elliot and Olivia's flaws and their amazing similarities!
I love these exchanges between Munch & Fin in the Season 2 Episode Runaway
Ted Bolger: "Who is he?!"
Fin :" That's my Jew."
Munch: (as he and Fin are leaving) "Shalom."
Munch: "Your Jew? Your Jew? What if I called you "my boy" ?!"
Fin : " Then I'll be your boy, John!"~ So cute and funny!
I LOVE these quotes form the Season 10 episode Penetration
Dana Lewis : "Really? You're playing the fragile victim card?"
Elliot: "Fragile? Hardly Every time I'm with you I get hurt, when you went after those Aryans I got shot, when you were tracking those Eco terrorists I got blown up."
Dana Lewis : "You have me at blown up."
Dana Lewis: "The PAT's plan was to spark a revolution by killing a cop. And you guys served up that state trooper on a silver platter. Then, after all of New York's finest would attend the funeral, they would just blow everybody else up."
[Dana tosses a grenade towards Stabler and he catches it]
Elliot : "Hey, hey. I don't have a good track record with you and explosives."
[Nervously hands grenade back to her]
Dana Lewis: "Oh relax Nancy. The pin is in it."
Elliot (to himself referring to Dana) "She's not going to be happy until I'm dead."
Olivia: "Maybe God remembered how cute you looked as a carrot"
<3 !
Thats so funny!
Defense Attorney: If it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck-
Casey: -it's pornography!
Liv- And your also a cop. And no matter how hard you try, there's no way to separate the two.
FIn: Well theres gotta be hundreds of miles of tunnels. Any idea which ones are full of schist?
Ryan (CSU): They're all full of schist.
Detective Olivia Benson: (whispers) No I can't.
can anyone tell me what episode this is from
Olivia:And I want to see you castrated with a rusty steak knife, nothing is gonna happen but we can both dream.
Anybody knows from what episode this is from? I forgot!
Benson: hey El, do you ever get a gay vibe off me?
Stabler: would it matter if I did?
(Benson looks at him like 'wtf did you just say?) LOL
Then there's.
Stabler: I get hit, you get hit on.
Dr Huang: Strangle me?
Stabler: I'll try
Gotta love George Huang <3
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