Sexuality is such a hot-button issue these days. "Are you gay? Are you straight?" But what do these questions really mean
? How can anyone really answer these questions to the best of their ability, especially when we have people who are well into their fifties and sixties and still
haven't figured it out?
I believe it was Alyssa in Chasing Amy
who said it best: "I came to this on my terms. I didn't just heed what I was taught, you know? Men and women should be together, it's the natural way - that kind of thing. I'm not with you because of what family, society, life tried to instill in me from day one. The way the world is - how seldom you meet that one person who gets you... it's so rare. My parents didn't really have it. There was no example set for me in the world of male/female relationships. And to cut oneself off from finding that person - to immediately half your options by eliminating the possibility of finding that one person within your own gender... that just seemed stupid. So I didn't. And by leaving my options open, I was branded 'gay', which to me was no big deal - labels are labels, you know? They define what you do, not who you are, I guess. But then you come along. You - the one least likely; I mean, you were a guy."
So my advice to you is this: When some nosy, label-oriented person demands that you tell them your sexuality-- a very personal revelation, even if you decide to classify yourself as "straight"-- tell them that you are interested in falling in love with a person. Why? Because it's the truth.
Alyssa (or Kevin Smith) is right when she says that it's about finding that one person, regardless of gender, that you feel the most comfortable with, and who you care the most about. It has been said many times that the LGBT community isn't about gender, it's about love
and that is the truest phrase that could ever be said on the subject.
I have been accused myself of lumping too many things under labels in this spot and elsewhere, and I own up to it. I even made a pick
where I asked you to identify your sexuality. Why? Because we feel comfortable with labels. Coming out and declaring "I'm gay!" is both a terrifying and liberating experience, because it means that we are
something, and it's easier to be something clear than to be something obscure. We are comfortable with labels because they give us our identity while simultaneously dividing us from the rest of the world. And now, I'm not just talking about gay, straight, bi-- I'm talking democrat, republican, black, white, Asian, Arab, American, French, British, Canadian, girl, boy, teen, adult-- Anything that you choose to identify yourself as. It's good to be something, but don't forget the label that fits you like a glove-- Human.
"Love is love is love," said Paulo in Gibraltar
by Octavio Solis. It is beyond labels. It is beyond comprehension, and it is beyond the laws of physics.
It just is
So break the societal mold: Fall in love with a person.