This was not written by me but by Ellyn, a fanfiction writer.
It's a humorous story about what would happen if 21 century girl's(a Legolas/Bloom fangirl's) dream came true and she was transported into Middle Earth and accompany the fellowship.
Warning:Very realistic story!
21st century city-girl's troubles in the wild
They walked. And walked. And walked. With just one small break, they walked the whole day. And Amber had to follow. Everything was fine for the first hour or so. But then her feet started to hurt. She asked them to slow down a little, but to no avail. They just continued their march. Are they trying to break the Olympic record or what? Even the hobbits, with their short legs, didn't seem to have a problem keeping pace with Gandalf's long strides.
And it was cold, despite the walking. This was so different from her California. She sniffed. The cold wind seemed to penetrate her very bones. They gave her two spare tunics and a cloak, but still she shivered with every blow of the icy wind.
After three hours, she began to think that skipping gym class, which she did whenever possible, wasn't the most brilliant idea. She was absolutely in no shape for walking. But she had never liked physical activities. They only ruin one's hair, she used to say. And her 'do was always perfect.
Thoughts of her hair made her want to cry. She must be looking awful, she thought, with tears in her eyes. But her comb, together with her purse, was out of her reach; Gandalf kept it, considering her and her belongings dangerous.
And march went on and on. To her utmost joy.
Amber was never as happy to see the sunset as she was that day. Of course, she didn't admire the golden setting orb; she didn't even notice it. But the coming of night meant that they would go no further that day. She just fell on the ground and remained sprawled out, not nursing her throbbing feet. The others chatted cheerfully, but she felt too exhausted to say anything. She was determined to try to explain she was not an enemy... but not at that moment.
Some quarter of an hour later, she finally caught her breath and started feeling a little better. But then she realized that aching feet were only one of her problems. She needed to pee. And she had used up the last of her tissues at the last stop. Ouch. She looked around and spotted some leaves... but they sure didn't look soft. More ouch. Since she was stuck here, every next time she would need a toilet, she would have to improvise with leaves... if she was lucky enough to find any, she realized. Some voice in her mind whispered the word "Caradhras" and laughed cruelly. Ouch, ouch, ouch. This is so not fair, she thought. Folks in books and movies never needed to go to the toilet. Stupid writers! But she was in no book; this was reality.
Since when is an ordinary thing like toilet paper a luxury? a whiny voice inside her wondered. Since you fell into Middle-earth, another voice answered.
After the unpleasant job done in the bushes, she returned to her place and looked around. Now she had another problem.
"Excuse me," she started, and they looked at her. "I need a shower. Where and how can I get it?"
They exchanged glances, and Aragorn was the one to answer. "We all need a bath. But we haven't seen a stream for two-and-a-half days now, so we have to be careful with water. It can be used only for drinking right now."
"B-b-but... but..." she stammered, her lips trembling. "I-it can't be. I mean, I..." She closed her eyes, on the verge of tears. Since when is an ordinary thing like water a luxury? a whiny voice inside her wondered, again. Since you fell into Middle-earth, the second voice again answered. Did everything conspire against her? She felt terrible: her whole body ached, and even worse, she was all sweaty and stinky. Her misery mixed with anger. Just how can they tell me that I can't have a bath and can't...?
The thought remained unfinished and her eyes widened in horror, as she came to another realization. Even if she could have a bath, what would she wear later? She had no spare clothes, but only the ones on her. She'd have to wear the same smelly clothes again tomorrow! And again and again, every single day in front of her.
That was too much for her. Amber Aphrodite Crystal never wore the same clothes two days in a row. She tried never to wear the same outfit twice in a year. And now she was supposed to wear the same stinky clothes every day? Not being able to wash herself or the clothes? And with the thoughts of how unfair the world was towards her, she started to cry like a baby.