I met this girl maybe a month before Valentines Day and I always talked to her. Everyday. About almost everything. She was everything I looked forward to when I got home from school or soccer practice. Then I began to realize I was falling for her. And I guess it was my first experience with feeling real love for someone. My heart literally ached for her. Meanwhile, I had another friend that I had known longer. We were pretty tight. She was a lesbian also but I saw her as a sister. We were all talking and such about things and I was very well aware of the fact that the girl I liked had a boyfriend. She was supposedly bisexual. Well one day we were talking and I sudden slipped, "I like you." All I could think to myself was Omg, I really can't believe I just said that. What is she going to say that? Holy crap, I am such a screw up. So then she pulled me into another room and I immediately started saying how sorry I was. And she said, "You know I have a boyfriend right?" And I said, "Yeah, main reason why I'm freaking out now. I really shouldn't have said that." She paused, "No it's okay, because I like you to." So I'm thinking, Thank GOD! Wait....she likes me? After, my friend, lets call her Julio, asked me what did we talk about and I told her that she said she liked me. She was all like, "Omg really?! That's great!" I was feeling pretty good about myself right about now.
Two days before Valentines Day, the girl had broken up with her boyfriend already. And I was comforting her about it. "I only broke up with him because I realized I wasn't bi, I know I'm a lesbian. I just don't like guys like that anymore. He was in total shock Leah! I feel so bad! That is the worst thing to break up with a guy over!" All I could do was say reassuring things to make her feel better. I honestly don't know what came over me, but I kissed her. There was a little stillness in the atmosphere at that moment so I pulled back and looked away. "I don't think I'm ready for another relationship right now." She said. It didn't feel like rejection. More like an understanding between each other. So I said, "OK, yeah I shouldn't have done that." But she smiled, "I would like to get to know you more though." I laughed, "I would love to." We asked questions about favorite music and movies (Her favorite band is Muse and she loves Disney animated movies). She was so funny, repeating Dory's lines from Finding Nemo and I finishing them. I was falling more and more in love with her and I was willing to wait for her. Not pushing her or anything. I'm just not that kind of person. I was in love.
On Valentines Day I sent her a card, I felt a little embarrassed and admitted to her that I would've written a poem but I had writers block the entire day. Why? Because I was thinking about her the entire time. I was talking to Julio that day and I was worried that she didn't like me anymore because I saw her "flirting" with another girl. I found out that the girl she had been "flirting" with was her long-term friend or something. So yeah, worried myself for no reason there. Then Julio pulled me into a room and told she said something along the lines of, 'Don't hate me.' And I was like, "Why would I hate you? What happened?" She didn't want to say anything at first I made her spit it out.
Me/Julio
"We're dating."
"What?" The words hit me. Like when I was hit head on from that girl on the soccer field. Like a truck.
"Leah, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to do this! We were just talking and I---I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me."
"I don't hate you. I just feel---You went behind my back. I trusted you." That was I could say, I was speechless. So I left.
Later, Later it was brought up again.
"You really hurt me and I can't get over the fact that yall are dating."
"I think you need to get over it."
That stung. "Get over it? I told you I liked her! I told you she said the same thing back! And you have the nerve to tell me to 'Get over it'?!"
It's slightly difficult to recall every word that was exchanged but I will always remember the feeling and anger. It has recently gotten difficult with the three of us. They don't know why I've been suddenly acting different. Well, I finally just realized that not only Juilo played a factor in this but so did the girl. She didn't even have the guts to tell me that they were going out. I found out the hard way. And it was on flippen Forever Alone Day as I call it now. I want to tell her why I've been acting this way but I can't. I still love her. And the way Julio has been acting is ridiculous. Yet The Girl claims she loves her. She always covers up her actions to make her seem like a wonderful girlfriend. For God's sake! Julio has been trying to break up with her for her own selfish reasons. She's been messing around with other girls! Julio's even tried to use me to make her jealous! Yet I wouldn't! Why? Because I still love her. She's put me through all the pain in the world yet I STILL love her! She's broken my heart into a billion pieces, yet, it somehow manages to still beat for her. I will always love her. Because of how numb I've recently felt, I've slowly pushed her out and she's been slowly doing the same. I'm trying to get her back. But it's hard. I don't know what to do.
She broke my heart
but I still love her
It was shattered into a billion pieces
but somehow...it still beats...
For her
This is a true story. I'm still going through this. Critique this or add your own opinion on the situation. I really need help here guys.
Two days before Valentines Day, the girl had broken up with her boyfriend already. And I was comforting her about it. "I only broke up with him because I realized I wasn't bi, I know I'm a lesbian. I just don't like guys like that anymore. He was in total shock Leah! I feel so bad! That is the worst thing to break up with a guy over!" All I could do was say reassuring things to make her feel better. I honestly don't know what came over me, but I kissed her. There was a little stillness in the atmosphere at that moment so I pulled back and looked away. "I don't think I'm ready for another relationship right now." She said. It didn't feel like rejection. More like an understanding between each other. So I said, "OK, yeah I shouldn't have done that." But she smiled, "I would like to get to know you more though." I laughed, "I would love to." We asked questions about favorite music and movies (Her favorite band is Muse and she loves Disney animated movies). She was so funny, repeating Dory's lines from Finding Nemo and I finishing them. I was falling more and more in love with her and I was willing to wait for her. Not pushing her or anything. I'm just not that kind of person. I was in love.
On Valentines Day I sent her a card, I felt a little embarrassed and admitted to her that I would've written a poem but I had writers block the entire day. Why? Because I was thinking about her the entire time. I was talking to Julio that day and I was worried that she didn't like me anymore because I saw her "flirting" with another girl. I found out that the girl she had been "flirting" with was her long-term friend or something. So yeah, worried myself for no reason there. Then Julio pulled me into a room and told she said something along the lines of, 'Don't hate me.' And I was like, "Why would I hate you? What happened?" She didn't want to say anything at first I made her spit it out.
Me/Julio
"We're dating."
"What?" The words hit me. Like when I was hit head on from that girl on the soccer field. Like a truck.
"Leah, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to do this! We were just talking and I---I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me."
"I don't hate you. I just feel---You went behind my back. I trusted you." That was I could say, I was speechless. So I left.
Later, Later it was brought up again.
"You really hurt me and I can't get over the fact that yall are dating."
"I think you need to get over it."
That stung. "Get over it? I told you I liked her! I told you she said the same thing back! And you have the nerve to tell me to 'Get over it'?!"
It's slightly difficult to recall every word that was exchanged but I will always remember the feeling and anger. It has recently gotten difficult with the three of us. They don't know why I've been suddenly acting different. Well, I finally just realized that not only Juilo played a factor in this but so did the girl. She didn't even have the guts to tell me that they were going out. I found out the hard way. And it was on flippen Forever Alone Day as I call it now. I want to tell her why I've been acting this way but I can't. I still love her. And the way Julio has been acting is ridiculous. Yet The Girl claims she loves her. She always covers up her actions to make her seem like a wonderful girlfriend. For God's sake! Julio has been trying to break up with her for her own selfish reasons. She's been messing around with other girls! Julio's even tried to use me to make her jealous! Yet I wouldn't! Why? Because I still love her. She's put me through all the pain in the world yet I STILL love her! She's broken my heart into a billion pieces, yet, it somehow manages to still beat for her. I will always love her. Because of how numb I've recently felt, I've slowly pushed her out and she's been slowly doing the same. I'm trying to get her back. But it's hard. I don't know what to do.
She broke my heart
but I still love her
It was shattered into a billion pieces
but somehow...it still beats...
For her
This is a true story. I'm still going through this. Critique this or add your own opinion on the situation. I really need help here guys.
Reasons to Choose to Become Gay:
1.) To become rejected by society.
2.) To have multiple groups against myself.
3.) To raise risks of being physically harmed.
4.) To raise risks of being mentally harmed.
5.) To have less rights in the states.
6.) To risk loosing family support.
7.) To risk loosing friends.
8.) To risk loosing chances at good jobs.
9.) To get flamed for being a flamer.
10.) To be a large target for rude jokes.
11.) To be described as animals to others.
12.) To be talked about as things among the law.
13.) To raise my chance of being lead toward suicide.
14.) To lose my chance at a rightful marriage.
15.) To hide myself from everyone else.
WHO WOULDN'T WANT ALL THAT! (:
Who would CHOOSE this!?
Being GAY is NOT a CHOICE.
1.) To become rejected by society.
2.) To have multiple groups against myself.
3.) To raise risks of being physically harmed.
4.) To raise risks of being mentally harmed.
5.) To have less rights in the states.
6.) To risk loosing family support.
7.) To risk loosing friends.
8.) To risk loosing chances at good jobs.
9.) To get flamed for being a flamer.
10.) To be a large target for rude jokes.
11.) To be described as animals to others.
12.) To be talked about as things among the law.
13.) To raise my chance of being lead toward suicide.
14.) To lose my chance at a rightful marriage.
15.) To hide myself from everyone else.
WHO WOULDN'T WANT ALL THAT! (:
Who would CHOOSE this!?
Being GAY is NOT a CHOICE.