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LGBT Opinion Article

Bisexuality Confusing You? A Few Words Of Advice

Opinion by Cinders posted over a year ago
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This article is slightly similar to the one I wrote a few months ago, Fall In Love With A Person. But I couldn't help reiterating. Sorry if it's a waste of time.

My whole life I have been fluctuating between gay and straight. It was only in my senior year that I felt confident enough to come out to my close friends in high school. I even had my first girlfriend. And being in such a warm, welcoming environment, I was able to openly discuss my feelings with others who shared them.

I found out that year that not only was I bisexual, but so were three of my friends who were previously calling themselves "straight," just like I was. One of these people was my girlfriend that year. And talking with them, I realized that I wasn't the only one who came to the conclusion of, "Well, since I like both, and I don't want to be the center of attention, I'll just focus on my straight-leaning side."

I've been seeing some concerns here that my friends voiced back then. "Sometimes, I am totally into girls, and I think, 'maybe I'm a lesbian,' but then later, like even the next day even, I'll be all, 'That guy is so frickin hot!' It's kind of making me wonder, if I do get a boyfriend/girlfriend, will I remain into them all the time?"

The fact of the matter is, no one is into their significant other all the time. Believe me, ask anyone who has had a boyfriend/girlfriend for longer than six months and they'll tell you the same thing. What is important is that you want to be with that person, regardless of what gender s/he is.

I have learned, through research, discussions, and my own experience that these fluctuations are normal. To me, bisexuality is one of the most beautiful things, because it doubles the opportunity for love. As Alyssa from "Chasing Amy" puts it, "The way the world is - how seldom you meet that one person who gets you... it's so rare... And to cut oneself off from finding that person - to immediately half your options by eliminating the possibility of finding that one person within your own gender... that just seemed stupid. So I didn't."

So just be reassured that it's OK to be confused about your sexuality and what to label yourself. The Kinsey Scale supports the theory that the majority of people are bisexual. So try not to fret so much over labels. Feelings change, and it's completely normal. Just know that by not categorizing yourself, you're open to find love with anyone.
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9 comments

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Yes, it is very confusing. I swear, sometimes I think I was wrong about being not straight and then the next day... yeah. It's a tad annoying, though.
posted over a year ago.
 
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LabraLege said:
So true! Great article! I was confused about myself but then I've decided to hear all my heart's callings. If I like someone, it doesn't matter who is s/he and I feel FREE !!!! to choose :)
posted over a year ago.
 
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smile
hou0060 said:
:)
posted over a year ago.
 
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heart
Amazing article Cinders.

Whoever rated this under 5 stars (you know who you are) is going to land on the interweb police 'most wanted' list for trolling turds.

j/k
posted over a year ago.
 
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tongue
I was confused too! But lets say its a lot easier to get a girl then t is to get a guy!!!
posted over a year ago.
 
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oh so true chris either way this helped alot i just recently found out i was bi and well ive been confused lately thank you
posted over a year ago.
 
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smile
cool...i found out a few years ago...but kept it to myself, I was so at war with myself.
posted over a year ago.
 
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cloudy
my problem with switching between boy and girl almost everyday is not only a longer lasting relationship but also feeling the need to cut off/grow my hair again and change my style from dykey to girly and back every other day which is obviously not possible!! anyways great article!
posted over a year ago.
 
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worried
I know I love both genders; but being with my same sex is upsetting because no one will even look me in the eyes anymore. "You aren't firm enough in the world" is the response I get when I talk to them.
posted over a year ago.